Fiction : ~Once Upon A Summer.~ (Page 12.) - Page 8

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Moodie-Munchkin thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago
#71

Originally posted by: LOVE.GOLD

Loved it Shanu dear 

Awesome update love you lots πŸ€— 
I liked Siyali upfront view for Alien 
Jack was really sweet with her too 
Alen proposed Siyali and I loved how he put his point of view for this alliance 
Even what he said was exactly correct ... A normal man would obvious think this way 
Aby was irritated with his mother 
Her mother seems to be class conscious 
Let's see how this goes forward 
Thanks for the PM 
Continue soon πŸ˜Š


Glad you loved it so much Goldie. πŸ€—
Sayali was honest about her feelings with Alan and he appreciated that. 

Servat has much more to her.
Stay Tuned.
Moodie-Munchkin thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago
#72

Originally posted by: whiterose29

Loved the update πŸ˜ƒ

Sayali's sensibility is really praise-worthy at times. 😳 Lmao I cracked up at Ayedin & even Steven making faces on Ruby's OTT flirty actions. 🀣
Lo ji Ayedin's mother is so gonna be an interesting character πŸ˜†πŸ˜† I wanna read more of her. πŸ˜›

Thanks for the PM. πŸ€— Update soon. :D


Thank you Aashicim. πŸ€—
I'm so happy that you all are loving Sayali so much. <3

Ruby was quite a character. πŸ˜‰
Servat has so much more to unfold. πŸ˜†

Stay Tuned.
Moodie-Munchkin thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago
#73

Originally posted by: sehar mehrotra

*Unreserved*

Finally!! 

Okay first of all a happy dance  

We've waited so long for this update πŸ˜ƒ

Here goes my review of it (I'm kinda turning into that Rajeev Masand person πŸ˜† ):


I love how Sayali is so normal, any girl can relate to her emotions and her gestures. Her hesitance of being on a date with Alan and interacting more with Jack was so natural. Same way her views on being independent and earning to support herself and the family, it shows that she's a traditional girl with a modern outlook towards things. And I absolutely love this about her. 

The date venue beneath the twinkling stars sounds so romantic 

Chan. πŸ€—

Your comments are such a joyride including those cute emoji's you use! Having you on thread is no less than a carnival. <3

That happy dance one is so cute. :*

I'm just so happy that you guys are loving Sayali so much, I wanted to keep her in a way that every female here is able to connect with her, kinda we all did with Kashaf. Big Time. πŸ˜³

She loves being independent but that doesn't makes her rude or headstrong, and being traditional doesn't means for one to have a regressive or conservative thinking.

Trust me, the London Bridge under the stars is a breathtaking view! *_*

Alan sounds like a thorough gentleman, the old world types; who have chivalry and manners in their blood. I like such men πŸ˜³ . He obviously sounded a little heartbroken when he talked of his divorce and the toll it took on Jack  . 

Though he did take it a little too far 🀣 . Ever heard of the 3-date rule Mr Alan?   I understand his desperation but dropping a nuclear missile on Sayali's head was too much too soon  

Sayali handled the entire situation so brilliantly πŸ‘ . A standing ovation for the girl for all she said. She didn't mince words and conveyed everything amazingly well πŸ‘πŸ‘

And Alan took her response really well. I too hope he finds someone as nice as him πŸ˜ƒ

Alan is definitely a gentleman who has developed a liking for the girl who made his son walk out of that dark phase of his life, divorce can be really very hard for a family and specially for a child.

He did drop the bomb on her too soon, but guess he just wanted to confess his feeling considering that Sayali had been avoiding any outing with him. πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

Also, she has been very clear about her feelings from Day 1, hence she had to say it out loud without keeping him in false hopes. Alan was gracious enough to accept. πŸ‘

 

Meanwhile in another land,

A seductress trying to get her hands on Ayedin . His reaction to her gestures was so funny πŸ˜†, he was so un-interested in Ms Ruby πŸ€£

Steven's reaction was so us LMAO πŸ€£πŸ€£

The boys having a loving family moment with their Mum was adorable. They seem like a cheerful bunch πŸ˜ƒ. And that unified "Yup" to the Spaghetti question πŸ˜†. Save some for me too Ms Servat but without the meatballs πŸ˜³πŸ˜†

