Previously On...
Muskaan's family agrees to get her and Rahul engaged after Armaan, Riddhima, and Simran (Rahul's mom) convince them.
Track Fifty Eight - Aise Kyu
The morning of Rahul & Muskaan's roka ceremony was beautiful. Armaan woke up to the chirping of birds, way before his alarm was set to go off. He trudged downstairs to an empty home, everyone still in bed, and brewed himself some coffee to start his day.
He'd only just washed his mug and kept it away when Tamanna bounded down the stairs. She'd arrived along with the rest of their friends from Mumbai a couple nights before. Jaanhavi, Rohan, and their family had also made the trip to participate in the festivities and had only arrived in the wee hours of morning. Armaan had been the one who had received them at the airport and had only gotten a couple hours of sleep, but he still looked fresh as a daisy, owing to his excitement about the ceremony.
"Good morning!" Tamanna greeted him with a hug.
"Good morning," Armaan replied. "Why are you up so early?"
"Because I knew you'd be," she answered. "And I thought I'd help you."
"You didn't have to," he said. "I can manage. There's not much to do anyway. Go get some rest."
"I won't be able to rest either," Tamanna protested. She didn't think she would till she had a proper conversation with Sid and put the whole episode behind her. She hadn't anticipated how heavily it would weigh on her mind. She hadn't spoken to him yet because she didn't want to spoil the atmosphere with her problems. From what she remembered about Sid, she couldn't be sure that he'd accept her rejection graciously. She needed to be prepared for that. And, she thought, it would be best to discuss the whole thing with at least Armaan before making any firm decisions.
She knew that Armaan had gotten extremely close to Sid in the time he'd been in Mumbai, and she wanted to make sure she wasn't making a mistake by doing what she had decided to. She didn't think Armaan would be able to change her mind about it, because Sid being a good friend didn't automatically make him a good partner or a good father.
She wanted Armaan's validation, she supposed. He hadn't ever steered her in the wrong direction before, and he cared more about her well being than she did herself. He'd never let her make a decision that would be bad for her.
Momentarily, she was surprised by how much she trusted Armaan. It felt good to be able to trust this way, to know that there was someone who cared about her so much. After Aniket, she didn't think she'd ever be able to have such faith in someone, not even herself, but her elder brother had proved her wrong and she was so grateful for that.
"You okay?" Armaan asked her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her into his side, breaking her chain of thought.
"Yeah," she replied. "I'm fine. Just thinking about how lucky I am to have you."
"Stop it!" Armaan rebuffed.
"Room for one more?" Jaanhavi's voice echoed around the kitchen, making the duo turn to her.
"Always!" Armaan exclaimed, opening his other arm. Jaanhavi grinned and ran into his embrace.
"I missed you guys," she mumbled.
"We didn't miss you at all," Tamanna teased. Jaanhavi gave her a wounded look, making Armaan laugh.
"Now, why are you also up so early?" He asked her.
"Jet lag," Jaanhavi muttered. "I'm hungry."
Armaan chuckled and pulled away from his sisters. "Take a seat. Let me get you both something to eat."
"I see how it is," Rahul commented, also entering the kitchen. "Now that I'm getting married, you've forgotten about me."
"Exactly!" Armaan exclaimed. "Thank god I didn't have to sit you down and explain how things are going to change now! I always knew you were smart, Jaana!"
Rahul glared at him in reply. "Draame karna band kar and sit down!" Armaan instructed him.
He kneaded some dough and fried parathas for them all, placing them in front of the trio with a serving of raita and pickle. "Here you go! Bon appetit!"
"Thank you!" The three of them murmured gratefully, biting into the food.
"So, Rahulllll," he drawled, taking a seat beside the man and biting into his own paratha. "How excited are you?"
"I think I'm more nervous than excited," Rahul answered honestly. "Still feels a little surreal."
"I can imagine," Jaanhavi agreed. "Do you remember how I was on the day of my engagement?"
"I'd rather not!" Tamanna snorted. Jaanhavi had been a mess that day. She'd been too anxious and jittery, not sitting still for a minute. She'd snapped at everyone the entire day and had cried right before the ceremony.
"I hope I'm not that bad," Rahul said, shuddering at the memory. He hadn't known what to do. It was the first time he'd seen Jaanhavi so extremely worked up. He'd been worried that she'd have a panic attack with the way she'd been behaving but thankfully it hadn't come to that.
As always, Armaan had been godsent. He'd handled Jaanhavi like a pro, as if he'd done it several times before, which maybe he had. He'd stuck with her the entire day, despite her boorish attitude, and had continuously assured her that things would be okay.
"Don't worry," Armaan assured his best friend. "Even if you are, we're all here for you."
Rahul smiled, turning to kiss Armaan's cheek. "Thank you!"
"Why was I not informed of this little rendezvous?" Rishika Kashyap asked as she made her way down the stairs. Rishika was Rahul's elder sister by a solid decade. Her and her husband, Ahaan Kashyap, had made the trip for the roka too. Rishika was a very doting elder sister whose younger brother was her entire world. Owing to the large age gap between them, she'd always been a little too protective over Rahul, and had been a second mother to him. Over the years, she had come to love all his friends in the same way.
"Good morning, Jiji!" Armaan greeted, using the moniker Rahul had given her, springing up from his chair to hug her.
