Connected: A YHM Story (COMPLETED) - Page 23

Part 31

Bhalla House - Sunday, 27 October, 3 pm

“Ishimaa, chalo jaldi!” Ruhi pleaded. “Ice cream parlor band ho jayega!”

“Sirf teen baje hai Ru. Ice cream shop itni jaldi band nahi hota,” Ishita chuckled. “Do minute ruko, main Neelu didi ke liye kapde dhone ke liye nikaal deti hoon phir chalte hain.”

Ruhi paced impatiently across her parents’ bedroom as Ishita sorted through her and Raman’s clothes from the laundry basket, making sure pockets were empty and sarees were okay to be washed in the washing machine. She glanced at her daughter and smiled. There was never a dull moment with her around. Before her Diwali vacation ended today, Ruhi had asked for one last outing. After much consideration, they had decided on a girls day out with Rinki and Mihika -- first ice cream, then to the theatre to watch the new Disney movie. 

“Hum movie ke liye late ho gaye to?” Ruhi asked.

“I promise beta, hum late nahi honge. Ishimaa aapko time pe pohcha degi. Dekho, I’m almost done. Aap jaake shoes pehen lo, aur dekho Rinki bua aur Mihika chitti ready hai ya nahi.”

“Okay mumma!”

Ruhi made a beeline for the living room. Ishita quickly sorted through the last few pants in the laundry basket and found some cash which she stowed into the drawer of the side table. She checked the pockets in one final pair of pants and found a receipt. She wondered what it was for; Raman wasn’t the kind to save ordinary receipts. Curiosity got the better of her. When she read the receipt, her jaw hit the floor.

It was a receipt for a money transfer of four lakh rupees. As she read through the rest of the text, her heart dropped into her stomach. The money had been transferred to… Shagun. What in the world? How could Raman have given such a huge sum of money to his ex-wife and not tell her? Phone calls and text messages were one thing, but this? What the hell was going on? Ishita blinked back her confusion and curled her hands into fists. That was it. She made a resolve to ask Raman clearly about what the hell was going on between him and Shagun. She couldn’t take it anymore. She had given him the benefit of the doubt for almost a week now. But now, the limit had been crossed. 

“Ishimaa, Rinki bua aur Mihika chitti ready hai!” Ruhi shouted from the living room. 

Ishita cleared her throat and stood up. Now was not the time to lose control. She had plans with her daughter and sisters. Raman was out for some work too. She couldn’t confront him until he came back home anyway. She quickly folded the receipt and placed it in her purse. 

“Coming Ruhi!” she called out to her daughter as she left the basket of dirty clothes in the laundry room and stepped out into the living room. True to Ruhi’s words, Rinki and Mihika were already there ready to go. “Chale?” Ishita asked.

“Chalo akka.”

“Let’s go bhabhi.”

They descended the steps, got in the car, and drove off to the nearest ice cream parlor. Ishita gripped the handle of the steering wheel and tried her best to hide the growing ache inside her heart.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Starbucks - Sunday, 4 pm

Raman twisted his phone in his hand, maintaining his stare at the entrance of the cafe. The woman was fifteen minutes late. Not that he was surprised. He couldn’t expect anything else from his ex-wife. But her careless, irresponsible attitude was getting on his nerves now. After their conversation on Thursday, she hadn’t replied to any of his messages or phone calls. So this was his last olive branch. His last attempt to get Shagun to cooperate and help him meet Adi. If this didn’t work he would take the legal route. He’d do whatever it takes to get back in his son’s life. 

More importantly, after this final meeting, he’d update Ishita on how this endeavor was going. While the rest of his family would be too emotionally worn out to be able to keep up with the constant struggle of getting Adi back, he had now come to the conclusion that Ishita was strong enough to take it. One of his initial concerns had been whether Ishita could deal with another legal battle to get custody, but Ruhi and Adi were different people. Ishita was Ruhi’s first parent. Naturally, her custody case would affect her gravely. But Adi’s case wouldn’t leave such an intense impact. Moreover, he’d find out soon enough whether Shagun was keeping her end of the promise or not. Then he could also reveal the four lakh rupees money transfer. As much as he was used to doing things on his own, these lies of omission were harder to keep up with. Tonight, he’d have a conversation with his wife and clear the air.

The chimes of the entrance rang signalling the opening of the door. Shagun strolled in in a black net saree with matching earrings and hair in curls. She instantly spotted Raman and took the seat opposite him. 

“Shagun, tumhe pata hi hoga maine tumhe yahan kyun bulaya hai,” Raman began without beating around the bush. 

“Hang on Raman, mujhe coffee shop main milne bulaya hai aur mujhe coffee nahin pilaoge?” she asked suggestively.

Raman straightened in his seat, leaned forward, and glared daggers at Shagun. 

“Listen Shagun, mujhe tumhare saath coffee peene mein koi interest nahin hain. Maine tumhe yahan isiliye bulaya hai taaki hum once and for all baat kar sake. Kya tum mujhe Adi se milwaaogi ya nahi? It’s been a week since I first spoke to you lekin tumne abhi tak koi concrete answer nahin diya hain.”

“Raman, you know very well that it’s not that easy.” 

She grazed her fingers against Raman’s hand, who instinctively jerked his hand away. He saw what she was doing and he wasn’t going to fall for it.

“Don’t talk in riddles anymore, Shagun. I’m tired of playing along with you. The only reason I’m entertaining you is because if you cooperate then we can do this without too much of a fuss. If you don’t cooperate, then I can still take the complicated and messy legal route, but that won’t be good for anyone. Not me, not you, not my family, and certainly not Adi. But you better believe I’ll do what it takes to get back in my son’s life, because that’s best for him in the long run. So tell me, are you or are you not going to let me meet Adi?”

“Raman, money is still tight around the house for us. If you could just help me out some more, then I promise you-”

“Don’t lie to me Shagun,” Raman interrupted. “I know for a fact that your boyfriend now has a partnership with a new international investor so money should be the least of your troubles. I’m not giving you another penny. The money I gave you on Thursday was only for Adi. I don't owe you anything.”

“I’m not lying to you Raman!” Shagun shot back. “You don’t think I care for Adi? I do, that’s why I’m here meeting his father without even telling Ashok.”

“I don’t care about you and Ashok. Are you going to let me meet Adi or not? Just answer me dammit!” Raman was on the edge of his patience. “Don’t forget Shagun, I gave you the money and promised to keep it a secret only on the condition that you get Adi to meet me. If you won’t hold your end of the promise, I won’t hold mine. How would you like to explain to your social circle that you borrowed money from your ex-husband?”

Raman had hit the nail right on the head. 

“Fine!” Shagun conceded. “I’ll bring Adi home during his Christmas holidays and you can meet him then, happy?”

“Thank you.”

Raman smiled at his victory. But before he could completely process the joy, his smile dropped and he watched in horror as his wife walked into the cafe. 

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

10 minutes earlier on the road outside Starbucks

“Ruhi, be careful not to spill the ice cream, okay? Almost melt ho gayi hogi,” Ishita urged. 

“Don’t worry bhabhi, mere paas napkins hai. I’ll clean it up if anything spills,” Rinki replied from the back seat. 

They had all ordered one scoop of their favorite ice cream at the ice cream shop, but Ruhi, being the ice cream enthusiast that she was, ordered two scoops of double chocolate chip ice cream with sprinkles on top, which meant she had to finish the rest of her ice cream in the car on their way to the movie theater. Ishita followed Mihika’s directions from the passenger seat and drove to the theater, all the while trying hard (and failing) to keep thoughts of Raman and Shagun out of her head. Her head was spinning and she wished she hadn’t skipped her afternoon cup of tea in the rush to leave. Suddenly, the answer to her prayers appeared, and she turned into a shopping plaza. 

“Akka, yahan kyun turn kiya?” Mihika asked.

“Miku, dekh yahan ek Starbucks hai,” she replied. “Main bas ek cup coffee leke aati hoon. I missed my afternoon cup of tea and my head is spinning.”

“Okay just be quick or else Ruhi-”

“Ishimaa! Aap kahan jaa rahe ho?! Hum movie ke liye late ho jaayenge?!” Ruhi fulfilled Mihika’s prediction before she could even voice it out loud. 

“Don’t worry baccha. I’ll just get a cup of coffee and be right back.”

Ishita grabbed her purse and exited the vehicle. She opened the door to the cafe and the aroma of coffee calmed her nerves. But the sight that greeted her next gave her a whole new hurt, this time not in her head. Her husband, sitting across from his ex-wife, smiling at her.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Ishita and Raman locked eyes, a million unsaid questions passing between them. They were less than twenty feet apart but the distance they felt between them could be uncountable miles. Shagun turned around to see exactly what caused this horrific expression on Raman’s face; when she saw Ishita standing at the entrance of the cafe, she couldn’t suppress a smirk. 

“Looks like I’m not the only one who lied to their partner about meeting their ex, huh?” she teased Raman. She was right all along. She still had control over him. She had a hold on him. She came before Ishita. Her eyes twinkled like the earrings she wore, and a wicked smile adorned her lips. 

Raman paid no attention to her and stood up, walking briskly towards his wife, blood pumping in his ears. Just when he had made the resolve to clear the air with her, she showed up at the wrong time and probably got the wrong idea too. 

