Chapter Three
Abir got down at the lakeside, breathless with anticipation. He hadn't been here since the day he'd broken up with Mishti. He didn't believe he deserved the solace this place used to offer him anymore. He also strongly suspected he wouldn't find any peace here now, because all he would remember would be how he looked Mishti in the eye and told her he didn't love her anymore, and how he pulled the locket out of her neck, physically hurting her.
Unconsciously, his fingers went up to the right side of his own neck and found that patch of imperfect skin. Shortly after that day, Abir had been in the kitchen, cooking khichdi to distract himself when there was a mishap and rice had ended up all over the kitchen. Some of that scalding hot rice had found its way onto Abir, and ended up scathing parts of his skin, that small patch of his neck being one of them. He supposed it was God's way of repaying what he'd done to Mishti, which is why he refused to apply any ointment on that part of his body, letting it burn and ache.
Pushing the thoughts of what had transpired on this lakeside that day, and in the days after that, he got down from his jeep. The air seemed to be thick with anticipation. Somehow, Abir just knew that somehow, his entire life was about to change. Again. He didn't know if it would be a welcome change or not, but he knew it would be drastic.
He could even feel Mishti's presence around him, which he knew wasn't possible. After everything, her coming here would have several connotations that he didn't really want to think about and get his hopes up. After the way he'd treated her, he didn't deserve her. He didn't think he'd deserve her if he apologized for the rest of his life. What he'd done was unforgivable and he didn't want Mishti to forgive him. Never. He deserved to spend his life pining after her and craving her love. She deserved a life partner who would be able to stand up for his love.
Abir took measured steps leading up to the lake, savouring each moment. He remembered the countless moments he'd spent here with Mishti. The first time she'd stumbled upon his haven and had made him smile, the second time she'd purposely come there to lend him a shoulder and be a friend, the third time he'd tricked her into coming there for their date, the fourth time she'd been here when he'd had his father arrested, the fifth time she'd given him confidence when he'd lost faith in himself.
Suno? Kuch nahi. Jao!
Tum… Bohot awesome ho.
Sirf date ke liye na kaha tha. Zindagi bharke liye toh haan kaha tha na.
Aaj Mishti ke kehne se main rukk gaya.
Main tumhe deserve hi nahi karta.
He remembered all the things he'd told her in this very place. And then, he remembered the sixth time she'd been here, begging for him to reconsider, and how he'd broken her heart as if it was just a toy. Abir had never loathed himself more than he did in that moment. He hated who he'd become in those few minutes. He'd become someone who lied, who broke promises, who hurt the person he loved most in the world. In short, he'd become the kind of person he'd never wanted to be, not even on his worst days.
Dil ne chugli kardi, Ajeeb Rajvansh… Kyuki main tumse pyaar karti hu… Angry Chorni toh main thi, lekin jaib meri kat gayi…
On and on it went. Her words echoed in his mind. How he could be so ruthless, and to the love of his life no less, was a mystery to him. He couldn't understand what frame of mind he'd been in that day, to have done all that. Yes, protecting his Nanko was important, but at the cost of Mishti? At the cost of breaking her the way he did? Never. He hated himself for what he'd done. He supposed he always would. No matter what happened, that day would stand out as the darkest day in the existence of Abir Rajvansh and everything he stood for.
Sighing, he rubbed his face. He was going to remember all his happy moments with Mishti and celebrate his khushkismati at having been loved by her, so completely, so wholly, so ardently, for no matter how short a time. Today would be all about his Angry Chorni’s unadulterated love for him. He had his entire life to remember The Worst Day. He wouldn’t do that today. Not on the day they were supposed to have gotten married.
He stopped short when he reached his desired destination. What else could he do but stand there, awestruck and dazed? She was here. Mishti was here. She was sitting just a few feet away from him. She was sitting on the same bench they’d sat on pn their date and slurped on coconut waters.
His heart started beating in overdrive at the mere sight of her, from a distance, when she wasn’t even facing him. He stood rooted to the spot, unsure of what to do, what to say. Not wanting to move in case it was yet another figment of his imagination that would disappear if he so much as breathed loudly.
And then, suddenly, as if sensing his presence, she stood up, and turned around. And, his heart broke. It shattered into a million pieces, worse than the day he’d broken up with her. He felt as if he would die on the spot. Guilt, anger, pain, sadness. That’s all he could feel. The weight of his emotions overwhelmed him and he fell to his knees in front of her, his hands joined in prayer and apology.
Because, yes, the woman standing in front of him might not have been his Angry Chorni, not without her chashma, but she was Mishti, his Mishti no matter who she tried to become and she was crying, most likely because of him, and he needed to apologize to Mishti at least a million times before he was even fit to stand before her and look her in the eye.
Mishti stood there stunned, flabbergasted at seeing Abir on his knees in front of her. She couldn’t believe he was in front of her. It was as if she’d wished him into being here. But, this man was still not her Abir, now more than before. Gone were those silky long tresses, as was the casual wardrobe. Mishti would have been okay with that, but those aviators, they broke her heart. It was clear that Abir was trying to hide himself from the rest of the world. She hated that.
She hated that both their lives had seemingly reduced to an act, trying to convince the world that they were fine, when they were anything but. Why did this happen to them? Why was it that they always had to be the ones to be deprived of happiness because of someone else’s schemes and plans and goals? Why was is always them who had to pay the price for someone else’s misgivings? Why them?
Slowly, carefully, Mishti walked up to Abir and sat down before him, unable to see him this way - so broken, so pained.
"Abir," she whispered softly, afraid that she'd scare him if she spoke louder.
Abir looked at her, and even through his shades, she could see that his eyes were swollen and red. A continuous stream of tears falling from his eyes, his mouth set in a frown, his shoulders hunched - he was the epitome of a broken man.
In Mishti, Abir could see traces of his Angry Chorni still, but her eyes and nose were red with the continuous crying she seemed to have, her fingers were shaking as she slowly brought her hand up and towards him, wanting to touch him?
"Mishti," he replied, just as softly. And then, the most amazing thing happened. Abir was greeted with a smile. A real smile. It wasn't the huge, happy smile he was used to receiving from Mishti, no. It was small, hesitant, more like an automatic reaction to someone calling her name and her acknowledging it, but it was there.
They both just stared at each other, unblinking. For the first time in two months, things felt different. Happier, even if bleak. They truly just needed each other's presence to feel better. Nothing else. No one else. And irrespective of what might happen in the future, they both knew that this moment would always be something they'd cherish. And for now, that was enough.
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And they finally meet! Hurray! Hope this lived up to your expectations! :D
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