Blast from the Past Thread #29 **Aana To Tha Hi** Pg 23, Epi 346 - Page 32

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Horizon thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
And, that Khushi in front of the fire promptly reminds of a poignant image of  a man from many months ago, with the fire inside of him raging outside.....

Stunningly stoic...








aarwen thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
stunningly stoic.. you are mastering edits Indu di..
sab kehta hai wo samajhte hai par koi kuch nahi samjhta.. 


still rings in my ears..
indi52 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: Horizon

And, that Khushi in front of the fire promptly reminds of a poignant image of  a man from many months ago, with the fire inside of him raging outside.....

Stunningly stoic...










started from the last page and look what i found.

fabulous, indu... dil is happy and mind is abuzz.

indi52 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
episode 339

was there ever such gussa
or such exploding red angry love.


in a whole edifice collapsing, like that guest house of 27... something stood rock steady and unshakable this episode. the character of asr.

that anger of his. a part of him inalienable. so thickly entrenched, so true, it almost starts looking beautiful; and when it erupted without restraint, violent and expressed, i felt a rush, a breathing out in relief.

yes yes yes i know this anger and it is authentic, without compromise and sugar coating.

what's more, this time, in this situation, it is justified and really this would be the way arnav singh raizada would react to feeling utterly betrayed by someone he loves.

for that is how he felt when he heard his beloved had brought the wrong one, the galat one, back. incalculable hurt there. anyone else doing this might have been bearable, but "
khushi, koi aur agar yeh karta toh main sah leta... lekin... tum?!"

sah leta. touching.

had it been anyone else, i'd have borne it, but... you?!


the moment the others had left the room, he turned and cut her mid sentence, grabbing her wrist and dragging her up the steps, rough, furious, not thinking, just feeling... raging.

how many times i have seen him do this, sometimes his action has seemed extreme till i've looked into his eyes. always there a pain, almost remorse, oh that day in the office when he'd raged, "nahin hai dil asr ke seene mein," and then ached stoically watching her tears... over time that look has changed and become clearly identifiable as love. she is part of him, he can't be without her... which is why everything hurts so much, much more than with anyone else. even di can't hurt him the way khushi can.

i wonder about this young man who is wrapped in his cloak of anger, out to destroy his demons and dare life... and prevail. his nearest and most loved let him down terribly once. maybe that's why he has hardened his heart, sworn, never again. he was not going to let anyone close. no maybe about it... it is so.

which is why, "
i always knew it... kabhi kissi ko itni kareeb nahin aane deni chahiye... kyunki phir wahi log... wahi log tumhe chot pahunchate hain..."


i always knew it... don't ever let anyone come so close... then those very people... will turn around and deliver you hurt. (a bit of literal translation there... for that delivering of hurt, the suggestion of deliberate action in it feels important in the context.)

he has been to this feeling before. at fourteen. and he cannot bear the strike again. the pain ricochets it seems to me between now and that day, the anger going further and further out of control. his only defence... this flare up.

that word "chot", why can i almost feel it hit my heart when asr says it. i sense him struggling with that chot of his. the day he had brought her back from the temple after marrying her without any explanation, dragging her just the way he did today, even then he had spoken of his "chot" and refused to say what it was.

barun sobti had once mentioned that it was asr's sensitivity that was key. it is. an extremely sensitive tender heart in that strident, arms akimbo, feet firmly planted fearless man.

funny how, the girl who would love him completely would not understand that. at one level, that is fine i guess because life is often that way. what was not fine was the manner in which khushi brought shyam back. and even more not right was the self righteous air she donned about it... she said she was right and what's more she actually thought his sister might not have lived if she hadn't done as she had. saviour, huh.

that was perhaps the most insensitive thing i'd heard in a long time. he reacted instantly, surging toward her, i thought he might hit her. maybe she thought that too... it was a beautifully crafted moment. the directors and actors all keenly focussed on the interplay of emotions there. deserves a gif. it plays in my mind in a loop.

