Rape and Romance - Page 3

Originally posted by: zehreeli.kheer

In reality, couples do consummate even if there is no love between them.. although consummation has been romanticized quite a bit, the truth is that usually it's taken as part and parcel of marriage so you get to see couples obviously unhappy with each other having babies.. no one sleeps on sofa after their wedding in reality..

I accept that love is not required to have a physical relationship. Couples do the deed even when they don't like each other much but do they detest each other in the morning but continue sleeping together at night? I don't think so.

They accept their circumstances and move on reluctantly. My problem is with people who continue to dream of a future with someone else but still go ahead with consummation which is unacceptable to me.

Diyar e dil was very confusing to me in this perspective. Suhaib obviously didn't force Arjumand but why did she sleep with him? She absolutely hated him, didn't want to see his face, hated her circumstances, hated her life then why?

What kind of pressure can make a person give in? And then she was so disgusted to find herself pregnant. What else did she expect? Basic biology right.

Originally posted by: Carpe_diem

I accept that love is not required to have a physical relationship. Couples do the deed even when they don't like each other much but do they detest each other in the morning but continue sleeping together at night? I don't think so.

They accept their circumstances and move on reluctantly. My problem is with people who continue to dream of a future with someone else but still go ahead with consummation which is unacceptable to me.

Accepting the circumstances does not always mean that the person let's go of his dream future with someone else.. I mean, the person might have married with reluctance and continued to love someone else and yet sleep with their spouse.. it might sound unacceptable to you but that's the norm unfortunately.. consummation is considered one of the many duties of married couples towards one another with no love involved.. that's why arranged marriage couples are able to sleep together on their wedding night despite not knowing each other at all😆

As for diyar e Dil, they didn't really elaborate on it much but maybe the couple slept together once post wedding when Arjumand really wanted to give her marriage a chance but was unable to let go of her past.. and she did not expect to get pregnant after that one instance and was therefore horrified? Just a random guess

Originally posted by: zehreeli.kheer

Accepting the circumstances does not always mean that the person let's go of his dream future with someone else.. I mean, the person might have married with reluctance and continued to love someone else and yet sleep with their spouse.. it might sound unacceptable to you but that's the norm unfortunately.. consummation is considered one of the many duties of married couples towards one another with no love involved.. that's why arranged marriage couples are able to sleep together on their wedding night despite not knowing each other at all😆

Maybe I have blinders on but I want to continue living in my dreamland where people sleep together only when they love each other or have moved on with their new partner😆

Originally posted by: zehreeli.kheer

As for diyar e Dil, they didn't really elaborate on it much but maybe the couple slept together once post wedding when Arjumand really wanted to give her marriage a chance but was unable to let go of her past.. and she did not expect to get pregnant after that one instance and was therefore horrified? Just a random guess

Hmm, this theory is quite plausible.

dyar e dil it happened because she overheard what was expected of her and her husband and she hated the situation.

Consummation is unfortunately not at all romantic.Men expect their wives to do their duty and in whole world ,including west it is accepted norm.

romance is distant second in arranged marriages,its more adaat and many people do have dual loyalties,they continue to sleep with their partners and dream about their exes...

I understand consummation happening without love in real life especially with the lower strata. But in dramas you show these guys as "heroes", much educated, rightful, standing up for truth love wagerah wagerah but bedroom mein they have no control?? And it is not even shown as something wrong/awkward. And Especially when their wives get pregnant and then they mistreat the wife in the memories of his ex.

Din mein ex, raat mein sex. 😂😂😂

What do you think, how did women get pregnant in arranged marriages when they met their husband on their wedding night and popped out a child after nine months. It’s because Nikah is an agreement which man and woman ever with consent. The Qazi asks their consent in presence of witnesses, there’s no room for I didn’t know what I was getting into. After Nikah there is consummation. No one is that naive. Yes consent is needed if you aren’t in the mood, but men have the charm to patao and sweet talk to get sex. No one just jumps on his wife as soon as he locks the door . Lol

Originally posted by: -shabz-

What do you think, how did women get pregnant in arranged marriages when they met their husband on their wedding night and popped out a child after nine months. It’s because Nikah is an agreement which man and woman ever with consent. The Qazi asks their consent in presence of witnesses, there’s no room for I didn’t know what I was getting into. After Nikah there is consummation. No one is that naive. Yes consent is needed if you aren’t in the mood, but men have the charm to patao and sweet talk to get sex. No one just jumps on his wife as soon as he locks the door . Lol

True it happens but is that what is ideal? Marriage involves sexual intimacy but it also requires emotional compatibility. How were the men (and women) controlling their sexual urges before wedding, why is partner's comfort and readiness not considered...

Also, i think it is equivalent to marital rape if husband has sexual relationship with a wife he hates under the pretext of setting everything normal but the very ne t day he goes to abuse her and mistreat her. What kind of shallow man is he if he consummates with his wife but is shown as being in love with other girl... His lust wins over his love!

Originally posted by: stardust2011

True it happens but is that what is ideal? Marriage involves sexual intimacy but it also requires emotional compatibility. How were the men (and women) controlling their sexual urges before wedding, why is partner's comfort and readiness not considered...

Good point! After marriage, do their hormones go crazy and they can't control themselves😆

There can be nothing more fulfilling than a wholesome relationship where the couple at least like each other and there's some amount of trust and friendship.

What kind of a marriage is it, if the guy is not happy at all but enjoys sleeping with his wife and the wife is fine with the ill-treatment.

Originally posted by: stardust2011

True it happens but is that what is ideal? Marriage involves sexual intimacy but it also requires emotional compatibility. How were the men (and women) controlling their sexual urges before wedding, why is partner's comfort and readiness not considered...

Also, i think it is equivalent to marital rape if husband has sexual relationship with a wife he hates under the pretext of setting everything normal but the very ne t day he goes to abuse her and mistreat her. What kind of shallow man is he if he consummates with his wife but is shown as being in love with other girl... His lust wins over his love!

if emotional compatibility was a requirement for sex then ppl will not have one night stands. You will often hear cheaters saying it was just sex and nothing more.

They control their urges because they are not bound by Nikah, nikah is a religious duty after which you fullfill the rights of husban/wife, that incudes consummation. Sex is a right of the husband and wife. So if husband stays away from wife after saying yes to nikah, hes robbing the wife of her right and becomes sinful. You cant commit to Nikah and then stay away.....either be a man/woman and not do the nikah.

Not looking for arguements, just tried to explain my opinion. 😊