Lift the dhanush and prove your bhakti- Janak - Page 4

Originally posted by: Ramyalaxmi

I mentioned in my previous post that women should first protect themselves before dealing with the issue. It does not mean we are abala naari. Even to play sports the players take the precautionary measures, so do we. 

When you deal with virus, u cant do expt with cell culture without any environmental secure procedures apart from ur safety. Same holds here, yes we can fight for our rights of freedom only when the person in front has the sense to understand what we say. 

So in a sense manusmriti is right first free the world especially men from evil thoughts, the rest fall in place.

Originally posted by: Arshics

And I feel that men and women are not different. Men will not change till women empower themselves

We need to not need protection from anyone! As long as we believe that till men change we need to be defensive - there is no pressure on society to change ! 

Change will happen only when we women demand change 

I said we should protect ourselves first before action and not asking protection from others. Why should we "demand" changes and from whom? Are they superior to grant or reject our demand? For me, change the mentality first then no need of any demand from anyone. Edited by Ramyalaxmi - 8 years ago

@Arshics if you read my first post, you will understand I was telling should men like Ravan be protected by chaste woman like Mandodari.  Edited by shruthiravi - 8 years ago

Originally posted by: shruthiravi

@Arshics if you read my first post, you will understand I was telling should men like Ravan be protected by chaste woman like Mandodari. 

But if we have men like Raja Janak in life what is the harm in respecting or listening to them. They never take away our freedom. I only meant if men love and respect a woman, naturally a woman feels secure in the relation. She wont break the relation. If you see today large section of women not wanting marriage, divorces are related to lack of respect towards women. Society is blaming women's progression for this. But the fact is education has made women demand rights, while men are unable to move according to times. 

And we also need to understand that for a stable society marriages has to work. And for that to work women has to defend themselves, choose the right men who are capable themselves and also know the value of the women in their life.

Women manage relations and it is in the success of a woman managing the relations the fabric of society lies. For that she needs to feel the relation not as bandhan, but as change. 

I only meant Manu would have meant make women feel the relation as that of love and not that of bondage, then she will accept the relation and manage the relation for a better society

Not the way our current society intreprets. Subserviant women or abala nari.  And you know me I am a hard core feminist and does not propagate abla naris and cry babies as the ideal women😆😆

Nice post Shruti! Mandodari is taken for granted by Ravana. Whatever misdeeds he does she prays for him being a "Pativrata" which gives him confidence to behave as he wishes and create terror.

My opinion may not be popular but I don't think 50-50 is possible in a relationship at all times.
the percentage may vary, going from 60-40 to 70-30 to 20-80 even. One individual may take the lead and the other follow at one time and positions may be reversed at another time.

I think what matters is mutual respect at all times. Deferring to someone's opinion does not mean losing on your self respect. It simply means acknowledging that the other person's opinion is better suited to the given point in time!

Men and women are not natural adversaries like the snake and the mongoose or some such thing. They need to co-exist and complement each other. They need not take adversarial positions at all times. Instead, if they learnt to respect each other and accept their natural differences as advantages rather than weaknesses, the world would be a better place.

I believe the Ramayan and the characters of Ram and Sita need to be seen in their totality. It is not about one particular instance or the other. There are instances where they've showed us what to do and others, where they've asked us to guard against the very things that they had to go through!

I do not believe Ram disrespected Sita at any point. He did certain things in consonance with yugadharma. These things may not be acceptable today but then, is it even fair to sit in judgment by looking at them through the prism of a dharma different to the one practiced then? Even there, the broad principles are clearly laid down in terms of gender parity. Like I said there are examples that we need to learn from, one way or the other!

For me, the greatest love story in the world, apart from everything else, is that of Ram and Sita!


Edited by BertieWooster - 8 years ago

@Bertie most of us are talking about give and take only. We cannot exactly measure it. But the understanding and respect for partners sacrifice has to be there at all times. Then things will work. And agree to you Ram-Sita story is the eternal love story.

Originally posted by: shruthiravi

@Bertie most of us are talking about give and take only. We cannot exactly measure it. But the understanding and respect for partners sacrifice has to be there at all times. Then things will work. And agree to you Ram-Sita story is the eternal love story.

I made that point since there is so much of emphasis on equality, Shruthi...and that implies 50-50...!

I think you might achieve that over a lifetime but not every single time...and this is the point I keep stressing on to my daughter...today's generation has rather skewed perceptions of equality...and this is the cause of a lot of marital disharmony..that is my point 😊
Edited by BertieWooster - 8 years ago

Originally posted by: BertieWooster

My opinion may not be popular but I don't think 50-50 is possible in a relationship at all times.
the percentage may vary, going from 60-40 to 70-30 to 20-80 even. One individual may take the lead and the other follow at one time and positions may be reversed at another time.

I think what matters is mutual respect at all times. Deferring to someone's opinion does not mean losing on your self respect. It simply means acknowledging that the other person's opinion is better suited to the given point in time!

Men and women are not natural adversaries like the snake and the mongoose or some such thing. They need to co-exist and complement each other. They need not take adversarial positions at all times. Instead, if they learnt to respect each other and accept their natural differences as advantages rather than weaknesses, the world would be a better place.

I believe the Ramayan and the characters of Ram and Sita need to be seen in their totality. It is not about one particular instance or the other. There are instances where they've showed us what to do and others, where they've asked us to guard against the very things that they had to go through!

I do not believe Ram disrespected Sita at any point. He did certain things in consonance with yugadharma. These things may not be acceptable today but then, is it even fair to sit in judgment by looking at them through the prism of a dharma different to the one practiced then? Even there, the broad principles are clearly laid down in terms of gender parity. Like I said there are examples that we need to learn from, one way or the other!

For me, the greatest love story in the world, apart from everything else, is that of Ram and Sita!

Originally posted by: Arshics

I agree with you, true equality is an idealistic goal, and hence never really possible. But so should true inequality not be the way of life. 

Different couples will have different equations, and that will emerge from their innate personalities _ the objections are to women always having to be subservient to men, and to suppress their talents and creativity and limit themselves ! 

@bold

Even the same couple will have different equations at different points in time 😊

Nobody is subservient to anybody...and like someone else said earlier in the thread, it is for us to appreciate and assume our strengths and move forward...and for men to understand and appreciate the same...and vice versa of course...of course, within a relationship, there is the common courtesy of consultation...but certainly not subservience..!
Edited by BertieWooster - 8 years ago