an air of unfair hung about the whole scene. he'd hurt her immeasurably once saying she was the reason shyam had strayed... but he had understood soon enough that he should never have said that and rushed back to make amends. he'd tried for days to make up, set things right. but here, it's as though khushi has suddenly lost all empathy. plus she is adorned in self importance. is this really khushi?

but that there is asr. no doubt about it. angry, outright, straightforward, impetuous and emotional. it was a joy to watch him. and he was not exactly sweet and politically correct as he raved. he was human.


that marvellous possessiveness over his sister, "woh meri di hai... main unke liye faisla le sakta hoon." she's my elder sister, i can decide for her.
what's good or bad for di, i know well... he does actually.

there was also that beautiful asr khushi signature forward backward walk over anger...

a quiet magnificence in his resigned and slowly getting back into shell delivery, "galati meri hai... ki maine tumhe apne itne kareeb aane diya... issliye tumne aaj apni had paar ki...mera bharosa toda hai..." it's my fault, that i let you come so close to me, which is why you crossed your limit today and broke my trust.

had she understood him even for a moment. but no.

she said di might have died. extremely bad taste apart, this was such nonsense.

just leave. khushi, chali jaao yahan se. i said.. go!

he just wanted her to go, maybe because he couldn't trust himself in that state. he is perhaps also the kind who needs his solitude to get back to even keel. loneliness, his most trusted companion.


if i mention again and again about barun sobti's acting, this is the reason... classic communication in his portrayal really. he paints deftly a few strokes of character, and invites you in, to feel the rest, fill in the gaps. an open, generous mien to the acting. it always lets you in... even when he yells go, just leave!


he may be angry with her, but he will love her and he will protect her and even if she has allowed shyam in, he will not allow shyam anywhere near her, not even in his thoughts.

"khabardar agar usska naam bhi apne zubaan par laaye toh!" don't you dare even bring her name to your lips, he said through clenched teeth, a different kind of fury igniting the air when shyam tried his wheedling. fury grips him unreined at the very thought of shyam anywhere near khushi. this protective/possessive thing is just plain exciting and feels extremely asr.

after all that anger is out and he is a bit settled, that beautiful missing at night. a grown man with a love that is melded in him, a need for his woman, a need for her no matter what... nothing to justify, nothing to show others, his conversations are all with himself. a delving at what transpired, what he said in the heat of the moment. his own words hurt him. he always needs her. does she even understand that? or is a "good girl" not supposed to?

a sad rabba ve rises... khushi's expression is almost petulant.


restlessness in the morning... a laptop snapped shut. jaws gritted. you pace you ache.

she makes jalebi... is it a bit too pat, i wonder. a trifle hackneyed? there is as if no development in her character and what was charming and real once is now just an easy way out. lazy writing.

he has been harsh and he feels its reflected pain.

you turn swiftly before you can change your mind... and pick up the phone. i think of the many times this simple instrument has been your way of reaching her, connecting... with gussa, with pyaar.

she's listless, she sees your name, she is happy instantly... but then... oh that age old lovers' game. she won't talk to you...

you call again...

i feel like tracking every second of this restlessness.

what the... you say.

a slightly lighter note enters frame. so the tide is turning... isn't it a little preciptous? the timing not quite right? a bit of a rush to get into a light happy mood.

she puts the phone in the veg basket and covers it with spinach. khushi cuteness being established again. this is supposedly her... something is getting lost from an episode that had felt real.

he chucks the phone... well at least everything and everyone has not changed.

"di, please! stop it," he snaps at his sister, and this time he will not rush to make her feel better. he is upset angry hurt... this separation from khushi, this angst with her... he can't take it...
lovely understanding of lovers.



Edited by indi52 - 9 years ago
DurgaS thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: sohara


it is fabulous. 
Good idea to put the whole remarriage in one place. You not only depicted the rasam of the remarriage but the real one along with this. beautiful incorporation.
the edits also are nice.
It was actually the thought of Arnav.
Arnav and Khushi are soul mates and is made for each other. So their unison was inevitable.
and what a perfect title you chose, "tum meri ho."


