Rape and Romance

This is a 2 fold topic.

1. Why do so many pakistani dramas have rape as a plot/sub-plot? Dramas like Ruswai/Mora piya deal primarily with the survivor's journey and that is fine but there are other shows where there is absolutely no need to include rape into the storyline. I was just watching Ranjha Ranjha kardi and the marital rape put me off the entire drama. It had a promising start where the girl wants to have a better future and ended up being something completely different. What was the need to have those 2 rape scenes? Bashar Momin is another show where the lead is glorified so much but he forced himself upon the girl. I'm sure there are other shows too.

2. When I started watching Pakistani dramas, it was difficult to accept the lack of intimacy. I couldn't comprehend how the lead couple was in love without a hug/kiss/romance. I blame Indian tv shows/books for this. But now, it is absolutely fine. I've watched my fair share of shows and I've learned to find love in the way they look at each other/ hold hands etc. Now my question is, if it is acceptable to show rape in the form of disheveled look of the girl then why is it so wrong to show the morning after the wedding night? It's a happy occasion and there should be no harm in showing small hints of intimacy, right?

I have absolutely no intention of offending anyone. There are questions that I'm genuinely confused about.

There are many other dramas which dealed with the same topic : rape. Some of them even ended with the heroine forgiving her rapist , such as Bekhudi , starring the Indian actress: Sara Khan and Noor Hassan. 😊 I feel none of those dramas dealed with rape in a realistic way ..they use it as a way to attract viewers and get high ratings. I never watched something like Ruswai which made me really feel for the lead female. 😭 her journey is shown in a realistic way.

As for the intimacy between leads and showing the married couple having sweet moments after their wedding night. It happened in some of them like: Aatish, and Do Bol (after the consumation)😳 sometimes we see a hug scene in the precap of the next epi, but it gets cut in the episode. I remember this happining in Aap Key Liye.😕 But many of Pakistani dramas show hug scenes nowadays.😃

Other intimacy indicators are:

- couple sleeping on same bed (if at start of marriage they werent)

- if husband or wife wouldnt even brush shoulders with each other suddenly are ok with giving/receiving physical contact (holding/grabbing hands, touch shoulder or arm without hesitation, feed each other)

-husband suddenly calling his wife tum (when in beginning he used to call her with aap only).

-wife/husband combing wet hair in morning and is in good spirit

-romantic talk in morning by bed (when before route life would start straight after waking up)

-girl starts married life in simple look but suddenly glams up

etc

Its rare that one doesnt find out wether a couple has consumated their marriage/ intimacy takes place or not. Usually I am satisfied with the used indicators used in pakistani dramas. But I also get irritated when they leave viewers hanging wether relationship has progressed in that direction or not. As no doubt (no) intimacy plays a huge factor of a true happy/sad married life

Rapist turning love of the life is beyond sick, to me. Be it Bekhudi, Bashar Momin, Zakhm etc, i don't know how they show it is acceptable and normal for girls to forgive and fall in love with her rapist.

And when you complain about dramas not showing initimacy between couples, i have a bigger concern when they show how a non- consensual or forced relationship, suddenly ends in pregnancy or baby. I am like dude you weren't even happy being marrird to each other and now u are having a baby??😱

Like in Basher Momin, how bashar's sister and Buland get pregnant while Buland is still in love with Rudaba and is yearning for her. I can't remember other dramas on top of my head but i swear i have seen plentiful.

Mostly because Pakistani dramas are aimed for families, and the pakistani audience is still pretty conservative, PDA is not the norm

Like someone said, sharing bed means consummation, sleeping on sofa means not😆

The Pakistani audience mostly doesnt believe in Marital rape, once married everything is Jaaiz. The awareness is slowly coming but it is still not believed as rape, even though the religion teaches best manners with spouse,be romantic, help in chores, but somehow Muslims have forgotten the teacings. If I discussedwith my grand ma about marital rape she would look at me as I am an alien.

I remember watching Bollywood movies growing up and one person sat with the remote, FF anything from Rape scenes to very intimate love songs, and I am not talking about the Imran hashmi movies Lol I am talking about 80's and 90's movies, which had two flowers kissing when they showed kissing😆. Zeenat Aman movies were not allowed in our house🤣

Originally posted by: stardust2011

Rapist turning love of the life is beyond sick, to me. Be it Bekhudi, Bashar Momin, Zakhm etc, i don't know how they show it is acceptable and normal for girls to forgive and fall in love with her rapist.

And when you complain about dramas not showing initimacy between couples, i have a bigger concern when they show how a non- consensual or forced relationship, suddenly ends in pregnancy or baby. I am like dude you weren't even happy being marrird to each other and now u are having a baby??😱

Like in Basher Momin, how bashar's sister and Buland get pregnant while Buland is still in love with Rudaba and is yearning for her. I can't remember other dramas on top of my head but i swear i have seen plentiful.

