Patiala Babes Rewatch: Episodes 4 - 7 - Nothing Breaks Like a Heart - Page 2

Originally posted by: Sakurablossom

First of all take a bow for all the work you've done here. Seriously. I tried to watch episodes on sonyliv app but for some reason there's echo effect in every episode of PB- annoying as hell.

So I think rosy picture inside babita's head or her denial about Ashok's lack of interest in her was her coping mechanism for loneliness.  And when that illusion shattered she tried to escape the pain by ignoring the fact altogether. Which is actually very normal thing. 

The fact that Minnie recovered from shock much sooner than babita makes her a stronger person, although it doesn't mean babita is weak- she's normal, most people would need time to take grasp on the reality. Another factor I consider important here is babita's family has raised her conservatively, her in-laws favoured/praised her for being docile and obedient vs Minnie who is raised in a more liberal environment and allowed to express  feelings without fear of being judged or at least her carelessness about judgemental statements isn't frowned upon. 

I think your analysis about Minnie's speech behind curtains and Ashok overhearing that speech gives me more insight than I got from watching that scene.

 About meeta,  I could never hate her. Even in the intro of her character- she was a good person in messy situation.  It's just a shame how her character ended. The relationship arc between babita and meeta is the most unusual and intriguing in this show in my opinion. Even better than Hanuman- babita and babita-Minnie. Now that I pay attention I realize how much dysfunctional babita- Minnie's relationship is. I noticed that before as well but these episodes just take it to another level. Mother daughter being more like friends is a good idea but there has to be a boundary where friendship ends and parent-child relationship starts. That is totally missing here.

Thank you!

Because of the vast content in these episodes, I think I'm gonna limit it to two at a time. There is simply so much to get through and I feel like I wasn't able to give them their due time.

Babita definitely used it as a coping mechanism and you could see it during the few instances Minnie tried to poke holes at it. Whether it was the lipstick or the AC, Babita was literally rattled when these things were questioned. When she couldn't defend herself further, she merely shouted at Minnie as if that would end the matter once and for all. Unfortunately, Minnie was right to question Ashok's love for her. She should never have had to, but it was the right thing to do.

In that moment, I don't think Babita was weak. She acted in a way that most would have: angry, denial, heartbroken etc. Minnie who had her cry, knew she had to be the strong one otherwise her mom would be trampled all over.

Even later on, I don't think Minnie ever got to properly grieve over her loss. In episode six, she did it briefly when she mentioned how Ashok betrayed both of them, but it wasn't revisited. Once the revelation happened, Minnie's entire life literally began to surround her mother's. And this is where the imbalance in their relationship took place. Minnie giving Babes initial support is fine, but Babita really should have recovered enough to support Minnie in return. Instead, Babita began to rely on Minnie for most things when she should have comforted her, or at least checked in on her to see how she's doing emotionally and mentally.

Babita and Meeta definitely intrigued me, and I would have been curious to see how their relationship went forward, if it did at all. Meeta really was the Other in a lot of ways for Babita. She is completely fine with showing her skin whether it's in dresses or saris, she is definitely sensual since we have seen her be physical with Ashok. She is also very bold and honest, and never fails to demand for her rights. Definitely a professional woman as she has not only the education to back her up, but also the work experience. However, despite all these qualities, she has a very fcked up past that she overcame with the help of Ashok. I don't know how much counseling she got before him, or if she ended up becoming too dependent on him, but Meeta was strong. She stood firm in her decisions and completely owned them whether they were good or not.

Babita on the other hand, never had the opportunity to explore all these sides of her. She had an education but not the work experience to follow through. She has very simple tastes in dressing, but still feels a lack of confidence to carry them. She has her own wants and desires, but is always to afraid to voice them out loud. All these things were being slowly transformed and we would have gotten to see a full fruition of it with HS' help. But again, KK had other plans in mind. 🤔

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

Thank you!

Because of the vast content in these episodes, I think I'm gonna limit it to two at a time. There is simply so much to get through and I feel like I wasn't able to give them their due time.

Babita definitely used it as a coping mechanism and you could see it during the few instances Minnie tried to poke holes at it. Whether it was the lipstick or the AC, Babita was literally rattled when these things were questioned. When she couldn't defend herself further, she merely shouted at Minnie as if that would end the matter once and for all. Unfortunately, Minnie was right to question Ashok's love for her. She should never have had to, but it was the right thing to do.