“Tum yahan kya kar rahi ho? Tumhara to movie ka plan tha na?” he asked.

“Aur aap yahan kya kar rahe ho? Aap to kisi kaam se bahar gaye the na?” she shot his own question back at him. “Ya phir yahin tha aapka zaroori kaam?” Her eyes glimmered with hurt and unshed tears.

“Ishita, tum galat samajh rahi ho. Main tumhe batana hi wala tha-”

Her phone buzzed and cut their conversation short. It was a message from Mihika.

Akka, Ruhi is getting crankier by the minute. Only you can handle her. Please come fast.

“Abhi aapki kisi safaai sunne ka waqt nahin hain mere paas,” she said with as cool a tone as she could muster. Yet her voice wavered. “Ruhi, Mihika, aur Rinki bahar gaadi mein mera intezaar kar rahe hain.”

“Ishita wait-”

She blinked back her tears and turned around to leave the cafe, ignoring both Raman and the growing headache and heartache inside her.

Raman sighed and rubbed his temple. He returned to his seat to collect his things. What position had life put him in? He finally understood what it meant to be caught between a rock and a hard place. The empty abyss inside him deepened.

“I’ll be in contact with you once December begins, Shagun,” he said without looking at her. He could feel the smirk on her face without even looking. He wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of getting to him. “I’ll get in touch with Adi no matter what it takes.” 

Raman left the cafe without so much as a second look at his ex-wife worried about Ishita's temperament. 

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“Akka, aap to bina coffee ke hi wapis aa gayi?” Mihika asked as Ishita turned the car out of the shopping plaza and onto the main road. 

“Haan woh line bahot thi na, aur tumne bhi kaha ki Ruhi cranky ho rahi thi so I came back without coffee,” she replied. 

They drove in silence to the movie theater, as Ishita tried to make sense of her thoughts. All throughout Diwali, Raman had been getting texts and calls from Shagun, which in her logical mind she knew were about Adi. But her text was way too friendly for what she knew Shagun to be. Nevertheless, as uncomfortable as it made her, at least she knew why Raman had been in contact with her. What happened after that truly worried her. Raman had been out on Thursday saying that he was going to his office but his receptionist said he never went there. Then today she finds that Raman transferred four lakh rupees to Shagun. And while she was under the impression that he had been out for work, he was in a coffee shop smiling and chatting with his ex-wife. Ishita took a deep breath. She needed answers. And that too soon. Tonight itself.

“Akka, is everything okay?” Mihika asked as soon as they reached the movie theater and joined the line for tickets. “You seem off and worried. Kuch baat huyi hai kya?”

Ishita mentally kicked herself. She needed to be better at her poker face. Her sisters knew her extremely well; they could see right through her. 

“Everything's fine Miku. This simply proves that I’m too dependent on caffeine. I’ll be fine.” She gave a light chuckle. “Dekh, ticket counter bhi aa gaya.”

They bought one child and three adult tickets and proceeded inside the cinema hall.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Bhalla house - 10:30 pm, Ishita and Raman’s bedroom

Raman sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing his palms together and leg shaking. Ishita was with Ruhi right now reading her a bedtime story. As soon as she came back, they’d have the dreaded conversation. As soon as he had come back home from the coffee shop, he had been waiting for Ishita to return, but when she did walk in through the front door with Ruhi and Rinki, he willed for time to move slower. Who knew where their conversation would land them, what the status of their relationship would be after. How would Ishita react? What would she say? What if she couldn’t forgive him? He knew how big her heart was and how selfless she could be, but would he be extended the same liberty?

By a peculiar turn of events, they hadn’t had a chance to speak all evening. Ishita was pulled into the kitchen to help with dinner preparations while Raman had to get on an urgent video call with Mihir. He had run into a problem with their presentation that they were to submit the next day to their client regarding the progress of their project. Dinner had been the usual affair, except for the fact that Ishita refused to even look at him. And he knew that the icy demeanor she held towards him did not escape anyone’s notice. Although nobody asked them anything directly, he could tell from their stares and glances that they sensed the chill between them. They were the same stares and glances he had received after his divorce with Shagun. The same stares and glances (no matter how well meaning) that he couldn’t bear to see then. But now, he couldn’t care less about them. Because all that he could see was that Ishita was upset. Ishita was hurting. Because of him. And he couldn’t let that go on for any longer. So now he was waiting in their bedroom, waiting for his wife to come in so he could do whatever it took to wipe that frown off her face.

Ishita closed the picture book and placed it on the side shelf in her daughter’s room. She kissed Ruhi good night and headed towards her own room. Her limbs suddenly felt like lead, refusing to budge. All evening she had tried her best to not look at her husband, acting cold and distant, because if she did take one look at him, she would not be able to keep herself calm. But now, she needed answers. As much as the answers might scare her. She willed her legs to move and opened the door to her bedroom. 

Raman looked up and found his wife staring at him with a million questions in her eyes. He marveled at how someone could look this beautiful in night clothes, but that was beyond the point. For right now, the glimmer of unshed tears in her eyes beckoned his attention. 

“Ruhi so gayi?” he asked, trying to start a conversation. 

“Haan. Badi mushkil se. Aaj ki movie ki bahot baate kar rahi thi. Kal school jaana hai yeh keh kar sulaaya.”

Suddenly it occurred to him that Ruhi was with Ishita when they accidentally met today at the coffee shop.

“Does Ruhi know that… that…” he faltered.

Ishita turned to face him and finished his sentence for him. “What? That you were hanging out with your ex-wife behind my-” She caught herself at that word. “Behind your family’s back?”

Behind his family’s back? Did she really think that he was sneaking around with his ex-wife? He stood up to face Ishita.

“Ishita, I just want to know if Ruhi-”

“No, she doesn’t know. Neither do Mihika or Rinki. I didn’t tell anyone.” Of course he wanted to know about Ruhi. That’s what their marriage was. Sirf Ruhi ke liye. Just for Ruhi. 

“I was meeting her to try to get in touch with Adi. I told you a week ago.”

“That’s all you told me, Raman. That you’re trying to get in touch with Adi. But how can that justify everything since then? Your constant phone calls and messages with her? Your-”

“Ishita, those phone calls and messages were to try to get a meeting fixed with Adi. You know how Shagun is. She wasn’t going to cooperate after just one conversation. I wanted to meet Adi on Diwali but apparently he doesn’t come home for Diwali. I have finally managed to get a meeting with him for when he comes home for Christmas. I-”

“That’s great Raman. I’m glad you’re rebuilding your relationship with your son. But what about the relationship you’re rebuilding with Shagun?”

“Excuse me?” Raman’s deep voice turned to steel at the insinuation of him and Shagun rekindling their relationship. 

All of Ishita’s built up anger burst open at Raman’s attempt to play innocent. How. Dare. He.

“On Thursday, you said you had some work at your office and you were gone for the whole day. When I called your receptionist, she said you were never there. Today I found a receipt.” She fished through her purse for the receipt that she had tucked away earlier and showed it to him. “A receipt for a four lakh rupee money transfer to Shagun. Something which I would think you would have mentioned to me once, unless you were hiding something. And to top it all off, I find you at a coffee shop smiling and happily chatting away with your ex-wife when you’ve told me that you had work to do!”

Raman’s jaw dropped. Lady luck was really not on his side today. What are the chances that Ishita not only shows up at the exact coffee shop where he was meeting Shagun but also finds the receipt for the money transfer before he had a chance to tell her everything himself? He should have been more careful with the receipt. He took a deep breath. 

“Ishita, you are right to have these questions, but I promise you, I was going to explain everything tonight after meeting with Shagun today.” 

Raman couldn’t find the rest of his words, as he saw a tear roll down Ishita’s cheek. The first time he had seen her cry was when she found out Subbu had had a baby boy, and it threw his world off its axis. The fact that the second time he saw her cry was because of him pushed a sharp needle of pain through the flesh of his heart. 

Ishita braced herself. This was it. This was when he finally confessed to having feelings for Shagun. She didn’t blame him. A five year long marriage that gave him two kids was bound to be more important than a fake marriage that lasted three months. So she stood there with tears streaming down her face, waiting to get rejected. Again. 

“The receipt you found was for money for Adi’s school fees. Apparently Ashok was going through financial trouble and he couldn’t pay them this term so Shagun asked me. I had already invested in a separate account for Adi’s education when he was born, so that’s where the money came from. On Thursday, I was at the bank with my accountant getting the account unlocked and transferring the money to Shagun. The reason why I didn’t tell you or anyone is because Shagun asked me to keep it a secret in exchange for getting to meet Adi. She would be embarrassed if it was revealed that she had to take money from her ex-husband who she left because he didn’t earn enough in the first place.”

Ishita wiped her cheeks and paced up and down the length of the bedroom, trying to process all the new information.

“And today,” he continued, “I was meeting her to get a concrete answer regarding whether she would let me meet my son or not. She had been keeping me hanging for a week so I wanted to force an answer out of her one way or another. It took some time, but she’s finally agreed to let me meet him when he comes home for the winter holidays.”

Ishita sighed and closed her eyes. She cleared her throat and faced her husband.

