Patiala Babes Rewatch: Episodes 4 - 7 - Nothing Breaks Like a Heart - Page 3

Originally posted by: Sakurablossom

Bold1: A woman (rather let's say a girl) getting married at 17/18 and having a child at 18 can't be expected to become a pro at raising a child- mother herself is a child. Also age of 18-23-25 when we usually go to the college- somewhat start taking charge of our lives is extremely important for confidence. In my opinion this phase is where we turn from a child to an adult. Someone who gets married at this age loses a lot of experience that is pivotal for next phase. That clearly translates into babita's ideology, lack of self confidence and flat thinking. 

While I agree with almost all opinions Minnie had, there's a limit to how much you can do to change a person. Besides most of the times her way  of  convincing her conservative mother is preachy and in your face type- doesn't work most of the time.  Also if someone refuses to be empowered- you can't force them. Just let them be and focus on your own. If Minnie wants babita to accept and respect her opinions, she should do the same.  When babita became a whacko and started having weird ideas about Minnie's marriage and all- she could have involved Hanuman instead of fighting with babita directly- that's my opinion. . That could have been one easier way to contain babita's eccentric behavior- Hanuman would have never let her do such thing . Minnie loves open confrontation but many times getting your way without confrontation is better for both parties- especially when you are talking about your own family. 

  Underlined: If babita isn't smart enough to see through Minnie's fake smile then why can't Minnie just start speaking what she feels instead of expecting babita to become antaryami?  It's not an unreasonable thing to do actually. And I refuse to believe she ''always" understood - her whitewashing of misdeeds of Khuranas, saying that lovely dil ki buri nahi hai, choosing to be with Khuranas while her mother was getting married (probably the biggest moments of her mother's life) and her turning away from Hanuman Singh and lack of willingness to give him another chance after CD drama  for example.... 

 I'm still not able to understand her sudden transition from overenthusiastic  wedding planner of her mother's wedding to backward steps when Hanuman-babita are getting married.  She was asked about her opinion numerous times- if she had any problem she should have said then and there. What was the point of turning away from her parents when they were getting married?

I dint mean to say babita should have understood fake smile. I am not talking about the stage just pre marriage or after marriage. With babita she always had a habit of loosing sense and blaming people randomly. We have seen this from the begnning. No one really told her that she was hurting them with their words. Even mini just understood her everytime and said nothing. Getting angry and showing disappointment, disagreements is a part of every relationship. And I feel mini should have expressed very early on that babita is hurting her instead of just forgiving her. And this blame game by babita has ben going on even before the divorce happened. I could sense then itself that mini never shows disappointment and babita keeps slapping her blaming her for things, one day both mother daughter relation will have issues due to this. And it happened. What I dint know is that they would not get back by resolving their issues. The issue with keeping someone everytime above you, functioning only according to their emotions(which mini did before marriage. She was always about babes ke liye) dosent work out in the long run. I don't think that is a sign of a healthy relationship. One becomes too dependant and the emotions of the other person are drained out. There are lot of pent up issues underneath which will blow up one day. I always saw that coming between babita and Mini. 

Edited by naq5 - 4 years ago

Heyyy Guys!!! Where is everyone??? 😛

Originally posted by: LoveInAutumn26

Heyyy Guys!!! Where is everyone??? 😛

Hello😛

Originally posted by: MeghnaGhosh

Hello😛

Hiiii 😛... where is everyone?? Sorry I couldn't participate in this discussion 🤔

Originally posted by: LoveInAutumn26

Hiiii 😛... where is everyone?? Sorry I couldn't participate in this discussion 🤔

No worries at all!!sabka pata nahi yaar 😭 fir se sab silent mode pe chale gaye hai😆

After defaming them, assassinating their characters, the CVs gives dialogues like 'we are like Hanuman Uncle and Babes' for Arya' what a joke the show has become!! Arre bhai woh dono toh villains the na story ke, two most selfish characters that can ever exist, toh fir tumhare new leads ko un jaisa kyun banana hai bhai 🤔

p.s. not watching, just came across a written update and got mighty pissed off as always 😆

Originally posted by: naq5

It was always dysfunctional. since the start, I could see it from where babita asks mini not to ask ashok to take them with london even before he came, even when mini tell her that she ever got to be with her father ever. If you cannot put your child above your responsibility as a bahu and wife even when she is longing to be with her father it tells a lot. Babita always expected mini to toe her line down in wanting to be a good bahu or wife. A actual parent wouldnt do this with their child. they would keep the childs interest too.

