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Arnav Singh Raizada couldn't move, and yet his heartbeat raced...
His eyes were glued to the small 9 year old girl in front of him.
Long hair...
Dark eyes...
The cutest smile he had ever seen...
An absolute delight...
The spitting image of Khushi.
The woman he loved.
The woman he lost.
Ever since the day she left him, he had been living a worthless life.
His Dadi had convinced him to walk out on their marriage.
And even though his heart screamed to go to her, he turned the other way, and in
hatred, left her standing alone, waiting for him.
hatred, left her standing alone, waiting for him.
Until...
Until he remembered what his mother once told him about the rose and the thorn...
*Flashback*
"Shit! No! I've...I've punished the wrong person! NO! GOD NO!"
Bolting from the garden where he grew up, he pushed up from dirt beneath his knees
and rushed towards the mandir...
and rushed towards the mandir...
But he was too late...
"She's gone."
Arnav's face turned pale..."What do you mean she's GONE!?"
Anjali was incoherent as she spoke, her voice in anguish..."She stayed for so long
Chote...she trusted that you'd come...but...but she was so distraught...she...she..."
Chote...she trusted that you'd come...but...but she was so distraught...she...she..."
With a panic that consumed him, Arnav raced to the door..."I'm going to find her!"
But Akash stopped him, "Bhai...she left twenty minutes ago..."
"Chote..." Nani called out firmly..."I cannot believe that you did this...I even knew of
Garima all along...but I never once blamed her...it was your father who also lied
to her and broke her heart... as well as my daughter's...but you..." her eyes tore away
from his..."I never thought that YOU would do this to Khushi...just to hurt her...
for something she had no part in...she trusted you! With EVERYTHING! Her whole
heart."
Garima all along...but I never once blamed her...it was your father who also lied
to her and broke her heart... as well as my daughter's...but you..." her eyes tore away
from his..."I never thought that YOU would do this to Khushi...just to hurt her...
for something she had no part in...she trusted you! With EVERYTHING! Her whole
heart."
Arnav felt a vile sickness spread across his chest...
He shook his head..."No...she...she..."
His mind was plagued with their passion from the night before..."She trusted me...with
her heart...with her body..."
her heart...with her body..."
A sobbing filtered into his thoughts...
He spun to face Garima...
She was crying endlessly, calling out for her daughter...
He fell to his knees before her..."Forgive me...forgive me please..."
But all Garima could say was..."Khushi...my Khushi...my Khushi..."
Arnav's body shook as he clamoured away, now staring up at Nani and Buaji...
They could see the devastation in his eyes...
His heart felt crushed with such severe loss...
"Where..." he breathed..."Where would she go?"
Pushing himself to his feet, he screamed..."WHERE WOULD SHE GO!?"
*End of Flashback*
And no one had seen her from that day.
Even though he had hired an army to search for her, she remained missing...
But now, with this little vision that stood before him, the pain that had numbed his
heart for nearly 9 years, resurfaced with a vengeance...
heart for nearly 9 years, resurfaced with a vengeance...
He was desperately trying to breathe...
The small dark haired girl was muttering to herself, just like Khushi used to...
But suddenly, she began to cry...
"Mummy?..." she began to look around..."Mummy?"
His soul hurt seeing her tears, just like Khushi's tears used to tear at his heart...
He unconsciously took a step towards her, but immediately stopped when a man
rushed up towards her...
rushed up towards her...
"Libbi?"
The little girl's eyes lit up and she ran to the man, jumping into his arms screaming...
"Uncle!"
"Uncle!"
He held her tight and patted her back..."Hey...shhh...It's okay..."
When she calmed, she pushed back and crossed her arms..."Where did you go!?"
The man grinned and set her back on her feet, "Now don't get all huffy with me
Libbi...It's not my fault that you CONSTANTLY wander away! Just like your mother!"
Libbi...It's not my fault that you CONSTANTLY wander away! Just like your mother!"
Libbi began to laugh..."Has mummy finished at her interview?"
Arnav felt his heart soar hearing Libbi's laugh...
Libbi, what a sweet name...
"She should be out in a minute..."
Arnav's trance was broken by Akash walking up beside him..."Bhai?"
Tearing his eyes away, he acknowledged his brother..."So?"
Akash smiled, "It's official, We take over this company in a month's time...they are
having a huge staff turnaround and are hiring as we speak..."
Arnav nodded..."Good, new staff will work well with a new manager."
"But Bhai, we can HIRE someone else to run this company...you don't need to keep
moving so far away to start up our businesses..."
moving so far away to start up our businesses..."