 
Thanks Sohara. As I had said, I was in two minds whether to depict in parts or all together, but decided on the later. Though writing all at a time was strainful, but the result was good, so all happies. 😃 


Sorry I am super duper late in replying. 
DurgaS thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: aarwen

wanted to share this.. Khushi.. when she looks at him..

 
Lovely Rhea. This is the chap gaya moment for Khushi. Nahin mit sakta, cannot be erased. Every time when she thought of doing something, it was always this scene, the emotions that this moment carried, that stopped her always, making her vulnerable and indirectly a culpri,t accused of things that she never thought would come her way. 😭 

Javeria3991 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: DurgaS

  

Disclaimer: Please do not copy my work anywhere. If you do, please give credit. 


Episodes 319 - 353 


Khushi feels that their marriage took place in a hurry because of which none of the rasams could take place. During the remarriage, Arnav keeps reminding her how most of the rasams had taken place before their marriage and that she has become his, since long. 


Tum Meri Ho 



Do dilon ke pyaar ke darmiyaan aaya zamana
Pyaar se badhkar nahin rasme, ye kaise samjhaana
Apni hi patni ko hai ab phirse paana
Tum meri ho ... bahut pehle ho chuki ho



Thaal mein sajaakar shagun jo diya
Aisi hi ek thaal pehle bhi tha diya
Haath pakadkar, tumpar apna haq jataa liya
Tum meri ho ... bahut pehle ho chuki ho
 


Ek waqt tha jab chaand par dikhti tumhari udaasi ki parchaayi
Ab chaand ko dekhun, to dikhti hai hasee tumhari
Wohi muskurahat ab mere chehre pe hai chaayi
Tum meri ho ... bahut pehle ho chuki ho


 
Pyaar ki anghooti dobara pehnaaya
Jab pehle dil ka dhaaga ungli pe baandha tha
Tabse hi ye bandhan apna jud gaya
Tum meri ho ... bahut pehle ho chuki ho


 
Gaalon ki laali, dohraya waqt purana
Yaad aaya shart wo,  jo tha poora karna  
Tab bhi dhoond rahi thi jaane ka bahana
Tum meri ho ... bahut pehle ho chuki ho


 
Phir aaya mehendi mein naam ka khayal
Mehendi ke A' ne pehle bhi kiya tha bawaal
Par isee naam se tab bhi huye they haath laal
Tum meri ho ... bahut pehle ho chuki ho
 


Mere gaal ki haldi lagayi thi dupatte pe
Ab main khud lagaadoon tumhare gaalon pe
Pehle bhi to na thi doori, par ab paas aa gaye
Tum meri ho ... bahut pehle ho chuki ho
 


Teri meri prem kahani aagayi saamne
Meri tamanna padh li thi teri aankhon ne
Tere liye phir bhi jhuk gaya tera haath maangne
Tum meri ho ... bahut pehle ho chuki ho


 
Laangkar toofan tere paas aa gaya
Karne apna vaada poora main aa gaya
Tere bina tab saans rukti thi, ab bhi na jee paoonga
Tum meri ho ... bahut pehle ho chuki ho


 

Translation


The world comes in between the love of two hearts
The rituals aren't greater than love, how to explain that
Now I have to attain my wife again
You are mine ... you've been so, since long
 
The Shagun decorated and given on a plate
A similar plate was given earlier too
Holding your hand, I've claimed my right on you
You are mine ... you've been so, since long
 
There was a time when a shade of your sadness was visible on the moon
Now I look at the moon, I can see your smile
The same smile is now spread on my face
You are mine ... you've been so, since long
 
The ring of love has been put on again
Earlier when I had tied the thread of my heart on your finger
Since then, our bonding has been sealed
You are mine ... you've been so, since long
 
Your red cheeks, repeats a time gone by
Remember that bet, that was to be completed
Then too, you were looking for an excuse to leave
You are mine ... you've been so, since long
 