"If there was a secret meeting, as the leader of your little group, I should have been the first one to be informed," she continued, even as Armaan hugged her. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"We didn't plan this, Jiji," Tamanna clarified. "I guess everyone is too excited and just ended up waking up so early."
Rishika couldn't argue with that. She was so excited as well. For as long as she could remember, she had wanted Muskaan to marry Rahul. A complete daddy's girl, Rishika had always taken her father's words to heart, and for her, Muskaan had been her sister-in-law since the day her father had declared his intention to see the two wed. Rishika had always adored Muskaan ever since they were kids, loving the way she challenged Rahul. She'd known, even then, that Muskaan would be the perfect partner for her younger brother. When Rahul had opposed the match initially, she'd tried her hardest to change his mind, but her efforts had yielded no results. But now that it was finally happening, she was ecstatic.
She just wished her father was here to witness this day with his own eyes. It had been his greatest wish. It had also been the one regret he'd carried with him in death. Rajveer Garewal didn't have very many regrets in life, but failing to have helped his son in finding his happily ever after had been the biggest. He was still here, she knew, watching over them and silently blessing them in a way only he could. But she wanted him to be physically there with them, not just spiritually. He would have been so happy.
Shaking her head to rid herself of such sad thoughts on the morning of her brother's engagement, she took a seat at the table and started gobbling up the parathas. Armaan got to work, making more food as the house came to life. Slowly, all their guests made their way into the kitchen in search of food and Armaan was only too happy to serve them all. Once they were done with breakfast, Armaan drove to the Chadda's, taking with him some things necessary for the ceremony.
At Muskaan's house, he was greeted with the most pleasant sight of a freshly showered Riddhima, clad in a beautiful blue anarkali, opening the door for him. "Hi," he breathed.
"Hey," she smiled. The two of them kept looking at each other for what felt like an eternity, till the moment was disturbed by the shrill voice of one Tajinder Chadda, enquiring as to who was at the door.
Riddhima shook her head, a few drops of water from her wet hair falling onto a mesmerized Armaan. Oblivious to the effect she was having on him, she stepped aside to let him in. When Armaan made no move to enter the house, she turned to him and snapped her fingers in front of his eyes. "Armaan!" She called. "Don't you want to come in?"
Her voice successfully brought him out of his trance. "Uh, right. Yes!" He exclaimed, hastily rushing inside. In the process, he collided with her and dropped the tray he'd been carrying.
"Sorry!" He exclaimed, immediately bending down to pick everything up. Riddhima shook her head fondly and bent down alongside him to help.
They both started piling stuff back in the tray almost blindly. Their hands brushed at one point, sending a jolt through Armaan's spine. He immediately pulled his hand back. Riddhima looked up at him, worried at his hasty retreat, making him chuckle. "Still awkward, I guess," he mumbled.
Riddhima laughed at that, lightly hitting her forehead. "Soon," she wished out loud.
"Soon," he agreed. They both put the last of the things on the tray and stood up.
"Arrre, Armaan puttar? Othe kya kar raha hai? Andar aa!" Tajinder ordered when she spotted Armaan. She'd come outside to check, never having received a reply from Riddhima.
"Jee! Namastey, Aunty!" Armaan greeted her. "Yeh thoda samaan Mummy ne bheja hai!" He said, handing the trays to her.
"Changa ji!" Tajinder exclaimed. "Thank you, puttar ji. Cheti se aa jao. Main nashta lagati hoon."
"Arre, nahi, Aunty! Maine nashta already kar liya hai!" Armaan assured her.
"Aise kaise? Chal… Ek parantha toh kha le!" Tajinder insisted.
"Bilkul time nahi hai, Aunty! Aaj bohot kaam hai," Armaan denied. "Phir kabhi."
"Chal, theek hai!" Tajinder acquiesced. "Aajke din nahi zabardasti karti."
"Thank you, Aunty!" Armaan cried. "Achcha… Main chalta hoon. Mummy ne jaldi ghar bulaya tha."
"Okay, puttar ji. Aaj shaam ko milte hain!" Tajinder said her goodbyes.
Riddhima offered to walk Armaan to his car. He agreed almost instantly. The two of them didn't speak as they walked, content to spend their time together in silence. When they reached the car, Riddhima looked around to make sure they were alone before giving Armaan a hug. Armaan was surprised at the sudden gesture, but nevertheless wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back. Quickly, almost a little too quickly, Riddhima pulled back as well. She had taken Armaan's advice to heart and had been trying to initiate contact between the two of them to reduce the awkwardness they felt, and slowly, it was starting to work.
"See you in the evening," she murmured.
"See you in the evening," he echoed, getting inside the car and driving off.
Riddhima went back to the house, a smile on her lips. The past few days had been very exciting. She'd moved from Rahul's to Muskaan's house for the duration of her stay, helping the Chaddas with the preparations. Her & Armaan hadn't been spending as much time together as she'd like, given that they were both so busy, but whatever time they'd had together was nice.
She scoffed to herself. Nice. She'd never used that term to describe her interactions with Armaan before. It felt too… Impersonal, somehow. But, a lot had changed, and they were both still coming to grips with it all. She figured she was lucky that Armaan had at least decided to give their relationship another chance. She had certainly not been as accommodating as he was being when she was on the receiving end. Perhaps, Armaan had always been the more understanding one of the two of them.
