Rain drops trailing down the window. Mumbai has been under a terrible weather for the past few days.
“Lagta hein ki mausam badalne waale hein.warna sepetember mein iss tarha mausam kahaan....”
he sighed remembering her words,which came to his mind suddenly. that was at the church on the night he blamed her shamelessly for making him forget raima’s birthday,yet she chose to come correct the mistake which was not even hers at the first place. She looked hurt that night,well most of the time she has been with him he has made her hurt only. After all he was the only thing he was always good at.he thought.
The patterns on the window glass made it look like it is shattered,just like him right now. The only difference was that he actually was.He has been spending his time for few days here in his room every night.He could have chosen to stay overnight at the hospital,but her memories were haunting him inside his cabin. He couldn’t make up his mind to be there all the time so he woke up before everyone at home every morning to leave to hospital and be in theatre all the time and come back at night and hide himself here to avoid contacts with everyone possible.
There too,he has not been able to do it fully. Raima who has been living in sippy mansion now, has made it a habit to come see him and hover over him with her love and intimacy which he had been ignoring and rejecting all the while. But the girl wouldn’t just stop. Given the fact that she recently recovered,he couldn’t strain her or hurt her straight away,but similarly he despised having her around. Raima sengupta was not the one he loved or yearned.not anymore. Well,she never has been the one.
His the one has left him,broken and breaking him too.
“Sonakshi...” the name of her that his mind yearned,unconsciously escaped his lips voiced out. I wish you were here to hear me. He thought.
She was beautiful. Her eyes were captivating and no eyes ever had made this cardiothorasic surgeon to have an irregularly beating heart against his ribs,except hers. She had so much of depth in them, a depth he wanted to get lost in.Her smile could effortlessly take his dull moods away, and her talks always always always made him smile alone. Right now whenever he thought about her, he felt his heart tightening and his chest burned in a sensation of loosing. This pain will never be a one to recover from,he was so sure.
Lying on the bed and still staring at those raindrops flowing down, He tucked his knees to his chest and took a deep sigh. Who knew that they were meant to be together for a while only? He needed a forever with her and this is what they ended up with. Those days that he was with her,he was so happy.so damn happy but now,he had her nowhere near him. What would she be doing now? Is she in her room,lying on her bed among those fan-sent pillows and cuddling to that yellow bear with a red shirt, Pooh or something? Or is she in her green room, clad in a saree and having rollers in her hair and getting ready for the next shot? Kambhakat Ravi is luckier than me, he can at least go see sunita and will definitely get a chance to see her too. Or is she already giving a shot in KPK infront of the camera,would that useless sumit be there next to her. Kahin parishaan toh nahi karta hoga naa usse? jaan lelunga saale ki.Or is she seated alone in the garden they mutually liked to be in,whenever they were troubled?Last two times I was there with her,ek baar toh jhonny the weird dog made us meet and the next time mhatre’s fiasco.but jo bhi hua tha, iss se behetar toh ta. Would she be missing me? At least a bit? At least by a mistake? At least at a heartbeat?
Life had been always gifting him misery,and destiny has been taking him for a mockery. Soankshi rastogi was all what he wanted and that is exactly what was looted from him,in a very brutal manner. He remembered how he proposed her,how she laughed among tears while reciprocating the feelings to him and few wonderful moments they spent in each other’s presence and warmth. then raima came back to them out of the blue and in a moment everything crashed down. Had he known that her return will be making such a drastic downfall in life,he would have of course wished for her recovery but not for her return,not when he had everything in his life with sonakshi in it.
Everything.
“Mujhe kuch nahi chaiye,sab kuch hein mere paas.”
He remembered how he replied her during Ganapati Visarjan. She let him ask from God for what he needed,but that has been his reply.now he realized why he unattentively said that, it’s because he had her with him. There he forgot he even wanted to see raima, or have her close to him, oh heck he has not been wanting anything else,than his sonakshi. His everything.
