i’m going to be honest, most of the stuff i’ve written so far have been very half assed. i don't get too much time so i rush and just get whatever possible out but today, i felt like properly writing a piece for you guys. i wanted to write something in the way i usually write and so for the first time in i think 4 years, i’ve written a proper piece. i hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it! this is inspired by the navratri promo. & the title is inspired by the song from gunday. also the ending is slightly crappy cause i didn’t know how to end it oops sorry?
Bani walked out of the bathroom wearing a black silk robe, with its lace tied to her waist hugging it. She noticed Veer getting ready in front of the mirror, spraying perfume and as she walked towards him, she caught his eye. As Bani got closer to him, he caught a whiff of her scent. She was wearing the Sweater Weather fragrance mist from Bath and Body Works. It was a scent that smelt like golden autumn leaves, bright blue skies, and crisp apple slices, or that’s what the bottle said at least. Veer couldn’t get enough of her scent. It was so incredibly addicting, he felt like he was high on ecstasy. Bani made him feel that way every time she came close to him.
Veer was about to say something but before he could, he noticed the robe she was wearing and the words got stuck in his throat. Bani really knew how to bewitch him. He wanted to untie the robe, slowly and make her his. Unfortunately, Bani didn’t even consider him hers, Jay was hers. If only she knew the truth, if only she would take off the rose colored glasses and realize that Jay wasn’t in love with her, that Jay was bad for her. Veer couldn’t tell Bani the truth as she would never believe him. Before Shakura, Bani couldn’t even stand to be in the same room as him but now, she was warming up to him slightly. He didn’t want to lose that or risk ruining whatever little of their existing relationship.
“Veer, are you ready?” Bani asked, noticing that he was staring at her but not saying anything.
“Yes, I’m ready. I’ll go down so you can aaraam se get ready here. Take your time, no rush,” Veer said, wanting to give her some privacy. Bani nodded and as Veer was about to leave, he traced his steps back and opened the cupboard. Bani simply observed, thinking he forgot his watch or something. He took out a box wrapped in gold wrapping paper and on top of it was a yellow envelope.
“I almost forgot, here you go sweetheart,” Veer handed Bani the box.
Bani arched her eyebrows as she took it from him, “What is this?”
“This is a Navratri gift for you. Since it’s our first one together, I thought I’d get you a little something to commemorate the occasion.”
“Thank you but, you-you didn’t have to. I didn’t get you anything.”
“I know I didn’t have to but I wanted to and I have you, I don’t need anything else sweetheart. I hope you like what’s inside,” Veer smiled and left the room, closing the door behind him.
Bani found a slight smile forming on her lips before catching herself and shaking it away. She sat on the sofa and placed the box on the table in front of her. She started by opening the wrapping paper slowly, delicately. When she got through to the box, she found a sari in one of her favorite colors, that of the fall chinar leaves. Veer had gifted her a sari to wear for the night.
The Singhania’s were throwing a Navratri Dandiya night at their house and as Veer was trying to find a gift for her, he thought that it would be appropriate to give her something to wear for the night. She wouldn’t have to worry about what to wear and if she wore it, he’d feel content all night looking at her knowing that she wore something he chose for her.
Bani got up from the sofa and immediately changed to put on the sari Veer got her. She didn’t even think for a second whether or not she should wear it as the gesture was so kind and she wanted Veer to know how much she appreciated the gift. Bani stood in front of the mirror draping the sari before putting on her sindoor and mangalsutra. Then, she put on other jewelry before spraying a little more perfume, the one that she knew Veer loved on her. Once she was ready and about to leave the room, the yellow envelope caught her eye. She realized she never opened it in the rush of seeing what he got her and so she went back to the table and picked it up. Bani found a letter inside, a handwritten note.
“Dear Gharwali,
Happy Navratri! This is not only our first Navratri together but our first celebration together since we’ve gotten married. I wanted to write this letter to you today because after being away from you, I had a lot to get off my chest. However, I know that I’d never be able to get it out in front of you as you’d either interrupt me and tell me you don’t have feelings for me or I’d simply forget half the things I want to say. So here’s hoping I can get out everything I want to tell you uninterrupted.
I didn’t tell you what happened because I know you won’t believe me. I heard your voice that night, you were calling for me and I thought you were in trouble so I left the house and I was caged from there. I was stuck in the cave, in a cage. The only thing that got me through those few days was the thought of you. The thought that I had to see you again, I had to get out and make sure you were okay. God, I was so worried. But then when I got out and finally saw you, any misery I went through those few days were over, just like that.