“Raman, do you have any idea what I have been through over the past five days? I’ve been thinking that you’ve developed feelings for Shagun again, that our marriage would end-”

“Ishita, look at me.” Raman walked towards her and held her hands in his. He gave them a tight squeeze before continuing. “I am not interested in any form of relationship with Shagun. Woh mere liye Adi ki maa se zyada kuch nahi hai. You have nothing to worry about.”

Ishita wriggled her hands free and took a step back. Raman’s touch sent tingles down her spine and now was not the time to get distracted. 

“How could I not worry, Raman? You were married to her. For five years. And you both have two children together. Compare that to our marriage. We’ve been together for three months. And our marriage isn’t even a real marriage. Isn’t it natural for you to get feelings for Shagun? You’ve been talking about rekindling your relationship with your son. Amidst that process, how far-fetched could it be if you caught feelings for your son’s mother too? What if you never moved on from her truly? It took me almost a year to get over my feelings for Subbu and we weren’t even engaged yet.”

“Are you not listening to me?” Raman asked, barely masking his anger at hearing his wife’s ex’s name from her mouth. “I don’t. Have. Feelings. For. Shagun.” he gritted out through clenched teeth. 

“Look at you. I mention her name and your emotions get shot to hell. Did you not realize that what you were doing to me over the past few days was exactly what Shagun was doing to you when your marriage to her broke? The lies of omission, the sneaking around, the-”

“Enough.” Raman’s voice was icy cold. He knew he didn’t have feelings for his ex-wife. But for Ishita to suggest that he was on her level was infuriating. “Don’t you dare compare me to what that woman did. You have no idea what happened there. So don’t bring that up.”

Ishita gulped. The look on Raman’s face and restrained tone of his voice told her that she shouldn’t extend the conversation. But she still feared she was right. She had seen him hate Shagun with a passion. Which meant he had loved her and could still love her with that passion too. 

“But it’s true Raman-”

“That’s it.”

“What?”

“We’re ending this conversation right here, right now. Before I say something that both of us will regret.”

They both stared at each other in silence for what seemed like an eternity, before Raman left for the washroom to change into his night clothes. Ishita was left standing staring at the spot where he stood. She walked over to the couch and sat down with her head in her hands. Her bedding for the night was placed on the side table, but she couldn’t bring herself to lay it out on the couch. In fact, she couldn’t deal with being in this room. In this house. She couldn’t deal with looking at her husband right now. She needed a break. Fresh air. She scribbled a quick note on a post-it and stuck it to the cupboard before wiping her face, grabbing her phone, and walking over next door to her parents’ house. 

“Aiyyo Ishu? Itni raat ko? Sab thik to hai na kanna?” Her mother asked as she opened the door. 

“Amma, sab thik hai. Bas aap logon ki yaad aa rahi thi, isiliye aa gayi. Ab kya mujhe koi occasion chahiye apne Amma-Appa ke ghar aane ke liye?” She tried her best to hide her inner turmoil.

“Nahi Ishu, tum to jab chahe aa sakti ho. Come come.” Madhu opened the door and ushered her daughter inside. 

“Ishu beta, itni raat ko kaise aana hua?” Vishwa asked from the couch. Mihika too had come out to the living room from her bedroom.

“Appa, mujhe aap logon ki yaad aa rahi thi, isiliye aa gayi.”

“Are you sure kanna?” Madhu asked. “Aur koi baat to-”

“Amma, aisa kuch nahi hain. Ab kya main apne hi ghar mein parayi ho gayi?” She teased her parents.

“No beta, bilkul nahi,” Vishwa replied. “Tum jab chahe yahan aa sakti ho.”

“Thank you Appa. Mujhe bas kuch din yahan rehna hain. Is that okay ya aur bhi questions bhi hai aapke?”

Both Madhu and Vishwa definitely had more questions. Something was wrong. Their daughter wouldn’t show up at their doorstep this late at night just because she missed them. But they knew better than to ask right now. She clearly didn’t want to talk about it. 

“Koi questions nahi hai beta,” Vishwa replied. 

“Akka, come na!” Mihika dragged Ishita into her bedroom. “We’ll sleep together like the old days. Before you got married.”

Ishita found it hard to think about the days before she got married. Ruhi and Raman were her entire world now. The ache in her heart ripened at the thought. 

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Raman came back from the bathroom in his night clothes. He was still angry, but thinking about the situation from Ishita’s perspective told him that she wasn’t wrong. Her doubts and fears were valid. But he had no clue how to assuage them. 

He opened the door to his bedroom to find the couch empty. He looked around but Ishita was nowhere to be seen. Before he left to look for her in the rest of the house, he found a post-it note stuck to the cupboard.

Raman, I’m going to Amma & Appa’s for the night. I need some space. And time to think. --Ishita

Raman took the note in his hand and read it again. And again. He crumbled the note in his fist and his heartbeat drummed in his ears. Was this it? Was she going to decide that he wasn’t worth it? That she wouldn’t put up with him and this fake marriage? No. He wouldn’t let that happen. He would fight. If not for himself, then for his daughter. Ruhi needed Ishita. And he knew damn well Ishita needed Ruhi too. 

He marched over to his in-laws’ house and knocked with a ferocity that surprised him. Madhu opened the door. Seeing her son-in-law fuming confirmed her fears about her daughter’s predicament. 

“Mujhe Ishita se baat karni hain.”

“Woh andar Mihika ke saath hain. Come in, Raman. Come in.”

Raman didn’t bother with formalities. He was being rude, not acknowledging or greeting his mother-in-law and father-in-law but he couldn’t think of anything except Ishita right now. 

He reached Mihika’s bedroom (and Ishita’s former bedroom) and knocked on the door. Mihika opened it. 

“Mujhe tumhari behen se akele mein baat karni hai. Abhi, isi waqt.”

“Kya hua jeeju, aap-”

“Mihika, I don’t have time to answer your questions right now. Just let me talk to Ishita right now. Privately.” He put emphasis on the last word, and Mihika knew not to argue. She let Raman in and left the room, closing the door behind her, leaving Raman and Ishita alone. 

“Raman, aap yahan kyun aa gaye?” Ishita asked. The whole point behind coming here was to not have to face him for a while.

“Yahin sawaal main tumse puch sakta hoon.”

“Maine likha to tha. I just need some time to think. Just let me stay here for a few days. I think we both could use some space.”

After a long stretch of silence, Raman asked the question he feared the most.

“Do you regret this marriage?”

“What?” Ishita was utterly confused.

“Just answer me. Do you regret this marriage?”

“No, not at all. This marriage gave me Ruhi. She’s my world.”

Raman took a breath of relief. She wasn’t leaving him. Even if it was just for Ruhi. Sirf Ruhi ke liye. In that moment, for the first time, he found himself being jealous of his daughter. Damn, if this woman didn’t drive him nuts.

“I just need a couple days away from you,” she continued. “To think. To get my head straight.”

“Okay then. Tell me when you are ready to come back.” 

He ended the conversation and left his in-laws’ house, with their conversation replaying in his head. His legs led him into his flat, his bedroom, and to his bed, but his mind was stuck on a phrase Ishita had said. 

I just need a couple days away from you.

He lied on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He knew himself better than anyone, so why did it hurt when Ishita wanted to be away from him? He knew better than anyone that he thrived in solitude. That alone is what protected him. He wanted - no, needed - to be alone, to thrive. He had trained himself to be on his own. To protect his heart. But the truth of the matter was that Ishita had begun to break the walls he’d built around himself, without even meaning to. He couldn’t find words to describe it, but she could fill the emptiness in his life like no one could. What they had was something he’d never experienced before. He tried to remove thoughts of his wife from his head and fall asleep. But every time he tossed and turned in his bed, his gaze lingered on the empty couch. And the emptiness in his heart, his soul, and his life magnified. 

Lafzon se jo tha pare 

Khaalipan ko jo bhare 

Kuch to tha tere mere darmiyaan 

Rishte ko kya mod doon 

Naata yeh ab tod doon 

Ya phir yun hi chhod doon, darmiyaan 

Benaam rishta woh… 

Benaam rishta woh, bechain karta jo 

Ho naa.. sake jo bayaan, darmiyaan 

Darmiyaan Darmiyaan 

Darmiyaan Darmiyaan 

Kuch to tha tere-mere darmiyaan 

Haaye 

Darmiyaan Darmiyaan 

Darmiyaan Darmiyaan 

Kuch to tha tere-mere darmiyaan

Oh its a special feeling 

These moments between us 

How will I live without you [x2]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2lNrHJ_1fM 

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Iyer House - midnight, Mihika’s bedroom

Ishita tossed and turned on the king-sized bed. Although Mihika had fallen asleep long ago, Ishita wasn’t granted the same fortune. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get thoughts of Raman out of her head. Did he even know that he hadn’t moved on from Shagun? Or was she reading into it too much? Was she projecting her own insecurities on the situation? Many such questions plagued her, and she knew it was necessary to take some space and distance herself from the situation. But try as she might, she couldn’t distance herself from thoughts of her husband. Everywhere she looked, memories of Raman appeared in her mind. The cupboard reminded her of their argument over how much space her sarees took in their cupboard. The dresser reminded her of their banter over how long she took to get ready. And how he looked at her with a slack-jawed expression when she finally was ready. Even the bed reminded her of the many nights they had spent with Ruhi in between. She closed her eyes and sighed. She had no clue what they were now. All she knew was that she could not give up on their relationship. 