In that moment, I don't think Babita was weak. She acted in a way that most would have: angry, denial, heartbroken etc. Minnie who had her cry, knew she had to be the strong one otherwise her mom would be trampled all over.

Even later on, I don't think Minnie ever got to properly grieve over her loss. In episode six, she did it briefly when she mentioned how Ashok betrayed both of them, but it wasn't revisited. Once the revelation happened, Minnie's entire life literally began to surround her mother's. And this is where the imbalance in their relationship took place. Minnie giving Babes initial support is fine, but Babita really should have recovered enough to support Minnie in return. Instead, Babita began to rely on Minnie for most things when she should have comforted her, or at least checked in on her to see how she's doing emotionally and mentally.

Babita and Meeta definitely intrigued me, and I would have been curious to see how their relationship went forward, if it did at all. Meeta really was the Other in a lot of ways for Babita. She is completely fine with showing her skin whether it's in dresses or saris, she is definitely sensual since we have seen her be physical with Ashok. She is also very bold and honest, and never fails to demand for her rights. Definitely a professional woman as she has not only the education to back her up, but also the work experience. However, despite all these qualities, she has a very fcked up past that she overcame with the help of Ashok. I don't know how much counseling she got before him, or if she ended up becoming too dependent on him, but Meeta was strong. She stood firm in her decisions and completely owned them whether they were good or not.

Babita on the other hand, never had the opportunity to explore all these sides of her. She had an education but not the work experience to follow through. She has very simple tastes in dressing, but still feels a lack of confidence to carry them. She has her own wants and desires, but is always to afraid to voice them out loud. All these things were being slowly transformed and we would have gotten to see a full fruition of it with HS' help. But again, KK had other plans in mind. 🤔

Agreed. If only babita Minnie's relationship were a bit balanced, not only it would have added a layer of complexity and realism but also a smoother storyline  later on(especially compared to bumpy ride we got at the end).

In order to make it on Mini further and focus on her they started their build up in showing the dependency rather than a independent Babita in true sense.... Beti ne ek hadd tak pankh dene the... Inhe to zameen par patakna hi tha pehle se hi... Hum hi shayad kuch aur dekh aur samajh rahe they

Originally posted by: _Reka_

I think Babita was already a broken personality before her wedding to Ashok, always pushed to confirm and don't question anything in order to be liked. She would have needed an awful lot of healing from Ashok already, but that didn't happen cause he simply wasn't around to do it. He seems to have played a healer role for Meeta though, bringing out the confident woman out of her, at least as long as they were in London. 

HS tried to do with Babita the same abd it all seemed well. But Babita ultimately failed understand that real strenght is not something you pack out from a cupboard when you need it and pack it away if you've got the feeling that someone else can be strong for you... As long  as she was divorced she could accept people talking easier, because even she herself would have judged another woman in that situation.

I don't know if I want to call her broken, but definitely incomplete. There were large chunks to her that should have been filled in through expereince but just never got the opportunity to do so. As for Ashok, there were some good qualities to him. After all, he didn't go to London with express purpose of entrapping Meeta. He was lonely in a foreign country, and found some solace in Meeta when he shouldn't have. Yes, he gets mad at her when she acts irrationally like coming to India without telling him, but he also truly cares for her as he continuously tries to convince her that he'll always choose her. He was ready to go against and abandon his entire family for this woman. Would he have done the same for Babita? Given the chance, probably.

I feel like Babita knows that in some ways but it was just hard for her to put it to practice simply because she never did it for pretty much her whole life. So when she does try to exemplify that strength, she goes about it in the wrong. For example, in the daaru scene she tried to  strengthen her relationship with HS but she exerted power in the wrong sense. Then, when the Imarti track came along shortly thereafter, it was the perfect opportunity to show her affections for him by supporting him unconditionally. Instead, she backed away and failed to show the strength she possesses. It happened with Minnie too. When the Manmeet case happened, Babita's first reaction was to not file the FIR and was adamantly against it. It took her some time to get around to it and see the benefits of it, rather than all the negatives.

