Rape and Romance - Page 2

Great discussion!

Beyond this what I have trouble with is that they will show explicit scenes of a woman being beaten but not many signs of healthy intimacy.

It’s as if it’s okay to show a woman being touched in violence but not in love and affection.

Going into a relationship most kids would have only seen examples of violence but not a good touch on tv.

Because it’s not okay to touch, kiss and hug in front of your kids.

I know I am generalizing here but it’s true for the most part in our south Asian homes.

Originally posted by: Carpe_diem

You have brought up a good point. How do people consummate when they are in love with someone else? Are they trying to show that it is impossible to stay away from your spouse even if you despise him/her? What kind of character development is that? When people do that I wonder if they ever loved their 'true love' or not.

For all it's faults, at least in Indian dramas the line is drawn. If either of the leads is unhappy with the marriage, they do not consummate. And when they do it is with consent, happiness and willingness.

Mostly the first intimacy takes place between them (case: husband isnt fond of wife) if the woman is dolled up and the man´s lust kicks in and for short while hes romantic/loving towards her and the silly woman gives in (silly because of the split second change in her husband she didnt even use contraception- given pregnancy news follows shortly).

I am not sure yet wether to consider such kind of consumption as marital rape too or not, as the way "foreplay " ( pakistani audience friendly" starts atleast he wouldnt have raped her during main act either. However after such kind of consumption I demand atleast from now on that the husband gives the wife decent amount of respect outside of intimacy/bedroom. I 😡😡😡 when he doesnt.

Or the onsumption takes place after their "true love" is married off or gives birth, in order to try and start new life/ forget old love. Here too I demand from the husband to give wife a certain kind of decent place in his life and not treat her like garbage etc.

Originally posted by: awida

There are many other dramas which dealed with the same topic : rape. Some of them even ended with the heroine forgiving her rapist , such as Bekhudi , starring the Indian actress: Sara Khan and Noor Hassan. 😊 I feel none of those dramas dealed with rape in a realistic way ..they use it as a way to attract viewers and get high ratings. I never watched something like Ruswai which made me really feel for the lead female. 😭 her journey is shown in a realistic way.

As for the intimacy between leads and showing the married couple having sweet moments after their wedding night. It happened in some of them like: Aatish, and Do Bol (after the consumation)😳 sometimes we see a hug scene in the precap of the next epi, but it gets cut in the episode. I remember this happining in Aap Key Liye.😕 But many of Pakistani dramas show hug scenes nowadays.😃

When did consumption take place in Do Bol? I didnt see/feel any indicators. I always thought marriage consumption took place in last few sec of drama

Originally posted by: ShellJA

It’s as if it’s okay to show a woman being touched in violence but not in love and affection.

Excellent point!

How many shows have we seen where the woman is hit and the scene doesn't fade away but is shown blatantly and openly? Answer : Sadly, too many

Originally posted by: Prinzessin1

Mostly the first intimacy takes place between them (case: husband isnt fond of wife) if the woman is dolled up and the man´s lust kicks in and for short while hes romantic/loving towards her and the silly woman gives in (silly because of the split second change in her husband she didnt even use contraception- given pregnancy news follows shortly).

I am not sure yet wether to consider such kind of consumption as marital rape too or not, as the way "foreplay " ( pakistani audience friendly" starts atleast he wouldnt have raped her during main act either. However after such kind of consumption I demand atleast from now on that the husband gives the wife decent amount of respect outside of intimacy/bedroom. I 😡😡😡 when he doesnt.

Or the onsumption takes place after their "true love" is married off or gives birth, in order to try and start new life/ forget old love. Here too I demand from the husband to give wife a certain kind of decent place in his life and not treat her like garbage etc.

Well, if lust does kick in, it doesn't give the husband the right to mistreat her in general but enjoy the perks of marriage in private.

If you're willing to forget your "true love" for those few moments of lust with your unwanted wife then be a man and take responsibility of your actions and give your wife the kind of love and life that she deserves.

Originally posted by: Prinzessin1

When did consumption take place in Do Bol? I didnt see/feel any indicators. I always thought marriage consumption took place in last few sec of drama

Oh , I forgot.😲 That scene when she rest her head on his shoulder was after their reunion, not consumation.😳

Originally posted by: stardust2011

Rapist turning love of the life is beyond sick, to me. Be it Bekhudi, Bashar Momin, Zakhm etc, i don't know how they show it is acceptable and normal for girls to forgive and fall in love with her rapist.

And when you complain about dramas not showing initimacy between couples, i have a bigger concern when they show how a non- consensual or forced relationship, suddenly ends in pregnancy or baby. I am like dude you weren't even happy being marrird to each other and now u are having a baby??😱

Like in Basher Momin, how bashar's sister and Buland get pregnant while Buland is still in love with Rudaba and is yearning for her. I can't remember other dramas on top of my head but i swear i have seen plentiful.

also daneen and anya

In reality, couples do consummate even if there is no love between them.. although consummation has been romanticized quite a bit, the truth is that usually it's taken as part and parcel of marriage so you get to see couples obviously unhappy with each other having babies.. no one sleeps on sofa after their wedding in reality..

That said, marital rape sadly is not taken seriously in Pak dramas which is a pity..

Bekhudi I don't think should be counted though.. the girl did not know she was married to her rapist for years and thus lived a happily married life with him.. the scars of the rape were somehow lightened by the time she found out.. and the guy did not really get to live with her happily post the revelation.. that's a plus

On the other hand, shows like Bashar Momin and Silsilay trivialized marital rape like no other

Originally posted by: zehreeli.kheer

In reality, couples do consummate even if there is no love between them.. although consummation has been romanticized quite a bit, the truth is that usually it's taken as part and parcel of marriage so you get to see couples obviously unhappy with each other having babies.. no one sleeps on sofa after their wedding in reality..

That said, marital rape sadly is not taken seriously in Pak dramas which is a pity..

Bekhudi I don't think should be counted though.. the girl did not know she was married to her rapist for years and thus lived a happily married life with him.. the scars of the rape were somehow lightened by the time she found out.. and the guy did not really get to live with her happily post the revelation.. that's a plus

On the other hand, shows like Bashar Momin and Silsilay trivialized marital rape like no other

but I am liking the sofa system in dramas, hoping it would inspire other couples especially husbands in real life, not to jump for consumption for the sake of it.

Also my respect for the that drama husband rises immensely who even after many months of wedding still doesnt force the wife for consumption (mere charagar, zid).

Originally posted by: Prinzessin1

but I am liking the sofa system in dramas, hoping it would inspire other couples especially husbands in real life, not to jump for consumption for the sake of it.

Also my respect for the that drama husband rises immensely who even after many months of wedding still doesnt force the wife for consumption (mere charagar, zid).

I don't think in dramas where there is no love between couples, there is any force involved.. As i said, its taken as a natural flow of things.. it's usually consensual.. the dramas where force is involved trivialize marital rape which is wrong..