Aankhon mein tere saaye 

Chahoon to ho na paaye 

Yaadon se teri faasla haye 

Jaake bhi tu na jaaye 

Thehra tu dil mein haaye 

Hasrat si banke kyun bhala 

Kyun yaad karti hoon 

Mitti hoon banti hoon 

Mujhko toh laaya yeh kahaan 

Benaam rishta woh… 

Benaam rishta woh, bechain karta jo 

Ho na sake jo bayaan darmiyaan 

Darmiyaan Darmiyaan 

Darmiyaan Darmiyaan 

Kuch toh tha tere mere darmiyaan 

Haaye.. 

Darmiyaan Darmiyaan 

Darmiyaan Darmiyaan 

Kuch toh tha tere mere darmiyaan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVpw_kM_nW8 

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Lovely updates .

It’s like reliving yhm .

It’s that beautiful .

Coming to the story .

Why didn’t Raman use funds from his personal savings account to pay for Adi’s fees ?

Why take the troublesome route ? Unless ,he wanted to show off to Shagun that he had created a trust fund in Adi’s name .

I feel that he does have some feelings for Shagun still .Even if not a friendly one .

Adi too may get impressed I guess .

N transferring this Amt need not have been hidden from Ishu as it was not his personal savings account n the whole process had been laborious n time consuming .Ishu cares more for Raman than how much Raman does for Ishu .

ISHU’s choices are closed while Raman’s isn’t .Hence Raman was not innocent in what he was doing in Shagun’s company .

God .Ishu is definitely a very strong woman .Even if Ruhi keliye .Loyalty is a part of any marriage .N that’s lacking from Raman’s part .

A very nice update please update next part soon 

Part 29 awesome update

Ishita woke up raman for diwali rituals poor raman wow toshiji was so excited she got ready early she was happy as her son and daughter in law will celebrate their first diwali and raman is at home for diwali after long time raman is nautanki he wanted to be part of every rituals but was faking he is doing as he is helpless haha ruhi and sharvan fight thankfully bala and raman handle it shagun is disgusting ishita heard some part of talk 

Part 29 superb update

Shagun can't keep anyone happy ashok is frustrated with her such a self centred woman she just think about herself ashok deserve her they both are same they are thinking to use adi as their key card against raman what shagun think of herself raman is thinking to tell ishita everything if shagun will not keep her promise 

Part 31 

Amazing update

Ruhi wanted to go for movie ishita found four lacs transfer receipt in ramans pocket she got more scared raman had called shagun is Starbucks to warn her if she didn't let him meet adi he will not keep his promise shagun came ishitas head was paining she saw Starbuck she decided to grab coffee she told mihika she will be back she saw shagun and raman talking raman was smiling ishita misunderstood them raman was caught off guard seeing ishita shagun smiled thinking raman also lied to ishita to meet her she started day dreaming raman tried to explain but ishita left from there as ruhi was getting cranky at home raman was waiting for ishita to explain her everything but ishita was avoiding him all notices something is off between them raman tried to explain ishita she asked him about that receipt and about Thursday he was off gaurd he told ishita everything ishita is right at her place poor girl its her insecurity ishra had argument raman stopped the topic ishita went to her parents house as she was suffocated raman came back from bathroom and didn't found ishita he went to Iyer house and asked ishita to come home she said she needs some time to clear her mind he agreed both ishra are missing each other 

Pls update soon

Sorry for late comments

Originally posted by: GBSC

Lovely updates .

It’s like reliving yhm .

It’s that beautiful .

Coming to the story .

Why didn’t Raman use funds from his personal savings account to pay for Adi’s fees ?

Why take the troublesome route ? Unless ,he wanted to show off to Shagun that he had created a trust fund in Adi’s name .

I feel that he does have some feelings for Shagun still .Even if not a friendly one .

Adi too may get impressed I guess .

N transferring this Amt need not have been hidden from Ishu as it was not his personal savings account n the whole process had been laborious n time consuming .Ishu cares more for Raman than how much Raman does for Ishu .

ISHU’s choices are closed while Raman’s isn’t .Hence Raman was not innocent in what he was doing in Shagun’s company .

God .Ishu is definitely a very strong woman .Even if Ruhi keliye .Loyalty is a part of any marriage .N that’s lacking from Raman’s part .

Using the money from Adi’s fund was more of a money management strategy. Personal savings are for emergencies and unexpected expenses. When he already had lots of money saved away for Adi’s education, it makes sense to use those and not tap into personal savings that might be necessary at other times. Coming to his decision to hide this from Ishu, it comes down to two things. First of all, he didn’t want to worry Ishu or his family about Adi’s custody and what not. It’s already a touchy subject. Plus, keeping it a secret was one of Shagun’s conditions to let him meet Adi. More importantly, it’s also an in built tendency of Raman’s to keep things to himself. He doesn’t rely on others as much as he should. The next update will feature more information on this and how IshRa go about fixing their trust in each other. I hope that helps. 

Part 32

Bhalla House - Monday, 28th October, 6 am

“Ru, wake up beta.” Raman caressed his daughter’s forehead. “Vacation khatam, ab school jaane ka time hai.”

Ruhi half-opened her eyes. 

“Papa, bas paanch minute… please?” She rolled over and pulled the blanket over her head. 

“Ruhi…” Raman walked over to the switchboard and flicked on the light and turned off the fan. “Wake up now. Get ready for school please.”

Ruhi stirred in a half-asleep state but did not wake up. Raman decided it was time for a desperate measure. 

“Okay Ru, main teen tak geenunga. Agar tum utne time mein nahi uthi to papa aapko gudgudi karna chalu karenge, thik hai? One… two… and-”

Before he could say three, a pile of pillows and blankets erupted on the bed. “MAIN UTH GAYI, UTH GAYI PAPA!” Ruhi yelled. “Please no gudgudi!”

“Good girl.” He held out his hand to his daughter. Ruhi clung to his hand and stumbled out of bed. “Ab chalo, brush karo, naahlo, aur taiyyar ho jao,” he told her. Raman left Ruhi in her bathroom and returned to his own bedroom to get ready. 

But when he opened his cupboard to retrieve his clothes, the ache in his gut grew. For he was immediately assaulted with the view of Ishita’s sarees, leggings, and kurtis, which had made themselves more at home in this cupboard than his own clothes had ever been. It seemed like yesterday that he had grown annoyed with their presence. And now…

“Mere cupboard mein yeh sab kya hai?”

“Kapde hain. Aur kya?”

“Oh really? Mujhe to pata hi nahi tha. Mera matlab hai, ki mere suits ki jagah par tumhari ye madrasi kapdo ki thaan kyun latak rahi hain?”

“Thaan? Inhe thaan nahi saree bolte hain.”

The corner of his mouth curved upwards in a melancholic smile in spite of himself. He sighed and took out his office wear trying not to dwell on any other memories. This is temporary, he told himself. It’s just a rough patch. She’ll be back. At least his stubborn heart hoped so.

Kitni baatein yaad aati hai

Tasveerein si ban jaati hain

Main kaise inhein bhooloon

Dil ko kya samjhaun

Kitni baatein kehne ki hai

Honton par jo sehmi si hai

Ik roz inhein sun lo

Kyun aise gum-sum ho

Kyun poori ho na paayi daastaan

Kaise aayi hai aisi dooriyaan

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Bhalla House - 7 am

“Ruhi, aap ready ho?” Raman knocked on Ruhi’s door and peeked in. She sat on her bed pulling up her socks. 

“Almost ready papa! Ishimaa mere baal bana de phir breakfast karte hain,” she replied. 

Raman caught his breath. He knew this moment would come. When he had to tell Ruhi that Ishita had left the house. But he couldn’t find the heart to tell her. Hell, he was having a hard time dealing with it. And he knew it was temporary, only for a couple days. But if he was having such difficulty dealing with Ishita’s absence, Ruhi would feel even worse. She had already spent four years of her life without her parents, and that was four years too many. A fact that still, and will perhaps always, make Raman’s throat burn like acid. 

“Ruhi, aaj papa try kare aapki choti banane ki?” he asked as an attempt to avoid -- or rather postpone -- his daughter’s hurt.

“Nahi papa, aap bahot uneven banate ho.”

“Par beta, ab papa ne two months ke liye practice bhi to ki na? At least let me try. Come here. Comb do mujhe.”

“Okay papa. Par agar acchi nahi bani to Ishimaa ko phir se banani padegi.”

“Arey papa bahot acchi choti banayenge, tum dekh na.” Saying so, he put himself to work. 

As promised, after fifteen long minutes, Raman presented Ruhi with a mirror and impressed her. 

“Wow papa, aap ne to sach mein bahot acchi choti banayi hai!” she exclaimed as she examined every angle of her head. 

“Dekha? Papa bhi woh sab kuch kar sakte hain so Ishimaa kar sakti hain,” he beamed with a smile.

“Nahi papa, aap ne acchi choti banayi par mumma hi best baal banati hain.”