"I need to..." Arnav's voice broke..."I...I need to ..."
Akash knew that it was Arnav's way of coping...
Whenever he entered Shantivan, a dark cloud of pain would encompass him...
Anything that gave him the memory of Khushi would completely and utterly disarm
him, sending him into depression.
him, sending him into depression.
"Well, look...I'll go pick up Di and Payal from the cafe next door...shall I meet you in
the car?"
the car?"
"What?...oh sure sure..."
Akash had now got used to Arnav's completely backhanded behavior...
He no longer possessed any ASR inside him...
Arnav heard the automatic doors shut behind him as Akash left the building...
"Another office..." he sighed ..."...is it even worth it...?"
"MUMMY!!!!!!!!"
The little girls squeel made him spin around...
"There's my baby!!!! How's my little heartbeat!?"
A woman dressed in a pinstripe business suit and killer heels ran up to the little girl
and pulled her up into a tight embrace...
and pulled her up into a tight embrace...
Wow...
This woman wasn't very tall, but her legs seemed to go on forever...
He could tell she had long hair, even though it was tied up in a pony tail...
His heart felt as though it had been stabbed...
This is the life I could have had...with Khushi...
"So? Did you get the job?"
"I sure did baby! I sure did! I start tomorrow!"
Arnav shuddered...
He could hear Khushi's voice in his head...
The mother still had her back to Arnav when the interviewer approached them...
"Here, I forgot to give you this training manual...If you can read up on this tonight,
then there will be less to learn tomorrow..."
then there will be less to learn tomorrow..."
"Ofcourse..."
The interviewer, an older lady, looked towards Libbi..."And who is this delightful
young lady?"
young lady?"
"I'm Libbi..." the little girl said confidently...
"Libbi?" the lady shook her little hand..."What an unusual name...what does it mean?"
"I'm a little heartbeat!"
The mother laughed..."Libbi means heartbeat..."
DHAK DHAK DHAK DHAK...
Arnav couldn't take anymore...
The pain was igniting inside him once again...
"I have to get out of here..."
And he turned around instantly, and left...
The moment that Arnav had turned, so did the mother...
"Uncle! Did you hear!? Mummy got the job!"
Rajesh smiled..."I heard Libby, as did the rest of the building I think..."
"Thankyou for your help Raj, after all the interviews I've been on, I was really hoping
to get this one..."
to get this one..."
"You know I'd do anything to help you...After all we've been though, you're like my
very own sister..."
very own sister..."
They were about to walk out when..."Oh I forgot one more thing..." the interviewer
approached them once more..."see this is why I need an assistant..." she
laughed..."Your name badge and pass...so security let you in..."
approached them once more..."see this is why I need an assistant..." she
laughed..."Your name badge and pass...so security let you in..."
"...thankyou so much, I look forward to starting tomorrow..."
Libbi took the badge from her mum, and held it up to read...
"Khushi Kumari Gupta"
...
The next day, Arnav gazed around his new office.
A new company to construct.
It was nothing new to him though, since the search for Khushi had ended, he swamped his life with work...
The weeks after the search was called off, he life felt bleak...meaningless...
Every hour of every day he withered further away...
His thoughts and dreams were haunted with memories of his wife...
When he met her, when he touched her, when he made love to her...
*Flashback*
"Chote, Khushi bitiya would WANT you to move on with your life! She believed in you!"
He bowed his head, his back beginning to hurt from the length of time he had been sitting on the floor..."I have no life without her."
Anjali quietly left the room, unable to bear her brother's pain...
Garima knelt beside him..."Arnav bitwa...I know my daughter..." her voice broke..."she wanted your happiness more than her own..."
Arnav lifted his head and blinked, sending tears he wasn't aware of down his face..."I don't deserve happiness..."
"Chote, you DO! If you don't believe us, believe KHUSHI! SHE said so!"
Leaning his head back against the wall, he prayed that sleep would take over..."Nani...I...I just..."
And the anguish began once again...
But with continuing support and encouragement from both families, he had made his way to the top of the business charts once again.
And now, 'ASR' was more ruthless, punishing and prosperous.
He squeezed his eyes shut...
I didn't want to have this alone...I wanted it with Khushi...my wife...
A knock on his door interruped his thoughts...
Seating himself behind his desk, he answered..."yes."
"Mr Raizada?"
He nodded.
"Goodmorning, I'm Ms. Gomall..."
Arnav narrowed his eyes, recognizing her as the interviewer from the day before...
"Goodmorning. I need all the books from the last quarter, schedule a meeting with all our manufacturers, and get me a black coffee."
