This one is for you Faye 🤗
WOH AJNABEE
I have started hating the vivid reader in me... All the fairy tales are false! Does something like a happily ever after ever exist? All good things come to an end ... so I guess this is it... the end, I don't like to quit or give up or even back off but what am I supposed to do... It is time to say goodbye ... Good bye to my dreams ... Good bye to my fantasies ... Good bye to my Jatadhari
Three years of my life here and it feels like forever... I had resolved to not complicate my life any further after a bitter break up at the high school farewell party ... A stupid adolescent infatuation it was, I realize because what I feel now is more mature and absolutely real.
Life surely will not be the same again after the convocation ceremony and my much awaited graduation party. Yeah, I know I have a good job already all thanks to the campus placement but I am going to miss my college, the morning bus rides, the lectures, sky walk, the practicals, food courts, exams, Our Bulletin Board and CCD... CCD the place where a lot can happen over coffee and a lot actually did ...
flashback...
A lazy Saturday morning when me and my best friend Saumya are cursing our psychology professor for conducting an extra class... But before leaving for the class, Saumya drags me to CCD because she needs to have a slice of some fresh red velvet cake ...clear azure skies... warm sun... I check my wrist watch and realize I will be on time to catch up with my classmates after I stuff the red cream and cake in Somu's mouth, she cribs and I laugh... perfect start to the day. What more did I want! Coffees... yes my regular cup of coffee at CCD... Meeting a drowsy Gauri early in the morning is not advisable ... I can really scare the wits of any person because I am not in my senses ... A person HIGH ON CAFFEINE! That's right that's me.
"One Cappuccino please"...
"One Latte for me"...
That was the most amazing voice I have ever heard, the voice of a man ... A man man enough. I look back... I simply had too, I had to know what was he accurately made of ... Honey, caramel or brown sugar?
I look back and find what...? Deep-brown eyes that I could drown in forever! My heart fluttering forgetting its bodily function of pumping blood, I was able to feel little tingles in my skin when I saw him. A long haired bespectacled man wearing something so simple as a white T-shirt and Cargo pants ... He is so hot! My brain knocked me again and again ... I wanted to pretend careless but the idiotic me was staring at him from head to toe.
Suddenly there was magic in the air... something tugged at my heart strings, he is treachourously handsome I finally muster the courage to admit to myself ... He is busy on his phone ... Chanting SHUT UP SHUT UP to someone named Rudy ... He does not even know that I am standing close to him ... He does not even know that I exist
And me ...I could see stars and hear bells, a filmy kind of orchestra playing in the background ... So mesmerized by that voice I was tempted to touch him and before that I was wishing that he looks at me ... I am very pretty, PRETTY PRETTY!, My heart teased me ... Yes!!! A Gauri wearing an oversized T-shirt and leggings with a messy bun and no tinge of her signature kohl can manage to look Pretty!
"Stars... Bells! Get a hold on yourself."... I say to myself, The new chapter of Psychology should stimulate me more than this delicious looking Jatadhari. .. Wow! He even has a nickname now. Smacking the back of my head I take the coffee and walk away...
Stupid cupid was doing his rounds, I could literally feel The ringa ringa roses in my ears and I swear I did not want to fall down.
"Excuse Me"... I hear the voice again and then choose to ignore and then someone taps my shoulder ... I look back with an irritated pout ...
"OMG! He wants to talk to me!"... A sly grin formed on my lips, did he notice me? About what does he want to talk to me? Does he think I am pretty?
"I think you have taken my latte by mistake"... He offers me my own cup of coffee with a smile ... That smile! Damn that smile! Which brand of toothpaste does this man use? Whatever it is ... He should do TV commercials for toothpastes!
"Ooh... oops... Oh my freaking god " I hand over the coffee... and walk again, as embarrased as I can be ... my blonde moment!
Monday Morning... missed the bus, missed breakfast and missed a heartbeat... Familiar face there'... Missed everything for that Jatadhari ... Thank god he was there today almost hidden in a corner seat writing something, too busy to look around the place. I stand at a distance to admire him all absorbed like ink on his paper bur why did he make that bun I make a face while going to order my cup of coffee ... I hate that bun ... I like his long hair open ...suddenly I miss a step and fall flat on my face.
"I think you have fallen for me"... with a knowing smile and a hand stretched out... When did he walk up to me? Did he see that I was drooling at him? I am sure my hair looks like an angry bird's nest now.