And the smile evaporated off his face. “Ishimaa ki chamchi,” he muttered. “Chalo, apna backpack ready karo aur breakfast karne aa janaa.”

He left the room leaving Ruhi giggling behind and proceeded to the kitchen to pack her lunch. As he chopped veggies and fired up the grill to prepare a sandwich, his mother appeared behind him. 

“Oye puttar, Ishita nahi dikhai de rahi. Woh abhi tak taiyyar nahi huyi kya?” she asked as she began making the morning tea. 

No response. 

She turned around to face her son. “Ki hoya puttar? Kuch bata to sahi.”

“Ishita apne maayke gayi hai,” he admitted as he grilled the bread. 

“Par kyun puttar?” his father’s voice boomed. 

Raman and Toshi turned to face Omprakash who had just entered the living room. 

“Ishita apne maayke gayi hai? Kyun?” he asked again. 

Raman sighed. “Papa, ma, aap log baithiye. Naashta shuru kijiye. Main batata hoon.”

Raman turned to assemble the sandwich and wrap Ruhi’s lunch. By the time he was done and ready to face his father’s questions, he was alarmed to see that even Rinki and Romi had joined them. Looks like he would face them all at once.

He drew in a breath to begin his explanation. But his luck worsened. 

“Ishimaa! Mujhe aaj lunch mein cheese sandwich chahiye!” Ruhi’s voice boomed until she hopped into the living room. “Ishimaa?” She set her backpack down on the sofa. “Ishimaa kahan hain?” she asked, noting her mother’s absence from the family room. 

“Ishimaa yahan hain!”

Every single head in the room turned to where the voice came from. The main doorway. Apparently, lady luck had decided to bless Raman after all. For his wife stood there in a blue and white salwar suit with a radiant smile on her lips. But Raman found something missing. Even from a distance away, he could tell that Ishita’s smile didn’t reach her eyes. 

“Ishimaa, aap bahar thi?” Ruhi asked as Ishita came in to hug her. 

“Puttar, Raman keh raha tha ki tu apne maayke gayi thi?” Omprakash asked her. 

“Papaji, mujhe kayi dino se Amma-Appa ki yaad aa rahi thi, isiliye kuch din unke paas rehne ka soch rahi hoon.”

“Lekin achanak puttar? Kuch baat to-” Toshi tried to ask. 

“Mummyji, koi baat nahi huyi hai. Mujhe bas man hua to chali gayi. Aap tension mat lijiye.”

Toshi and Omprakash exchanged knowing glances. They’d been married long enough to know that something was wrong between Raman and Ishita. They also knew that it was best not to drag out their questions in front of the family. They had to trust that their son and daughter-in-law would resolve their differences by themselves. 

“Accha koi nahi. Tu sahi time pe aayi hai Puttar. Aaja chal, sab ke saath naashta kar le,” Toshi beckoned. 

“Maine naashta kar liya hai Mummyji. Aap log kijiye. Main to bas Ruhi ka lunch pack karne aur use breakfast karaane aayi thi.”

She led Ruhi to the table. “Kya keh rahe the aap?” she asked, pouring a glass of milk for Ruhi. “Aapko lunch mein cheese sandwich chahiye?”

“Lunch mein maine already veggie sandwich banaya hai,” Raman interjected. He turned his attention to Ruhi. “Cheese sandwich kal banadu Ru?” 

“Kal bhi aap hi lunch banayenge, papa?” she asked. “Ishimaa waapis nahi aayengi?”

Ishita’s heart squeezed. Last night, she had to leave and get some distance from Raman. But all morning she had been worried about Ruhi. Ishita knew she’d be back soon. But would Ruhi understand? Her little girl already had abandonment issues. She couldn’t bear to add to that. As her mother, it was responsibility to heal her daughter and make her feel safe. 

“Beta,” Raman said, “ab Ishimaa ko apne mummy-papa ki yaad aa rahi ho, toh woh kuch din to rahengi na? Woh do-teen din wahan rahengi. Tab tak papa hain na yahan?”

“Aur aap ko jab bhi mujhse milna ho,” Ishita added, “aap Paati ke ghar aa jaana. Thik hai?”

“Okay mumma,” Ruhi said. 

Ishita and Raman kept their gaze fixed on their daughter to ensure she was okay. Fortunately, she was already reaching for the cocoa puffs cereal as she regaled her grandmother with the latest of her classmates’ mischief. Ishita let out a breath of relief and felt a rush of gratitude towards her husband. In her entire personal and professional life, she had known many men who took their wives’ and girlfriends’ for granted. Who assumed that being the man in the relationship meant they had complete control over their partner’s time. Who refused to give their partner any personal space. Five months ago, she would have taken Raman to be that kind of man. Today, she felt fortunate that he was willing to take a step back and give her the space she needs.

As the family indulged in their breakfast, Ishita turned towards the kitchen. Her eyes met with Raman’s, and the smile on her face faded as silence stretched between them.

“Ruhi ka lunch taiyyar hai,” he whispered, pointing to her packed lunch bag. “Veggie sandwich ke saath apple ki slices bhi rakhi hain.”

“Aur note?”

“Kya?”

“Ruhi ke lunch mein aap notes daalne lage the na?”

“Oh shit! Main to bhul hi gaya!” Raman exclaimed. 

“Raman!” Ishita whisper-shouted. “Watch your language! There’s a kid in the room!”

Raman turned to see Ruhi drinking the last of her milk.

“Mujh par bhadakne se pehle ek baar udhar dekh, Jhansi ki Rani. Ruhi ne kuch nahi suna.”

“Aur agar sun leti to?”

“Madrasan tum bhi na…”

Raman let the end of his sentence hang in the air as realization dawned upon them. For a minute there, they were their old selves. The ones who bickered and fought and teased one another. But now, as Raman cleared his throat and Ishita averted her eyes, no one could deny the undertone of sadness that ran between them both. With so much unsaid and unknown between them. 

Dono ke dilon mein chhupa hai

Jo ik anjaana sa gham

Kya ho paayega woh kam

Koyi kya kahe

Dono ne kabhi zindagi ke

Ik mod pe bhi jo paayi

Hai kaisi woh tanhaai

Koyi kya kahe

Kitna viraan hai ye sama

Saanson mein jaise ghulta hai dhuwaan

Kaisi aayi hai aisi dooriyaan

“Papa, mumma, main dadu ke saath school jaa rahi hoon,” Ruhi exclaimed, diverting her parents’ attention. “Bye papa! Bye mumma!” 

“Bye beta!”

Raman and Ishita waved goodbye to Ruhi and Omprakash in the doorway. 

“Main bhi chalti hoon. Mujhe clinic jaana hain,” Ishita said to her family seated at the table. “Main bas apna white coat le leti hoon.”

Raman watched Ishita’s retreating figure to the bedroom and his brain ran a million miles an hour. There was so much he wanted to say. So much he wished he would have said on time. That he was wrong to hide his dealings with Shagun. That he was wrong to tackle Adi’s issue without taking Ishita in confidence. That he should’ve trusted Ishita enough to confide in her. But he didn’t. Now that he had so much to say, his grip on his relationship with Ishita was loosening. 

Ishita emerged into the living room with her coat in hand and bid her goodbyes to the family as she made her way to the front door. Raman squared his shoulders and called out to her. “Ishita!” 

His wife stopped in her tracks and turned around at the threshold of the house. 

“Kya hua?” she asked. 

Raman crossed the room and faced his wife. He decided that nothing would be left unsaid between them now. Or ever. 

“Ishita,” he whispered, “main jaanta hoon ki tumhe abhi mujhse baat nahi karni. And that’s fine. Take your time. But I want you to know that I have a lot to say to you. And whenever you’re ready, we can have a conversation. I’m sorry for hurting you, but I promise I never meant to. I only wanted to save you any worry or trouble. I just…” He sighed and stopped himself. “I don’t want to give excuses. But just know that the ball is in your court now. Let me know when you’re ready and we can talk.”

“Okay. I’ll let you know,” Ishita replied. 

Before he could say anymore, Ishita turned on her heels and descended the steps, leaving Raman at the doorway. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRZD7mXDCVU

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Iyer House - 10 am

The front door creaked open and Toshi was greeted with the sizzle of mustard seeds in hot oil. The aroma of Madhu’s upma diffused through the flat. 

“Oye Madhu! Kidhar ho?” Toshi yelled. 

Surprised by the sudden arrival, Madhu wiped her hands on the kitchen towel and set the stove to low heat. “Coming!” she shouted back.

Madhu greeted Toshi in her living room and invited her to sit. 

“Aiyyo Santoshi, accha hua tum aa gayi. Main bhi tumse milne aane hi wali thi. Pehle tum yeh batao, chai logi ya coffee?” Madhu asked. 

“Oye Madrasan, chai coffee nu chud pare. Mainu tere naal bahot jaroori baat karni hai. Yeh Raman te Ishita ke beech ki hoya? Woh ghar chod ke yahan kyun aayi?”

“I don’t know Santoshi. Kal raat ko jab maine aur Vishwa ne pucha to usne kaha ki use humari yaad aa rahi thi isiliye aa gayi. Lekin woh itni maayus lag rahi thi… Aur phir Raman bhi aaya usse baat karne, tab bhi mujhe lagaa ki kuch to baat huyi hai. Par woh kuch bata hi nahi rahi hai.”