Ruby is quite a character, and I guess Steven's reaction was priceless. 🀣

Ayedin and Steven are typical brothers, it doesn't matters if they aren't related by blood. Their love for each other surpasses all of that. <3

Even I love spaghetti but with meatballs! πŸ˜ƒ

The dinner and the marriage convo,such a relate-able topic of discussion πŸ€£. Servat and her high society jargon. So she'll be the Kebab Mein Haddi in our Ayedin/Sayali story. Ooh Can't wait for the real life Spaghetti and Meatball aka Sayali and Ayedin 

The end of the date was so fitting to the entire evening, sweet and subtle πŸ˜³

Servat like I said, has much more to unfold of her real character and I'm excited for you guys to read it! πŸ˜³
Again, that yum emoji is duper cute! :*
Stay Tuned.

Moodie-Munchkin thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago
#74

Originally posted by: pcnsb

Res πŸ˜³ / Unres

I'm touching heights of procastination with every passing day I swear. πŸ€”
You haven't updated in two months, so I didn't unres. πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

Now, finally I'm here. 

Aww, I don't blame you! πŸ€—
You know how often I tell you about that I don't feel like doing anything at all, let alone writing and when I do that, I keep yawning! 🀣

Like we both agree on, that you should be inspired to do something. πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

The start was lovely. Sayali's hesitation on being on a date with Alan and her being involved with Jack than the man she's on date with was damn relatable.

Alan is the perfect gentleman, there's no doubt to that and I guess, Sayali even admired that about him. *Duh? We all do!*
He even tried his level best to make her comfortable but still, her being intimadated by his lavish lifestyle was both expected and justified.

I'm happy that y'all loved it so much. :')
You see Sayali has been very clear in both her feelings and body language about Alan, she wouldn't have agreed to it if he hadn't insisted on bringing Jack along.

Alan is a kind, gracious gentleman and Sayali respects that but then the class difference between them wasn't huge but unending. Being a simple girl she's bound to be intimidated, insecure around him cuz he's like the Senator.

I love how Sayali is strong and opinionated woman. Her thoughts on being able to support her family and be independent for herself is everyone of us. πŸ‘πŸ‘

Sayali is one character that I'm very proud of cuz she has streaks/traces from me. πŸ˜³
Even I'm opinionated at some points and extremely strong+stubborn when it comes to something/someone I dearly love or value .πŸ˜›
(You know that! <3)
It makes me happy that you guys love her so much.

I like how Alan proposed Sayali without gol mol baatein but still, I feel he could've waited a little, like a couple of dates more. I mean, the girl just came out with you for the first time and you straight away proposed her.
Aisa nahi hota Senator Baba! πŸ˜†πŸ˜† 

I guess he too is an adorable buddhuram when it comes to women like you know who. (No, it's not Voldemort) πŸ˜‰πŸ˜†

Firstly, that Sebator Baba cracked me up! 🀣🀣
I agree that he should've waited a little more dates instead of just blurting out the truth but then he just wanted to confess his feelings cuz he didn't know if Sayali would come out with him again or not. πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

Voldemort. 🀣
Haye! I just can't wait to introduce that buddhuram to all of them!

Again, the sensibility with which Sayali handled the situation was applaudable. 

Miss Ruby trying to seduce Ayedin with her OTT seduction. πŸ€£

And Ayedin-Steven's reaction to it. πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£

It was hilarious.

Serwat seems like an interesting character. Though, she love both her sons dearly, she appears to be a class conscious woman. The troublemaker in Ayedin and Sayali's story along with Sr. Chatterjee. πŸ€”

Sayali just decided to be upfront with her feelings without giving any false hopes to Alan which he appreciated. 

This Miss Ruby will have more colors to her. πŸ˜‰πŸ˜†πŸ˜†
And you got it right, Servat loves his sons but she has certain rules rather prejudices which will evolve soon.

Loved the update.

Update soon.

Glad you loved it so much. ❀️
Stay Tuned.

Edited by .Archangel. - 6 years ago
Moodie-Munchkin thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago
#75

Chapter -5.


"And that was it? Date khatam?" Bhumi asked keeping her coffee mug aside.