That night,They have been celebrating mom’s birthday,their first celebration as real lovers,trying to steal glances of each other and then trying to be alone in their world stealithly from the family.and there came raima,totally unexpected and everyone including them two were left shocked.she blamed sonakshi for her accident that happened four years ago. She was still very vulnerable and fatigue and ended up passing out in his arms,leaving him not option than to take her under his immediate medical care inside his house. Regaining back her senses she explained how sonakshi hit her from her car in the middle of the road and left her injured to die. Sonakshi kept on asking her to give one chance to disclose the reality but he was stuck in the middle of his past and present.he had to pretend to believe what raima said,unfortunately because he had no chance in hand to take a risk with raima’s fluctuating condition. Sonakshi left from there,pretty broken at heart and trust both.
The only secret sonakshi had no idea about was that rohit later told raima that he cannot believe that sonakshi would do something like that. There raima blamed him to be lured by the television actress. Rohit was frustrated, he wanted to scream at her and tell her off that his sona didn’t lure him but instead loved him from all her being,but his hands were tied. Few days later, sonakshi returned to sippy mansion with her lawyer,police and karan her ex fiancé. There she revealed that, four years ago on that night karan has assaulted her and was running away and she had followed him in her car.in the hurry he had hit a boy on the road by his car and raima has been the only one to eye witness that. He has wanted not to have any witness so chosen to kill off raima too.just as he hit raima by his car,sonakshi has reached that spot. She has come to rescue raima but even before she saw her,Karan has dragged her away and in the injured and traumatized state raima has had assumed it was sonakshi who caused her accident. Sippy family were ashamed of what they believed and so was raima,they all apologized from sonakshi but rohit wanted more. He wanted to hug her infront of everyone,say sorry for all those times he had hurt her and tell raima and everyone about him and sonakshi. But before him,sonakshi revealed the fake relationship that they have been doing to the whole sippy clan and that he is love with raima instead. Everyone was left shocked and raima was elated and he was destroyed seeing sonakshi walking away from him that night out of his life.
He knew that he loved her,but the intensity he loved her from came to the surface only at that very moment. He felt like dragging her back and holding her hand and tell everyone that he is only and only sonakshi’s but destiny had other plans. The attempts to meet her went futile and there was no more chance,no more talks,no more anything remained between them two. He felt like he went up a roller coaster and was thrown off from everything he had,up in the air.never to recover.
His chain for memories broke as he heard a click at the door. He knew that raima was here again and the usual annoyance invaded him. He tightly closed his eyes wanting to pretend sleeping and he was glad he was facing his back to the doorway. He heard her locking it behind and he gripped his knees tighter and tried to stay immobile.in few seconds he felt her getting into the bed and drawing her close to himself. He thought damn why didn’t I lock the door right at that moment.he stayed calm as he sensed her hand coming to him but the moment it rested on his shoulder he shot opened his eyes. It was her.
“Sonakshi...” he didn’t know when he called her out loud,how he got up and turned to see her,wishing hoping and yearning her to not be a dream. And yes,she was not.
Kneeling on his bed with her hands now resting on her sides,was her and she was staring at him with those deep black eyes,were they moist as soon as she saw him? He wondered.those usual hair strands were falling to her left eye and his hand slowly went there and swiftly tucked them behind her ear. He saw her eyes closing when his palm brushed against her cheek. He drew himself close to her,kneeling in the similar way like her. Then he cupped her cheeks and made her look at him.he felt her holding his hands at his wrists.
“Wo....” She stammered and he nodded asking her,begging her to continue.
“Raima aaya tha mujhse milne...aur kehe raha tha ki tum....”
“Mein?” He asked
“Tum kush...n..ahi hein usske aane ke bawajood bhi....” she completed.
“Haa nahi hoon mein kush...keise kyun honge kushi mein...wo tum....”
“Kush hona chahiye naa tume rohit....kitna intezaar kiya hein...tum....uski....”
He felt so angry.