Her blaming mini that she spoke about taking them to london  that is why ashok is angry and saying this. This is another instance of babitas impulsive blaming mini, which she has always done & must have done before too. It shows how babita looses sense when she is very upset or in emotions isnt able to think clearly and blames others. It happened even in the end when babita was angry & upset that mini was leaving. She was so occupied with mini leaving she lost sense & failed to provide mini a proper farewell which mini as a child so very much needed at that point.  She dint even see that mini was hurting too, but mini could see that babita was hurting. It shows the contrast between them & the dysfunction. Usually it is the child who behaves unreasonable and fails to see the parents emotion where as the parent sees and understands how the child is feeling even if it is not reasonable. I feel babita was never given a chance to grow up properly as an adult. Early marriage , early child at 18. She clearly Lacked understanding as a parent. Mini trying to be her mother dint help it further. And HS also treated babita like a child after marriage. Made things even more worse. 

Another thing, Mini always saw through this  kind of babitas behaviour and never got guilt tripped by babita not even in this scene. She was the one  who always understood but this blaming was one thing which led to their relationship breaking later in their lives. Had mini been vocal and showed her displeasure right from the start instead of mothering her, things would have been different. But she always understood without any grudges and suddenly just before marriage & after marriage mini could not take more of such behavior and ended up getting distant from babita.

Babita may have been wrong to ask Minnie to be quiet, but I don't think it took anything away from her being an actual parent. For seventeen long years, Babita was everything to her. Yes, Ashok was the father but he was always distant and was placed in a different box that came with it's own criterion that needed to be fulfilled. For Babita it was completely different. She not only had to be a mother, but at times had to step up and be the father as well as be the ideal daughter-in-law and wife. Let's not forget all these roles and the idealized requirements for all of them were instilled within her at a very young age. Being a proper daughter-in-law and wife were most likely valued and scrutinized more than her being a mother.

Completely agree! Babita never got the opportunity to express her opinions, or emotions fully. Due to this, she doesn't know how to articulate herself properly whilst under duress or even how to process what's going on with her. She just blurts out whatever comes to mind and then regrets it later (or not). What she needed the most post divorce was therapy so that she could learn and develop as she was supposed to. But alas, she never got that chance. 🤔

Agree once again. Letting it go once or twice fine. But not nipping it in the bud is what caused the later damages. It's parallel to what HS was trying to do with Minnie's anger. If it isn't handled at an early stage, it will pose troubles for her later on in life.

Originally posted by: naq5

Lack of respect was both ways. mini dint respect babita as a mother but loved her and protected her. Babita too failed to respect mini as a person and got caught up in her own duniya dari. calling her the other woman was was the worst of it. which actually pulled them apart and they never got back. As always babita spewed nonsense in her anger and lost sense but this time mini took it to heart. 

And mini has never learnt to respect elders as per what people standards. She was the one back answering lovely, standing up for babita against others. How does a child learn the standard rules of respecting elders when she has been doing all this since she was young. Mini was never going to be a proper child with good respect for elders. HS earned her respect. He stood up for her like a parent would and took her responsibility. He also treated her & her views with respect too. So she gave it back to him in the same way. 

@ bold. Because mini thought Babita had changed for the good. But babita was back to  being how she was before marriage. It was not like babita & mini dint have different opinions before. There was a lot of effort which mini too put in to make babita financially independent. Patiala babes was as much as her effort as was Babitas. Babita too simply dint respect that fact nor respected her own financial independence even after being through so much hardships. If mini tried to force her views on babita, babita too tried to force her views on her. the issue was both ways. In such cases usually the other parent steps in and draws boundaries, but HS stepped in when it was too late.

Also for babita minis dreams dint matter anymore, from telling her to apply for the university in delhi again after mini told her she dint make it, to completely not support her going to australia and asking her to do a computer course in patiala itself and get married shows she wanted mini just to keep her near and also show to people that she could successfully keep her family together. usually parents push their children to achieve their dreams but here babita never did that. maybe because she herself dint have career ambitions. 

