Why Paakhi Left Ayaan in Shimla? was she correct?

May be if Ayaan was her biological son, Pakhi would have more right on Ayaan than anyone else and she could take him with her but here Ayaan is Pakhi's son because he is Angshuman's son and when she no longer share a relation with Angshuman, she obviously has no right on Ayaan, no matter how much she loves him or knows how much he needs her. Unfortunate but that's the reality. I don't think she is happy leaving Ayaan or even Angshuman, but I am proud of her decision to leave everything and not to compromise with her self respect and integrity.

That is definitely a interesting question. Based on Pakhi's character, she treats Aayan like her own biological son, even if he is not. However that really does make me wonder, and in my opinion no way do I see Pakhi leaving Aayan if he was her biological son. Dont get me wrong, If there was a blood relation, and even if Anshuman called her characterless, she would have not abandoned him, rather I see her taking Aayan with her.

you have put into words my doubts the same as well..Paakhi seems to have washed her hands of Ayaan even after the fact...Anshuman has apologised again and again to her..

Even if I take it out of the question...my brain is questioning Paakhi, did u really love ayaan...or was he just to prove urself for Anshuman that you are good mother etc...

The mother in me would never leave my child no matter what characterless x 10000...with Paakhi she has proved once again..that she is a step mother not a mother...(Anshuman Mum was wrong in leaving her young children)

The fact she left the house..Anshuman did not throw her out..he got angry they had a fight he walked out to make sense of it all..she left!!!

as for self respect and integrity...the fact anshuman has tried explaining asking sorry and again and again...haat jorke!!! but she does not even give him a chance to speak...what is running away from? to make anshuman feel guilty?

Self respect and integrity on overdose can become ego..along with her heart breaking etc i think Paakhi's ego has been hurt too...I will get shot for this I am sure..the fact she is not even allowing anshuman to even talk to her keeps running away from him puts these doubts in my mind!!

In relationships if we give over importance to our self respect and integrity then we wont have a proper relationship with anyone...cause no one is that perfect...

Anshuman they way he reacted, I know in the heat of the moment any husband would...its when things calm down is when u start thinking clearly..!!!



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I am very disappointed with just this angle - Leaving Ayaan alone more than anything else.

Originally posted by: monaco

I am very disappointed with just this angle - Leaving Ayaan alone more than anything else.

Will it be okay for me, if Paakhi is remaining in touch with Ayaan? Say on phone or email? Answer is NO. A kid, 7 years of age, needs the love of both - his mother and father. So just by saying that I have strengthened the bond between them so my duty is over and leaving him alone is not enough. Ayaan needs a mother. Not a chat-net friend, but a mother.

I am tempted to say that if Anshuman-Ayaan bond has really become strong and Anshuman will think of Ayaan as his first priority now, would he consider remarrying just because he realizes this? Or no?

Just having a kid in the whole equation makes everything so complex. Which is why I hate couples who have problem marriages but decide to have a kid to make it all okay. Do they ever think what would happen if the marriage does not turn okay?

Walking out of marriage is difficult, and you do it in extreme cases...Even in case of incompatibility because sometimes its just not easy to put up with some and the love dies too... But walking out of motherhood is not an option at all.

Even if she took Ayaan with him, would that be fair? Doesn't he need a father?

I agree Paakhi has gone through many tests in this house... And, what Ayaan did to her was also quite harsh, but well, yes? Even during the challenge, I thought, is it all about proving to Anshuman that she can be a good mom or being a good mom? Ayaan loves Paakhi unconditionally. We have seen that, specially during the time when he asks Paakhi to leave after the challenge... But Paakhi? Won't Ayaan hate his father for snatching away his mother from him? Won't there be issues he will grow up with? Won't he grow up with low self esteem? Or hero worship whoever his life partner is in order to compensate for the mistakes his father made? Won't he have a set of his own complexes?

I agree with u I actually want to tell Anshuman please you have done what you can apologised again and again please go home to your son..he has lost a mother once already he needs his father...let Pakhi live with her u know what...

Ayaan growing up I see these potential issues with his self esteem..one will not forgive easily anyones mistakes cause he will give more emphasis on "Self Respect and Integrity" cause he has learnt that from Paakhi..He will also not give another person a second chance or listen to what they have to say...cause self respect and integrity will come before love and all...

I also see Ayaan thinking violence is okay cause thats what happens with mistakes cause he saw his dad getting beaten up...

he will also grow up feeling he has to be perfect all the time to be accepted...he will be looking for paakhi in all women sadly he won't find one cause Paakhi's do not exist.

He will have an issue with attachement..cause everyone he has loved Mum Dying..Paakhi walking out...I also deep down he will blame his dad as well...

those tests that pakhi insisted on fighting for ayaan and the house were trivial challenges like biwi number 1, house budget, clothes, tennis match did not have any significant bearings on their relationship..this did...

This situation reminds me of teaching my children to say sorry and not only that, accept a sorry/apology quickly and for children to see that they have to see the role models the adults practicing what they preach...

This is a really interesting discussion, which I think has many complex layers and folds. So thanks for bringing it up!

Like you mentioned, I don't doubt for a second that Pakhi truly loves Ayaan like her own child. But the reality of it is that Ayaan happens to be the son of someone she can barely stand being around at the moment, someone who has made her doubt everything she is and everything she believed. So the question comes down to whether she should torture herself just to be Ayaan's mother, and in fact can she be a good mother to Ayaan if she is forcing herself into a situation which puts her in constant, crippling emotional pain?