“Tum beech raat mein ye bataanein keliye goregaon se malabar hills aayi thi? Seriously sonakshi? Seriously? Seriously? Please stop being the parvati of KPK now, eisa mahaan nahi hona chahiye asal zindagi mein.Pehele bina kuch soche samje hamari fake relationship ke baare mein kahaan...wahaan se nahi rokhi batayi ti ki mein abh bhi raima we pyaar karta hoon. Kya bakwaas tha wo sab.apne marzi karke...chali gayi tum...tumari set nahi tha wo,hamari ghar tha. Tumari script nahi tha wo,hum dono ki zindagi tha. aur ab kehe rahaan hein ki mein neh uski intezaar kiya...” She flinched. He grabbed her shoulders and drew her close to him,and she did not expect that. There she landed on him and her hands rested on his chest.
“Intezaar mein tumhari karta tha sonakshi.. uss din se aaj tak bohot intezaar kiya.kitna baar aaya tumse milne.ek mauka chahiye ta tumse baat karneka...batana chahiye tha ki us wakt mein kitna helpless tha. Raima ek patient thi.uski haalat teek nahi thi.batana chahiye ta tumse ki mein raima ki baat kabhi...”
“Wishwaas nahi kiya. Haan rohit mujhe pata hein...ki tum usske baat par wishwaas nahi kiya.raima neh aakar sab kuch bataya...ki tumne mera side leliya....” she tried saying in order to calm himself down. Instead he got even angrier.
“Toh raima ki baat par wishwaas karti hoon tum. Mera kya sonakshi? Mera kya? Tume raima se pehele mujhe mili thi,nahi? Tume pata hona chahiye ki tum mere liye kitna important hoon...aur tum wahaan bet bet ke raima ki baat sunrahi hoon aur issiliye aaya mujhse milne,right?” He shook her in his arms. While tears flew down her cheeks, she too was now getting angry.
“Haa toh tume bhi mujhe batana chahiye tha hein naa. Chup Chup ke meri side kyun leliya...sab ke saamne meri side kyun nahi li. Sab ke saamne mujh par wishwaas kyun nahi kar tha tha.us wakt mein akheli waha kadi rahe thi....aur tum toh ek spectator ban kar rehete tha...aur ab mujhse daat rahe hoon....”
“haa mujhe pata hein...mujhe pretend karna hua uss din,tumari saat dene keliye mauka bhi nahi mila. Bohot boori hoon mein I know. Fas gaya mein ne apne past aur tumari beech.ek taraf mera patient aur eka taraf tum mera sab kuch.lekin ek baat tume yaad rakhna chahiye tha sonakshi.Ek baat.kahataa mein uss din...kahataa ki mein kuch log srif ateeth hein hamari.clealry kahataa ki raima mere liye ek khoobsurat ateet hoon par ki tum mere taqdeer hoon....kam se kam wo nahi aaya yaad mein tumari?”
“Yaad nahi aayi toh kyun aaungi mein yahaan haa? Of course yaad aaya. Yaad nahi aaya actually wo tumari baatein hamesha meri dimaag mein tha...issliye toh aaya tha.I came because you were hurting yourself rohit. Raima toh srif ye kahataa ki wo jaa rahe hoon yahaan se aur tum kush nahi hoon,lekin mujhe toh ehesaas hua hein ki tum kyun nahi kush honga...issiliye aaya hoon mein tumari paas....” she said first in an anger that was slowly turning to a broken voice. Tears were flowing down her cheeks and looking at him she noticed that his eyes were brimming with tears too.he was still looking angry so he was trying hard to hold his tears back.she saw that he sniffed up his nose like a stubborn little child.
“Pata hein mein kitna dhar gaya...beetein hue har pal lag raha tha ki mein tume kochuke hoon ab.tume andaaza bhi nahi hein sonakshi ki mein kese reheta tha tumari bina.... kahi jaa bhi nahi sakta har ek kone mein tume nazar aarahi thi...yahaan nahi rehe sakta tha kyun ki raima har ek pal yahaan aakar meri saat rehene ke koshish karta tha....what a trap you put me into....” he complained,still mad at her.