Focus, Riddhima! She scolded herself, shaking her thoughts away. Now was not the time to concentrate on her non-relationship with Armaan. Muskaan needed her complete attention. She would talk to Armaan once the roka was done with and set some concrete ground rules. For now, there was a lot to do, and very little time to do it in.
_________
"Do I look okay?" Muskaan asked Riddhima & Nikki as she adjusted her pallu. She was dressed in a beautiful lavender lehenga. It was almost time for the roka ceremony and the Chaddas would be leaving any minute. Nikki had arrived a couple hours ago to help Riddhima in getting Muskaan ready while Anjali elected to stay back and get some rest before the ceremony.
"Absolutely gorgeous!" Riddhima replied.
"I agree," Nikki seconded. "Rahul is not gonna know what hit him!"
Muskaan blushed at that. "Ladkiyon! Tayyaar ho kya?" Tajinder asked, entering the room, dressed in a heavy patiala. She stopped short on seeing Muskaan.
"Kisi ki nazar naa lage!" She exclaimed, applying a nazar ka teeka behind Muskaan's neck. "Muskaan… Tu kinni soni lag rahi hai, puttar!" She hugged Muskaan tight, doing her best to control her tears.
"Tum dono bhi bohot hi soni lag rahi ho," Tajinder complimented Riddhima & Nikki.
"Thank you, Aunty!" They replied in unison.
"Cheti-cheti aa jao! Mahurat ka waqt ho raha hai," she instructed.
"Yes, Aunty," Nikki assured her. "Hum bas Muskaan ko leke aa hi rahe the."
"Chalo, phir," Tajinder demanded. The four of them made their way outside where the rest of the family was already waiting. Once they had all blessed Muskaan, they made their way to the Grewal's, where they were greeted with great aplomb.
"Aaiye, aaiye!" Simran welcomed them all. She hugged Muskaan tight and welcomed her home. She helped Muskaan to the middle of the room where the ceremony was to take place. Rahul was already seated there, talking to Rohan and Shilpa. He immediately stood up when he saw Muskaan, his eyes never leaving hers. Muskaan blushed at his intense gaze, making him smile.
"Shuru karein?" Bebe asked once everyone had been accounted for.
"Ji, Bebe!" Simran agreed. To Tamanna, she said, "Tamanna, beta… Bring the aarti out, please… And the shagun."
Tamanna immediately left to do as asked, pulling Jaanhavi along with her.
"Mummy… Where's Armaan?" Rahul asked, looking around for him.
"Oh! Yeh ladka!" Simran muttered. "I'd sent him to check on the food."
"I'll bring him," Riddhima volunteered.
"Thank you, Riddhima," Rahul replied instantly, not giving anyone a chance to comprehend what was happening. "That'd be great!"
He smirked at her retreating form, happy at the turn of events. Something definitely was brewing. Just as soon as the roka was done, he would be speaking to Armaan to get to the bottom of it. If Armaan had decided to go out with Riddhima again, he needed to know. He saw that Nikki was observing everything just as intently. A moment later, she turned to him and their eyes met, silent communication passing between them. Good, Rahul thought. He wasn't the only one. She'd noticed too. That would definitely make things easier.
"Armaan!" Riddhima called. "Where are you?"
He wasn't anywhere to be found. After checking a few rooms, when she found the kitchen empty, she was about to go to the hall when she heard a muffled sob from one of the rooms on the far end of the house. She followed the sound and sure enough, Armaan had found himself a quiet corner to cry.
"Armaan," she whispered, sitting beside him. "Are you okay?"
Armaan turned to her, the sunniest smile on his face even as tears rushed down his cheeks. "Of course! I'm great!"
"Are you sure?" She asked him.
"Mhmmm," he mumbled. "I just…" He sobbed out, unable to form words. Unable to stop herself, Riddhima wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. Armaan hugged her back fiercely, hiding his face in the crook of her neck and sobs shook his body. Riddhima rubbed soothing circles on his back and murmured soft encouragement in his ears.
A few moments later, Armaan pulled back. "I'm good," he told her. At her disbelieving look, he added fiercely, "Really! I am! These are happy tears!"
"Happy tears? Aise?" Riddhima questioned.
Armaan shrugged sheepishly. "I was overwhelmed," he confessed. "I have waited for this day to come for so long. Rahul, finally moving forward in his life… With Muskaan by his side. It seems like a dream that it's happening. I've wanted this for just so long, Riddhima. My Rahul deserves all the happiness in the world, and now he's getting it… So I'm feeling a little emotional."
"Little?" Riddhima laughed. "I'm afraid to see what happens when you're very emotional," she joked.
Armaan scoffed despite himself and turned away from her to wipe his tears. "You know," Riddhima whispered conspiratorially, "You're always making fun of me saying meri aankhon mein water tank hai jo bas leak hoti rehti hai… But actually it's you! Tumhaari aankhon ki water tank mujhse zyada leak hoti hai. You're the real one… Meena Kumari, kahin ke!"
"Nooooo!" Armaan whined. "Not Meena Kumari!"
"That's who you are. Meena Kumari! Meena Kumari!! Meena Kumari!!!" Riddhima gloated, slipping into their old routine of teasing and banter so naturally.
"Baskettttttt!" Armaan complained. "I'm not Meena Kumari!"
All of Riddhima's mirth flew away in a second at his words. She forgot everything else, but one word. One name. Her name. Basket. Basket. Basket. How long had it been since she'd craved to hear him call her that? An eternity, it seemed. She couldn't help the tears that fell from her eyes as she remembered just why he'd stopped calling her that.
