jyoti's fate

this is a real fact, when a family marries off their daughter they give away all the responsibilities to the sasural, ends their association with the married daughter like washing off the dirt, because the social customes or the society does not expect the family to do anything for the married daughter, and generally it is the MOTHER who is so keen to remove her responsibilities towards the married daughter, people may not believe this but a mother's love is different for the son and daughter because that's the way she has been brought up and treated all her life and that's how she is being moulded since her birth, so a mother's love is definitely different, anjali spoke for her daughter because that's who she is, but i have seen mothers that dont want to feel for their daughters, daughters dont matter for them, so not all mother speak out for their daughter even when a daughter is in a life threatening situation on the contrary when they return to their mother's home or rather father's home with complains, the daughters are given the social imperatives, entire society puts pressure on the married daughter to fulfill her obligations, to make compromises with whatever and try to be happy and to avoid circumstances that will trigger the beatings, so ultimately she is made to feel that the beatings or whatever she is suffering is due to her insufficiencies, brothers usually dont support her, sister-in-laws would taunt her to make her return to her sasural (its in soaps that there are so many ideal brothers and sils shown, in reality no one is a devil or angel) , this married daughter is brought up to be submissive to the elders, men, etc, her self confidence and worth is broken while she is growing up, she is asked to never talk back, raise her voice, agree to, etc even if she is sent to school, so her backbone for independence is broken, even if she is earning, she will emotionally have to depend on her people, because that's how she has been raised, if she does not bring her worth, as in bear and raise children, because her self worth is broken down while growing up and she is made to feel her self worth by serving her father, brothers, etc when she is unmarried and serve her sasural, that's how she will earn her self worth and she will have the maximum honor when she bears and raises children, otherwise she is of no use to the family and will have to carry on more household responsibilities to have some of the worth to be worthy of living in that home, she will have to abide to all customs, she does not have even freedom to chose her own religion, she will have to take up the religion of the house in which she marries, otherwise she will have to face a huge brawl, in short she will have to do what she is being asked to do, this is reality, and if she has some issues she will never have support from her maternal home because if she returns they will have to bear responsibility and since the parents will by then have become dependent on the brothers and their wives, usually they will abide by what the brothers want or ultimately what the sisterinlaws want, manytimes the married sister that suffers a lot at her sasural will usually be hardened and will adapt to the circumstances at the sasural, those who cannot will have to ultimately take the LAST option and the rat poison in very handy, i have heard some cases, in one case the married daughter was repeatedly sent back to her sasural and one day she consumed poison, in other case the husband was having an affair with his employee and the wife with her two children, one son and one daughter, had to return back to her mayka, where the children were raised up, i dont know the details if the mayka people were supportive but they must have been otherwise she would have to consume poison like the first case, the husband married the employee and had two daughters, the first wife has separated but still legally married to the husband, so whenever there is some function at her sasural, she and her two kids- now grown up son and daughter goes to attend the function, at one of such function the now grown up son slapped the other wife of his father on some account, since the father has only one son from the first marriage he will ultimately take charge of the huge business, and suppose his father dies what will happen of the woman that has encroached upon his mother's rights and also on the step-sisters that he will look upon someone that has encroached upon his sister's rights and HIS rights?? so probably there are some people that are not hardened by the societal pressures and still support the needy daughter while some have so hardened that it does not even create a guilt in their subconcious if their daughters have to take the ultimate step

its not only daughters, i have heard a case where because of the daughterinlaw's taunts, the kaki who had been widowed since a long time perhaps since early teen and with no kids had to commit suicide by jumping in the well, so the sasural people must have been supportive at that time because they allowed her to stay with them after her husband's death in teen, probably 16 or so, even though she had not born children, but after 80 years, she had been taunted by the family daughterinlaw, due to which she had to take the ultimate step, women's plight

i am writing this because i do not find it NOT normal when shlok behaves this way?? but since he is lead of the show, he will be made HEROonce again like we already had discussed about gettinginto fisticuffs last week. the cvs are so predictable, since today shlok is going against jyoti they brought in this video where shlok fights abhay,HAHAHAHA, they cant surprise us anymore

so my problem with the cvs is that marrying off jyoti with sid is not a solution to women's plight,