Originally posted by: _Reka_

I think what was missing from the very beginning was respwct for Babita. Minnie wasn't respecting her efforts to be perfect any more than anyone else in tge Khurana household I guess. The story would have evolved into another direction if Minnie would have been the one not only loving but also respecting her as a parent. Instead, Minnie came to disrespect everyone. So when Babita wasn't doing as Minnie imagined she should, this lack of respect cane in the way of her loving Babita as a mom I guess.

And this is where the imbalance in their relationship comes from. Because Minnie treats Babita like her friend and not a mother, she doesn't have that respect for her as a parent. With Ashok, she had a certain level of respect simply because he was a stranger to her. But once the betrayal came forth, all that respect was gone. She has absolutely none for Lovely Bua and straight up tells her shit to her face, with Beeji and Dadu she maybe has some but that's only due to their age. Other than that, I guess there was HS whom she looked to as a mentor? Idk, as a whole, I feel like there aren't a lot of people that Minnie respects in her life.

Even post divorce, after everything Babita has gone through, one would think that this girl would've learnt to grown at least a little bit of respect for her but nope! If anything, she fought with her mother the most out of everyone else and continued to question every single aspect about Babita's life and simply ripped her apart. She simply could not bear the fact that Babita had her own set of opinions that completely differed from hers.

The fact that she couldn't respect her mother's pace at romance says everything about her. 😒 I mean, Babita JUST got out of a horrible divorce with a man whom she remained loyal to for almost twenty years of her life. OF COURSE she's gonna take things slow and not jump head first into things. But nooooo, Minnie rani ko toh sab kuch apne hisaab se chahiye tha. 🤔

Originally posted by: Resham

In order to make it on Mini further and focus on her they started their build up in showing the dependency rather than a independent Babita in true sense.... Beti ne ek hadd tak pankh dene the... Inhe to zameen par patakna hi tha pehle se hi... Hum hi shayad kuch aur dekh aur samajh rahe they

It truly does feel like that now. It's almost as if they were setting up a long game of making Minnie the Bechari but for some odd reason we all expected to see an Emancipated Babita. Dunno how we came to think of that... 🤔 Oh wait! It's because the show is called Patiala Babes, and Babita is also referred to as Babes and she's from Patiala, and the shop she owns is called Patiala Babes. Not to mention Minnie's entire monologue in the very first episode revolved around Babita to showcase the central role she's going to be playing in the show... but no, we're the dumb ones.

Originally posted by: Sakurablossom

First of all take a bow for all the work you've done here. Seriously. I tried to watch episodes on sonyliv app but for some reason there's echo effect in every episode of PB- annoying as hell.

So I think rosy picture inside babita's head or her denial about Ashok's lack of interest in her was her coping mechanism for loneliness.  And when that illusion shattered she tried to escape the pain by ignoring the fact altogether. Which is actually very normal thing. 

The fact that Minnie recovered from shock much sooner than babita makes her a stronger person, although it doesn't mean babita is weak- she's normal, most people would need time to take grasp on the reality. Another factor I consider important here is babita's family has raised her conservatively, her in-laws favoured/praised her for being docile and obedient vs Minnie who is raised in a more liberal environment and allowed to express  feelings without fear of being judged or at least her carelessness about judgemental statements isn't frowned upon. 

I think your analysis about Minnie's speech behind curtains and Ashok overhearing that speech gives me more insight than I got from watching that scene.

 About meeta,  I could never hate her. Even in the intro of her character- she was a good person in messy situation.  It's just a shame how her character ended. The relationship arc between babita and meeta is the most unusual and intriguing in this show in my opinion. Even better than Hanuman- babita and babita-Minnie. Now that I pay attention I realize how much dysfunctional babita- Minnie's relationship is. I noticed that before as well but these episodes just take it to another level. Mother daughter being more like friends is a good idea but there has to be a boundary where friendship ends and parent-child relationship starts. That is totally missing here.

It was always dysfunctional. since the start, I could see it from where babita asks mini not to ask ashok to take them with london even before he came, even when mini tell her that she ever got to be with her father ever. If you cannot put your child above your responsibility as a bahu and wife even when she is longing to be with her father it tells a lot. Babita always expected mini to toe her line down in wanting to be a good bahu or wife. A actual parent wouldnt do this with their child. they would keep the childs interest too.