Nahi hoon main tumhaari Basket! Tumhaari Basket marr gayi hai! She'd shouted at him all those years ago, when all she'd wanted was to hide in his arms forever. But, she'd been married then, to a man who she still didn't understand if she should hate or not. It had been important then, to put that distance between herself and Armaan, to kill the intimacy of that special nickname that had become a living, breathing part of their relationship. But now… Now, there were no such boundaries. Nothing stopping her from being Basket. Armaan's Basket. That's who she was, who she would always be.
Armaan misinterpreted Riddhima's tears, also remembering her words from back then, and immediately rushed to apologize, even though it broke his heart to do so. "I'm sorry!" He cried. "I'm so, so, so sorry. I didn't mean to, Riddhima. I shouldn't have. I know you don't like it when I call you that. I promise I'll never do it again."
"Don't you dare!" Riddhima snapped back, her heart thundering in her chest at his words. Never be called Basket? That was her worst nightmare. The one she'd been living in for the past eight years. "Phir se bolo," she commanded him.
"Ridd…" Armaan started, but stopped when Riddhima placed her hand on his mouth.
"Mera naam Riddhima nahi hai," she said. Armaan kept staring at her, unblinking, trying to make sense of what was happening. It seemed like a fever dream, an alternate reality, too good to be true. Everything in him screamed to say something, anything, to call her by the name only he called her by.
"Armaan, please," she begged, moving forward to rest her head on his chest. For a moment, Armaan was stunned by the closeness, his heart beating even faster as her breath tickled his skin. How long had it been since she'd been so close to him? Since she'd wanted to be so close to him?
"Please," Riddhima continued. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry for back then. Main… I never wanted to say that, Armaan. Lekin main kya karti? I was afraid… I couldn't handle being so close to you without actually being so close to you. If you'd called me that… Armaan, I'd have ran into your arms to never leave. I couldn't do that. Not then… So I was forced to put a distance between us. But trust me, I never wanted that. I always wanted to be… To be your…" She trailed off.
"Basket," he whispered, but she heard it as though he'd shouted it from the rooftops. "Basket," he repeated, his silken voice meant for her and just her. Fresh tears made their way to both their eyes as Riddhima turned and threw herself into his waiting arms. He wrapped her up in embrace, snug and tight, his mouth only moving to call out to her, her name a prayer on his lips.
A few moments later, when they'd both calmed down a little, Riddhima pulled away. She reached up to wipe his tears. "See," she laughed, and Armaan's heart skipped a beat. "Meena Kumari."
He laughed despite himself. Maybe, he could warm up to that stupid nickname, especially if it made her smile the way it did. He reached up and wiped her tears as well. They looked at each other and burst out laughing. Armaan wrapped an arm around Riddhima's shoulder and pulled her into his side. The sort of casual intimacy that the two of them had gotten very used to back in the day, seemed like a miracle now.
"I told you, didn't I?" Armaan asked rhetorically a moment later. "We'll get used to it. This doesn't seem awkward now, does it?"
Riddhima beamed at him. "It doesn't," she agreed. Her heart was still hammering, but not because of the awkwardness. She should've known. Being with Armaan had always felt so natural. Even at their worst, it had.
"We should go," Riddhima said a moment later, reluctantly leaving Armaan's embrace to stand up. "It's time for the ceremony. We shouldn't make them wait long."
"The ceremony!" Armaan cried, jumping up. "I completely forgot!"
Riddhima laughed. "How?"
"I just did," Armaan replied, looking away. He couldn't admit to her that she'd made him forget that a world outside their little bubble existed. Not just yet.
"Come on," Riddhima prompted, offering him her hand. Armaan looked at her outstretched hand and then at her face, staring intently into her eyes before dropping his gaze to her hand once more. Just as Riddhima was about to step back, thinking it might have been too forward to offer herself up like this, Armaan reached out to hold her hand in his. The two of them shifted, their gaze stuck on the image of their entwined fingers. When Riddhima felt Armaan's eyes shift to her, she looked up at him and smiled, her happiness threatening to burst out of her body.
"We'll be late," Armaan whispered softly, almost as if he was sad to leave the privacy of this room, as if he never wanted this moment to end… Which he didn't. But, he wouldn't miss Rahul's engagement for anything in the world. Not even Riddhima.
"Right," Riddhima agreed. "Let's go."
Silently, the two of them made their way back to the function, Armaan helplessly following Riddhima's lead. His eyes refused to look anywhere but their joined hands. Armaan smiled to himself. Falling for Riddhima was proving to be much easier than he'd anticipated. If things kept progressing the way they were, he might as well be confessing to Riddhima even before he went back home in a few days. The thought didn't seem as scary as it had before he'd come to India to talk to her.
Just a few steps before they'd be in full view of all their family & friends, Riddhima turned. Looking at their hands, she reluctantly pulled hers from his grasp. "Not yet," she told him, when he looked at her in question. "Ek baar hum khud toh sure ho jaaye about what this is. I don't want to tell the others till we decide, Armaan. Please."
Disappointed as he was, Armaan understood her concerns. "You're right," he agreed. "Not yet."
Riddhima smiled in gratitude. Armaan couldn't resist reaching out to give her hand a quick squeeze in reassurance. The rest of the very short walk passed in silence much like before.