a girl has to be raised with her self worth and confidence in her, the society's gender bias in raising children has to be changed, right now society still requires the girls to be brought up to have respect, to submit, this is done by instilling self inferiority and by breaking their self worth, this has to be changed , even though they are educated when they go for a profession, they still face issues at work place in the beginning due to this difference, its a different story that the women ultimately catch up but many become rude, a male child is instilledwith superiorty which is also harmful to him when he goes in the professional world where he can get into brawl with the collegues, dont know when to give in and when to make a stand because they dont know how to balance so its best when both gender children are brought up by instilling self worth and self confidence which will be the backbone when they go in society, get into profession, etc, they will be confident and yet not rude and disrespectful, jyoti needs to gain her confidence back, she needs to be financially stable herself, shlok can ask her to manage the project that's in her name, this will show that the family has acknowledged their mistake and are helping jyoti by giving back her self worth as a human and giving back her self confidence and making an example of raising both gender children with worth

i dont understand male = female because they both are different, but this is what i understand , no one needs to have a superiority or inferiority complex in relation to others, both of them should have confidence and at the same time be respectful towards others irrespective of gender biases, or any other biases, both of them should have self worth and not other worth, other worth are the outside factors that influences the level of confidence in an individual, like, a bright student, 1st in exams, debate, status, money, beauty, highest in his/her profession. self worth is important to nurture in children because when a person becomes devoid of other worth, if he/she does not have self worth then he will drown in depression or some other addiction to stay away from depression

so if this show is giving a social message, it better gives in right way

i won't talk about the show, but its true that families sometimes don't support their own daughter when she reaches out to them. a woman, who used to sew my mom's blouses, once came to our house and was telling my mom that her daughter gave birth to a girl again. she was so displeased at that. her daughter was having a troubled marriage because of giving birth to two daughters already and apparently the situation becomes much worse after this third daughter. this woman herself doesn't have a husband(he left her). i was very young then (10 yrs old approx) and as soon as that woman left, i charged at my mother for listening to her patiently and sympathizing with her. my mom told me that sympathy is all she could offer that woman and it doesn't mean that she agrees with her POV about a girl child. she told me her own experience about how she felt bad when her mom (my grandma) used to tell her to think only about baby boys when she was pregnant the first time. that pacified me then because i felt that i am important for my mom😛. at that age i couldn't think beyond me.

Nice post. It happens, just heard the news somewhere today that a women was killed becoz she was abt to give birth to second girl child and her in laws found out.

Nice post Ankitha..👏

Nimmy..typing from my phone..this incident made me numb..believe me I had tears rolling my eyes after I read this..how can they do this a little child..havas/lust knows no age bars...😡😲... how can people be so brutal to a little gentle soul who is opening her eyes to this world!! She is like a bud who is just crushed in the nip 😭..I could not read the news completely ..its so heart wrenching.

and just because my grandma was a bit gender biased, she is not a bad woman. its just a flaw in her thinking. she lost her husband when she was barely 25. my mom was 5 and my uncle was 2 then. she never married again and raised them as a single parent. she is a strong woman who toiled away for her kids and grand kids without expecting anything in return. i'm proud of her.

she used to churn butter out of buttermilk and she would give my brother a little more butter than me. i used to fight with her over it and she would say girls should not eat too much butter, because if they become fat nobody will marry them😆. but i still love her a lot with all her imperfections.

i agree if a person is gender biased, its because they are programmed like that since their birth, the flaw in their thinking is largely due to the societal influence, but i really appreciate her courage and strength to raise two children on her own, not all can do that, many will succumb to the family's pressure for remarriage or due to their own weakness or inability to stand alone against adversities and also not to forget that she has sacrificed her pleasures so that the children can have a mom even though she had to toil for their sake, i look upon such stories and individuals with respect, sometimes when a woman remarry she may have to leave behind her kids with her parents or may have to give away for adoption even if to friends or family or if she could have them with her at her new place, what could be the fate of the children if the step dad is taking on their responsibility unwillingly and even if he may take willingly , the children would be in his obligations forever along with the mom. ( i have heard a story about a cousin who adopted her friend's child since she was remarrying after her husband's death and the cousin was childless so worked for both of them)

your grandmother was funny and also right about the butter part, right now you may be willingly withholding😉 if you are figure concious😆

wow, ya it happens there is so much cruelty, emotional coldness and lack of empathy out there

what would be the fate of the motherless girl that she left behind

thanks nimmy and jia for your appreciations

yep women are programmed to be another women's enemy exactly where do we begin??

time for reform

and so many incidents we are hearing now a days and children are not even spared, and those gang rapes, society is numbed, politicians are rotten and i could not even imagine the fate of those women, girls , or even boys whose incidents do not come out , they have to keep mum, keep within themselves, not talk about it and suffer internally, such horrible fate! many perpetrators are family or friends or neighbours

what has become??