Once again, the thought for a name in Mehendi
The A' in the mehendi had created an uproar
But then too, the name caused the hands to turn red
You are mine ... you've been so, since long
 
The turmeric on my cheek was smeared onto the dupatta
Now I myself smear it onto your cheeks
There wasn't any distance earlier, but now we've come closer
You are mine ... you've been so, since long
 
Yours and mine love story has come out in the open
Your eyes had read my wish
But still, for you, I kneeled to ask for your hand
You are mine ... you've been so, since long
 
Overcoming the storm I came to you
To fulfilll my promise I have come
Without you, my breath would halt, now too I can't live
You are mine ... you've been so, since long
 

A long one this has turned out to be. Was in two minds whether to split it up eventwise or not. But decided to keep it all in one place. 😊





A VERY BEAUTIFUL POEM       . 
It's been so long to read anything on this amazing thread. Though i find remarriage rituals baseless but still they were necessary to stop world questioning on the purity of love and also for fulfilling khushi's dream of big fat wedding. 
I love these lines You are mine ... you've been so, since long
There was a time when a shade of your sadness was visible on the moon
Now I look at the moon, I can see your smile
The same smile is now spread on my face
You are mine ... you've been so, since long

and my most favorite ritual 

The ring of love has been put on again
Earlier when I had tied the thread of my heart on your finger
Since then, our bonding has been sealed

The way you describe that mandir moment, it's beautiful. 
👏  👏   👏  👏 👏 👏  👏  👏   👏  👏 👏 👏 👏  👏   👏  👏 👏 👏
Mysticaldivine thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: DurgaS

  

Disclaimer: Please do not copy my work anywhere. If you do, please give credit. 


Episodes 319 - 353 


Khushi feels that their marriage took place in a hurry because of which none of the rasams could take place. During the remarriage, Arnav keeps reminding her how most of the rasams had taken place before their marriage and that she has become his, since long. 


Tum Meri Ho 



Do dilon ke pyaar ke darmiyaan aaya zamana
Pyaar se badhkar nahin rasme, ye kaise samjhaana
Apni hi patni ko hai ab phirse paana
Tum meri ho ... bahut pehle ho chuki ho



Thaal mein sajaakar shagun jo diya
Aisi hi ek thaal pehle bhi tha diya
Haath pakadkar, tumpar apna haq jataa liya
Tum meri ho ... bahut pehle ho chuki ho
 


Ek waqt tha jab chaand par dikhti tumhari udaasi ki parchaayi
Ab chaand ko dekhun, to dikhti hai hasee tumhari
Wohi muskurahat ab mere chehre pe hai chaayi
Tum meri ho ... bahut pehle ho chuki ho


 
Pyaar ki anghooti dobara pehnaaya
Jab pehle dil ka dhaaga ungli pe baandha tha
Tabse hi ye bandhan apna jud gaya
Tum meri ho ... bahut pehle ho chuki ho


 
Gaalon ki laali, dohraya waqt purana
Yaad aaya shart wo,  jo tha poora karna  
Tab bhi dhoond rahi thi jaane ka bahana
Tum meri ho ... bahut pehle ho chuki ho


 
Phir aaya mehendi mein naam ka khayal
Mehendi ke A' ne pehle bhi kiya tha bawaal
Par isee naam se tab bhi huye they haath laal
Tum meri ho ... bahut pehle ho chuki ho
 


Mere gaal ki haldi lagayi thi dupatte pe
Ab main khud lagaadoon tumhare gaalon pe
Pehle bhi to na thi doori, par ab paas aa gaye
Tum meri ho ... bahut pehle ho chuki ho
 


Teri meri prem kahani aagayi saamne
Meri tamanna padh li thi teri aankhon ne
Tere liye phir bhi jhuk gaya tera haath maangne
Tum meri ho ... bahut pehle ho chuki ho