“Hey bhagwan, zaroor Raman ne hi kuch kiya hoga. Warna Ishita kabhi aisa nahi karegi. Woh bhi Ruhi ko chod ke-”

“Par Toshi-”

“-lekin woh hai badi acchi, haan Madrasan. Raman se naraaz hain phir bhi Ruhi ko sawere sawere taiyyar karne aayi, usko breakfast karaya-”

“O Punjaban! Aiyyo mujhe bhi kuch bolne to do!” Madhu exclaimed. 

“Haan haan sorry sorry, bol. Kya keh rahi thi?”

“Santoshi, mujhe lagta hai ki Ishu aur Raman ko aapas mein baat kar leni chahiye. Ho sakta hai ki Ishu hi baat ko badha rahi ho? Aur is sab mein Ruhi ko pata nahi kitni takleef ho rahi hogi.”

“Nahi, actually aaj subah un dono ne Ruhi ko acche se samjha diya tha, to uski chinta karne ki zaroorat nahi hai. Mainu to dono bacche ki tension ho rahi hai. Kitne saalon baad maine apne puttar ke chehre pe sukoon dekha tha. Dono kuch bolenge nahi par ek doosre ke saath woh kitne khush hai yeh to sirf hum hi dekh sakte hain.”

“Aap bilkul sahi keh rahi hain samdhanji,” Vishwa’s voice echoed from the bedroom.

“Oho samdhiji!” Toshi stood to greet Vishwa as he took a seat beside his wife. “Kya kar rahe the andar?”

“Main to humara purana radio thik kar raha tha. Par jo aap keh rahi thi na, usse main 100% agree karta hoon. Humne bhi Ishu ko itna khush kabhi nahi dekha hai pehle. Woh humesha kehti hain ki Ruhi ki maa banne se use khushi mili hai. Aur woh definitely sach baat hai. Lekin Raman ki wajah se bhi Ishu mein bahot change aaya hai, jo woh nahi dekh sakti.”

“You are completely right, Vishwa,” Madhu added. “Pata hai Santoshi, Ishu humesha se bahot focused rahi hai apne career pe aur apne kaam mein. Lekin uski wajah se woh bahot anxious bhi raha karti thi. Humesha tension mein, humesha chinta mein. Par Raman se shaadi karne ke baad, I’ve seen her so relaxed now. Mujhe Raman pe itna pride aata hai…”

“Sach mein Madhu,” Vishwa continued, “The thing is, Ishu humesha dusro ke baare mein sochti rahi hai. Chahe woh meri aur Madhu ki tabiyat ko lekar ho, Mihika ki padhai ko lekar, ya phir kabhi aadhi raat ko koi patient ko emergency ho. Aur hum chaahe jo bhi kare, use apna khayal humesha last mein aata hai. She can be selfless to a harmful extent sometimes. Lekin jis tarah se Raman uska khayal rakhta hai, I’m so happy with it. Finally, my Ishu -- who takes care of everyone else -- found the man who takes care of her.”

Toshi was stunned. 

“Kya baat hai samdhi ji…” Toshi said, “mere puttar ki itni taareef karke aapne to mera dil jeet liya.”

“Arey kya aap bhi…” Vishwa muttered shyly.

“Ab bas Maatarani kare in dono ke beech mein sulah ho jaaye. Ek kaam karte hain. Main Raman se baat karti hoon, aur Madhu tu Ishita se baat kar. Hum samjhaayenge to-”

“Nahi samdhan ji!” Vishwa interrupted. “Dekhiye, woh dono pati-patni hai. Jo bhi baat huyi hogi woh aapas mein suljha lenge. We shouldn’t interfere.”

“Bhalla ji bhi mainu yahin keh rahe the. Lekin mujhse dono ko aise maayoos nahi dekha jaata. Thik hai. Main abhi kuch nahin kahungi. Lekin main bhi keh deti hoon, agar meri bahu do din mein ghar wapis nahi aayi na, to maine apne puttar ka kaan marod ke uski akkal thik kar deni hain. Mujhse aur der nahi ruka jaayega.”

Madhu and Vishwa smiled and glanced at each other. There was no stopping Toshi Bhalla when she put her mind to something.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Batra Medical Center, Dentistry Clinic - 12:30 pm

Ishita rubbed her temple and poked at her lunch with her fork, finding it hard to focus on her appetite. She had a busy morning with a string of patients, but her lunch break served as the time for her to introspect. Last night, Raman’s revelations had assuaged her fears of him possibly being involved with Shagun. Taking some time away from him meant that she could now see the situation from his perspective. Raman had simply been trying to reconnect with Adi. Which brought up other questions in her mind. Why didn’t he confide in her? Why didn’t he keep her in loop when it came to decisions about their finances and their family? What was the foundation of their relationship if he couldn’t trust her with all this information?

“...whenever you’re ready, we can have a conversation. …the ball is in your court now. Let me know when you’re ready and we can talk.”

Raman’s words from this morning kept coming back to her. He made it clear that he was ready to end the fight, but he had left the decision to her. 

The ringing of her phone forced her thoughts to a screeching halt. Vandu’s name flashed on the screen. 

“Hello Akka.”

“Hi Ishu! Kaisi hai?”

“Main theek hoon, akka. Aap kaise ho? Is waqt kaise phone kia?”

“Zyada ban mat Ishu. Tujhe bhi pata hai maine kyun phone kiya hai.”

“Kya?”

“Ishu, I wanted to check in on you and make sure you’re okay. Amma was saying you might be having problems with Raman…?” 

“No akka,” Ishu sighed. “Aisa kuch nahi hai. Mujhe to bas-”

“Amma-appa ki yaad aa rahi thi, haina? Dekh Ishu, tujhse zyada maine aur Amma ne married life dekhi hai. To humein bewakoof banane ki koshish mat kar. Ab sach sach bata mujhe, kya baat hai?”

Ishita took a deep breath. And then she held nothing back. She told her sister about Raman’s growing distance since Ashok’s Diwali party. His phone calls and text messages with Shagun. The four lakh rupee money transfer. Him meeting Shagun in a coffee shop on the pretext of ‘work.’ And their fight last night where Raman revealed the truth behind it all. 

“Ishu, doesn’t this mean that he proved your doubts wrong? He’s not involved with Shagun, right?”

“That’s not the point, Akka,” Ishita scoffed. “The point is he didn’t tell me any of this. He didn’t take me into confidence. I’m his wife. Shouldn’t I know of things that have to do with our finances and our family and our children?”

On the other side of the line, Vandu pressed her lips together. This was the perfect opportunity to make her sister see sense. 

“Why should he tell you any of it, Ishu? You guys have both been going on and on about how this marriage is only for Ruhi, right? The whole situation had nothing to do with Ruhi. So then according to your ‘sirf Ruhi ke liye’ mandate, he wasn’t obligated to tell you anything, right?”

“Akka…but…”

“Ishu, listen to yourself. You’re calling yourself his wife. You’re referring to his family as your family and his finances as your finances. Hell, you even referred to both Ruhi and Adi as your children. You really think this marriage is still fake? Just a formality?”

“I… Actually I…” Ishita was at a loss for words.

“And another thing,” Vandu continued, “if you knew since the night of Ashok’s Diwali party that Raman was talking to Shagun to try to get to his son, why did you get so doubtful when he started calling her and texting her and what not? You’re right to be mad, Ishu, that he didn’t tell you about the money he transferred. But according to what you said, you were already having doubts before you found that receipt. Why is that?”

“What do you mean, Akka? My doubts were valid.”

“Yes, your doubts and fears were all valid, Ishu. My question is, why did you have the doubts in the first place? What does that say about your relationship and your trust in your marriage?”

“Akka, this conversation was a bust. I’m more confused now than I was before. Thanks a lot,” Ishita snapped. “I have to go. My lunch break is ending.”

She let out a deep exhale and switched off her phone before her sister could go on spewing any more nonsense. 

But now that she thought of it, Vandu wasn’t wrong. Nothing she said was nonsensical. In fact, it all made perfect sense. Ishita knew very well that the Bhallas meant just as much to her as did the Iyers. She saw that she loved Adi like her own son without even meeting him. She and Raman were not the conventional couple. They might not have love and romance and what not, but she wasn’t out of line to be expecting a foundation of trust between them, was she? And coming to her sister’s next question, why did Ishita jump to conclusions regarding Raman and Shagun’s relationship (or lack thereof) when she knew the purpose behind their communication from the get go? What did that mean for their marriage?

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Raman’s Office - 6:30 pm

“Mihir, sab ko unka Diwali bonus mil gaya na? With extra compensation?” Raman asked. They were both in the middle of winding up their last staff meeting of the day. 

“Yes bhai. Mujhe meeting ke beech mein hi confirmation aaya us baat ka. I was about to tell you.”

“Good. Everybody has been working really hard. They deserve it.”

“Bhai?”

“Haan?”

“Ek baat puchu? Bura to nahi lagaayenge?”

“Woh to us baat pe depend karta hai ki tu kya puchega.”