Ms Gomall was already scribbling in her notepad, and when she looked up, she was stunned to see exactly how good looking he really was...
He turned, quickly growling..."Was there something else you intended to say?"
The woman cringed..."I'm sorry sir, I just...I guess I'm a bit nervous..."
"No need. You are my assistant. So as long as you do what I ask then things will run smoothly...Plus, I retained only the staff I thought were good enough."
She turned to leave, but stopped short when Arnav called to her..."Ms. Gomall?"
He could see that she was nervous...
But around Arnav Singh Raizada, women were always gobsmacked as well as anxious.
"Yes sir?"
He shifted uncomfortably in his chair and finally said..."The woman you hired yesterday, as your secretary..."
"Yes, did you need me to let her go?"
Arnav stood up abruptly..."NO. But I saw that...that she has a daughter..."
"Yes sir. I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by hiring her, I know that she is a single mother..."
That caught his attention..."She is?!"
"Yes, I thought that was why you were asking about her..."
Arnav sat back down..."No...I just wanted to say for you to go easy on her...I can see that she's working to support her daughter..."
Ms. Gomall was shocked at his request, but she nodded, "Yes, she told me that she'd been away for a long time, and has moved to this area for better work prospects..."
His heart began to ache and he motioned for her to be quiet..."Leave."
Hearing his curt answer, she quickly disappeared out the door...
The second he was alone, he rested his head in his hands...
"Khushi..."
Not a day went by that he didn't breathe her name...
He longed to hear her voice again, to hear her argue with him, to hear her off pitch singing...anything.
"Why can't I find you Khushi...? I...I miss you so much..."
...
"Goodmorning!"
Ms Gomall looked up to see Khushi's bright smiling face..."Goodmorning Miss Gupta..."
"Oh," Khushi waved her hand, "You can call me Khushi..."
The assistant smiled..."Then you can call me Anne..."
They exchanged grins and Khushi looked around..."It seems as though the takeover is going well? Everyone seems to be working amiably together..."
Anne nodded, "Yes...the boss is quite a handful though..."
Khushi's chest tightened, but her hands rested on her hips..."I am well acquainted with tyrants for managers."
"Your previous boss's?"
Her eyes turned sad, "No, my bosses over the last few years have been quite good and accomodating... they understood my situation and were able to adapt my hours to suit with my daughters needs..."
"Oh your daughter is absolutely beautiful..."
Khushi smiled..."She sure is...now, SHE is a handful..."
Anne smirked..."No, really? I can't believe it!"
"Oh but she is, she's a lot like her fa-..." Khushi paused..."She is an angel...I love her..."
"It must have been quite difficult on your own..."
Her expression turned sad..."It was very hard. I can't deny it...but I had help from a few friends..."
"Your family weren't around?"
Anne waited for Khushi's answer, but then saw her eyes welling up...
"Oh no no honey, I'm sorry..."
Khushi blinked, grabbing a tissue from Anne's desk..."It's okay...My family don't know where I am...It was a difficult situation, one that I had to escape from...but I see small characteristics of them in Libbi...so in a way, they're still with me..."
When Khushi looked up, it was Anne who now had tears in her eyes...
"Goodness, now I've made workplace morale take a hit! How about I get you a coffee?"
Anne pulled Khushi into a hug and whispered..."Please know that I am here to be a friend to you...I have two children of my own, both in high school now, and I found it hard enough to cope WITH a partner, let alone without one..."
Khushi pulled back, "You have two kids? That's wonderful!"
"I can see that you are trying to lighten my mood, but please," Anne chose her words carefully..."if I'm not asking too much, can I ask where her father is?"
And at once the air around them turned cold...
Khushi no longer looked despairing...
She looked as though she had accepted her fate...
"He did not want me...I do not know where he is..."
Anne was devastated over Khushi's circumstances and felt awful for bringing it up...
She took her hand, leading her to the cafeteria..."Here, let's have some cake..."
Khushi's eyes lit up, "Do they have jalebi?"
"Um..." Anne's eyes searched the glass cases of food..."I don't think so, but I can tell the chef to make or order some..."
Khushi shook her head, "Oh no, I'm starting to be too much trouble and I haven't even been here an hour yet!"
Anne laughed..."Don't be silly, it's just jalebi...I'll go ask now, you just order some coffees..." she leaned in and whispered..."put it on my account..."
Anne peeked through the doors to the kitchen, "Hello?"
The very animated chef bounded up to her..."HELLO!!!!! What can I owe this pleasure?!"