“Haa toh mein bhi kuch enjoy thodi kiya....kya lagta ta tume...ki ye sab bohot entertaining hoon meri liye....har pal tume yaad karta tha...mere kaam teek se nahi kar paatha tha....jab bhi akhele thi tum aur mein uss bench pe bet kar bitaya hua har pal yaad aaya....raima aur tume ek saat rehene ki ajeeb khayal meri man mein aaya tha...tume toh pata nahi mein kitna dukhi tha....” she asked pushing him and struggling to get off her hands from him but he tightly held them.
“Haa toh isse pehele kyun nahi aathi...” he snapped.
“Tume toh aana tha lekin tum aagaya? Nahi na...”
“Tume dekhe bhi bina tumari touch pehechaan gaya tha mein neh ok....tum toh aakar bhi kya kehete ti? Haa? Kya kehete thi... tume toh kush hona chahiye rohit,kitna intezaar kiya tum usske wagera....” he said imitating her in a dumb girl voice at the end.
“I don’t talk like that ok.”
“Of course you talk like that.”
She glared at him and he returned back a glare.
“Tum mujhse patch up karne aayi hoon yaa ladne mein?” He then asked.
“mein kyun patch up karu.tumne mere dil thod toh tum patch up karo mujhse rohit....”
“Haa toh I am sorry galti hua mujhse. Ab ok?”
“rohit seriously? Eisa patch up karti hoon log?”
“Log ke baaremein nahi janta lekin mein eisa hoon. You should take a look at me well, it will be easier to know how sorry I am. And now I said it too. Haa maana ki bohot rudely sorry kahaa...lekin mein eisa baar baar switch nahi kar sakta mera moods.actress tum ho,mein toh kaali ek surgeon hoon...”
“Toh you mean it’s easy for me to change moods all the time. Pehele mujhe kahaa ta Ki KPK ki lead jeisa mat hoon aur ab kehe rahaan hoon ki mujhe eka actress ki tarah behave karna chahiye. Wow. Kisse pyaar kar beti hoon mein...”
“Haa toh nahi karna chahiye pyaar tume mujhse?”
She pushed him back and got up.
“Haa nahi karni hein,kitni rulaati hoon tum mujhe. Mujhe nahi karni hein koi pyaar vyaar.mein jaa rahi hoon. Good bye.”
She turned her back and started walking away and few seconds gap it was and she felt her hand being dragged back and she landed on his bed,no not his bed,on him.
“Tumari baare mein toh nahi pata...mujhe toh pyaar karni tumse, poori raat.”
He said rolling her underneath him. She gulped feeling him all against her whole body like this.
“Rohit...chod lo mujhe.”
“Nahi chodunga.abhi nahi.kabhi nahi.”
“Chillaungi mein Haa...”
“Arey wow chillao chillao mujhe bhi dekhna hein.”
“Rohit koi aajayenga...”
“Door lock karke tum ne aaya tha sonakshi.iss ghar mein kissi ko super powers ya invisible cloaks nahi hota. So you trust on me,no one will come.”
She stopped struggling and looked into his eyes. He leaned on to her and hugged her to his embrace and planted a kiss on her forehead.
“Bohot ullu types ki hein mein right? Hamesha tumari dil dukhati hoon. I know. Bohot bura hoon mein sonakshi. Lekin aaj ke baad, I promise, I promise that I will never ever leave you in the mid way of anything, I trust you more than anything in my life and hereafter I will shamelessly doubtlessly and limitlessly will trust on you infront of whoever or at whatever. I promise you that. I am sorry,sona. I am very sorry for being such an idiot always.but remember that for me,you are everything.Srif tum hoon mera sab kuch.aur kuch bhi nahi chahiye mujhe... please...” he said wiping her tears away from his thumbs.
She sent her hand around his shoulders and closed their distance.
“It’s ok doctor surgeon.chalo bulate hein wo sab.Tum toh meri ullu hoon,lekin ek handsome ullu with a cute smile.” She smiled rubbing her cheek against his stubble.
“Srif itna sa hein.Sexy nahi hoon?” He winked.
“Kuch sexy karke dikhaaona.Tab decide karungi.” She said with a mischievous smile.
“mumma se kaho ki tum aaj raat ghar nahi aarahi hoon...”
He started nuzzling her neck and kissing her there. While she turned red with his sweet torture.
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