Dilshad...a mother or a wife? - Page 4

Amazing post. I must say. When I was watching the show I blurt out to my mom that dilshad must realize and understand Asad's feelings
But at the end of the day why does it come back to the woman? A woman must be a daughter,daughter-in-law,sister, wife and then mother. But yet everyone expects her to be perfect in every step and age of her responsibilities. This is not fair and neither is it right.
Dilshad loves her kids regardless and she tried every bit to bring her up and be a good mother. She is nice and sweet and also treats others like her own I.e Zoya. But a husband and wife love is completely different. A mother will love her kids and do everything for hem but her husband is very very important for her.
What I find today,is that Dilshad felt defeated. Tied between her son and husband she didn't know what to. At the doll factory she handled the situation by sniping off Rashid but she never thought that when she goes home Asad will call the police. When she found out who she ran to? Asad cause she trusts and loves him and in anger and frustration and feeling like a defeated person she laid her jams on him. According to me she was.not wrong!

Originally posted by: VenusFlyTrap

The evil in me says 😈 Salay per ek thappar tu banta hai

But the pro-tolerance side of me says today was a violence mahaepisode !

& you dont choke a woman no matter how nasty she is- not if you are the good guy! & you don't slap your grown son (specially) in front of others in the room not a son who has dedicated his life to you.

Now if he's breaking furniture we should let that be- even I throw a vase or two when i cant vent my frustration and anger at anything else 😵
that's drama & Indian drama at that ☢️ there has to be some way the lead shows his manly *Biceps contracted Salman khan pose* anger 😡

I know...today was certainly the maha epi of violence...I seriously think they should show other decent ways to show anger and frustration,

Originally posted by: delena90

I agree with every single word. For me, today, Dilshaad failed as a mother. I have said this many times in different threads...Asad may have been impulsive but Rashid committed each and every one of those crimes except the murder. Even for the murder he covered it up...which is a crime! He definitely deserves to go to jail. I just don't understand every one who thinks Rashid is the sun, the moon and perfect...YUCK!

He is not a sympathetic character and the writers can to try to shove it down my throat that he is but it's going to take a lot more than the writers TELLING me and propping him rather than showing. :/

i completely agree delena... No matter what, a mother's first priority should be the child and that too a child who was abandoned by his father at a very young age and had to pick up the pieces and basically grow on his own...shielding and taking care of his mother and sister.

Originally posted by: Rupunzale

Dilshad is a great woman...she is the epitome of grace, kindness, sincerity, patience. She is the woman who is great enough to forgive Rashid for his sin and still care for him immensely. She is ready to go against the very son Asad who has devoted his very being for her and his family. She has undeniable faith in Rashid and it's admirable but I simply cannot support Dilshad in slapping Asad and blaming him for Rashid's arrest. Yes, Asad's decision was impulsive but being a mother Dishad should have made an attempt to understand the turmoil Rahid has put through the family...let alone has turned Asad into the mode of destruction..Asad clearly asked Rashd for an explanation but only to be said that he is forbidden to answer.

I am afraid to fulfill the duty of a wife ...she is failing as a mother. Dilshad needs to realize that she is the one who has to be strong for both Asad and Najma and not the other way around.

PS: All this slapping and choking is absolutely unacceptable ...it doesn't matter whether its Asad,Dilshad or Rashid choking Razia...it's just horrible and uncivilized. There as to be some other way to show anger and frustration.

Originally posted by: crazy4KASH_AR

Amazing post dear...
The way you have praised Dilshad is soo beautiful.

Well I am not happy with Dilshad today but her reaction was quite expected and 50% justified too.
All the emotional turmoil through which Dilshad has gone in less than 24 hours can make any sane person lose control over himself/herself for a while.
It must have been really a horrible scene to see her own son pointing the gun at her husband and even shooting it even if the shot was deliberately missed coz of the swear she gave to her son.
Dilshad was already disturbed and then Ayaan's phone must have made her really worried.She already knows and believes that Rashid is not guilty. So when all this was happening and her own son tells her that he has send his abbu to jail, a slap or an outburst is much expected.Both Dilshad and Asad are people of few words,so the slap didn't surprise me much eventhough I was not happy and totally justified with it.
I wonder if Dilshad ever slapped Rashid for betraying her trust..I wish mommy had shown more trust on her son than her unfaithful thali ka baigan hubby.

It's high time that Dilshad decides what she feels regarding the presence of Rashid in her life.
She will be made to chose between the father and son very soon,I guess in future and I hope that she may take the right decision.

You have said it very rightly that while performing the duties of a wife,she should never forget her role as Asad and Najma's mother..

In the whole situation Dillu was totally biased towards Rashid which I didn't like at all.She should be happy that atleast Asad gave Rashid a chance to explain himself.It's not Asad's fault really if Rashid is brainless ofcourse😆

I don't know how many of you noticed this but the scene after the slap where Dilshad sat down on the couch in hall and Zajma and Zoe tried to send her to the room,mommy was shivering with anger while silent tears slipped through her eyes.
It was proved by CVs today that Asad has inherited all traits from his ammi only.Both mother and son have a habit of burning themselves inside by staying dumb.Why do they love silence sooo much?Gosh!!