“To phir rehne dijiye. Mujhe nahin puchna.” Mihir picked up his laptop and left the conference room. 

“Accha thik hai, ab bhav mat kha. Chup chaap puch jo puchna hai,” Raman called after him. 

Mihir turned around to face Raman. 

“Aapka aur Ishita bhabhi ka jhagda hua hai?”
“How is that any of your business?!”

“So you’re not denying it.”

“It’s late Mihir. Go home.”

“Come on bhai. Koi bhi dekh sakta hai ki aapka mood kitna utra hua hain. But in such a different way. Before when you were pissed off, you got so angry that no one could approach you. But today, you’ve been sulking like a puppy dog.”

“Excuse me? Watch your words Mihir! I’m still your boss, you know!”

“Abhi bhi aapke gusse mein woh baat nahi aa rahi bhai. It’s almost like jab se aapki shaadi huyi hai tab se aapne apna rage factor dial down kar diya hai. What’s that about?”

“Woh isiliye kyunki tumhari bhabhi mera jitna dimaag khaati hain utna is office wale sab milke bhi nahi khaate. Uske badle mein yeh office ke chochle bahot chote lagte hain.”

“Jokes apart, what really happened to you today? What’s going on between you and Ishita bhabhi?”

“Tujhe bola na ghar jaa?!”

“Fine jaata hoon.” Mihir turned to leave but stopped abruptly. “Ek advice du, bhai?”

“Haan, yeh bhi bol hi de. Ab kyun kuch man mein rakhna?”

“You have someone in your corner now. Someone to look out for you. Someone who cares for you. Don’t push her away.”

Mihir turned around and left, as Raman crept quietly to his cabin. The last meeting of the day had ended 20 minutes ago, which meant the office was pretty much empty now. As he packed up his things in his cabin to end his workday, he berated himself for the nth time for how he handled the situation at home. Mihir had hit the nail on the head. He shouldn’t have been pushing Ishita away. He justified the fact that he hid so much from Ishita with the excuse that he didn’t want to worry her. Although partially true, he knew very well that the real reason behind this blunder was his inability -- or rather refusal -- to trust. The walls he built around himself were so old and stubborn, that he didn’t know how to break them himself. Ishita had been chipping away at them, dismantling them for three months. But he didn’t break free of them. Because she couldn’t do that on her own. She wasn’t solely responsible for him. He was. He had to do the work to heal himself. Ishita had opened the gates. It was his job to walk his path. Now he could only hope that Ishita would be willing to stick by his side as he did so. 

Raman put on his coat and collected his laptop bag as he switched off the lights and left his cabin. On the way to his car, he checked his phone again, hoping to see a message or missed call from his wife. He counted at least seven different instances today when he had to physically put away his phone to stop himself from texting her. He almost dialed her number three different times. But he had promised her space. He had promised that she could take all the time that she needed before coming back home. So he restrained himself. Again. He threw his phone into the glove compartment of his car and put on his seat belt. As he shifted to gear to drive and pulled out of the parking lot, he made a firm resolve to open himself to Ishita. This marriage was no more a sham or a contract. At least for him, this wasn’t fake. It was as real as it got. And if he put in the work, it could even be more real than what he had with Shagun. Therefore, he decided that whenever Ishita was ready to come back, whenever she was ready to talk, he would make every effort to trust her. To be her companion, her partner. Mihir was right. He had this amazing woman in his corner now. He wasn’t letting his emotional incapabilities get in the way. He wasn’t going to push her away. 

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Iyer House - the next day, Tuesday, 8:30 pm

Mihika and Ruhi kicked open the door and set down their shopping bags, which meant they took up the entire three-seat sofa. 

“Ishimaa! Tata! Pati! Dekho, maine aur Chitti ne kitni shopping ki!” Ruhi shouted. She went across the hall and called the rest of her family. “Dadu! Dadi! Bua! Come look what I got!”

As everyone gathered in the living room, Mihika and Ruhi organized their bags to show off the newest additions of their wardrobe.

“Oh my god!” Rinki marveled at the sheer amount of shopping bags. “Mihika, tune apna pura Diwali bonus kharch kar diya kya?”

“Nahi Rinki, pura nahi. Par haan, kaafi saara. And I’m not apologizing for it. Retail therapy is the best therapy!” Mihika beamed. 

“Chalo ab batao to sahi, tum logon ne kya kya liya?” Madhu asked. 

“Come, we’ll show you,” Mihika said. “Lekin Akka kahan hai?” She looked around, confused at Ishita’s absence. “Woh to keh rahi thi ki hum jab wapis aaye tab unhe Ruhi ki saari shopping dekhni hai? Akka?!”

“Coming!” Ishita’s voice rang from the kitchen. She stumbled out with a wet towel as she wiped her hands dry. Her hair was tied in a bun and beads of sweat glistened on her forehead. 

“Akka, kitchen mein koi marathon daud rahe the kya? Why are you sweating?”

“Main counter pe chadke upar waale cupboards ki safaai kar rahi thi.”

“Humne abhi to Diwali pe pure ghar ki deep cleaning karwai thi. To ab aap kyun kar rahi thi? Wait, were you stress-cleaning again?”

“Miku, tum chup chaap batao na, tum dono ne kya shopping ki?”

“Accha thik hai. Look… this dress…”

Mihika and Ruhi laid out an elaborate show of each dress, skirt, top, and pairs of pants and shoes they bought. Mihika had been dying for a shopping session ever since she received her Diwali bonus, and today, she decided she would bless upon Ruhi the joy of retail therapy. Shopping with her niece had been a blast. But seeing her show off her wardrobe topped that. 

Ishita paid as much attention as she could to her sister and daughter, but found it hard to keep focus. She was, in fact, stress-cleaning. She had had two whole days to dwell and contemplate on her fight with Raman, and ever since she came home today, she had been looking forward to talking to him. She knew what to say now and she knew how to fix this. But seeing as her husband had a dinner meeting out with a client, she had to wait longer than expected. So she decided to burn off her stress and nervous energy through deep cleaning. She practically smelled of disinfectant now.

“...phir hum logon ne pizza bhi khaya aur baad mein brownie aur ice cream!” Ruhi squealed. 

Ishita blinked and mentally reprimanded herself. Pay attention, Ishita.

“Aur yeh dekho mumma!” Ruhi picked up the last bag and settled beside Ishita. “These are my favorite things!”

One by one, Ruhi placed each item in Ishita’s lap. A tutu, a leotard, ballet shoes, and ankle bells. Realization dawned upon her. 

“Ruhi, yeh to sab ballet aur bharatnatyam ki cheezein hain. Aap ko seekhna hai?” Ishita asked. 

“Yes mumma,” she replied.

“Thik hai. Aaj aapke papa se baat karke, we’ll get you enrolled in both classes. Okay? Accha, ab aap apni saari cheezein samet lo, phir aapke cupboard mein jaake organize kar dete hain.”

As Ruhi became busy putting away her new purchases, Ishita glanced at the clock, willing time to go faster so she could see Raman soon. Her knee wobbled at an unkempt speed and she fidgeted with her saree, trying to hide how anxious she was. 

“Mumma, chalo,” Ruhi called to her. 

Ishita stood up and helped Ruhi with her bags, grateful that her hands had something to do. They steadily organized each piece of Ruhi’s new wardrobe into her dresser and cupboard, after which Ruhi returned to the Iyer house to join her grandparents. Before Ishita could decide whether to follow her daughter or not, she heard the screeching halt of a car’s tires from the window. A quick glance out the window told her that her husband was here. This was it. 

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Akash Ganga Society Parking Lot - 8:30 pm

Raman slammed the door shut as he exited his car. That was one of the longest and most arduous meals he had to sit through. He hated that his dinner was spent discussing budget reports and projected sales when he could have spent it with his daughter at home. But Mihika’s 37 pictures to their family group chat told him clearly that Ruhi was having a great time. 

Raman rounded the corner of the building and proceeded to the staircase. But before he could climb the first step, his gaze landed on his wife who stood at the top of the staircase. A messy bun, no makeup, and an old simple green and blue saree. She descended the steps, stood in front of him, braced her shoulders, and cleared her throat. 

“Mujhe aap se baat karni hai,” she said. 

“Thik hai. Chalo upar,” Raman replied with an air of nonchalance. 

“Upar sab hai. Yahin niche baat karte hain. Akele mein.”

“Thik hai. Come.”

They walked along, quietly side by side, waiting for the other to break the silence first.

“Ishita woh-”

“Aapne mujhe-” They both spoke at once. 

“Tum bolo pehle,” Raman offered. 

“Main puch rahi thi ki aapne mujhe bataya kyun nahi sab ke baare mein? The money transfer and all? Mujhse chupaya kyun?”

“I have two reasons for that. First, I didn’t want to worry you. I saw how stressed and worried you were throughout Ruhi’s custody case. I didn’t think you could handle another one so soon. I just… didn’t want to worry you.”

“Raman, it’s my job to worry about our children. Of course, I’ll worry about them. But that doesn’t mean I’m not strong enough to handle it.”

All sound stopped. Or maybe Raman was just having trouble hearing Ishita over the wind in his ears. She had just referred to his children as their children. Which meant that she called Adi her own child too. Damn, if his heart didn’t flutter at that. 