I take the hand... mutter a "thank-you"... and try to walk away with false poise... but "Damn!"... I trip again. My shoes, the flooring or the tiles wet because of mopping ... What is the problem? I didn't dare look back ... He does not need to know what kind of a crazy chirraiyya I am
Tuesday... Wednesday ... the days stopped to matter... Cupid ...stealthily but steadily was at his work, I was a regular CCD customer now because so was he ... Today he was painting one of the walls in abstract ... The place was actually closed but they let me in after a lot of requesting ... The manager of that place was certainly interested to flirt with me but I was more interested to look at my man engrossed in coloring the wall ... A bead of red emulsion dripping down his jawline unintentionally ... Aaahhh! God please save me.
A glimpse here ... a stolen glance there... life was full of budding promises, a promise of seeing each other every day ... I used to look at him ... He certainly used to nod and then I don't know if I blushed
Another Saturday morning... a spring in my step, my ponytail bouncing on my head... a new song on my mind and damn the work attitude'... there is really something about Saturday mornings ... coffee only adds to the charm of it... I keep a count of all the things I had to do this weekend ... The class gang had planned a movie outing, Saumya wanted to go window shopping and I had a truckload of assignments to finish and then study for a viva ...
I wait at CCD for my coffee... "Hi"... my heart does a somersault, he tapped my shoulder for sure, he touched me again, he called me! and my knees turn jelly, wriggle viggle ... Jiggle jiggle! Such a bright smile, what am I supposed to do?Die Happily? He smiled at me, This specimen of Shankarji's Boon to Woman kind smiled at me! I thought... I was in a trance... tongue-tied and unable to respond, I look at him dreamily trying to register that he is shaking is head telling me something and before I realized he walks away with his cup of Latte
I let him walk away!'... How stupid was that!'... SILLY ME! Will he ever smile again at me'...again? The thought troubled me at the back of my mind...all day long, I was so irritated and frustrated that Saumya had to bear with my rant ... She did not talk to me for the whole day then ... Ohh you Zulfi Creature!
I decide to set him right...
New day...new hopes...new kurta, my favorite yellow colour kurta ... My hair on point and my eyeliner winged. I walk in to CCD...Oh him! With a good-looking female. I am so worked up because he was enjoying coffee with some one else. I enter the class in full Dabang swing and stomp off to my desk... and make notes like never before
Maybe they are just friends'... My heart tried to console me ... The nerve of his name too irresistible for me ... And I am again at CCD, sight the same gal with him ... too much for me to take, I am so much of the bad green eyed monster - jealousy takes over me, like no other emotion can be felt so strong I walk away, I sulk, I crib, I cry A LOT
Maybe he is not really my type I convince myself'... We have not talked a word till this very moment ... We just keep looking at each other whenever we are at CCD ... Maybe he is a very busy man to talk to me ... Maybe not interested ... Maybe I am not that good for him.
Days pass by... but the feeling of having lost something precious does not go away the emptiness is new, for long I am in a state of denial. Denial to the fact that it was not mere attraction... denial that there was something more... something more like love, we both will look good together she occasionally thought when her mind went blank after a tiring day.
Stupid Cupid is on a long holiday... My exams, my projects, my internship ... The whole academic brain drilling was taking a toll over me. Not that I forgot that man ... We still stole glances across tables at CCD ... But he is more of a cherished memory for me now.
Today is my last day ... an empty feeling within me, 'did I really lose him?' I spoke to my reflection in the mirror ...' If you don't ask ...the answer is always a no'... My heart said confidently
I had to ask...I had to know, what does he feel ... If good then good ... If not I have to be prepared for a heart break.
I left a message at CCD reception the day before ... asking him to meet me ... My message seemed more of a threat because I had clearly said that wherever he is, whatever he is doing ... I don't care ... I have to see him!
Coming back to present...
Sitting here at CCD... thinking about things... funny... sweet... and stupid... an hour passed by recollecting college memories the evening sky changed to a dark blue sky, with the stars twinkling bright ... but still no sight of him. I wanted to weep. Maybe he is genuinely not my type'. Time for me to leave then. ' GOOD BYE JATADHARI ...but not without my last cup of coffee here...
"One LATTEE please"... That is what he ordered when we first met.
"One Cappucino for me then "...
I look back...I simply had too...
I look back and find what...? Him! In that sinfully tempting black Kurta ... Is this man ever going to jae mercy on me ...
Suddenly I felt the air between us getting affectionately warmer.
And I stare at him from head to toe ... His Hair carelessly open! GOOD!
Om! I didn't think you would come'...
Oh my dear Gauri ...You care to ask me for a cup of coffee after three years two months and eleven days ... how could I have not'...
Stupid Cupid had struck right ... FINALLY!
Pushpa Impossible