I agree with you. 😊 Rabists can repend but the damage has happened. Also in Muqabil the girl married her rapist's son.😲 that was the most illogical thing I've ever witnessed in dramas , yet I enjoyed watching this drama.😆

In Koyi Chaand Rakh too the showed Ayeza having Imran's baby , and everybody was shocked because he was in love with her cousin even before he married her.🤓

Originally posted by: awida

As for the intimacy between leads and showing the married couple having sweet moments after their wedding night. It happened in some of them like: Aatish, and Do Bol (after the consumation)😳 sometimes we see a hug scene in the precap of the next epi, but it gets cut in the episode. I remember this happining in Aap Key Liye.😕 But many of Pakistani dramas show hug scenes nowadays.😃

Hug scenes are shown now but they are often in distress, for example the hug in Daam.

I feel it's high time to include a casual hug or a forehead kiss and makers should not worry about showing such scenes. It's so common nowadays that not showing anything looks more abnormal

Originally posted by: Prinzessin1

Other intimacy indicators are:

- couple sleeping on same bed (if at start of marriage they werent)

- if husband or wife wouldnt even brush shoulders with each other suddenly are ok with giving/receiving physical contact (holding/grabbing hands, touch shoulder or arm without hesitation, feed each other)

-husband suddenly calling his wife tum (when in beginning he used to call her with aap only).

-wife/husband combing wet hair in morning and is in good spirit

-romantic talk in morning by bed (when before route life would start straight after waking up)

-girl starts married life in simple look but suddenly glams up

etc

Its rare that one doesnt find out wether a couple has consumated their marriage/ intimacy takes place or not. Usually I am satisfied with the used indicators used in pakistani dramas. But I also get irritated when they leave viewers hanging wether relationship has progressed in that direction or not. As no doubt (no) intimacy plays a huge factor of a true happy/sad married life

I've learned to recognise the signs that you've mentioned. My issue is when the makers are comfortable talking about rape and showing rape indicators why do they hesitate to show intimacy between a married couple who is happy. Why is it so offensive to show them hug happily or kiss on the cheek/forehead?

Originally posted by: stardust2011

Rapist turning love of the life is beyond sick, to me. Be it Bekhudi, Bashar Momin, Zakhm etc, i don't know how they show it is acceptable and normal for girls to forgive and fall in love with her rapist.

And when you complain about dramas not showing initimacy between couples, i have a bigger concern when they show how a non- consensual or forced relationship, suddenly ends in pregnancy or baby. I am like dude you weren't even happy being marrird to each other and now u are having a baby??😱

Like in Basher Momin, how bashar's sister and Buland get pregnant while Buland is still in love with Rudaba and is yearning for her. I can't remember other dramas on top of my head but i swear i have seen plentiful.

You have brought up a good point. How do people consummate when they are in love with someone else? Are they trying to show that it is impossible to stay away from your spouse even if you despise him/her? What kind of character development is that? When people do that I wonder if they ever loved their 'true love' or not.

For all it's faults, at least in Indian dramas the line is drawn. If either of the leads is unhappy with the marriage, they do not consummate. And when they do it is with consent, happiness and willingness.

Originally posted by: -shabz-

Mostly because Pakistani dramas are aimed for families, and the pakistani audience is still pretty conservative, PDA is not the norm

Like someone said, sharing bed means consummation, sleeping on sofa means not😆

The Pakistani audience mostly doesnt believe in Marital rape, once married everything is Jaaiz. The awareness is slowly coming but it is still not believed as rape, even though the religion teaches best manners with spouse,be romantic, help in chores, but somehow Muslims have forgotten the teacings. If I discussedwith my grand ma about marital rape she would look at me as I am an alien.

I remember watching Bollywood movies growing up and one person sat with the remote, FF anything from Rape scenes to very intimate love songs, and I am not talking about the Imran hashmi movies Lol I am talking about 80's and 90's movies, which had two flowers kissing when they showed kissing😆. Zeenat Aman movies were not allowed in our house🤣

I get what you're saying. In my house also we are /were uncomfortable watching intimate scenes on TV when the whole family is present but of course the level of intimacy is different. We did not FF for 2 flowers kissing😆but love making/real kissing scenes were definitely FFed. But times have changed, don't you agree? We have access to so many cultures now. We watch Netflix, Indian shows, regional shows, Pakistani shows, Turkish, Korean dramas and what not.

So, without losing their essence I think Pakistani dramas can evolve by showing that is okay to show love between a happily married couple. And by love I'm not talking about hand holding, staring into each other's eyes. A little more than that because I find it ridiculous to see them happy but with distance between them, in love but with no physical interaction at all. It's not realistic.