 
Laangkar toofan tere paas aa gaya
Karne apna vaada poora main aa gaya
Tere bina tab saans rukti thi, ab bhi na jee paoonga
Tum meri ho ... bahut pehle ho chuki ho


 

Translation


The world comes in between the love of two hearts
The rituals aren't greater than love, how to explain that
Now I have to attain my wife again
You are mine ... you've been so, since long
 
The Shagun decorated and given on a plate
A similar plate was given earlier too
Holding your hand, I've claimed my right on you
You are mine ... you've been so, since long
 
There was a time when a shade of your sadness was visible on the moon
Now I look at the moon, I can see your smile
The same smile is now spread on my face
You are mine ... you've been so, since long
 
The ring of love has been put on again
Earlier when I had tied the thread of my heart on your finger
Since then, our bonding has been sealed
You are mine ... you've been so, since long
 
Your red cheeks, repeats a time gone by
Remember that bet, that was to be completed
Then too, you were looking for an excuse to leave
You are mine ... you've been so, since long
 
Once again, the thought for a name in Mehendi
The A' in the mehendi had created an uproar
But then too, the name caused the hands to turn red
You are mine ... you've been so, since long
 
The turmeric on my cheek was smeared onto the dupatta
Now I myself smear it onto your cheeks
There wasn't any distance earlier, but now we've come closer
You are mine ... you've been so, since long
 
Yours and mine love story has come out in the open
Your eyes had read my wish
But still, for you, I kneeled to ask for your hand
You are mine ... you've been so, since long
 
Overcoming the storm I came to you
To fulfilll my promise I have come
Without you, my breath would halt, now too I can't live
You are mine ... you've been so, since long
 

A long one this has turned out to be. Was in two minds whether to split it up eventwise or not. But decided to keep it all in one place. 😊






Durga ,👏

wah bhai wah...kya baat hai😊

I am not highlighting anything...such a wonderful tribute⭐️

amazing edits👏

If u ask me this line is the Summary of all


Tere liye phir bhi jhuk gaya tera haath maangne❤️


aarwen thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
Episode 339




"Aisa mat kahiye Arnavji"..

The actual fight starts as you say this.. You flung me across in thundering anger.. I tried to explain.. My actions might not make sense, but my motives were pure.. "Sirf di ke liye"..

"How dare you.. Khushi aur koi ye karta toh main seh leta lekin tum? You know I hate that man.."

I am furious and betrayed. I mean it.. How could you? You.. Of all the people the one I have bared my soul to.. I hate him.. And you brought him back.. Di is not safe with him close.. She is not truly recovered if she still depends on him.. Can you not see what a terrible decision this was? I can intimidate and threaten, fight with dadi even refuse di.. But you? What can I say to you when you went ahead and called him without even talking to me..

I wanted to.. "Par aapka phone".. I know its no excuse, but I was desperate and this seemed the best solution.. I.. I thought you would see reason.. After all this is for your di..

That's right.. "Wo meri di .. Main unke liye faisla le sakta hun.." .. You don't realize what a grave mistake this is.. 

"Jab tuk wo uske aas paas rahega di thik nahi ho sakti hai.."

"Humara yakeen kijiye"..  Everything I have done these few days has been for di.. 

"di ke liye kya achcha hai kya bura hai wo main janta hun".. I get to decide.. I have been doing this for years.. Protecting di from any harm.. Standing by her side.. You don't know the hell we have been through.. I have to be the one taking care of her.. And with Shyam around there is no way she can get any better..

"Di thik hogi".. I have to cut your words.. Because I am so absolutely sure I have done the right thing.. You get blinded by anger, I.. I made the tough decision.. I don't like Shyamji.. How can I.. After everything.. But I can't see di in this state and everyone worried for her.. And dadi.. She thinks Shyamji's presence will be good for di.. I went ahead and did what I felt was right.  Everyone thought  of the worst.. We panicked.. "Gharwale pata nahi kya kya soch rahe the"..