"Toh aur? What did you want it to be?" Sayali replied, taking a sip as she folded her legs and settled down on her bed comfortably.

"I mean, there would've been some romantic talks between you guys?" Sayali had to smile at the bemused look her sister was giving her.

"It would've been ideally, but uske liye there should be affection or atleast likeness from both sides." She replied taking the last sip of her coffee and keeping the mug aside.


"Di, aapse ek baat puchun? Do you ever intend to fall in love and get married?" Bhumi shifted closer to her sister.

"Of course I do. Even I want to fall in love, get married, have kids. Spend an eternity with the man I love, but... " Sayali trailed off as she lied down staring at the ceiling above.

"But?" Her sister asked intrigued, pushing her specs appropriately.

"I belong to that old school romantic group of women. Love isn't a Facebook status that you can hit it off in a few seconds reaching a million likes! Falling in and out of love is like a WiFi zone where everything is up and down in seconds.

Love should be without conditions, terms, agreements. It should be pure not perfect. If I love a guy, I wont tell him to get his nose done like Kim Kardashian cuz it's a bit out of place.

He shouldn't be telling me to wear itsy bitsy clothes like Paris Hilton or to starve myself to get a perfect figure like Katrina!" Sayali replied playing with a strand of her hair.


"Eww for Paris and Kim but Katrina, damn!" Bhumi nodded cutely.

"I know right, she's got such a fine body! Her fitness is envious." Sayali added, as Bhumi came to lie down beside her.

"Di? I really didn't know you had such beautiful ideas about love." Her sister added as both put up their cute socks feet on the wall in front.

"Just because, I don't talk about it doesn't means I don't think." Sayali pulled her sister's cheek.

Ratna quietly entered the girls bedroom, closing the door softly behind her. The charity dinner had ended quite late and by the time, Harsh and She returned home the girls had been asleep.

She took away the book from Bhumi that she had fallen asleep reading and took off the specs from her, gently.

Next, she gently covered her elder daughter, and dropped a kiss on her forehead after caressing her hairs.

"You're so brave. So brave sweetheart! More than I ever have been, I may not say enough but I'm so proud of you, so proud." Ratna whispered softly with a smile.

Getting up she covered her younger daughter, gave her a kiss too and walked out quietly.


"Abi?" Steven glanced up from the comics he was reading.

"Hmm?" Ayedin responded as he shot a dart which hit right in the middle.

"You slapped Dimitri today. I mean you use violence as the last resort, but you lost your temper when he apparently served that girl on a platter!" He asked, finally adding 2+2 together.

The Turk turned and smiled at his baby brother.

"Women have to be one of the most mystical, beautiful creatures to be created by that supreme power. And women like her... Did you see her Steven? That fearlessness? That fire?

Her soul is made from that fire which destroys everything in it's way, but then did you see those eyes? When she held her sister and mother? That softness... She's not just fire but Earth as well, that loves. nurtures." Ayedin explained his cocoa eyes, shining as Steven looked at him awed.

"Abi? I think I have a conclusion." He spoke up as Ayedin danced his eyebrows asking what?

"But I won't tell you right now." Steven announced getting back to his comics as Ayedin threw a pillow at him.


Th Next Morning..

Finishing up the last toast in her plate, Sayali got up, straightening her dupatta as Bhumi went in to take her school backpack.

"Maa, I might be late today. I'll call to inform." She called out to Ratna who walked out carrying a tea tray.

"Why?" Harsh looked up from his newspaper.

"I have to visit some lawyers regarding our house. I can't have those buffoons lining outside our door again." Sayali replied, putting her cellphone in her bag.

"It isn't your headache." Harsh added firmly, putting the newspaper down.

"Excuse Me? How it isn't? It's my house, It's my family." Sayali retorted back, as Bhumi held on to her sister's arm.

"Is it too much to ask you to behave like a decent young woman? Kal ko you have to get married! Which sensible guy would ask for your hand seeing your activities?" Her father replied, getting up.

"Oh.. So you want me to sit at home, gossip, read fashion magazines and have tea parties to be a decent young woman? I'm sorry Dad, but I can't. I care for my family, and just because some guy won't ask for my hand, I can't sit here like a wimp." Sayali snapped back tired of her father's interjections and walked out holding Bhumi's hand.


