ArHi SS: Heartbeat Radio - Completed - Page 29

Originally posted by: Kalyaani

Don't you find it strange that death seems to make people more tolerant than life. I have often heard people say, even if you don't join others for a happy occasion you must show support during sad times. I wonder why the support/presence cannot be extended all times?

Originally posted by: meera30

Sorry  - can't seem to keep away from this discussion. My two rather worthless cents :)

I think death and loss remind us of the futility of most of what we cherish or worry about. In the face of immense grief, smaller aches and pains, unfulfilled dreams, small altercations seem to fade away into the background. Maybe because in the absence of that reminder, one seems to forget (at least consciously) about one's own mortality, of the fact that life is not an endless river - that grinding halts do exist.

You are right - ideally support must be extended on every occasion. I guess the choice is needed because one may find himself/herself short of resources to be there for everyone on every occasion. And the inherent intuition that one might need more reassurance when they are in the valley than when they are at the peak.

I have to share this - I lost my uncle last October and he was not the well loved kind but a harmless man. One could say death put an end to his suffering, the one thing most people gathered at his house to pay their last respects were discussing was, who came there and who did not. I was disgusted to the core, it is not important to support the grieving family but to discuss the absence or presence of people at such occasions.

Humans are going to pause and introspect but not all are going to act according the voice that tells them to change post introspection. Valleys or peaks, most are wondering what the others are thinking about, while they are happy or sad. Ironic but true.

Originally posted by: Kalyaani

6. Provocative Envy 

I looked at the "teaching Lavanya" track in the serial to address three people in the show. Lavanya, who was willing to do everything, that was required to gain approval from the matriarch if it meant being close to the man she loved. Arnav, who did not want to have Khushi around anymore but was now forced to be around her and later used the situation to his advantage to run her down. Khushi, who may have agreed to it to support her family but did everything to make Arnav get what she thought he wanted.

Strange is life, Khushi had everything Lavanya needed to be accepted as a Raizada Bahu and Khushi wanted what Lavanya had, Arnav.

Well, Lavanya willingly gave up her self centered life style and learn whatever is important for the supposed family just so she could settle down with Arnav. In this instance I don't particularly care much about Khushi because it was convenient for her to be anti-thesis of Lavanya. Its irritating to see Lavanya being projected as "un-family-ish" because of her life choices. Her family is never shown and I doubt if they are even mentioned in passing. So she is this lone girl who has made something of herself and is in love with a man whose family she is trying to impress. While the said man is just yanking her all along.

Yeah, it is strange. But then again the trope is all over Indian television and this show is no better.

Originally posted by: Kalyaani

7. Limbo

You are sick and tired of me saying this but I will keep at it, this was simply brilliant. Khushi hears Arnav and understands him too but chooses not to show it, that is what all this is about. They never did speak to each other in plain simple words; it was always in a circuitous manner.  I did love the answer he gave to her question. Caged heart and bad decisions, the whole story was that.

Another point that stayed with me throughout the story did Arnav and Khushi really know what they wanted for themselves and for the other. They talk to each other and yet they don't, there are always on the edge, waiting to plunge and undecided about it.

Thank you!

They talk a lot but they don't talk anything that's useful. He asks a question she answers with snark and sometimes snidely and sometimes its just random stuff. She asks a question and he gives a convoluted answer or insults her. Naturally it leads to bad decisions. This is the basis of their entire relationship.

Arnav's words are more self aware than of Khushi because he understands his own short comings and didn't hesitate this instance to be forthright.

Originally posted by: Kalyaani

8. Shadows

You have given Lavanya too much credit in my opinion, Lavanya was never a person who saw beyond herself. I am going simply by the way her character was sketched in the serial; they portrayed her to be the Indian version of a dumb blonde; clothes and parties. She did not see the way Arnav was around Khushi or for that matter how Khushi responded to Arnav. On her engagement day she wakes up to realize Arnav may be the real deal for her but she is not for Arnav. I found that to be too sudden and let me be fair, the CVs did not invest any time in bringing about her realization of the situation that was developing in front of her eyes.

The only redeeming factor for Lavanya in the serial was her graceful, head held high exit and nothing else.

How did Arnav behave around Khushi? Blatant staring, grabbing arm and whispered insults / anger words when no one is around. The writers are so damn lazy, they didn't bother to talk about her family. Its only fair she gets due diligence for her existence. Sure she is self centered loves her clothes and parties but would she be hired by Arnav, who is so high in everyone's pedestal, just for being pretty? (Then again Khushi was hired who has zero to nothing experience or education so it is sort of confusing)

Give her a little credit for at least that. She scored a decent job and for what its worth she is happy being herself. Why should her life surround only about how Arnav feels and that too regarding Khushi who is nothing but an employee (from her perspective)? Arnav is a part of her life as much as she is his. Whatever developed between Arnav and Khushi all happened when they were predominantly alone. What we saw on screen isn't necessarily what Lavanya too saw.

Originally posted by: Kalyaani

9. Pretentions

You bring in Payal here and I always wondered why as a sister she never caught on to what Khushi was going through, Khushi may not have voiced her thoughts but sisters tend to pick these things. I agree Khushi pretended always and was never honest about her feelings, mostly to herself. She was deeply affected by Arnav and his words; she did show it at times but in the guise of anger and never hurt. He hurt her with words and actions, she did give it back to him but was never open about the deep impact he had on her life. She did hide always, pretentions indeed...