“I’m more than capable of dealing with anything that life throws our way. Especially if it’s about our kids,” she continued. 

“I know that now,” Raman admitted, willing his heart to set into place. 

“What’s the second reason? The other reason why you hid things?”

“The second reason is a bit more complicated.” He gestured to the bench they were approaching. “Baitho.”

They sat down and faced each other. 

“Ishita, you have to know that I didn’t mean to hide anything from you. It wasn’t an active decision on my part to purposefully keep anything from you. At first, it just didn’t occur to me to tell you. And then when it did, I wanted to see if I could do things my way. That’s how I function. I’ve been on my own for so long that I don’t trust anyone else now.” 

“Raman, if you don’t trust me, then how can our marriage work? How do we function as Ruhi’s parents if you don’t trust me with our daughter-”

Before she could finish her sentence, Raman grabbed her wrist to silence her.

“That’s not what I meant Ishita,” he groaned. “Of course I trust you with Ruhi. I trust her with you more than I trust myself. What I meant was… Okay look… I’ve been on my own for five years. They were the most brutal years of my life. And I found that the only person I could rely on completely was myself. I’ve never trusted anyone so completely since my divorce. And now, it feels like I’ve forgotten how. I’m so used to being alone. Alone is what I have. Alone protects me.”

Ishita blinked. “Was that from the BBC Sherlock series?”

Raman chuckled at the reference. “Out of everything I said, that’s what you got?”

“Raman, I’ll give you the same answer that John Watson gave Sherlock in that show. Wait, let me amend it a bit. Alone doesn’t protect you. Family protects you. How do you live life without trusting the people closest to you?”

“You’re right, Ishita. And I’m trying, believe me. But it’s hard to unlearn such defense mechanisms overnight, okay?”

“I understand,” she admitted.

In some part of her mind, Ishita knew that Raman had a hard time trusting people. Especially trusting people with his heart. But hearing him describe how alone he had been caused barbed wire to twist around her heart. This man hadn’t let his own family in for five years. Of course, he’s been doing things by himself. In that moment she realized that she had to offer Raman both time and space in order to trust again. Because when he finally did, it would be without abandon. All or nothing.

She looked over and saw Raman’s eyebrows furrow. He had let her witness some of his deepest insecurities and weaknesses. She owed him her truth now too. 

“Raman, I completely understand that it’s hard to unlearn the defense mechanisms that you’ve used to protect yourself, okay? In fact… I might have first-hand experience with it.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“I talked with Vandu Akka yesterday and she asked me so many eye-opening questions. She asked me why I was so doubtful in the first place, when you had clearly told me on the night of Ashok’s Diwali party itself that you would be talking with Shagun in the coming days. The truth is, I only had those doubts because I didn’t trust you either. Neither did I have the courage to ask you about it when the doubts did appear. I was so scared of everything slipping from my fingers. One moment you could have the world and the next… poof! Gone. One moment I had the dreams of a future with Subbu, of building our careers together, of having children and building a family, and the next…-” She snapped her fingers. “-I just lost it all.”

Raman grit his teeth to avoid showing on his face the primal jealousy that erupted in him at the mention of Subbu. Was this how Ishita felt whenever Shagun’s topic came up?

“But you know, Raman,” Ishita continued, “this family matters so much more to me. And the possibility of losing this family is a heck lot more painful. I already lost Ruhi once before we got married. I couldn’t face it again.”

Raman closed his eyes to process his wife’s revelation. He took a deep breath to steady his thoughts. He knew exactly what she meant. How fickle relationships could be and how easily you could lose everything you held dear to you.

“Ishita, you don’t ever have to be on edge about losing Ruhi again, okay? Regardless of our relationship, Ruhi will always be your child first. Then mine.” He focused his gaze on her and saw genuine surprise in her eyes. “I mean it, Madrasan. You are and will always be Ruhi’s first parent for me. Hell, I even look at Ruhi and see a mini-Ishita. She wants to be exactly like you, with the way she pretends to drape your sarees and wants to grow out her hair like you. I’ve even seen her check her dolls’ pulse with your stethoscope.”

Ishita gave out a genuine laugh and Raman’s heart doubled in size.

“She’s also like you too, you know,” she said. “I mean with how stubborn she is and how angry she gets and oh my god, her unbearable mood swings-”

“All right, point taken,” Raman muttered. 

“But you know, I just realized the gist of our problem,” Ishita said in a dead serious tone.

“What is that?”

“This whole miscommunication arose because neither of us trusted the other enough. If you trusted me enough to keep me in confidence or if I trusted you enough to ask and clear my doubts none of this would have happened.”

“You’re right. And I have a solution for us.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I propose a partnership.”

“A partnership?”

“Yes.”

“Raman, aap apni biwi se baat kar rahe hain, kisi investor se nahi. Why are you using business terms?” Ishita giggled. 

“Tumhein sunna hai ki nahin?” Raman scowled.

“Okay, sorry sorry. Boliye.”

Raman pressed the bridge of his nose and took a slow, deep breath. Here goes nothing, he thought. 

“We become partners. In every way. We communicate everything in our lives, regardless of whether it is related to Ruhi or not. This marriage isn’t just for Ruhi now, Ishita. Our lives, our families, everything is intertwined. So we really make this marriage work. I know we’re not looking for love and romance and all that stuff, but we need to trust each other and be each other’s partners if we want this marriage to work. Not just for Ruhi or our families, but for our own sake. If we keep a channel of open communication between us, then at least we’ll be able to trust each other.”

Ishita stared at him, stunned. He had managed to clear her doubts, assuage her fears, and solve their problems all in one strike. 

“Kuch to bol, Jhansi ki Rani?” 

Ishita looked away and wiped the sheen of tears that pricked her eyes. When she turned back towards Raman, she spoke with a small smile. 

“I think that’s a great idea. Partners. For real. For life.”

She extended her palm. Raman looked at it. Confused.

“Kya chahiye?”

“Aapne abhi abhi partnership propose ki hai na? Aren’t we going to shake on it?”

Raman laughed and closed his hand around Ishita’s palm, who tightened her fingers around his. They were indeed partners. For life. 

“So then,” Ishita began once they released their hands, “in the spirit of open communication, can I ask you some things?”

“Sure.” Raman leaned back and stretched his arms. “I’m an open book.”

“Adi se milne ka kya plan hai?”

Raman straightened his spine and crossed his arms. This was a serious discussion. 

“Shagun ne bola hai ki woh use Christmas break mein ghar laa rahi hain. I can meet him then. Aur koi details abhi tak work out nahi huyi hai.”

“Accha.”

Ishita bit her lower lip. Would it be worth it to tease him a little?

“And you’re sure you don’t have feelings for Shagun?” She pressed her lips together to avoid smiling.

Raman’s eyes went from serious to downright vexed. 

“Nahi meri maa! Ab kya stamp paper pe likh ke du?!” he bellowed. 

“Arey main to bas mazaak kar rahi thi!” Ishita replied, defensively. 

“Bahot bakwaas mazaak hota hai tumhara. Tumhare dialogue writer ko bolo thode acche punches likhe!”

“Kam se kam mera dialogue writer naye naye jokes to likhta hain. Aap to kitne mahino se bas usi topic pe atke hai, punjabi khaane mein sambhar masala and what not.”

Their banter and laughter continued all along their walk from the bench back to the entrance of their flat. Toshi and Madhu glanced at them from their respective houses, sighing with relief to see that all was well. 

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

AUTHOR’S NOTE

This has been the most difficult and most rewarding chapter to write so far (Chapter 32). Trying to find the right words to paint Raman and Ishita’s dilemma, fears, and weaknesses was much harder than I thought. I have gained so much respect for all my fellow writers, professional and otherwise. Coming back to the content at hand, as I promised, their misunderstanding wasn’t just for the heck of it. It wasn’t for drama or for lengthening the story. Because trust me, I already have too huge of a story. No, the purpose of the last few chapters was to get IshRa to at least acknowledge that their marriage was real. And the first step to making their marriage work was to trust each other. They are still a long way from being in love with each other the way they should be. But they have decided to make their marriage work. And the most important things to make a marriage or relationship work is trust and open communication (in my opinion). You could name any ITV track and I’ll bet that I could boil the problem down to improper communication and lack of trust. It happened with IshRa so many times after the time slot changed. I’m not letting that happen to my comfort characters here. 

This conversation of theirs is so close to my heart because I rarely see couples in ITV talk about their relationship or have conversations to better themselves and heal from trauma or heartache. They make mistakes (or blunders rather) and apologize just to make the same mistakes again. There is hardly any growth, much less conscious, intentioned growth, within characters. I wanted to show in my story that relationships grow and heal with conscious effort. Like how IshRa are doing here. 

And where else for them to have this heartfelt conversation than as a beloved bench talk?! I swear, IshRa’s bench talks from the accident track are like our fandom’s bread and butter. That track was the major turning point in their relationship in my opinion. The last few chapters were my take on the accident track and how I would have liked to see it resolved. Ishita and Raman aren’t quite in love yet, but they are each other’s partners, their rock. 

Thank you so much everyone for your continued support with this story. Keep the votes and comments coming in! I love you guys! ❤️❤️❤️