"toh tum use ghar uthake le aayi".. Yes I can question you.. Feel outraged.. snarl at you.. This man betrayed my sister, tried to kill you, dared to lay an eye on you, kidnapped me.. You brought him back? And you really think you did no wrong? You brought him into my house.. After I declared quite decisively that no one should even think of him.. 

I can feel my heart break.. "aise mat kahiye Arnavji".. Your house? And me? Where is my home? Isn't it with you.. Are you so angry that I am no longer a part of you.. I am trying hard to explain.. Isn't this my house too.. She my di too? Can't I take a decision for her happiness.. You didn't see her..  Di was not eating.. She was in a very bad state..

"Enough Khushi".. I am so disgusted that I can't even meet your eye.. Enough I said.. I raise my hand to stop you from talking.. Do you even see the pain apparent in my eyes.. How lonely I am suddenly am.. Do I not deserve your empathy.. 
 
Is this the shattering of my heart that wails in my ears.. Why is a sad piano note rising somewhere within.. I know you will say hateful words.. I wait and listen..

"I always knew it.. Kabhi kisi ko apne itne kareeb nai aane dena chahiye kyunki phir wahi log tumhe chot pahuchate hai.."  .. You know what I feel the most? Lonely.. Deserted in this harsh world.. Why did I expect you to stand by me in my battles.. How did I forget one is always alone.. How did I leave my self vulnerable.. And because of this made my di open to another heartbreak.. You were one I felt the most safe with.. And you did this to me..

"Arnavji aisa mat kahiye,," .. dont say that..please.. I am walking towards you now.. All the time you took a step forward.. Come closer now.. Please.. Oh but you stand where you are.. An inpenetratble.. wall between us.. I was only trying to help.. Maybe deluded.. Maybe simplistic.. But my intentions were nothing but pure.. How can you misjudge me.. And what hurts more is how can you insinuate that I would hurt you.. Don't push me away.. Trust me..

"Galti meri thi"..  I don't want to hear another of your excuse.. It is my fault.. How did I break my own rules.. How did I let someone close.. Not only I but di will be harmed.. "mera bharosa toda hai"..I can't quite believe that of all the people I will have to duel with you on a swine like Shyam.. Do you really not see that I have to be strict for the sake of di?


I broke my bounds? Haddh.. I thought I did not have to mind myself around you.. How can you say such a thing? What boundaries did I break.. Isn't your di mine? Can I not decide for her? Am I but a stranger.. I was under the delusion she is my di too.. Please say its not true.. Say that I don't need to treat you and di separate from me.. I need to hear together we will always be..

No.. I cannot let you get near.. for fear I will give way.. I can't bear to see you cry.. but this time it is for di.. while you did not even think of me..

"humne.. Humne aapka bharosa toda hai? Aapko di ki haalat nahi dikhi".. I will be passive aggressive because you have completely misjudged.. now I feel wronged.. Instead of realising this is all for the best you are making me guilty.. Did you not see for yourself the color return in her cheeks. Di's eyes actually sparkled seeing Shyamji, Don't I deserve a little credit for having made sure di ate again? She was walking again.. Dadiji, naniji all feared we would lose her.."Hum di ko kho dete"

"Just leave".. How dare you.. Even utter such words.. Di.. No more?.. I don't want to hear another words from you.. Instead of regretting or understanding the wrong you did you actually want to justify it? And with such an example.. Di.. Nothing.. Nothing can happen to di..

I .. I am lost.. Why are you so angry? Let me comfort you.. Who do you filch at my touch..

No I can't bare your touch..  And I will disregard your tears.. They hurt me, but I can't break now.. I can't be vulnerable.. You.. You don't understand me.. With your beseeching miserable eyes if you look at me I might give in..

"I said go"..

I am crying.. I am trying.. And all you can do is avert your eyes and shout at me..



I took a bit of writers liberty and added things not really said.. I don't think there is any justifiable reason for Khushi's action, but while watching this fight, I also think, in her mind she was convinced she was doing the right thing..