"Armaan!" Atul cried when he spotted them. "Kahaan tha, yaar? Kabse wait kar rahe hain tera!"
"Sorry, Champ!" Armaan replied. "Bas woh thoda last minute prep."
Riddhima smirked. Armaan knew that look all too well. When Atul turned around, he immediately turned to her, begging her to keep quiet. Nikki saw him pleading with her and decided to make things a little difficult for him, the amazing best friend that she was. "What's up, Maani? Riddhima se akele kya baatein ho rahi hai?"
"No — not — nothing!" Armaan cried out. "Nothing. Just, you know me! Pshhhhh!" He scoffed.
Before anyone else could ask him anything, he said. "What's all this 50 questions? We should focus on the ceremony! Late ho raha hai ab."
"Haan, cheti karo!" Bebe ordered.
The ceremony started after that, both Rahul & Muskaan's family performing the requisite rituals. Muskaan's parents were still not too thrilled about what was happening, but the glowing happiness on Muskaan's face made up for their reluctance. There was a time when they'd thought they would never see her so happy. But now, thanks to Rahul, that brilliant smile was back on her face. For that they were grateful.
Once the important rituals were done, it was time for some entertainment, and of course, Armaan was put on the spot, asked to sing. "Come on, Maani! Aaj tu mana nahi kar sakta," Rishika ordered. "It's Rahul's engagement!"
"I'll sing," Armaan acquiesced. "But only if Rahul & Muskaan dance!"
"Of course they will," Simran agreed immediately.
"Mummy…" Rahul tried to protest to no avail.
"No," she cut him off. "You're not participating in Dance India Dance that you need to be a good dancer. Chalo, chalo!"
"Haan, Mummy!" Muskaan cheered. "Of course." Turning to Rahul, she added, "Drame mat kar! Come on. We'll dance!"
Rahul sighed, giving in. He would never be able to win against these two anyway. "Fine!"
"Yay!" Everyone cheered.
Armaan walked up to Sonakshi and cleared his throat loudly, pulling her away from her conversation with Karan and Nikki. "What?" She asked, looking up at him. Wordlessly, Armaan offered her his hand.
"Me?" She probed, confused.
Armaan rolled his eyes. "No, Nikki," he snarked. "Of course you! Who else is gonna sing with me?"
"I'm not singing!" Sonakshi exclaimed.
"Of course you are," Armaan replied. "I wasn't asking," he added when he saw her open her mouth to say something again.
Maaniiii," she whined.
"Shonaaaaaa," he sang right back. "Come!"
"Don't be a spoiltsport, Sona!" Nikki interrupted. "Jaa na. Waise bhi it's been years since I heard you two sing together! I miss it!"
"Haan, haan. You're the queen of the world na that I should sing just cause you want me to," Sonakshi intoned sarcastically.
"Right you are!" Nikki cheered in a fake haughty accent. "Now that you understand, you must do my bidding."
"Please, Sona!" Rahul added. "Dekh… Main bhi dance kar raha hoon na! You can't sing for me? Please? It's such a special day for me. And I'm asking for just this one little thing!"
"Stop hanging out with Armaan so much," Sonakshi replied. "You're getting really good at this emotional blackmail thing." A moment later, she added, "Fine. I'll sing. Just for you. Cause you got engaged today!"
"Thank you!" Rahul exclaimed, pulling her in for a hug.
Iss qadar tu mujhe pyaar kar
Jisey kabhi na main sakoon
Phir bhula…
Zindagi laayi humein yahaan
Koi iraada toh raha hoga bhala
Ki darkhast hai yeh
Jo aayi raat hai yeh
Tu meri baahon mein duniya bhula de
Jo ab lamhaat hai yeh
Bade hi khaas hai yeh
Tu meri baahon mein duniya bhula de (x2)
Raahon mein mere saath chal tu
Thaame mera haath chal tu
Waqt jitna bhi ho haasil
Saara mere naam kar tu
Waqt jitna bhi ho haasil
Saara mere naam kar tu
Ki armaan hai yeh
Guzaarish jaan hai yeh
Tu meri baahon mein duniya bhula de
Jo ab lamhaat hai yeh
(Jo ab lamhaat hai yeh)
Bade hi khaas hai yeh
(Bade hi khaas hai yeh)
Tu meri baahon mein duniya bhula de
Lamz jismon pe aise sajaaye
Baarishon se bhi woh dhul na paaye
Tu meri baahon mein duniya bhula de
Ho.. naksh lamhon pe aise banaaye
Muddaton se bhi woh mit na paaye
Tu meri baahon mein duniya bhula de
Hmm.. tujhse toh hoon main yun bohat mutassir
Par kya karoon main hoon ek musafir
Kaisi khushi hai jisme nami hai
Jaane tu ye ya jaane na, o…
Jo jazbaat hai yeh
(Jo jazbaat hai yeh)
Bade hi pak hai yeh
(Bade hi pak hai yeh)
Tu meri baahon mein duniya bhula de
Jo ab lamhaat hai yeh
(Jo ab lamhaat hai yeh)
Bade hi khaas hai yeh
(Bade hi khaas hai yeh)
Tu meri baahon mein duniya bhula de
Tu meri baahon mein duniya bhula de
Bhula de, bhula de
Wo.. tu meri baahon mein duniya bhula de
Bhula de, bhula de, bhula de
Ki darkhaast hai yeh
Jo aayi raat hai yeh
Tu meri baahon mein duniya bhula de
Once their performance was done, Armaan & Sonakshi were flooded by friends and family, praising them for the beautiful rendition of the song. Cheers and hugs echoed from the little group surrounding them. Riddhima, however, stood in the periphery, surprising Armaan. She had enjoyed the performance, that he was sure of. The wide smile on her face as he sang had been proof enough. He wasn't expecting her to throw herself in his arms with exuberance, but he had been expecting a small compliment, in that shy cadence of her lovely voice, her eyes not meeting his, but her words sincere and heartfelt just the same.