She stepped back momentarily and gripped the bench behind her..."Um..I was only going to inquire if you were able to make jalebi? Or order some? There has been a few requests."
He scratched his chin, deep in thought..."Ahh, a traditional sweet...I haven't made any in years..."
All was quiet for a moment when suddenly he snapped his head up and click his fingers..."I've got it!"
"AH!" Anne's hand was clasped over her chest...
"I shall call our new boss and ask if I may order some from a divine shop I have heard about, but I shall also start to practice!"
Nodding fast, Anne backed away..."Oh...great...great Idea..." and she quickly made her escape.
Khushi burst into laughter when Anne returned to the table..."What...wh...what has happened? You look like you've been in a brawl!"
Anne took a seat and drank down a swift gulp of coffee..."That chef..." she pointed towards the kitchen..."Is INSANE!"
Khushi giggled like crazy once more, "He's insane? Did he think Jalebi was 'chicken' or something?"
This time it was Anne's turn to laugh...
...
"You want to order WHAT?"
"Jalebi sir! Everyone is requesting it! You have no idea how divine it tastes! It will probably increase the rate in which your employees work and..."
As the man continued to chatter away, Arnav felt like all his emotions were stunted...
Now Jalebi!? What else!? God is this your way of punishing me!? Is it not enough that I cannot see the woman I love!? I live with this guilt every f**kING DAY OF MY LIFE!"
When his senses returned, he realized that the chef was still talking...
He grabbed the phone and yelled..."Just do what you want and shut up!"
Leaning back in his seat, he pulled out his mobile phone...
Hitting speed dial, he waited for an answer...
"Hello"
"Buaji?"
"Ahhh, Arnav babua! How is the new office? Have you moved in yet? Have you been eating?"
Arnav finally broke down...
Why did her family forgive me?! I couldn't even forgive Khushi for something she DIDN'T do...
Buaji heard Arnav's muffled sobs through the receiver...
"What has happened? Did they get your coffee wrong?"
He laughed through his pain and tried to respond..."Thank...thankyou for making me smile...you always do..."
"What's wrong?"
"I...I couldn't find her..."
"Ahh...you need to let that go...she does not want to be found..."
"I want to tell her how sorry I am...how much I love her..."
"Babua, it has been years...all we can pray for now, is that she has found happiness, wherever she is..."
He shot another glance at her photo in his wallet that lay open on his desk...
He stared it for at least five minutes as Buaji asked about his eating habits and whether his employees were frightened of him yet...
"I miss her..."
Buaji went silent.
Arnav sighed..."I'm sorry...I...I can't cope..."
"You HAVE been coping...you tried your best to find her, and you had all our support..."
"...Buaji, there was...there was a beautiful little girl in here the other day with her mother, one who could have been the perfect mixture of Khushi and myself...and I realized once again my heartbreak...I should have tried harder to find her...I should have continued the search..."
"Arnav...Khushi loved you, and she would have wanted you to keep living, and to move on..."
Arnav was overcome with rage and he launched his phone at the wall in front of him and slammed his clenched wrists on his desk..."Don't talk about her as if she were dead! She's NOT! SHE'S NOT! AND I WILL FIND HER!!!!! I WILL!!!"
Buaji heard every word he said.
She felt no anger, just deep sorrow...
"Let her go...Take care Arnav dear..." and she hung up.
...
"Good news!!!!!!!"
Khushi and Anne nearly jumped out of their skin when the chef approached them...
"My God!" Khushi exclaimed..."Thank goodness the news is 'good'..."
Anne laughed..."Yes, I'd hate to think of how he delivers bad news..."
"I have been given, rather rudely, permission to order the jalebi!"
Khushi and Anne squeeled with happiness...
But Khushi's smiled soon turned to a frown, "Rudely?"
Anne made an 'I told you so' smirk towards her...
"If he is so rude, then why take it?! From my experience, you should stand up for yourself! No one should be treated with such disrespect!"
The chef clicked his heels and began clapping..."BRAVO! BRAVO!!!!!!!"
And the strict scowling mood was lifted once again...
...
"I'm home!"
"MUMMY!!!!!!!!"
Khushi smiled with joy as Libbi came bounding up towards her...
"Whoa!" she cried out as she staggered backwards..."You're getting heavy! I can't catch you like this anymore..."
"Get off your poor mother!" Raj called out from the next room...
Libbi kissed Khushi's cheeks..."How was your first day mummy!? Was everyone nice?"
Khushi groaned as she lowered her little girl to the floor, "Yes, everyone was lovely...I met a lovely lady who is my superior, and yet we have become great friends...after just one day!"
