Posted:
Hello to everyone on the JNDSD forum!
I am Hinal, and I've been a silent member on this forum since quite some time now. Though I don't really watch it anymore, I am in love with Atharva and Vividha 😳
And considering I don't really speak to anyone here, a quick intro about me is the fact that I am a self-proclaimed writer, with a penchant for writing! So I thought I'd make an introductory post with a short OS on the couple I cannot seem to get over
I wrote this quite some time ago, but didn't get a chance to post it up.
I hope you guys enjoy it! Please don't forget to let me know what you thought of it too 😃
Love, Hinal
Convergence
The farther away you went from me, the closer you came to me. The paradox consumed me to the lengths of engulfing my entirety. I had lost myself in the meaningless facade of daily life, with the only ounce of sanity left coming from our memories, but that too, only at night.
They only came when I became me.
Vividha Atharva, instead of Vivida Vashist as I'm called these days.
She was lost somewhere inside of me, rarely resurfacing from the confines. Maybe this was a conscious choice I made, but that did not mean that I was not aware, or fearful, of what was to result from this decision.
Losing that part of me would mean losing you, again. I somehow survived the first time - if you consider what I'm doing right now as living, - but I knew I couldn't go through that again. Not without losing myself forever.
I looked in the mirror, a pale figure staring back, her eyes devoid of emotions. Breathing in slowly, I opened my drawer. Pulling out what I had always assumed would bring me joy of being with the one I loved, I stared intently at the figure.
Gathering the courage after a while, I finally put a tiny pinch of sindoor. My shoulders slouched and my frame weakened as I collapsed onto the floor despairingly.
Tears flooded my eyes unannounced, surfacing to reality the hollowness I felt inside of me ever since he left.
No, ever since he was made to leave!
In all of our time together, not once did I listen to him. He always knew... he always knew the truth of my father. He recognized the apathy in him long before I could even question my father's goodwill.
I tried to wipe off the tears, but that only made room for more.
The farther he went, the closer he came.
The more I tried to be the perfect wife to Ravish, the more I realized that was impossible.
Ravish was kind, he was good. I knew I respected him, similarly his family.
But he wasn't mine. He wasn't my Atharva, and his family weren't my Sujata chachi. No one could replace them. Not in my life, not in my thoughts, and definitely not in my heart.
I wiped off the sindoor, latching onto the fleeting spark of determination I had just discovered in myself. Looking into the mirror yet again, I gazes at the woman in front of me. She smiled, another rarity observed after ages.
"I'll find you Atharva, you can't leave me alone;" I had made up my mind. I penned out my feelings onto the first piece of paper I found and began, "I'm sorry Ravish."
I faced the family, tears in my eyes and theirs. But we felt differently.
I was enlightened, and they... they felt betrayed.
"I know I've done you all wrong, especially Ravish. But apart from my apologies, I really have nothing else to offer you!"
I knew I'd be resented forever, but at least they'd be able to move on eventually. At least Ravish will find someone he deserves.
But more than anything, at least I wouldn't lose myself; I'd had enough of pleasing others. I packed my bags and headed out to find that one person who gave me this strength. The strength to take a stand for myself. To not be a victim of destiny, as I would assume prior to meeting Atharva.
I was willing to take a stand for us this time. For him, the one who empowered me and freed me from all the restraints.
I whispered my last sorry to Ravish before heading out the door, but not before catching another glimpse at the woman in the mirror.
"No matter where you are Atharva, I will find you. Our paths will converge once again, whether anyone likes it or not."
The woman smiled, a tinge of hope and an abundance of determination sparkling in her eyes as she walked out.
"Atharva Sujata, I'm coming for you!"
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