It seemed he wasn't the only one who noticed. Nikki did too. And she roped Riddhima into the conversation, pulling her leg as she did so. "Ridzyyyyy!" She called. "As our resident number one fan, you need to pitch in!"
"Number one fan?" Sonakshi asked. "This is the first time I've sung in front of her."
Nikki laughed. "Not you," she clarified. "Armaan! Riddhima is his biggest fan."
Armaan grinned, looking away to hide his blush. It was surprising that such a silly thing made him so happy, but it did. He prided himself in the fact that Riddhima was a fan, even before she knew who he was. He hoped that knowing the truth made her love him even more.
"It was… Breathtakingly beautiful," Riddhima finally murmured. Armaan looked up at her when she said that, and was rewarded with a sight he didn't think he'd ever see again. That quiet happiness that he'd grown to relate to just Riddhima - the small smile on her face, that didn't quite do justice to her beauty, her sparkling eyes weaving a million dreams of them together. Eyes, that he was surprised, were looking directly at him as if staring into his very soul. He dipped his head in acknowledgement, feeling shyer. In the back of his mind, he laughed at their little role reversal. Riddhima being the one staring at him while he felt too nervous to look at her.
"Thank you," he managed to utter at last, two words of appreciation from her meaning more to him than whole magazine spreads from the past. "Glad you liked it."
And even after that, he felt that something was disturbing her. He was quickly becoming attuned to her once again. He had thought that they had both changed too much in their time apart, but apparently not as much as he'd thought, if he could read her so easily once more. Maybe he hadn't been trying hard enough earlier, or was in denial about how he could understand her silences, not wanting to acknowledge whatever fragile thing had started taking up space in his heart once more on seeing her. Maybe, he'd never stood a chance. Maybe, it was fate. Maybe, it was too stupid to try and fight it. Maybe, he'd never stopped loving her. Maybe, it was time he started admitting it. If not to anyone else, at least to himself.
________
"Hey!" Armaan's quiet whisper pulled Riddhima out of her musings. Armaan & Rahul had convinced Muskaan's family to let Muskaan and her spend the night at Grewal's. After more merry making late into the night, the others had finally retired to bed, and Riddhima had taken the opportunity to find some time to herself. She'd set up camp in one of the lounge chairs in the backyard, looking up at the stars, reminiscing about Muskaan & Rahul's happiness at the ceremony.
"Hey," she smiled in greeting.
"May I?" Armaan asked, gesturing to the chair beside her.
"Of course," Riddhima agreed immediately.
"The moon is so beautiful tonight," he murmured when he looked up. There, that wasn't so hard. He'd said it without even saying it. He remembered reading about it years ago, a phrase that surprisingly stuck with him even after all the years. How it was another way of saying I love you in Japanese.
He wasn't ready, not yet, to say it out loud, even to himself, let alone anyone else. But, he didn't want to deny it either, didn't want to pretend it didn't exist, because it did. He was a little in love with her. He always had been. But, he'd promised himself he'd not be hasty, wouldn't get swept up in everything that was Riddhima and his love for her, and hers for him. He would take time, he would go slow, he would give both of them the opportunity to see for themselves that they could be happy. And he would. They would be happy, and they would be together. Because the moon was beautiful, and so was she, and he was maybe in love with her, just as he'd always been.
"As are the stars," she pointed out.
"I didn't even notice. The moon outshines them all," he confessed. How could he, with her beside him, looking radiant in the moonlight, gorgeous as she'd always been, but also, happily glowing.
"Do you remember that night in New York when we saw stars?" Riddhima asked him.
"I do," he replied. "Muskaan had just confessed to Rahul that day, and he'd said no. And today, they just got engaged. Seems like a lifetime ago."
"It does," she agreed. "I never thought this would happen."
"I always knew," Armaan told her. "They both are too in love with each other to not let it happen. Once Muskaan confessed, I knew Rahul would give in. His resolve was already crumbling with every minute in her presence. Frankly, I'm surprised he went so many years without her."
Laughing, he added, "Raj Uncle and I had had a bet going on about how long he'd hold out. I was so confident he would go back to India and grovel years ago. But clearly, Raj Uncle understood his son better. He had told me, even back then, that no matter how long, Rahul would only tell Muskaan he loved her if she told him first. He'd never initiate anything. Said he was much too afraid to ever do that.
Which makes sense. Rahul always felt he wasn't good enough for Muskaan, even before he found out about his issues. He loved her so much and he tried to support her the best he could, but Muskaan had rebelled and left home, coming to Mumbai, just so she didn't have to marry him. And he didn't like her much either back then, but sometimes he'd think that because she rejected him that once, she'd never love him enough to stay with him. Which is very silly, but then, love makes you silly, doesn't it?"