I felt Payal and Khushi started drifting apart once they landed in Delhi. Khushi hid a lot of things from Payal. She realizes that something is off with Khushi but she doesn't presses. I guess she just gives Khushi her space and lets it be. In retrospect, it would have been easier for Khushi to deal with life if she had shared. I don't agree that keeping all to oneself is the best solution especially in a stress induced situation as it generally leads to bad decisions or misconceptions. An outsider perspective helps to see things in a different way and sometimes maybe a better way. It's just messy if everything is kept in it just nudges and nudges and one day everything falls apart.

And then pretense begins...

Originally posted by: Kalyaani

10. Spaces

I know many people would bay for my blood for saying this but Khushi and Arnav were really dumb the day Arnav's and Lavanya's engagement was announced. The two were so drawn to each other and were trying their best to stay apart, it seemed ridiculous. I have to give credit where it is due; Khushi came out a shade better than Arnav. She held out a mirror and asked Arnav to take a good look at himself and the pretensions he represented. She was not off the mark when she questioned him about Lavanya and why she was not enough for him or his family. Lavanya was not going to change as a person; she just learnt a few things that would make her stay with the Raizadas easy.

Arnav in his true blue jerk-style taunts her for accepting the job; he knows she did not want to take up in the first place. She had her reasons, valid or otherwise and she did not do a half assed job, while playing to role of a teacher or giving him a spoonful of bitter truth. The cheap shot of asking her to take a bonus for her efforts sums Arnav's character, he inherent arrogance his wealth provides. In the same way Khushi's response provides a glimpse into what she draws her victories from, getting a reaction out of him.

Right on. Be whatever it may, Khushi didn't cling on or try to guilt trip Arnav by talking him to do things she wanted him to. She gave him his space and told him exactly what she thought and that's that. One of the few strong moments of Khushi and she shows she is awesome on her own.

Originally posted by: Kalyaani

12. Cross road

The all-powerful men in the world are unmanned by their women and the fools don't even realize that. I would like Arnav to be around NK-Khushi a lot more to get him to realize a few things about Khushi and most importantly himself, that woman is in him and he knows it yet runs away from it, fool. Arnav does know a thing or two about relationships and yet acts clueless, what purpose would praying serve when he does not own up to a few facts of life? Every act that provides a result leads to heartbreak and pain, and we call that life.

Is he really clueless or just being purposefully oblivious to his feelings towards Khushi? He has a preconceived notion towards Khushi and maybe that's what is stopping him from taking a step forward knowing that he was wrong about his own initial diagnosis. Like you said - inherent arrogance.

Originally posted by: Kalyaani

13. Change

I read this on the net and am using it here, "People change for two reasons - either they have learned a lot or they have been hurt too much." This applies to Arnav and Khushi on both counts; they have learned too much about each other and are hurt deeply by the other. I have often wondered, if the two realized the pain they caused by being selfish and at the same time selfless, both emotions are futile if one thinks of it deeply as they serve no purpose.

Lavanya chooses that painting, why? Is she so blind she cannot see what is in front of her? How deeply into each other Arnav and Khushi are. Maybe the blindness is more the blocking out kind.

I think I mentioned this before: The story of Arnav and Khushi doesn't unfold in front of everyone. Everything that happens between them is when they are alone (minus the staring) and in front of everyone they take up their roles in their lives the way they have defined. Arnav never walks towards Khushi and grabs her arm in front of Anjali or his grandmother or even tell her things, for that matter. So why or how can Lavanya see two people who hide their feelings and themselves in shadows and darkness?

This isn't perception but what is in our line of sight - who is in darkness and who is in light.

Originally posted by: Kalyaani

14. Ties

I disliked Anjali in the serial for many reasons and on reading this update, I disliked her all over again. She does not understand her brother at all it seems; now why would she draw parallels here. She was ditched at the altar and Lavanya is being told of the relationship being over, this is an apples to pebbles comparison. Sure both involves heartache but it is not the same, while Anjali was ditched because she did not bring in the money that was promised via the alliance instead brought controversy, Lavanya is being told the relationship is off as the very grounds a relationship needs to stand on; understanding, compatibility and love, is not there anymore. When that is not there, what is the point in carrying on only to end it at a later date?

Anjali does not want Arnav's happiness, she wants him to do right; she was ditched at the altar and her brother will not do anything like that as it is a poor reflection on her as she essayed the role of mother/father in the absence of their parents. Arnav is not wrong when he says Lavanya is stronger, because she is, as Anjali runs to pray each time things happen or her world is shaken, Lavanya can accept things and move on.

Sure there is no gauge to measure human strength but one's instinct is a fair guide to judge. Anjali may want to be supportive to Lavanya and it is good also, she should do it for the right reason and not for some weird sense of correcting the wrong which she thinks Arnav is doing.

Just because Arnav woke up one morning and decided he liked Khushi enough to break his engagement doesn't mean everyone around him should fall in line and give him a pat on his back. Yes, what Anjali went through isn't exactly same but she knows the feeling of being dumped. That's the key point.

Imagine how it would feel to be faced with a friend / family member / partner just to be told everything between you and them is over. From your perspective everything is the same but from theirs, nothing is same. Lavanya indeed accepts and moves on but that doesn't mean she should like the way it was done. Is it so hard to talk and be upfront about what one feels?

Anjali is disappointed in Arnav for the way he has handled the whole Lavanya affair. She didn't like him moving out and pursue a live-in relationship with Lavanya but she patched things up by negotiating a crappy deal to keep everyone around her happy and her brother nearby. It was stupid to invite Lavanya into their house - supposed beacon of cultural and moral righteousness yet have an unmarried girl in their house who may or may not become "bahu" of the family.

Anjali isn't always right and Arnav isn't always wrong. Like most of us they have their share of right and wrong moments. That's what makes us...us.