"I told you dear," an attractive older lady peered out from the kitchen..."You will make friends easily...because your heart is beautiful..."
Khushi's face fell..."Thankyou Veena, I appreciate all your encouragement..."
Veena motioned to the loungeroom, "Libbi, Go and get your uncle, tell him that dinner is ready..."
Once Libbi had run away, Veena approached Khushi..."You still don't believe you have a beautiful heart?"
Khushi tried to turn away but was only pulled back..."Khushi...I have told you for many years...ever since the day I found you fainted on my doorstep, that you are a beautiful person, with a beautiful heart..."
She shook her head, "I'm not..."
Veena frowned..."Don't argue with me, you ARE!"
Khushi felt something inside her snap..."I'm not! Why else would he have left me?"
There was an eerie silence before Veena continued..."My sweet girl, You were treated unjustly! And it was NOT your fault! You can't blame yourself for believing in someone! for trusting that someone would do the right thing..."
Roughly wiping her eyes, Khushi crossed her arms and tried to divert the conversation..."How was Libbi today? Are her studies going well?"
"Don't try to sidestep the subject...I don't understand, how, after all these years, can you still not trust me..."
"Not tru-" her eyes brimmed with tears..."I trust you...so very much...you have been my strength, you and your son Raj...I couldn't have asked God for a better second family..."
Veena wrapped her arms around her, "Khushi, I love you, as my own daughter, and I will always tell you how precious you are...no matter what that no good man made you believe!"
Khushi was now chuckling softly, "You have such a temper, just like my Buaji..."
Veena's expression softened..."Have you thought any more about what we talked about the other night...?"
"No...no I...I don't want to think about it...It's been too long..."
"Time makes no difference when a loved one is involved...I know that they probably had moments when were mad at you for leaving, but they would never be angry enough to turn you away...I know...I know this in my heart..."
Khushi shook her head..."I don't want my old life back...I have Libbi, I have you...I don't need anymore..."
"But, don't you ever wonder if he-"
"NO." Khushi snapped out, louder than she should have..."I don't care about him...I don't..."
Veena stayed silent, but she could see the truth in Khushi's eyes...
The love for her husband was still alive...
Even if the broken part of her heart was numb...
...
"Bhai?"
Arnav lifted his gaze to Akash...
"Oh my, Arnavji, you have the reddest eyes! You have to stop work now..."
Payal and Anjali had accompanied Akash and Arnav to the new office reopening.
"I will soon Payal..."
Payal clicked her tongue, "No. NOW! When Di returned home yesterday I promised her that I would take care of you..."
Arnav sighed, "Did Di get home safely?"
"Yes, she arrived back later than expected though, I think there was heavy traffic..."
He nodded, his face expressionless...
"Bhai, we're heading back home tonight, but..." Akash paused and looked over at Payal...
"But what?"
Payal continued for her husband, "Buaji called us..."
Arnav froze, but soon stood up from his chair, running his hand over his face..."She told you...?"
Payal nodded..."Are you alright?"
"Bhai?"
Arnav finally looked up, his red eyes now rimmed with emotion, "No...I'm not alright...I'll never be alright again..."
Payal rushed forwards, pulling him into a hug..."Arnavji, she wouldn't want you hurting like this! I know!"
He didn't move, his sight was now completely blurred...
Akash walked towards them both and rested an encouraging hand on his brother's shoulder..."Bhai, Payal is right, you need to stop beating yourself up like this..."
Arnav's voice was rasping and harsh, "I deserve it..."
Payal was about to contradict him when he stepped back, his anger returning as he said...
"How long did she cry while she waited for me? For how long did she weep while I stayed away HOPING to hurt her?...TELL me that I don't deserve it! I dare you!..."
Akash drew Payal backwards, "Bhai, we're your family...we love you..."
Arnav sucked in a breath..."I'm sorry...I shouldn't keep dragging you all down..."
"Payal, we should probably get going..."
"We can't leave him like this..."
Arnav straightened, "I'm fine. You just caught me at a bad time...I've done this before...I'll get this new office running smoothly, and I'll be back soon enough..."
"But you'll start something new, and be off again just as fast..."
Arnav seated himself back down, "I can't be in one place too long...the memories just...just get too much to bear..."
"I understand, come Payal, we have to make a move now, or we'll be home at 3am and Nani will think we're burglars..."
Payal managed a small smile, but turned back to Arnav, "Call us if you feel like you can't cope...we're here for you..."
Arnav clenched his fists, trying to maintain control of his emotions..."I will..."
