Objectification of men in Dear Zindagi.

During Dr Jug's therapy sessions in Dear Zindagi, he compares the men whom Kaira dates in the movie with chairs. Saying that there's nothing wrong in sitting on different chairs while shopping for one, to know which is the correct one.

My question is what was the point of explaining to her like that as if she's a 12 year old? Why couldn't he just explain her straightforwardly? Whatever be the reason, it was an objectification of men.

How is comparing men with chairs any different from comparing women with cars?

They are both objectifications. Degrading a person to an object.

Why Dear Zindagi didn't face any backlash for making this crap analogy?

Is it because it's not like those brainless movies but a pseudo-philosophical one, so nobody noticed?

And the fact that men are being objectified here and not women, so nobody cares?

That's kind of a lame example tbh. But if you really feel like it's objectification and truly detrimental to men then fair enough lol. In an ideal world sure objectification of anyone wouldn't take place but objectification of women is taken more seriously because of the way it manifests in society. Objectification of women leads to terrible acts of women being physically harassed and raped. So in a country like India, and its neighbouring countries tbh Asia is really terrible in that regard, where women's safety can't be guaranteed and there's so many heinous rape incidents all the time we need to pick our battles wisely. For one scene of male objectification there's like 10 for women. It's necessary to focus on the worser thing and not turn things into a competition. 

In the context of the film, Jug wanted to tell Kaira that it's perfectly ok to have multiple men in her life. She had a dream in which strangers were maligning her for going out with different guys.

I'm not in support of objectifying men in any sense of the word but I understood the need for such an analogy.

Dear Zindagi had a very good concept but imo the execution was bad, and Alia was her usual just-about-average-actress self so the film was thoroughly boring, with the only good parts being the SRK parts 😂🤷🏽‍♀️

But fr I don’t think the chair line was meant in to be derogatory to men or anything... the idea was to show Kaira that society’s obsession with virginity and shaming of women who walk out of unhappy relationships is ultimately very illogical.

Because men aren't usually (and by that I mean there is a huge difference in numbers) assaulted or raped or burned for dowry or sold into sex slavery. Nor are they subjected to the subtler sexism of being mocked for raising their voice or overlooked for jobs or vilified for having had more than one partner in life.

When the attacks on men get at least up to the half way mark as those on women, you can compare objectification of men with that of women. 

That is not to say individual attacks on men aren't bad. Yes, they very much are. It just means it hasn't become a societal pathology the way attacks on women are. 

I think he was trying to explain it metaphorically. Our society is such that it will shame girls for having dated multiple guys and a girl's virginity has been made into a huge deal.

For some reason if the relationship didn't work out, the girl shouldn't feel guilty about it if it isn't her fault.

I've had friends who really put their 100% into relationships and the guy basically used and dumped them...they cried and felt 'dirty'...and I had to tell them that their sexual relationships don't define them.

So personally I feel the scene was to make girls realise that they are human, they can have their own relationships and there's nothing taboo or shameful about it if you behave responsibly. 

Originally posted by: Ashley.Tisdale

I think he was trying to explain it metaphorically. Our society is such that it will shame girls for having dated multiple guys and a girl's virginity has been made into a huge deal.

For some reason if the relationship didn't work out, the girl shouldn't feel guilty about it if it isn't her fault.

I've had friends who really put their 100% into relationships and the guy basically used and dumped them...they cried and felt 'dirty'...and I had to tell them that their sexual relationships don't define them.

So personally I feel the scene was to make girls realise that they are human, they can have their own relationships and there's nothing taboo or shameful about it if you behave responsibly. 

THIS!!

Desi society is way too hard on it’s women when it comes to these things... 

We’re often expected to be all knowing/all loving individuals who “hold together” romantic (and even other types of) relationships with our unending patience and tolerate all the bs with a smile...

We are shamed and termed as incapable, impatient, “too westernised” if we choose to step out of toxic, one sided or abusive relationships and look for something better... we’re told we should have stayed with him and used all our strength to somehow mould him into a better person instead...

Sorry for my rant haha, but I’m glad you supported your friends during their difficult times, fr the world needs more people like you!

Originally posted by: Anjalika01

THIS!!

Desi society is way too hard on it’s women when it comes to these things... 

We’re often expected to be all knowing/all loving individuals who “hold together” romantic (and even other types of) relationships with our unending patience and tolerate all the bs with a smile...

We are shamed and termed as incapable, impatient, “too westernised” if we choose to step out of toxic, one sided or abusive relationships and look for something better... we’re told we should have stayed with him and used all our strength to somehow mould him into a better person instead...

Sorry for my rant haha, but I’m glad you supported your friends during their difficult times, fr the world needs more people like you!

@bold: Aww thank u!! The world needs more people like us, understanding 😃

Rather than anyone being objectified, male or female, it was more of the Goldilocks analogy for me. With the porridge not being too hot nor cold, bed not too hard or soft.

What was hard to buy into was how Alia could play some hard, prize catch who could use and throw men at her disposal.

It made me conclude why KJo is so invested in her, he's projecting himself onto her and living vicariously through her where he has control.

SOTY, dabbling with 2 hot men who are both into her.

Here, his beloved SRK is his mentor like friend who he relies on for wisdom whilst he can hook up with Karan Kapoor, cheat on Angad Bedi, be wooed by Ali Zafar and end up being chased by ARK. If this harem of men is not KJo's fantasy then what is.

Bet he had his share in the casting too.

Point was, it's okay to have multiple relationships before you find the perfect one, man or woman.. reverse the genders and it's okay for the guy to have dates multiple women before finding the perfect life partner too.. so larkian bhi Kursi ho sakti hain😆