See you on the next wave - Page 11

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Nisha0604 thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago
I dont know the song Kalpana
I had no idea what it was, when she went missing and was told she was upset I posted "Young people these days are so emotional. They need to be strong. Dont give any man the power" etc etc.



But one of the last things she posted was "Oh I wish it was something as trivial as heart break"


She emailed me to say the conversation at the Sunday lunch table was about how she should cut off all her hair even before she gets chemo...and everyone of her favorite food was cooked by Mom that Sunday... her last Sunday meal I think...

Her menu for her fiance's family, the way she dressed up, all seems like yesterday.


Errantnomad thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago

Jo Bheji Thi Duaa
Woh Jaake Aasmaan
Se Yun Takra Gayi
Ki Aa Gayi Hai Laut Ke Sadaa

Kise Puchu Hai Aisa Kyu
Bejubaan Saa Ye Jahaan Hai
Khushi Ke Pal Kahaan Dhundoo
Benishaan Sa Waqt Bhi Yahaan Hai

Jaane Kitne Labon Pe Gile Hai
Zindagi Se Kai Faasle Hai
Base Jitte Hai Sapne Kyun Aankhon Me
Lakire Jab Chhoote In Haathon Se Yun Bewajah

(Jo Bheji Thi Duaa
Woh Jaake Aasmaan
Se Yun Takra Gayi
Ki Aa Gayi Hai Laut Ke )




VeeIyer thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago

Originally posted by: Nisha0604

I dont know the song Kalpana

I had no idea what it was, when she went missing and was told she was upset I posted "Young people these days are so emotional. They need to be strong. Dont give any man the power" etc etc.



But one of the last things she posted was "Oh I wish it was something as trivial as heart break"


She emailed me to say the conversation at the Sunday lunch table was about how she should cut off all her hair even before she gets chemo...and everyone of her favorite food was cooked by Mom that Sunday... her last Sunday meal I think...

Her menu for her fiance's family, the way she dressed up, all seems like yesterday.



The words are as fresh in my mind and Iam still unable to go back and read those mails or delete them. This is a wound which scabs over and bleeds everytime when picked on. 
Errantnomad thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago
How true Nisha!!!!If only it was as trivial as a heartbreak !!! True ... life in the bigger scheme of things!!!!

Vani I'm sorry. I understand your grief and pain as well knowing the connect you had with Nivi.
Nisha0604 thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago
Vani
I dont think I will ever love a invisible person as much as I love Nivi.
She had the remarkable capacity to be positive.

Even her emails from  bed werent one bit negative.

Dont know how she did it.
VeeIyer thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago

Originally posted by: Nisha0604

Vani

I dont think I will ever love a invisible person as much as I love Nivi.
She had the remarkable capacity to be positive.

Even her emails from  bed werent one bit negative.

Dont know how she did it.


The sad part is that she chose to hold onto all the pain herself as she did not want to burden her family with the weight and implications of her illness. She knew she had very days left and her family did not know that !!

I landed up being a random virtual soul who was the recepient of her angst in her last days. Though I wished Diva for her birthday today, both of us knew we were going thru the motions ...
Nisha0604 thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago
Vani
I am unable to comprehend what went through her mind when she went to get the test results how she made it back to her apartment...

At some point they all must have known

There is no greater pain when I realize that.

How could I forget Diva's Bday

She said Nivi sang for her and told her her flowers were by her bedside in the ICU, she was gone by the time Diva made it to the upstate NY hospital.



I feel for that kid Vani

Paavam... she has been scarred for life
VeeIyer thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago

Originally posted by: Nisha0604

Vani

I am unable to comprehend what went through her mind when she went to get the test results how she made it back to her apartment...

At some point they all must have known

There is no greater pain when I realize that.

How could I forget Diva's Bday

She said Nivi sang for her and told her her flowers were by her bedside in the ICU, she was gone by the time Diva made it to the upstate NY hospital.



I feel for that kid Vani

Paavam... she has been scarred for life


Nivi's parents would have known later,  but she was alone when she got the results, went back and spent an evening with Diva not breathing a word...just said Iam tired and got into bed.