"It does," Riddhima agreed. "It made me silly too, didn't it? Thinking the worst every time because I thought that it would take you away from me. You know, it wasn't just you who was scared of losing me. I was so scared of losing you too. I guess I was just better at hiding it."
"I guess you were," he answered. "Do you think that maybe if you'd told me, things would have been better between us? That I would understand your insecurities and your anger better, and it would make it easier for us to talk to each other?"
"Maybe," she acquiesced. "But I was too afraid to voice it out loud back then."
"And now?" He questioned.
"Now?" She echoed. "I'm always afraid, Armaan. You know that's why I lied to you for so long. I'm just so scared. I don't want to lose you. Not ever. I don't care if you're my friend or my boyfriend or my husband or even just my best friend's brother in - law. I need you to be a part of my life, in whatever capacity you decide. I'm not just saying that. I mean it. I can't promise I'll be the most civil person to be around if you decide you'd rather be just my friend, but I'll get over it. Eventually… Because a life without you is much worse than a life where you're just my friend. I really love you, Armaan. I always have. I always will."
Armaan pulled her into a hug at that, holding her close. Riddhima snuggled close to him and was rewarded with the rapid beating of his heart under her ear. It was thrumming like a humming bird, a mile a minute. It made her happy. He was just as affected by her as she was by him.
"We'll get there," Armaan promised. Riddhima pulled back and smiled. "I know," she said.
"Let's not get all serious on such a happy day though," Armaan stated. "Tell me a happy memory… From the past few years when I wasn't around."
"There were many," Riddhima told him. "So much happened. We've all come so far. So many happy moments that passed, big or small."
"Which was the happiest?" He pressed.
"If I really had to choose… Well, I won't between two, I guess. It was the day Di proposed to Jeeju and the day Nikumbh was born," she replied.
"Anjy proposed to Champ?!?" He exclaimed, surprised.
"She did," Riddhima confirmed. "I mean… You know Jeeju. He would've taken a few more years, I think, to muster up the courage to do it. But I guess Di had enough of waiting around and did it for him. I don't think I've ever seen Atul aa happy as he was that day. You know, he immediately proposed the next day, too. The only reason he had to wait a day was because he didn't have the ring on him when Di did. So he brought it from his bank locker the next day, where it had been kept for who knows how long, and got down on one knee in front of the entire hospital."
"Champ proposed in front of people?" Armaan questioned, shocked.
"He did," Riddhima confirmed. "Honestly, I'm not a fan of public proposals at all, and I wouldn't know what to do with myself if someone did that to me, but you know Di. She loves a spectacle, all the attention. She was very pleased. That's all that matters in the end, doesn't it? Jeeju looked so confident and debonair that day. Wait… I think I have photos!" She exclaimed, as Armaan filed all the information for later use. So, not a public proposal for them, he decided. And then, hit his head for thinking that way. Time, he reminded himself. We need time.
"Look!" Riddhima cried, shoving her phone in his face, utterly oblivious to his internal struggle. Armaan couldn't help but grin at the picture in front of him. It was clearly clicked at the nurse station. Atul was down on one knee, his hand presenting the ring to Anjali while she was looking at him, absolutely shocked. She swiped across the screen, showing him more photos from the day, Atul and Anjali looking ecstatic in each one of them.
"They look so happy," he murmured, his hand automatically coming up to caress their smiles. Looking at the photo made him more emotional than he was ready for and he quickly turned his face to the side to wipe the tear that had fallen from his eyes.
Riddhima laughed lowly. "Oyyee, Meena Kumari! Do you want to look at more photos? Or should I be wary of a flood if we decide to do that?"
Armaan scoffed. "Don't act smart."
"I'm not acting. I am," Riddhima replied smugly. Armaan rolled his eyes. He snatched the phone out of her hand and scrolled through the gallery to see more photos of the happy couple.
"Can't believe I missed this," Armaan whispered as he stopped at a photo of Atul & Anjali hugging each other.
"We really missed you," Riddhima assured him. "You and Rahul… Everything felt so incomplete without the two of you there. And especially at the wedding, it was so hard. We all did miss you, but Atul missed you guys so much. He tried to hide it from others, but he wasn't able to hide it from Nikki and me. He cried after almost every ceremony, not from happiness, but because he hated the fact that you weren't there."
"I spoiled all the fun, huh?" Armaan questioned rhetorically. "Champ finally married Anjy, and not only was I not there to see it happen, I also made them both sad on what should have been the happiest day of their lives. Especially Champ. He's my brother… And what did I do?"
"Armaan… No. Nobody blames you for anything, least of all Jeeju. He could never. He loves you so much. And that's why it hurt that you weren't there for the wedding. But, he knew that wherever you were, if you knew about the wedding, you'd have been the happiest… because you were the only one who ever supported the idea of him and Di together. He missed you, we all did. That made us sad, but that's not your fault, okay? You didn't do anything wrong," Riddhima told him. "Promise me you won't blame yourself for anything. And most certainly not for missing out on these moments. You couldn't help it. I know that if you'd known, you'd have come back, no matter what. Wouldn't you?"
At Armaan's nod, she continued. "See, you would have. But you didn't know."
"Because Champ didn't know how to contact me," Armaan argued. "Because I didn't give him a way to keep in touch."
"Because you needed a fresh start," Riddhima fired back. "If anyone is to blame, it's me. If I hadn't been so stupid, if I had understood what you were trying to tell me… That I could never be happy with Sid… None of this would have happened. So, if anyone is to blame, it's me. Okay?"