Bani, sweetheart, you mean the absolute world to me. I never want to lose you again but I also know you're not mine, you don’t consider yourself mine. But I want to tell you that I’m yours, forever and always. I will never love anyone as much as I love you. I will never take care of anyone as much as I would take care of you. I will never care for anyone as much as I care for you. I would die for you, I would set the world on fire for you, I would sacrifice anything just to see you smile. I know you love Jay and I know you don’t love me. I understand that, I’ve heard you say it a million times.
Speaking of Jay, I know you won’t believe me but, he was the one who caged me. He’s dangerous Bani. He isn’t someone you can trust. I’m not asking you to trust me but if you don’t trust me, don’t trust him either. Be careful around him and take care of yourself for me, please. I couldn’t live in a world that didn’t have you in it. I need to know that you’re safe.
Gharwali, I love you enough to let you go and so today, I’m letting you free from this marriage and from us. You are free to leave and live your life. I don’t want you stuck here if you don’t want to be here, I want you to live a happy life. Even if that means it isn’t with me. However, before you leave, I have one request.
I want to spend tonight as a couple, as a happily married one. I want us to feel as if we’re the only people in the world. I want to be with my wife, for a few more hours. Please pretend you love me, I’d be able to live with that for the rest of my life. Forget everything I said about Jay, forget your hatred for me, forget the world. It’s all I’m asking, I understand if you can’t do it but I’d be forever grateful if you did this for me.
Yours forever and always,
Veeranshu Singhania”
Bani was starting to tear up. She felt a storm slowly building as she started to read the letter and when she ended, it wanted to erupt. She knew how Veer felt for her but she never heard him say it like this, it was never in words like this. Ever since he had come back, things were different between them. It was a good different but also a weird different. They were closer and yet, Veer kept his distance and Bani couldn’t really get through to him. And then her mind went back to what he ended with. Veer was letting her go, he was freeing her. He wanted her to be happy and was sacrificing his happiness for hers. How could one be that selfless? Was it even possible? Bani wanted to leave for the longest time but, why wasn’t she happy? Why was she instead, angry? Bani was angry that Veer was telling her to leave. She was his wife after all, where would she leave? But before Bani left the room to go downstairs, she decided to comply with his wishes. She thought that in exchange for the sari, she could at least give her what he wanted for the night. Bani would play wife for the night, she would keep the world aside and it was going to just be Veer and Bani for the night. Then, after that, she would deal with everything else.
The celebrations had started and Veer was waiting impatiently for Bani and wasn’t sure how she would react after reading the letter. Would she be pissed? Would she comply? Before he spiraled completely, he saw Bani walking down the stairs wearing the sari he gifted her. She looked absolutely ravishing, he couldn’t take his eyes off her. Veer walked towards the end of the staircase and took his hand out for Bani to hold on to for support. She placed her hand on his and from there, he knew she was going to give her his gift. This realization came with a mix of relief and dukhiness as he had to face the fact that Bani was about to leave soon. He pushed away those thoughts and wanted to focus on the night because this was the night that was going to get him through the rest of his life. It was these memories that would help him live.
“Thank you for the sari Veer, I love it,” Bani said and hugged him. He was taken aback as Bani had never hugged him before. Forget hug him, she had never come close to him so this came as an absolute shock but he played along and hugged her back, cherishing every minute.
“You’re welcome sweetheart. You look gorgeous, I’m so glad you like it.”
“I love everything that you give me, anything that has your name on it,” Bani said to Veer with a tone that was very honest. She wasn’t saying this just because of what Veer wanted, but because she meant it.
Veer didn’t know what to say, he was stumped. He didn’t understand why Bani agreed to go with what he asked for so easily. He took her hand and brought her to the dance floor before giving her some dandiya sticks. They smiled at each other and started dancing. When Bani twirled, Veer took this as his chance to bring her closer to him. He took her hand and her back landed on his arm, she was now facing him. Veer took the dandiya stick and caressed her face with it, bringing her even closer.
“Veer,” Bani started. Her breath was ragged.
“Yes, sweetheart?” Veer said softly.
“Why do you love me so much?” Bani questioned as they were still swaying back and forth, her back glued to him. Veer twirled her and answered as she faced him.