I don't know who to fault when it comes to the lack of respect. Babita was 18 when she had Minnie so she probably just treated her as a friend. Her never objecting to being called Babes is a huge indicator of this. It also probably soothed Babita in knowing that she has someone with whom she can talk to since she never had any friends of her own. The Khuranas never said anything either as they doted on Minnie too much. The only person who could have taught her the importance of respect was Ashok, but he was never there.

I like Minnie's spunk and always standing up for what's right. However, that doesn't mean that you forget your manners and behave rudely with them. Least of all your own mother who had to suffer so much.

Babita under duress is absolutely horrible. She lets the anger get the best of her and she always ends up saying and doing things she later comes to regret. But even then she doesn't really apologize or realize what exactly her mistake was. She just says sorry so that they will start talking to her again.

I don't like talking about Babita post marriage because she seems completely alien to me. There are so many tracks that they revisited and basically retconned in order to halt her growth. In actuality, Babita would have grown past her old self and learnt how to deal with things in a better manner now that she had HS by her side. Revisiting the tracks would have been still acceptable to me, if they had shown a difference between Babita managing the responsibilities of both parents, and learning how to pass some of it off to her spouse.

But again, it was a wasted opportunity.

Originally posted by: MeghnaGhosh

@bold tell me about it 😭

Idk i didn't feel it after the divorce but obviously after the shaadi...we will never know whether it was all pre planned and the narrative was such or were Hanita suddenly made to look selfish and villanious right from their wedding due the obvious nepotism

I call BS on this whole thing being pre planned. The original storyline changed halfway through for some reason and it destroyed what was once really pure. They could have done and shown SO MUCH that would have really revolutionized ITV. Instead, we got nothing but shiny pebbles in the end. 🤔

Originally posted by: Sakurablossom

Bold1: A woman (rather let's say a girl) getting married at 17/18 and having a child at 18 can't be expected to become a pro at raising a child- mother herself is a child. Also age of 18-23-25 when we usually go to the college- somewhat start taking charge of our lives is extremely important for confidence. In my opinion this phase is where we turn from a child to an adult. Someone who gets married at this age loses a lot of experience that is pivotal for next phase. That clearly translates into babita's ideology, lack of self confidence and flat thinking. 

While I agree with almost all opinions Minnie had, there's a limit to how much you can do to change a person. Besides most of the times her way  of  convincing her conservative mother is preachy and in your face type- doesn't work most of the time.  Also if someone refuses to be empowered- you can't force them. Just let them be and focus on your own. If Minnie wants babita to accept and respect her opinions, she should do the same.  When babita became a whacko and started having weird ideas about Minnie's marriage and all- she could have involved Hanuman instead of fighting with babita directly- that's my opinion. . That could have been one easier way to contain babita's eccentric behavior- Hanuman would have never let her do such thing . Minnie loves open confrontation but many times getting your way without confrontation is better for both parties- especially when you are talking about your own family. 

  Underlined: If babita isn't smart enough to see through Minnie's fake smile then why can't Minnie just start speaking what she feels instead of expecting babita to become antaryami?  It's not an unreasonable thing to do actually. And I refuse to believe she ''always" understood - her whitewashing of misdeeds of Khuranas, saying that lovely dil ki buri nahi hai, choosing to be with Khuranas while her mother was getting married (probably the biggest moments of her mother's life) and her turning away from Hanuman Singh and lack of willingness to give him another chance after CD drama  for example.... 

 I'm still not able to understand her sudden transition from overenthusiastic  wedding planner of her mother's wedding to backward steps when Hanuman-babita are getting married.  She was asked about her opinion numerous times- if she had any problem she should have said then and there. What was the point of turning away from her parents when they were getting married?

This entire post 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽.

When it comes to these two women, I have opposing views on them. I find myself to be a lot more sympathetic towards Babita because of all the things she missed out on in her life. Thus, to see her journey in embracing all those moments and achievements, meant a huge deal for me.

Minne on the other hand, was the biggest drama queen. She had the tendency of escalating matters to the nth degree when they didn't need to (Babita did this too, but during and post marriage, it was all Minnie). Handling things in a more mature, and nuanced manner rather than upfront and confrontational could have been her growth. Again, this is where HS would have been great as despite being a police officer, he always used the path of non-violence and preferred to talk things out in a civil manner.

Ughhh, the potential and layered writing this show could have had!!