Originally posted by: moonwearer
Sorry for sharing a personal reference point...i feel that is essential to give credibility to possibilities and not appear as arm chair critics observation of parenting.
My son was the only child in both my biological and married family till he was ten. Everybody doted on him but we never went overboard in what we gave him. He used to take the public transport and traveleed alo0ne to Chennai and back by train . We maynot be affluent but definitely we could afford to get him stuff which we chose not to do. He had his bank account and any deposit he made i matched the amount. We gave him a phone when he joined PUC he took a summer job and upgraded the phone he could explain more features in a Nokia N70 and 90 and Nokia wanted him to train folks in other cities. He did an internship in Goldman as he wanted to. His friends got cars for their 18th birthday. He mentioned to me and seeing my smile said NO AMMA I AM SHARING AN INFO NOT ASKING I KNOW YOU WILL SAY HAVE THE THRILL OF BUYING YOUR 4 WHEELER SONNY BOY. At 18 he used the money in his account to cover part of the cost of the two wheeler he got .He got a job in Google just after Graduation and he said he wanted to join and that he wanted to fund his higher education, or if his company would fund work towards it as that is what would make him feel good. Uses money to go backpacking around the world.
We discussed professional matters tried explaining economics as best we could. I see the same with some of his friends his best friend's dad sold a startup for 500 crores. The boy would travel from Mysore road to Dairy circle by Public transport.. We as parents needn't lecture and rant , kids of this generation when we provide the exposure are able to understand.
I have students who because of reservation cant get into the course of their choice on marks. They tell me we dont want to pack Gandhi's face in briefcases and make offerenings to somebody. We will definitely work our way through college and career. I guess that is what we as adults can instill in kids. Not an attitude of entitlement or comparison. Folks with that comparing attitude will forever find something to crib about.
This morning Nisha had given her perception of luck...I think the greatest asset we can leave for a child is the right attitude.
I have doted on Shravu like he was a sibling
I have had squabbles with him
We have schemed and hatched pranks together
After I started working I have pandered to his whims
Treated him to goodies far beyond what Akka would or could have
I have taught him to rebel tutored him to use his pester power
Enrolled him in courses that would give him a head start
I have been warned to keep off Akka's kids, I have been made to realize they don't belong to me
Shravu is very competitive and wants a say in things beyond his age
He compares and desires the things Nandu has
A fiasco we already had another seems brewing in the air
I know its unfair to break a kids heart, yet we need to create and sustain boundaries
Ensuring they don't go out of hand. Parenting is a challenge and will test me to the core
My kids and Akkas will be vested with different material access
A sore point it shall forever be, crackers and gadgets, hobbies and holidays
Clothes and the attention they get will always be poles apart
As of now all I can think of is the Dad' away from me.
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