I feel like in some ways, just like she always has done, she is trying to keep Ayaan away from the day-to-day adult realness of the situation and since its not something she can hide consistently with any success when Anshuman is around her, she chose to go away. We have seen this clearly enough around her family: she may not have told them about what happened, but she hasn't been able to pretend to be totally normal either.

This whole thing has actually changed who Pakhi is, caused her to look at everything that has happened since her arrival in Shimla through a totally different lens (which is how I understand the flashback sequence). In yesterday's episode, she actually started when Anshuman mentioned his accusation; it still elicits that strong a visceral reaction from deep inside her. Even if logic were to dictate that he was misled by Tanya and is truly repentant for what he did, how do you make those knee-jerk reactions go away, where the pain overwhelms you every time?

As for Ayaan, even though Pakhi and him formed an admirably strong bond over a short time, the practical truth, I think comes down to time. It's not about blood being thicker than water etc, but rather that Anshuman, Mahaji, Girish and Lavanya have been the only constants in Ayaan's life since day one. They were neglectful yes, but constant. Taking him away from all that, and from his house, his school etc, for a bond that has formed only a few months ago would be traumatic for Ayaan and I think Pakhi knows this very well. Ayaan will suffer without her, of course, but he would suffer much, much more without Anshuman. Again, nobody knows this better than Pakhi, with her mission to bring them closer and make them self-sufficient.

And you know what the silver lining is? It is actually Anshuman who made it possible for Pakhi to fight for her self-respect now by changing who he was, becoming conscious of Ayaan's needs and by becoming a better father. Maybe if he hadn't become the parent he is now, able to handle Ayaan on his own, she wouldn't have had the strength to walk out and make Anshuman confront the issues of their relationship, without hiding behind Ayaan.

Hi,

Originally posted by: Samanalyse

This is a really interesting discussion, which I think has many complex layers and folds. So thanks for bringing it up!

Like you mentioned, I don't doubt for a second that Pakhi truly loves Ayaan like her own child. But the reality of it is that Ayaan happens to be the son of someone she can barely stand being around at the moment, someone who has made her doubt everything she is and everything she believed. So the question comes down to whether she should torture herself just to be Ayaan's mother, and in fact can she be a good mother to Ayaan if she is forcing herself into a situation which puts her in constant, crippling emotional pain?

I feel like in some ways, just like she always has done, she is trying to keep Ayaan away from the day-to-day adult realness of the situation and since its not something she can hide consistently with any success when Anshuman is around her, she chose to go away. We have seen this clearly enough around her family: she may not have told them about what happened, but she hasn't been able to pretend to be totally normal either.

This whole thing has actually changed who Pakhi is, caused her to look at everything that has happened since her arrival in Shimla through a totally different lens (which is how I understand the flashback sequence). In yesterday's episode, she actually started when Anshuman mentioned his accusation; it still elicits that strong a visceral reaction from deep inside her. Even if logic were to dictate that he was misled by Tanya and is truly repentant for what he did, how do you make those knee-jerk reactions go away, where the pain overwhelms you every time?

As for Ayaan, even though Pakhi and him formed an admirably strong bond over a short time, the practical truth, I think comes down to time. It's not about blood being thicker than water etc, but rather that Anshuman, Mahaji, Girish and Lavanya have been the only constants in Ayaan's life since day one. They were neglectful yes, but constant. Taking him away from all that, and from his house, his school etc, for a bond that has formed only a few months ago would be traumatic for Ayaan and I think Pakhi knows this very well. Ayaan will suffer without her, of course, but he would suffer much, much more without Anshuman. Again, nobody knows this better than Pakhi, with her mission to bring them closer and make them self-sufficient.

And you know what the silver lining is? It is actually Anshuman who made it possible for Pakhi to fight for her self-respect now by changing who he was, becoming conscious of Ayaan's needs and by becoming a better father. Maybe if he hadn't become the parent he is now, able to handle Ayaan on his own, she wouldn't have had the strength to walk out and make Anshuman confront the issues of their relationship, without hiding behind Ayaan.

reading all your posts makes this forum so much interesting.
All said and done my take is pakhi is not right in taking this decision to go ahead without even telling anshuman and leaving aayan.
As always she could have had a conversation with anshuman that at present she is not ready to forget and move with him . At least that should have given some kind of relief to anshuman's tormented mind.
If she is the pakhi we all know she should have gone to shimla for aayan's sake. ok dont have any relation with anshuman. till today they wer husband and wife and never had any relation in that sense.
Even anshuman would have been more than happy to see that she is there around him and for aayan whom he thinks he has wronged.
I would say anshuman and aayan has changed for the better. and pakhi has changed who has put her self respect above all relations and emotions which till now she was.
Also I dont blame her. may be the shock is too much.
Someone mentioned that anshumans mother also left her children
But she did not leave her children on her own will. It was shown that she was pleading her husband let me be near my children . But his father was adamant and took the children away and poisoned anshuman's mind. There she was absolutely helpless and even pakhis tausa was saying that there was noone to take her of her
Here anshuman has not done all this and put all his effort to get pakhi back.
If there is sincerity in your asking pardon one should get it even though the mistake is big enough as calling characterless etc. And he has not deliberately done it.
When pakhi knows in and out of anshuman and tania , I think her decision is not all that welcome
Anyway the story has taken very interesting mode and would love to know what is in store for us.
Love tp ankhi