AKSHAN OS- chapter 3(b) : BARISH updated

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attiya1.3

@attiya1.3

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 6 years ago

Salam and hi..

I sit to write something else but it turned out this. 😆

So enjoy... If you can..

AKSHAN OS- chapter 3(a) : BARISH

" yeah mausam bhi Na! Mumbai ki barish ka koi bharosa nahi. Sarru, lakshmi... Chat s kapray utar waliye?" Durga inquired.

" ji didi. But didi, apne 1 baat par ghor kia?"

"Kia?"

"Woh dekhye.." She pointed towards distressed guddan who was roaming in the whole hall. She was looking at the clock. It struck 11.

" yeh barish to ruk hi nahi rahi" she thought. " Ab to sonay ka bhi time hogya"

" bhabhi! Iski pareshani samajh ayi! " laxmi chripped.

" yeh kahan soyegi aj"

Durga face just lit up with this thought. All three went to her to a take a dig in this situation.

" sasu maa! Bauhat der hogyi hai...ap sonay chali jayn. AJ bhi intezar kr rahay hongay" durga equipped a sweet tone.

Guddan started to sweat " wwwoh ... Woh mjhay neend nahi arahi Na... Bss"

" aray to phir upar chali jaye.Ab hum khul kr to nahi bol sktay ..ap smjhdar hain" sarru added her bait.

" kia MATLAB?" Guddan panicked

" aray barish ka mausam hai, thandi thandi hawa hai, nayi nayi Shadi , jawan biwi or salon k dabay arman, aur AJ ko to barish bauhat pasand hai. Ab is s zyada hm kia smjhayn . jaye Ab aur intezar Na krayain !" Laxmi dreamily narrated the whole scene.they were enjoying guddan condition.

Guddan was about to cry when she heard her name.

" guddan! Zara upar ana !" Akshat ordered from the stairs and went back to his room.

" jaye sasu maa.. Dekhye un s intezar nahi hora." Laxmi pushed her towards stairs.

" nahi nahi... Mn wohhh" guddan wanted to run out of the house.

" chaliye sasu maa...yeh akhiri bar apko apkay kamray tak chornay jarahy hm.. Chaliye" they dragged guddan and pushed her into the room where she collided with AJ.

" kia kar rahi ho...har waqt girti rahti ho" AJ was irritated.

" aur idhar ao" he dragged her towards bed where guddan came into her senses

" nahi ...bilkul nahi...mn yeh SB nahi krne wali...aaa...ap jawan hain...aur ...aur barish k arman hain...bed ...bed thanda hai...aur Shadi salon s hui wi, aur ap ko main pasand hun...ap ap ko control krna chaye Na".. Guddan uttered all in one breath and on other end, AJ face was shocked and expressionless.

" tmhn khud smjh aya k tmne kia kaha ... Srf 1 bat is mn s sahi hai...barish horahi.."

" han Na...to tabhi mn n yh SB kaha...dekhye ap n wada kia tha apko srf nam ki Shadi krni thi...phr apni Umar dekhiye ...yh Sab jawani mn krte.." Guddan gulped down. She wanted to run away from him.

Akshat decoded the words she has spoken and with this realization, he wanted to bang his head into the wall.

" tm har waqt yehi sochti rehti ho kia. Aur akhiri bar yh bat sunlo. Mjhy tmse kuch nahi chaye...mn apni sari zindagi aur kia kaha tha tm n...armaan...SB puray kr chuka hn. And BTW, konsi cheap movie or novel mn itni wahiyat baat parhi hai tm n..." Akshat was fuming with anger.

Guddan realized that she has done a grave mistake by getting into words of her 3 devils . she remember her words and got so embarrassed of what she has spoken.

She put her head down.

" mn yeh dikhane bula raha tha. Barish horahi, Jo intehai zehar lgti mjhy , to yh partition krdya hai mn n bed PR. Na mn tmhari side aunga Na tm meri. OK!"

Guddan just nodded her head. With previous drama, she was in no position to protest.

" aur yeh har baat mn meri Umar kahan s ajati hai .har kam mn is Umar mn akr nhi krskta... Shadi, dance , fight , se..." He was about to utter the word but, stop at last moment.akhshat couldn't react to this awkward scenerio.

" sorry...woh mn zyada react krgayi"

Guddan cheeks turn red for what he was about to say and wanted to end this.

Akshat laid on his side and turn off the lamp while guddan went to changing room.when she came back, he was in exact position.she laid on her side making her face towards him.

" kuch zyada krdya mn n ..uncle in Jo bhi kia mere sath, magr apni biwi k sath loyal hain.

Chalo shukar...uncle ka ghussa jitna bhi excess ho, hormones under control hain " with this thought and smile, she went into deep sleep.

To be continue

Edited by attiya1.3 - 6 years ago

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Mamta Singh

@Piku_S

Alumni

+ 7

Posted: 6 years ago

🤣Bechara Akshat and his umar explanation 🤣🤣🤣

Love the awkward situation that the 3 Devils put their sasu maa and sasurji in😆

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nish_vir

@nish_vir

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 6 years ago

The scene was written funnily😆

Lakshmi ki romantic talks about AJ ke saalon se soe hue armaan was hilarious🤣

Aur fir Guddan ki nonsensical rants was epic🤣

AJ ke muh se nikla danger word, "se.."☺️

So overall, it was quite funny to read. But If you won't mind I will like to suggest something. You seem to write in short forms. Ex: Tumne as 'tmne'. The use of short forms makes reading a bit difficult, so you can maybe try to write fully.

Just a suggestion. I hope not to come across as a preaching idiot who is a novice herself :)

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attiya1.3

@attiya1.3

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 6 years ago

Originally posted by: maha2905
wow its really awesome Os

Thanks😆😃

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attiya1.3

@attiya1.3

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 6 years ago

Originally posted by: *Piku*
🤣Bechara Akshat and his umar explanation 🤣🤣🤣
Love the awkward situation that the 3 Devils put their sasu maa and sasurji in😆

Thanks dear😆

Quote

attiya1.3

@attiya1.3

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 6 years ago

Originally posted by: nish_vir
The scene was written funnily 😆
Lakshmi ki romantic talks about AJ ke saalon se soe hue armaan was hilarious🤣
Aur fir Guddan ki nonsensical rants was epic🤣
AJ ke muh se nikla danger word, "se.."☺️

So overall, it was quite funny to read. But If you won't mind I will like to suggest something. You seem to write in short forms. Ex: Tumne as 'tmne'. The use of short forms makes reading a bit difficult, so you can maybe try to write fully.
Just a suggestion. I hope not to come across as a preaching idiot who is a novice herself :)

Thanks dear...

Its okay...I will try to write it full😃

Its satisfactory that you people find my write-ups funny because I am really opposite in real and while writing, I find them not funny at all.😆

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captainplus

@captainplus

Sparkler

+ 5

Posted: 6 years ago

this was really funny 🤣

no issues if not now, later AJ's hormones will definitely loose control 😉

& guddu is very cute 😳

Edited by captainplus - 6 years ago

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floral

@floral

Trailblazer

+ 3

Posted: 6 years ago

😆 superb i just loved this os

bichari guddu 😆 hw cute these miya biwi are

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attiya1.3

@attiya1.3

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 6 years ago

Originally posted by: captainplus
this was really funny 🤣
no issues if not now, later AJ's hormones will definitely loose control 😉

& guddu is very cute 😳

Writers ka pta nahi but I will definitely make him lose😆

Thanks😃