...
"I can spell metamorphosis!"
Khushi's eyes widened as she pinched her daughters cheeks..."You CAN?!"
Veena chuckled as Libbi stood up straight, and began to rattle off the word...
"Metamorphosis, M-e-t-a-m-o-r-p-h-o-s-i-s!"
They all clapped and Libbi crawled onto Khushi's lap...
"Wow, that is incredible! You are really clever, you know...that word is a big one, and quite hard!"
Libbi grinned, "I know...I am Libbi Kumari Gupta...I never back away from a challenge!"
Khushi's heart pounded...
A challenge...your father used to say the same thing to me...you are a lot like him...
"Come Libbi, you can help me clear the table and wash up tonight..."
Libbi scowled at Veena for a moment, but soon nodded and began to help...
Raj slid his chair closer to Khushi..."So, your first day? How was it?"
Khushi yawned, "It was good actually, I've made a great new friend, who is actually my boss..."
"You're FRIENDS with the boss of the company?"
Her expression turned aghast, "No! no no no, MY boss is Anne Gomall, but HER boss is the new guy, I don't know his name. I don't have to, as I won't be working with him..."
Raj rested his elbow on the table, "I heard some of the staff gossiping about this guy, he apparently starts up companies and then moves on to the next, never staying in the same place very long...He's quite powerful, a real stickler..."
Khushi rolled her eyes, "That is a good thing that me leave fast then, he sounds like Arn-"
Raj frowned..."Like who?"
Quickly stopping herself from saying too much, Khushi continued, "He sounds like someone I used to know...someone who treated his staff abominably..."
"Ugh, he sounds horrible..."
Khushi felt her chest seize up..."He wasn't always..."
Raj quirked a brow, "Who was this person? Someone you once worked for...?"
She said nothing, just nodded...
"Before you came to us?"
Khushi nodded again...
Raj took her hand in his, "Khushi, I love you so much...you've been the sister I never had...and I adore Libbi..."
"I love you too, and Veena...you both are all Libbi and I have..."
"Why won't you tell me his name?"
His name.
The name of the man who broke her heart, the name of the father of her child, her husband...
Arnav Singh Raizada.
Khushi bit her lip...
Raj was now pretending to punch the air..."I would LOVE to find this idiot who let you go! Just once I wish I could give him a hard slap on the face!"
Her laughter at Raj's attempt on 'tough talk' made her stomach ache...
"What! I'm serious!"
Khushi turned around to Raj and pulled him into a fierce hug, "I know you're serious...and I love you for it...believe me, I haven't had many people want to stand up for me..."
...
Arnav walked into his empty flat...
He barely noticed his surroundings, even though Akash had chosen a brightly colored modern apartment.
Colors no longer made his life bright...
Everything was dull...
Food was tasteless...
Laughter was forced...
Nothing mattered...
He walked robotically around the room and pulled off his tie as he slumped down onto the cream colored couch...
Closing his eyes, he willed for sleep to come...
God...I want her back...I NEED her back...
He KNEW that she only did what she thought was right.
But WHY do you not want to be found! I am trying not to be angry, but...damn it, why can't I find you!
He knew that she felt as though everything was her fault...
It WASN'T your fault...If only I could find you...to tell you that...just one more look...just one more...I would do anything to have you back in my life...anything...Khushi Kumari Gupta SINGH RAIZADA...
...
In a darkened room, not 10 minutes away, Khushi lay in her bed, staring at the stars...
Libby was snoring softly next to her, cuddling onto a pillow...
Arnavji...
She clenched her teeth...
Arnavji...
"No..." she muttered..."I will not say his name...for the one-millionth time...NO!"
But her thoughts defied her...
She could feel his hard body inside hers, and his hot mouth on her skin...
Tears broke free from her eyes...
She had learned that she had no way to stop him from appearing in her dreams, flashes of him in her thoughts, filling her memories uninvited.
Khushi inhaled, banishing an image of him, and concentrated on the stars.
You'd think a broken heart would stop bleeding.
If only forgetting were possible.
If she could forget him by means of an elixir or tonic, she would have ordered a magical potion from sheer desperation, even if only for some placebo effect.
All she had right now, was the stars...
But even as she stared, the sparks spelled out his name...
The heavens were replaying the night they made love over and over...
"Arnavji..." she sighed, the heartbreak in her voice was plain and obvious...
Every night, Arnav took possession of her thoughts, making her body spiral with need for fulfillment.
Khushi whimpered, slamming her eyes shut in frustration.
She had to stop imagining him.