Her blaming mini that she spoke about taking them to london  that is why ashok is angry and saying this. This is another instance of babitas impulsive blaming mini, which she has always done & must have done before too. It shows how babita looses sense when she is very upset or in emotions isnt able to think clearly and blames others. It happened even in the end when babita was angry & upset that mini was leaving. She was so occupied with mini leaving she lost sense & failed to provide mini a proper farewell which mini as a child so very much needed at that point.  She dint even see that mini was hurting too, but mini could see that babita was hurting. It shows the contrast between them & the dysfunction. Usually it is the child who behaves unreasonable and fails to see the parents emotion where as the parent sees and understands how the child is feeling even if it is not reasonable. I feel babita was never given a chance to grow up properly as an adult. Early marriage , early child at 18. She clearly Lacked understanding as a parent. Mini trying to be her mother dint help it further. And HS also treated babita like a child after marriage. Made things even more worse. 

Another thing, Mini always saw through this  kind of babitas behaviour and never got guilt tripped by babita not even in this scene. She was the one  who always understood but this blaming was one thing which led to their relationship breaking later in their lives. Had mini been vocal and showed her displeasure right from the start instead of mothering her, things would have been different. But she always understood without any grudges and suddenly just before marriage & after marriage mini could not take more of such behavior and ended up getting distant from babita. 

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

And this is where the imbalance in their relationship comes from. Because Minnie treats Babita like her friend and not a mother, she doesn't have that respect for her as a parent. With Ashok, she had a certain level of respect simply because he was a stranger to her. But once the betrayal came forth, all that respect was gone. She has absolutely none for Lovely Bua and straight up tells her shit to her face, with Beeji and Dadu she maybe has some but that's only due to their age. Other than that, I guess there was HS whom she looked to as a mentor? Idk, as a whole, I feel like there aren't a lot of people that Minnie respects in her life.

Even post divorce, after everything Babita has gone through, one would think that this girl would've learnt to grown at least a little bit of respect for her but nope! If anything, she fought with her mother the most out of everyone else and continued to question every single aspect about Babita's life and simply ripped her apart. She simply could not bear the fact that Babita had her own set of opinions that completely differed from hers.

The fact that she couldn't respect her mother's pace at romance says everything about her. 😒 I mean, Babita JUST got out of a horrible divorce with a man whom she remained loyal to for almost twenty years of her life. OF COURSE she's gonna take things slow and not jump head first into things. But nooooo, Minnie rani ko toh sab kuch apne hisaab se chahiye tha. 🤔

Lack of respect was both ways. mini dint respect babita as a mother but loved her and protected her. Babita too failed to respect mini as a person and got caught up in her own duniya dari. calling her the other woman was was the worst of it. which actually pulled them apart and they never got back. As always babita spewed nonsense in her anger and lost sense but this time mini took it to heart. 

And mini has never learnt to respect elders as per what people standards. She was the one back answering lovely, standing up for babita against others. How does a child learn the standard rules of respecting elders when she has been doing all this since she was young. Mini was never going to be a proper child with good respect for elders. HS earned her respect. He stood up for her like a parent would and took her responsibility. He also treated her & her views with respect too. So she gave it back to him in the same way. 

@ bold. Because mini thought Babita had changed for the good. But babita was back to  being how she was before marriage. It was not like babita & mini dint have different opinions before. There was a lot of effort which mini too put in to make babita financially independent. Patiala babes was as much as her effort as was Babitas. Babita too simply dint respect that fact nor respected her own financial independence even after being through so much hardships. If mini tried to force her views on babita, babita too tried to force her views on her. the issue was both ways. In such cases usually the other parent steps in and draws boundaries, but HS stepped in when it was too late.

Also for babita minis dreams dint matter anymore, from telling her to apply for the university in delhi again after mini told her she dint make it, to completely not support her going to australia and asking her to do a computer course in patiala itself and get married shows she wanted mini just to keep her near and also show to people that she could successfully keep her family together. usually parents push their children to achieve their dreams but here babita never did that. maybe because she herself dint have career ambitions. 

Edited by naq5 - 4 years ago

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

Thank you. 🤗

Oh gosh, hearing their dialogues and watching Hanita fall in love all over again is going to tear a new one. It'll be so tragic rather than hopeful now, which is something that I feel like was never supposed to be associated with them.