Why is love this hurtful at times.. 

rage hot and blind lashing out in ways not really meant.. 

also a tendency in women to appear self sacrificial and almost holy.. Khushi did not even bother to tell ASR before bringing Shyam and she can't even see that as her mistake.. all she can think is how he isn't understanding her intent..

Why does the heart hurt so much.. Why can't they bear even the slightest distance from each other.. How did they reach this place where they are arguing and fighting when all they want is to feel safe in each others arms.. 

They are each others home.. after long they have found someone to whom they belong.. and yet..

Kyu dard hai itna tere ishq mein..
Edited by aarwen - 9 years ago
Horizon thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: aarwen

Episode 339





"Aisa mat kahiye Arnavji"..

The actual fight starts as you say this.. You flung me across in thundering anger.. I tried to explain.. My actions might not make sense, but my motives were pure.. "Sirf di ke liye"..

"How dare you.. Khushi aur koi ye karta toh main seh leta lekin tum? You know I hate that man.."

I am furious and betrayed. I mean it.. How could you? You.. Of all the people the one I have bared my soul to.. I hate him.. And you brought him back.. Di is not safe with him close.. She is not truly recovered if she still depends on him.. Can you not see what a terrible decision this was? I can intimidate and threaten, fight with dadi even refuse di.. But you? What can I say to you when you went ahead and called him without even talking to me..

I wanted to.. "Par aapka phone".. I know its no excuse, but I was desperate and this seemed the best solution.. I.. I thought you would see reason.. After all this is for your di..

That's right.. "Wo meri di .. Main unke liye faisla le sakta hun.." .. You don't realize what a grave mistake this is.. 

"Jab tuk wo uske aas paas rahega di thik nahi ho sakti hai.."

"Humara yakeen kijiye"..  Everything I have done these few days has been for di.. 

"di ke liye kya achcha hai kya bura hai wo main janta hun".. I get to decide.. I have been doing this for years.. Protecting di from any harm.. Standing by her side.. You don't know the hell we have been through.. I have to be the one taking care of her.. And with Shyam around there is no way she can get any better..

"Di thik hogi".. I have to cut your words.. Because I am so absolutely sure I have done the right thing.. You get blinded by anger, I.. I made the tough decision.. I don't like Shyamji.. How can I.. After everything.. But I can't see di in this state and everyone worried for her.. And dadi.. She thinks Shyamji's presence will be good for di.. I went ahead and did what I felt was right.  Everyone thought  of the worst.. We panicked.. "Gharwale pata nahi kya kya soch rahe the"..


"toh tum use ghar uthake le aayi".. Yes I can question you.. Feel outraged.. snarl at you.. This man betrayed my sister, tried to kill you, dared to lay an eye on you, kidnapped me.. You brought him back? And you really think you did no wrong? You brought him into my house.. After I declared quite decisively that no one should even think of him.. 

I can feel my heart break.. "aise mat kahiye Arnavji".. Your house? And me? Where is my home? Isn't it with you.. Are you so angry that I am no longer a part of you.. I am trying hard to explain.. Isn't this my house too.. She my di too? Can't I take a decision for her happiness.. You didn't see her..  Di was not eating.. She was in a very bad state..

"Enough Khushi".. I am so disgusted that I can't even meet your eye.. Enough I said.. I raise my hand to stop you from talking.. Do you even see the pain apparent in my eyes.. How lonely I am suddenly am.. Do I not deserve your empathy.. 
 
Is this the shattering of my heart that wails in my ears.. Why is a sad piano note rising somewhere within.. I know you will say hateful words.. I wait and listen..

"I always knew it.. Kabhi kisi ko apne itne kareeb nai aane dena chahiye kyunki phir wahi log tumhe chot pahuchate hai.."  .. You know what I feel the most? Lonely.. Deserted in this harsh world.. Why did I expect you to stand by me in my battles.. How did I forget one is always alone.. How did I leave my self vulnerable.. And because of this made my di open to another heartbreak.. You were one I felt the most safe with.. And you did this to me..