Even after all this time, without seeing or talking to him for years, he was dangerous to her heart...
Is there any place that I can escape him? Is there a world of respite SOMEWHERE where I may have a moment of peace, a rest from remembering the darkest hour of my life?
She bit her lip and Arnav instantly appeared in her mind.
She shook her head..."Stop...go away...our love was never meant to be..."
...
Fastening the last pin into her hair, Khushi looked in the mirror.
Black pinstripe skirt-suit with a pale pink blouse and black high heels...
Your feet are never going to get used to these shoes...surely you realise this Khushi!
As she mentally scolded herself, she double checked that her dark hair was in a neat pony tail...
With only a touch of makeup on, she felt as though she were ready to leave for work...
"Whoa!"
Khushi spun around only to see Raj standing behind her with his jaw dropped...
"What?"
He shook his head as if to clear it, "You look incredible..."
She blushed slightly..."Thankyou...I don't know if I'll ever really understand why women wear these shoes..."
His eyes scanned down to her feet..."Well, they do make your legs look longer..."
"Raj!"
He laughed sneakily and turned to leave...
When Khushi eventually emerged from the bathroom, Veena and Libbi gave a little cheer and clap...
She spun around and made a curtsey, "Thankyou everyone thankyou..."
Veena nodded in approval, "You look very businesslike..."
Khushi frowned..."I really didn't know how to look corporate, I mean, when I worked in an office before, I was very traditional..."
"Well, you definitely look corporate to me..." Raj said smiling...
Libbi was giggling, "You look like my Barbie doll mummy!"
Khushi rolled her eyes, "Ok baby girl, I had better leave now or Mummy will be late for work."
As Libbi jumped up to give her mum a hug goodbye, Khushi gave a small chuckle..."Sweetheart, your shoes are on the wrong feet..."
...
"Di, I said I'm fine!"
Anjali gripped the phone tighter, "Chote, Buaji said that-"
Arnav groaned into the phone, "I was, I was angry, I was losing control...but I'm alright today, I have a LOT that I need to do to get the companies books in order..."
"Okay," her voice was hesitant..."I hope you come home soon..."
"Home..." he scoffed in disgust...
"Chote, please, your home is with your family..."
He bit his tongue, not wanting to say anything to hurt his sister...
"I'll talk to you later, Nani is having a crazed cooking spree with Garima today, and I'm going along to be their food critic..."
Arnav gave a small smirk..."Oh really? That must be such a chore for you..."
"Oy! If they keep using me to taste their food, I will soon need a crane to lift me into the house!"
Now laughing, Arnav grabbed his briefcase and headed out the door...
"Goodbye Di..."
"Bye, love you Chote..."
He ended the call yanked open the car door, throwing his jacket over into the passenger seat...
Turning on the radio, he felt thankful for the mental distraction...
The drive was only a short one, he knew he could have walked, but then that would have given his thoughts a chance to attack...
As he slowly braked into a stop, he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as he stared at the red light...
Red...Khushi in Red...Diwali...
He slammed his open palm down on the dashboard...
"BLOODY HELL!!!!!" he roared in agony and frustration...
Finally the light turned green, and Arnav stepped on the gas, speeding away from the light and the memories...
Pulling into the new office carpark, he grabbed his things, and marched into the building...
As he passed the row of employees already working at their desks, he purposefully looked away...
He wasn't even slightly willing to let his eyes see the mother of that little girl...
If she looked anything like Khushi, then he knew he was done for...
A work day already lasted too long for him, let alone one that was filled with thoughts of Khushi...
Khushi...
"Sir?"
He halted.
"Sir, I'm...I'm Ms Gomall..."
He didn't turn around, "I know who you are."
Anne felt nervous at his ground out answer but continued, "Sir, I was wondering if you will be addressing the staff today? Just to let them know about the future of the company and about your plans..."
He gritted his teeth, "The employees should not be concerned with MY plans, they work for money, they will get their money...nothing else should matter."
And before Anne could say anymore, Arnav strode away...
...
As Arnav walked away, Khushi entered the building, missing him by a mere glance as she came up behind Anne...
"Goodmorning Anne..."
Anne turned and gave a weak smile, "Hi..."
Khushi frowned, "What's wrong? Anything I can help with?"
Anne shook her head, "We can only hope that this new owner leaves soon..."
Khushi's eyes narrowed as Anne roughly pulled out her chair and seated herself...
Meekly, Khushi sat down beside her...
"Now, you set your password the other day, so just enter it and your computer will open with a startup list of things you have to do..."