"No!" Armaan cried vehemently. "It's not your fault. You were only trying to make your marriage work. A marriage that occured in the first place because I lied to you and left you when you needed me the most. After the shoot-out, if I had been truthful, none of this would have happened."
"And you wouldn't have been involved in the shoot-out if I hadn't arrived at the hospital to meet you," Riddhima fought. She stopped for a second, took a deep breath to clear her thoughts, and then spoke. "Armaan, we're just running in circles here. Tumhaari galti, meri galti… None of it matters. It wasn't just you and it wasn't just me. Circumstances back then were such that we ended up living a life like this. Digging into our pain is not going to help anyone. It wasn't your fault, okay? None of it was. And nobody blames you for anything."
She scooted forward, just a little, not having realized before how close her and Armaan had gotten as they volleyed back and forth. But now? Now she was much too aware of their close proximity. If she shifted even a little, her lips would be on his. Armaan seemed to realize that at the same time she did. He shuddered, his eyes flicking to her mouth before he looked at her again. Suddenly nervous, Riddhima did the only thing she could think of. She pressed forward, and hid her face in Armaan's chest, as she had done countless times before, hugging him tight. She could feel a shiver run up Armaan's entire body before his arms reached out to hold her in return.
"Riddhima?" Armaan's voice reverberated all around her, making her smile. "Ek baat poochu?"
Riddhima nodded, not making a move to separate from Armaan. "Are you jealous of Shona?" He asked cheekily.
"Armaan!" Riddhima cried, whacking his back and pulling away.
With a smug grin, he repeated. "Tell me. Are you jealous of her?"
"Yes," Riddhima answered defiantly, surprising Armaan. He'd thought she'd deny it, like she always did. Riddhima had always been a very possessive partner, not that she'd ever admit it. But, Armaan reasoned to himself, that her insecurities made sense given his history in dating before he fell in love with her. However, never ever had she admitted to her jealousy so easily. Armaan had always seen through her and understood her need for reassurance. But for her to say it so unapologetically was both refreshing and shocking. He didn't know how to process this.
And then, Riddhima started speaking again, not giving him a chance to say anything. "It's just that… The two of you looked so cosy together! You have such great chemistry."
"She's happily married," Armaan reminded her. "And we're just friends."
"I know," Riddhima agreed. "But it's just… It's more than that. I'm jealous of her not just because I think you'd make a great couple in another life… It's that… She had you for all those years that I didn't. You're so comfortable with her. She's already a part of your family. And in many ways, I'm not yet, not the way she is. I'm jealous of that."
"I guess I understand," Armaan replied. And he did. Hadn't Riddhima spent the past few years surrounded by others while he hadn't been by her side like they'd both always envisioned? "I'm jealous too," he added bravely, before he could chicken out. "I know that Sid and you are not romantically involved anymore, but the two of you are still so close."
"Were," Riddhima answered sternly, not even letting Armaan finish what he wanted to say. "Sid and I were close. Not anymore."
"It's just a fight," Armaan shrugged. "You'll make up."
"Not this time," Riddhima said resolutely. "Not ever."
"Basket?" Armaan asked, confused. "Is everything okay?"
Riddhima smiled at that. He was always so worried about her. It warmed her heart to see how much he cared. It warmed her heart even further to see how easily he'd slipped back into his old ways, calling her Basket without a second thought. She'd missed that. So very much.
"Now that you're here, everything is awesome," Riddhima promised.
"Basket," Armaan reprimanded.
Riddhima sighed. "Let's just say I have become disillusioned by Sid. I thought he was my friend, but lately, he's proved that he isn't. I'll tell you everything, I promise. Just not today. We're supposed to be happy today, remember?"
"You'll tell me if you're in trouble, won't you?" Armaan pressed, not probing further about Sid. If Riddhima said she'd tell him, she would. He'd wait till she was ready. "I'm not saying you can't handle things on your own. I'm sure you can. But I just… I worry. I'd feel much better if you confided in me about your problems. I want to help you. I haven't been there for so long and you had to manage everything on your own. I don't want that. Not anymore."
"What a coincidence," Riddhima murmured. "I don't either. I'll tell you. I promise."
Armaan grinned at her at that, pulling her in for a hug. "I love you," Riddhima whispered into the crook of his neck, unable to stop herself. She hadn't said it after that night when she'd confessed all her deepest secrets to Armaan in New York, mindful of the fact that he needed time. But right now, she couldn't help herself.
Armaan didn't say anything, but his arms tightened around her and he snuggled in closer. To Riddhima, that felt a lot like an I love you.
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So, here it is! Finally!! This was actually supposed to go up on 20 August but I was busy with the ILYLTF wedding and didn't get time to write it then, and after... I sorta binged on all of Qubool Hai in like a week when I had some free time before starting my new job. And since then, zero time. I've been writing this on and off in little pockets of time I get when I travel to and from work. So, yeah, that's why it's over a month late.
I hope the long chapter makes up for the delay, though. And of course, the sheer amount of AR content... it is insane. I loved writing them so much in this chapter. I hope you love reading this as much as I loved writing it! I felt that we slowly started getting the essence of AR back in this one! So yay!
Drop me a line and let me know how you like it. And, please stream the Mismatched S2 album IT IS SUCH A BOP! (That's where the title of the chapter comes from.)
Love, Prags
Edited by DMGThings - 1 years ago
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