"Arnavji aisa mat kahiye,," .. dont say that..please.. I am walking towards you now.. All the time you took a step forward.. Come closer now.. Please.. Oh but you stand where you are.. An inpenetratble.. wall between us.. I was only trying to help.. Maybe deluded.. Maybe simplistic.. But my intentions were nothing but pure.. How can you misjudge me.. And what hurts more is how can you insinuate that I would hurt you.. Don't push me away.. Trust me..

"Galti meri thi"..  I don't want to hear another of your excuse.. It is my fault.. How did I break my own rules.. How did I let someone close.. Not only I but di will be harmed.. "mera bharosa toda hai"..I can't quite believe that of all the people I will have to duel with you on a swine like Shyam.. Do you really not see that I have to be strict for the sake of di?


I broke my bounds? Haddh.. I thought I did not have to mind myself around you.. How can you say such a thing? What boundaries did I break.. Isn't your di mine? Can I not decide for her? Am I but a stranger.. I was under the delusion she is my di too.. Please say its not true.. Say that I don't need to treat you and di separate from me.. I need to hear together we will always be..

No.. I cannot let you get near.. for fear I will give way.. I can't bear to see you cry.. but this time it is for di.. while you did not even think of me..

"humne.. Humne aapka bharosa toda hai? Aapko di ki haalat nahi dikhi".. I will be passive aggressive because you have completely misjudged.. now I feel wronged.. Instead of realising this is all for the best you are making me guilty.. Did you not see for yourself the color return in her cheeks. Di's eyes actually sparkled seeing Shyamji, Don't I deserve a little credit for having made sure di ate again? She was walking again.. Dadiji, naniji all feared we would lose her.."Hum di ko kho dete"

"Just leave".. How dare you.. Even utter such words.. Di.. No more?.. I don't want to hear another words from you.. Instead of regretting or understanding the wrong you did you actually want to justify it? And with such an example.. Di.. Nothing.. Nothing can happen to di..

I .. I am lost.. Why are you so angry? Let me comfort you.. Who do you filch at my touch..

No I can't bare your touch..  And I will disregard your tears.. They hurt me, but I can't break now.. I can't be vulnerable.. You.. You don't understand me.. With your beseeching miserable eyes if you look at me I might give in..

"I said go"..

I am crying.. I am trying.. And all you can do is avert your eyes and shout at me..



I took a bit of writers liberty and added things not really said.. I don't think there is any justifiable reason for Khushi's action, but while watching this fight, I also think, in her mind she was convinced she was doing the right thing..

Why is love this hurtful at times.. 

rage hot and blind lashing out in ways not really meant.. 

also a tendency in women to appear self sacrificial and almost holy.. Khushi did not even bother to tell ASR before bringing Shyam and she can't even see that as her mistake.. all she can think is how he isn't understanding her intent..

Why does the heart hurt so much.. Why can't they bear even the slightest distance from each other.. How did they reach this place where they are arguing and fighting when all they want is to feel safe in each others arms.. 

They are each others home.. after long they have found someone to whom they belong.. and yet..

Kyu dard hai itna tere ishq mein..



Isn't it these writers liberties and the imagination a creation inspires that speak of the merit of both .. the writer and the creation.. your reading between lines of the inevitable confrontation greatly explored the characters and the quandary they are in rhea..

I recall watching this episode on the reruns few months ago and falling in love all over again with this love story..by that time the line between actors and characters totally blurred, their best always came in these confrontation sequences i thought...

that specific shot of your third edit caught my attention too..you are absolutely right about love being so much hurtful.. not just with asr, Khushi could have consulted any one naniji or some one for that matter ..would have been great if some character growth was imparted in her distinguishing  from the khushi who took off the first day with her babuji's shop docs...pure heart she always has...but even after many ups and downs her modus operandi didn't change unfortunately, where as he seem to have come quite a far in controlling his anger... anyway by that time everything was a scape goat to that self sacrificial holy lady as u say..great take