"Okay, and If I need-"
Anne smiled, "If you need ANYTHING, just ask me...I'm sorry, I just had a run in with the manager, and he is...ugh..."
"That bad?"
"Yes. THAT bad."
Khushi found herslef getting curious, "What is his name?"
Just as Anne was going to answer, her intercom buzzed...
"Oh dear, the master has summoned me..."
"But..." Khushi cringed, "It was just a beep! Doesn't he even bother to TALK!?"
Anne grabbed her notebook, shook her head, and ran towards the Tyrants office.
She knocked once, and gave Khushi a feeble glance back before she entered...
Arnav rattled off a list of files he would be needing, not even bothering to turn and look at Anne.
But for this, she was almost grateful..."I will bring them from the record room straight away..."
Khushi had been watching the door, and sighed in relief when Anne exited...
"Are you alright?"
Anne motioned for her to follow her...
Khushi jumped up and skipped to catch up, "Where are we going?"
"Record room...I won't be able to carry everything..."
Anne noticed that Khushi went quiet and turned around, "Are you okay?"
"I'll have to see him?" she stuttered out...
"Ha! On NO ONE is good enough to look upon the face of this man! When I went in just now, he didn't even turn around!"
Anne unlocked the door, and let out a small sneeze when they stepped in..."Ugh, this dusty old room...files files files..."
Khushi helped tug boxes off shelves and began to feel her nose get fuzzy as well, "I know, there are computers, phones, ipads, and more, and yet, all this paperwork is still needed..."
Anne laughed inbetween sneezes..."Ugh, this is triggering my hayfever..."
Grabbing her new friends arm, Khushi hauled her towards the doorway, "Leave."
Pulling out a handkerchief, Anne tried to insist that she was alright...
"No, go. You can't stay around all this, I will take the files, just go and get a drink of water..."
Anne's eyes were now watering, "Than...thank...thank...choo!!!!!"
Khushi laughed instantly, "That...that was the ...the funniest sneeze I have ever heard!"
And she pushed Anne out the door...
Turning back to the stack of papers, she sighed..."How many trips will I have to make...?!"
After 15 minutes, Khushi finally narrowed it down to 3 lots she could carry...
Carefully lifting the stack of folders, she muttered..."Well...here goes nothing..."
...
Arnav stared at his screen.
"At least I've finished some work..."
A small knock resounded on the door.
"Yes."
He voice sounded raspy, even to his own ears...
He cleared his throat and kept his back turned as the door clicked open...
Khushi kept her eyes down, her brain not wanting to rile the owner, as she knew she could...
As her tiny footsteps came closer, he heard a stack of papers get laid on his desk...
Good, let the employees fear me...
Khushi slowly backed away and quietly spoke, "I will get the rest sir..."
And she turned as fast as she could, and disappeared out the door...
Arnav however, felt his heart pick up speed...
THAT VOICE...
He spun his chair around, but the Khushi was gone...
His brow wrinkled up, "That...that wasn't Ms. Gomall...was it?"
f**k this...
He stood up and walked towards the charts on the wall, staring but not focusing...
Again, the door opened...
Arnav forced his body to remain still...
No...stop hearing Khushi's voice...stop...STOP!
Khushi began feeling nervous...
"No need to feel threatened Khushi, just finish your task...just finish your task..."
She carefully piled the next handful of folders next to the first stack...
Standing in the doorway, she chanced herself to speak once more..."I'm sorry for the bother, only one more lot..."
And SLAM, Arnav's focus immediately returned.
Khushi rushed out, her legs taking her speedily back to the record room...
Once inside, she panted as her hands rested on the table in front of her...
"My God...the air in that room...so thick...so intense...just like..." her eyes widened..."just like..."
Pressing her hand to her heart, she tried desperately to regulate her breathing...
"Stop it...stop it Khushi..." she stamped her foot, "And STOP talking to yourself!"
...
Arnav turned on his heel, and faced the door, his eyes flashing with an emotion he couldn't quite place...
WHO is that?!
His heart was slamming inside his chest...
Khushi...
"No, it can't be..." he growled...
High heels began clicking towards his office once more, and he felt his palms grow sweaty...
That voice, the mere presence, HER voice, HER presence...
Closer...
CLOSER...
And just as Khushi's leg appeared in the doorway, Arnav's chest seized up with shame and fear...
He spun away, facing the wall once more...
Please scroll down for PART 2
Part 3 https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/iss-pyaar-ko-kya-naam-doon/3857781/ss-heartbeats-updated-part-3
Ganesh Kartikeya
Shiv Shakti
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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