Minnie and Babes were something. There was an innocence in their relationship and the way Minnie used to see her mother. But after the divorce that love somehow warped into something ugly. By the end of it, she claimed that she loved her mom but I couldn't feel it. It was if that 'apnapan' that Minnie had once written in her diary was lost forever. I don't know if that's intentional but if it is then kudos to them cuz they delivered!

@bold tell me about it 😭

Idk i didn't feel it after the divorce but obviously after the shaadi...we will never know whether it was all pre planned and the narrative was such or were Hanita suddenly made to look selfish and villanious right from their wedding due the obvious nepotism

Originally posted by: naq5

It was always dysfunctional. since the start, I could see it from where babita asks mini not to ask ashok to take them with london even before he came, even when mini tell her that she ever got to be with her father ever. If you cannot put your child above your responsibility as a bahu and wife even when she is longing to be with her father it tells a lot. Babita always expected mini to toe her line down in wanting to be a good bahu or wife. A actual parent wouldnt do this with their child. they would keep the childs interest too.

Her blaming mini that she spoke about taking them to london  that is why ashok is angry and saying this. This is another instance of babitas impulsive blaming mini, which she has always done & must have done before too. It shows how babita looses sense when she is very upset or in emotions isnt able to think clearly and blames others. It happened even in the end when babita was angry & upset that mini was leaving. She was so occupied with mini leaving she lost sense & failed to provide mini a proper farewell which mini as a child so very much needed at that point.  She dint even see that mini was hurting too, but mini could see that babita was hurting. It shows the contrast between them & the dysfunction. Usually it is the child who behaves unreasonable and fails to see the parents emotion where as the parent sees and understands how the child is feeling even if it is not reasonable. I feel babita was never given a chance to grow up properly as an adult. Early marriage , early child at 18. She clearly Lacked understanding as a parent. Mini trying to be her mother dint help it further. And HS also treated babita like a child after marriage. Made things even more worse. 

Another thing, Mini always saw through this  kind of babitas behaviour and never got guilt tripped by babita not even in this scene. She was the one  who always understood but this blaming was one thing which led to their relationship breaking later in their lives. Had mini been vocal and showed her displeasure right from the start instead of mothering her, things would have been different. But she always understood without any grudges and suddenly just before marriage & after marriage mini could not take more of such behavior and ended up getting distant from babita. 

Bold1: A woman (rather let's say a girl) getting married at 17/18 and having a child at 18 can't be expected to become a pro at raising a child- mother herself is a child. Also age of 18-23-25 when we usually go to the college- somewhat start taking charge of our lives is extremely important for confidence. In my opinion this phase is where we turn from a child to an adult. Someone who gets married at this age loses a lot of experience that is pivotal for next phase. That clearly translates into babita's ideology, lack of self confidence and flat thinking. 

While I agree with almost all opinions Minnie had, there's a limit to how much you can do to change a person. Besides most of the times her way  of  convincing her conservative mother is preachy and in your face type- doesn't work most of the time.  Also if someone refuses to be empowered- you can't force them. Just let them be and focus on your own. If Minnie wants babita to accept and respect her opinions, she should do the same.  When babita became a whacko and started having weird ideas about Minnie's marriage and all- she could have involved Hanuman instead of fighting with babita directly- that's my opinion. . That could have been one easier way to contain babita's eccentric behavior- Hanuman would have never let her do such thing . Minnie loves open confrontation but many times getting your way without confrontation is better for both parties- especially when you are talking about your own family. 

  Underlined: If babita isn't smart enough to see through Minnie's fake smile then why can't Minnie just start speaking what she feels instead of expecting babita to become antaryami?  It's not an unreasonable thing to do actually. And I refuse to believe she ''always" understood - her whitewashing of misdeeds of Khuranas, saying that lovely dil ki buri nahi hai, choosing to be with Khuranas while her mother was getting married (probably the biggest moments of her mother's life) and her turning away from Hanuman Singh and lack of willingness to give him another chance after CD drama  for example.... 

 I'm still not able to understand her sudden transition from overenthusiastic  wedding planner of her mother's wedding to backward steps when Hanuman-babita are getting married.  She was asked about her opinion numerous times- if she had any problem she should have said then and there. What was the point of turning away from her parents when they were getting married?