It was a clear sunny day as people in the neighborhood came out of their homes. Lawn Sprinklers rotated splashing water around as kids played in it, while some adults sunbathed in their lawn chairs.

A 90's hip hop song was playing out on the stereo loud and still she could hear those hushed whispers that were doing rounds as she and her sister walked towards the bus stand.

Overnight, they became the topic to be talked about all thanks to the scene created in front of their house.

"By the way, keep this." Ignoring it all Sayali placed a few pounds in her sister's palm.

"Why?" Bhumi looked up at her sister.

"I know it's bake sale in your school today, so I want you to enjoy that's it." Sayali smiled ruffling those curly hairs.

"You know I didn't need it." The younger one smiled at her sister.

"I know, but you need to loosen up a bit Einstein!" The elder one winked at her younger sibling as the bus honked around the corner.


Sayali looked at the attorney seated in his plush leather chair, as she tapped her fingers irritatingly. The man from last 55 minutes, was looking through the papers with an occasional "hmm."

She had appointments with other lawyers as well.

"So what do you think?" Giving up on her patience, she asked keeping her palm on the table.

"Hmm.. Miss.." The middle aged lawyer adjusted his silk tie.

"Sayali." She snapped at him.

"Yes, Of course. Uh.. from whatever I studied it isn't clear that the land or house belonged to your grandfather as you claim. It can be an acquired property." He replied, blankly and apparently bored.

"So? There isn't any way?" Sayali replied, lines of worry evident on her face.

"There is. Actually I can keep postponing the case for you, and even put in a clause or two. You and your family can live without a care in the world." The attorney answered, smiling for the first time.

"And I should keep paying you your fees, right? No offense but the amount I would spend on your fees for a year in that I could rent a place and live happily." Sayali snapped firmly as she snatched the file from him and walked out.


A blonde smiled at Sayali as she got into the bus and patted the vacant seat next to her.

"Where are you up and about?" Linda, Their neighbor and a waitress at the cafe Sayali worked.

"Had meetings with some lawyers for the house issue." The latter smiled at her friend.

"Okay, any luck?" She asked, her baby blue eyes gentle.

"Not Yet. I've some more appointments tomorrow. Let's see." Sayali replied with a tired sigh.

"You have the evening shift today, don't you?" Linda added to which she nodded.

They got down at their stop, talking and Sayali offered to help with the grocery bags for her friend's both hands were full.

Nora, Linda's daughter was playing in the front lawn as they came in who ran to her mother, her little ponytail flopping in the air.

She was a single mother who took a divorce from her alcoholic abusive husband.

As Sayali finished keeping the groceries in the kitchen, Nora wrapped her little palm around her finger pulling her out in the lawn.

"Can you please weave flowers in my hair, Miss Sayali?" Nora requested in her cute voice, her eyes were as blue as her mother.


"Okay, but after this we'll go to the ice cream shop round the corner. Just you and me! We'll have an extra scoop of your favorite blackcurrant crush!" Sayali added, booping her little nose.

"You've spoiled her with those ice cream treats!" Linda spoke up from the kitchen making Sayali chuckle as she tickled the little girl whose bubbling laughter echoed in the summer air.


Plaiting Nora's hair wasn't very difficult with little summer blossoms from the shrubs in the garden. The little girl animatedly told her about her playschool, her teachers and her friends while Linda busied herself in making lunch and even insisted her friend to stay.

A football suddenly came bouncing and hit Nora on the arm, thankfully Sayali had shielded the little girl otherwise it would've hurt her.

"Are you okay sweetie?" She asked rubbing her little arm to which Nora nodded, her blue eyes filled with tears.

Sayali gave her a kiss, wiped the moisture from her eyes and holding her hand walked out into the street.

That mean group of adult guys looked at her with a smirk.

"Give our ball Miss India!" One of them taunted and the group broke into snickers of laughter.

"I should've guessed, it couldn't be anyone else than you assholes! Showing your masculinity on little kids, how pathetic!" She spoke up, venomously.

"Aww, would you call UNICEF then?" The same guy taunted again and the group chuckled.

"I have a much better idea, why don't you guys let me play a mini match with you? And we can see who needs to call UNICEF and who needs to call their mamma!?" Sayali snapped back as kept her feet on the ball.