Diva is Destiny's child and the blows she has received in her short twenty five years are what many of us put together would not have to undergo. She copes the best she can, but the chinks show up every once in a while 
Nisha0604 thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago
Kitten and socks

"This is just too much work. I dont think I have the energy to learn the 
western way of serving food and talk in English etc" Prakash Shanbag spooned out a big ladle of "egg curry" for his daughter for breakfast

"Mr Pai did not make it no?" she made a face

He nodded "Its 6 AM, he doesnt come in until 9, but you know..." he looked away

"When is he coming back?" she asked

"Umm.. dont know" he said quietly

"If we did nothing then what will happen Aanu?" she challenged

He looked at her curiously

"the bank will acquire the restaurant, we are so heavily in debt, 7 store fronts to our left the Fancy Store has been torn down and they are building a AC boutique" she said longingly

"You cannot end studies.. on hold and attend seminars learn the training, learn the food cooking steps..." he waved his arms in despair trying to speak in broken English.

She nodded... she was afraid, she didnt have the business acumen or the fire power to be a "entreprenuer"

"Umm.. they will do everything." she promised in Konkani about franchising

"60 lakhs? 70 lakhs?" "we dont have money" he reminded

She nodded... she was unable to promise help confidently yet the thought of shuttering it bothered her

Jayadev had come to the train station and rode with her on the bus to Ullal, and gone back to his room.

They held hands in the bus and walking to the restaurant, from the bus stop

It was good to be back in Ullal, big cities intimidated her
She was already convincing Jayadev that they need to stay put in Ullal or Mangalore after marriage

She reached and squeezed her father's limp hand, she wished she had the the drive... the fire inside her to do amazing things.

She didnt...

she was too talentless...

She had stacks and stacks of papers to parse through before college started Monday.
She did not have any understanding of setting up a business or operating a restaurant

She didnt know if she took it on, then would she have to give up her Ph D.

She wasnt exceling in it anyway.. she was quite mediocre in that too.

"I am thinking I should sell and get whatever I can from it, get your marriage done... and spend retirement" he said eagerly

The fight had long left him.
There wasnt much to begin with

Sanchet was the hustler... he was gone now.

Maybe Mrs Shanbag sensed her daughter was a timid gullible inexperienced soul, thats why she was steered into academia?

"If thats what you want... we can do that" she said quietly

She had a bunch of papers from the bank visit in Hyderabad

She had to go over them now to see what could be gained from selling

"You do good math I know you will come up with favorable numbers" he smiled displaying a gap in his upper teeth

"And I argue well" she smiled sheepishly

"I know... Jayadev was telling me how you do it" he whispered

She was self conscious

"You are supposed to take my side" she punched him playfully

"He said she is like a angry kitten when she wants to win a argument" Mr Shanbag used rare Konkani proverb to describe her

"I am not a business person but I am plucky" she said cheerfully

"He brought you a new saree did u see?" he asked in awe

She shook her head

"Aanu u spolied his surprise" she sulked

"Sshhh shhh shhh" he placed a finger on his lips and nodded innocently and winked, smoothing his daughter's hair

She went home to sleep and spent all day Saturday cleaning up and doing college homework and catching up on loan paper review.


Jayadev came at Noon Sunday and they made out in the living room quitting only when Mr Shanbagh's waiter showed up to take some pomfret from the frig for the restaurant.

He gave her the saree, and they walked to the restaurant... holding hands as they crossed the street...

A white Toyota Corolla  rental passed by.. she froze when she realized who was sitting by the driver... the silky haired man that didnt like to wear socks!!😳




Errantnomad thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago

Originally posted by: Nisha0604

Vani

I am unable to comprehend what went through her mind when she went to get the test results how she made it back to her apartment...

At some point they all must have known

There is no greater pain when I realize that.

How could I forget Diva's Bday

She said Nivi sang for her and told her her flowers were by her bedside in the ICU, she was gone by the time Diva made it to the upstate NY hospital.



I feel for that kid Vani

Paavam... she has been scarred for life



Oh God! This still sounds even more terrible. It's life situations such as this that makes us realize that life does make mockery of you.