“I love you because, I don’t know how to answer this gharwali. I love you because I do. I love the way you smile when you look at the moon. I love the way you laugh when Ponky does something stupid. I love how you push your hair back when you're cooking. I love how you fight with me over the smallest things. I love that your sankiness matches mine. I love your naivety. I love you innocence. I love every single thing about you Mrs Veeranshu Singhania. Most of all, I love the way you make me feel. I love how I feel like I’m the luckiest man in the world to have you. I love that you make me want to be better every single day. Does that answer your question sweetheart?”
Bani’s heart was racing throughout, it would do a little cartwheel every time Veer said something he loved about her. She couldn’t understand how he noticed these little things and despite everything she had said to him in the past, he still adored her. She nodded and they continued dancing. Bani would occasionally dance with someone in the family but she always came back to Veer. She wanted to spend the night with him as much as he did. As it got closer to midnight, guests started leaving and Bani was growing impatient. She needed to talk to him but didn’t want to ruin his night and so put it off until after. Once the guests left, she took her chance.
“Veer, we need to talk. I can’t go another minute without having this conversation. Can we please go to the room?” Bani’s voice was laced with urgency and Veer didn’t argue. They said good night to the rest of the family and went up to the room. Veer shut the door behind them and as he was about to say something, Bani spoke up.
“Veer how could you even think for a second that I would leave you? What happened to making me want to be with you? What happened to fighting for me and making me yours? How did you give up so easily?” Bani asked accusingly.
Veer was extremely confused and taken aback, “Bani, I can’t make you mine when you want to be with Jay. I can’t force it and I don’t want to see you here with me unhappy.”
“Who said I was unhappy? Veer, if there’s anything I’m unhappy about is the way you’ve been treating me the last few days.”
“What do you mean? I haven’t done anything, I’ve been staying out of your way.”
“No, you’ve not been staying out of my way, you’ve been avoiding me. I asked you what happened and you avoided me. I tried asking and you would constantly avoid me. I tried to start not one but several conversations and every time, you’d get up and leave. Veer, you’ve made me feel as if I was bothering you instantly and as if I’m an annoyance or a burden to you.”
“Sweetheart, trust me, that was never my intention. I’ve not been avoiding you but I know if I tell you Jay was the one who caged me, you wouldn’t believe me. You’re not a burden to me. You can never be an annoyance either. I was just trying to give you some space as I know you needed it.”
“I know Jay was the one who caged you. I figured it out when you weren’t telling me. It was obvious that the only thing I wouldn’t trust you about was him and so I checked in on the matter and once I connected the dots, I realized it was him. I wanted you to tell me so I could tell you that I knew and that I trusted you. I wanted to talk to you and I didn’t want space.”
Veer was relieved, Bani knew that he wasn’t lying. She trusted him. It felt as if a huge weight was lifted off of his shoulder. “I can’t tell you how much peace it gives me to know that you trust me on this. I can now peacefully let you go knowing that you aren’t going to go to him and that you’ll be safe.”
“Veer, what is wrong with you? I’m not going anywhere. I don’t want to go anywhere. I want to be here with you. I’m your wife, where do you want me to go?”
“Bani you don’t have to stay just because you feel like you need to, you’re allowed to live your life and find someone you love and someone you want to call yours.”
“I missed you, Veer. I’m so tired of not being honest to myself and to you. I never had feelings for Jay, I only said I did because I thought I had to after finding out he was Hriday. I never felt anything with him. It was more of a responsibility I felt I had to fill but when I was with you, it was different. The world stood still, it really felt as if it was just us. When we got married, subconsciously I think a part of me was happy. But I had to fight with you and I had to do and say everything I did because I felt as if I had an obligation towards Jay. However, when you were gone, I couldn’t keep denying it. I couldn’t deny the feelings I had for you Veer. I had to keep it in because at the time, I still didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t but once I found out about Jay, I could finally let it all out and feel the way I wanted to. I wasn’t tied to him anymore. But I am tied to you, by this marriage and by my feelings for you.”
Veer came closer to Bani, “How do you feel for me sweetheart? I want to know how I make you feel.”
“You make me feel as if I’m so loved that I could be engulfed by it. You make me feel as if I belong to someone. You make me feel like I’m the most gorgeous girl in the world. You make me feel like I’m worth it. You make my heart race. When I’m with you, I want time to stand still,” Bani paused before taking a step closer and confessing, “I love you, Veer.”
Veer tucked her hair behind her ears, “Bani, you drive me absolutely crazy.” Then, he whispered in her ear, “I’m not letting you go anywhere sweetheart, not now, not ever. You’re mine.”
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