Their head or the Big D, Mike chuckled.

"It isn't like making those Indian breads and tandoori chicken!"

"We'll see!" She replied tying up her dupatta to the side.


Effortlessly she guided the ball through the obstacles and kicked it hard enough to bounce off the forehead of one their gang members and straight into the goal post.

Nora jumped up clapping with her little hands.

"College Football Team, Center Forward! I know how to score a goal and cook rotis along with tandoori chicken. If you're mean, I'm the mother of badasses." Sayali spoke up, and walked back as the other ran around for ice pack for their team member who got hit by the ball.

Edited by .Archangel. - 6 years ago
Gold.Abrol thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago
#76
Loved it Shanu dear 
Awesome update love you lots πŸ€—
Siyali and Bhumi talks were cute 
She indeed has some beautiful ideas about love ... Even Bhumi teased her well on her date πŸ˜†
Abi is too impacted by Siyali ... I think he had not came across some strong women 
Even when he described her as Fire and Earth his friend teased him ... But Abi was right she has a balanced personality 
Linda story was bitter but Nora was adorable 
Siyali indeed has great compassion for kids 
I loved how siyali answered those bully's in their way ... & that line I am mother of badness πŸ‘ too good 
Ek ko to behosh bhi kar diya ball se πŸ˜†
Waiting for more
Thanks for the PM 
Continue soon πŸ˜Š
sehar mehrotra thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago
#77
Finally after 2 months 
Actually I read it a few days back on my phone, but I wanted to comment from the computer. So here I am πŸ˜†πŸ˜† a little late as always πŸ˜†

_____

Bhumi's reaction to Sayali's Date-Sum-Up was adorable πŸ˜†. Poor Kid she had all sorts of fairytale romances in mind but Sayali burst her little bubble lol.

Sayali has such a mature idea of love, I'm impressed πŸ‘πŸ‘. I personally agree with everything she said. These days love has become such a facade. Ahh! I guess I too am an old soul like Saya (Yayy I've a nick name for her πŸ˜†πŸ˜‰)!

Our boy Ayedin is super smitten by the Bengali Bala . The way he described Saya lol, our boy has given that 5 minute meet-cute or rather meet-squabble way too much thought πŸ€£. If I was Steven I'd have pulled my Abi's leg so bad πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

Harsh sounds like a typical Indian male, I'm sure he loves her and wants to protect his daughter. But Saya is such a fierce soul, she doesn't need protecting πŸ˜³πŸ˜³. She just needs to be loved and appreciated πŸ˜ƒ

I enjoy reading Saya/Bhumi scenes, they sound so genuine and filled with sisterly love πŸ˜³πŸ˜³

The meeting with the lawyer, lol. 

Saya sure has a thing for the tiny humans, she gets along with all the kids so well πŸ˜³

The jerks on the football field, glad our girl taught them a thing or two about actual football πŸ‘πŸ‘. Go girl!
whiterose29 thumbnail
Anniversary 13 Thumbnail Group Promotion 7 Thumbnail + 7
Posted: 6 years ago
#78
Finally read it!
I must say that this writer-reader duo is out of this world. πŸ˜› You take two months to update & I take another month to read/comment! 🀣🀣

Well I'm late I know πŸ˜” But reading this update was totally a delight, as always. 😳
Loved Sayali's thoughts about love. ❀️ I so agree with each word she said, even though if it means being an old school romantic woman. 😳 There's nothing wrong about it, no? πŸ˜ƒ

And here out Ayedin Bey is completely in awe of her. πŸ€ͺ Steven pulling his leg was so amusing! πŸ˜†πŸ˜† Really want to read more of these two. <3

So Sayali once again gives a proof of her fearlessness & meets up the lawyer, almost against her father's permit. Kind of amused me how she walked off after the meeting. πŸ˜†

Loved the scene with Nora. So lovable. ❀️

Looking forward to the next update Canim! πŸ€— Please please be quick this time. 😳
Moodie-Munchkin thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago
#79
Redid the index and the title. :)
Moodie-Munchkin thumbnail
Posted: 5 years ago
#80

Originally posted by: .Archangel.

Redid the index and the title. :)


Will update it this month. :D