And here comes the slap issue again.
Well ,I would say that it's all about perception my dear.
Slapping may be horrible for you but it might seem justifiable to others as per the circumstances.

If parents are forbidden from raising their hands on children when needed, right from the first day of the birth of a child as slapping is quite uncivilized then only the Almighty can show the right direction the young generation.
So, I really don't support u in calling the slap uncivilized and horrible.I was expecting Dillu to slap Asad when he was throwing things in his room but thank God Zoe entered that time.😆

But anyways,the topic of discussion is really interesting here.I enjoyed reading your post and the replies here a lot.
Take care!

Nice post😊 Honestly, i understand where Dilshad is coming from but she is being a lil unfair to Asad..More than the slap, the fact that Dilshad still has blind faith in Rashid and is ready to go against her son is what will hurt Asad more..I expected some kind of regret on her part after the slap fiasco given that it was an impulsive reaction but sadly i din get to see any..She was probably too preoccupied with Rashid's thoughts..The sad part is she is refusing to think from Asad's perspective..She has spent a considerable part of her life with Rashid and still harbors feelings for him..So she probably understands him better and is prepared to believe him without any explanation..On the other hand, Asad hardly knows anything about his dad..Add to it the fact that his dad deserted them and he was forced to shoulder responsibilities at a young age..You can hardly expect him to understand his dad when every other circumstance is against him..Another thing which baffles me is Dilshad's tolerance of Rashid's infidelity..All she is concerned about is why he deserted them 17 years back..What about the fact that he was married to Shireen and fathered Ayaan much prior to that..Is her love for Rashid so blind that she was ready to tolerate even adultery?Its just sad that she is siding with a husband who was a coward and still continues to keep mum against a son whose world revolves around her..

Dilshad fail to understand asad pov and unintentionally get biased to rashid

There is just too much of unwanted violence here... violence that should never be acceptable in civilized people. Firstly, Asad slapping Zoya. Then Asad beating up Raghu to the point of making him unconscious... what was the need of that? He could have just found out from Raghu who is behind everything and got him arrested. And then Asad pointing a gun at Raashid...and then Dilshaad slapping Asad... the entire family seems to come across as violent. I really think the CVs should tone down all this... I can understand the reason for these characters to get angry but do not see the need for these extreme violent reactions from all of these 'supposed' civilized people...

Originally posted by: adeeti10

Asma,

Just because slapping aka physical violence seems ok to a majority and is justifiable under certain circumstances, doesn't make it right.

By that logic, khap panchayats could say in the circumstances that a girl and boy from the same gotra marry, we can take action against them.

Years ago, sati was an acceptable practice to many. But that didn't make it right. Yes, I am preaching but the point I'm trying to make here is that a majority justifying something does not make it right.

Coming to the second para highlighted,the logic of "spare the rod, spoil the child" no longer works in today's situation. Increasingly our attitudes to parenting need to change.

That part highlighted bold is just one of the many reasons why Indian kids in Norway or elsewhere are taken from their parents and sent to child protection services. Physical violence begets violence. Why teach our kids wrong?

You don't have to agree with what we believe... That's fine. That's your view. But try to understand why a person is saying what they say. We totally get what you're saying. Heck, that's what mainstream society thinks. But just cos a few think differently, that doesn't make it wrong.

To add, even Rashid's venting his frustration by choking Razia... Doesn't work for me. Physical violence...

Whether its dadi being arm twisted by Razia, Rashid choking Razia, Asad slapping Zoya, Dilshad slapping Asad.. Asad pointing the gun at his father... I condemn it all.

Only dysfunctional families need violence or physical manifestations of anger to vent IMHO.

I know Rashid is estranged from Dilshad and family.

But Rashid and Razia's families are one unit today and Dilshad and her kids are another. So sorry, doesn't cut it for me.

I totally understand the issues related to violence or whatever in the show Adeeti.I get it from where it coming for sure.
You see different people have different psychologies.
A slap may not be justifiable under any circumstances to millions of people but it may appear right for a few people as well.
OK I get it that right from Asad slapping Zoe,Rashid holding Razia's neck and a son shooting is father is too much VIOLENCE in your eyes.
Emmm after watching FSFFE Indian tv soaps and movies,I think I've begun to not take things so seriously especially in fiction shows.

Murders and hundreds of crimes are shown in movies and daily/reality soaps and if I start screaming that everything that is presented is VIOLENCE and should be prevented from shown onscreen then I'm targeting at the fundamental rights of the show makers for sure. 😆

You have full right to condemn what is not acceptable in show,so please carry on darling.
I'm also not much happy with Dilshad today...Infact she disappointed me too.But then when I sit down and look at the complete picture that led to this slap,I think I can connect with her emotional turmoil a bit and feel that the slap was 50% justified.
I wished she had first understood the whole matter before raising her hand infront of a guest in the house.

And yes Qubool Hai is an INDIAN show and not a foreign drama where logic and practical aspects are given more attention than what is done in India.
Emm let's not talk about the practices prevalent in foreign countries.
If children are send to some places in order to protect them from child abuses ,parents are left alone too in their old ages and send to old age homes,etc and children leave their parents in such a age where the parents really need them.(This practice has slowly crept in India as well and I don't intend to offend anyone who is not an Indian.I was simply citing an example here).
So all what is practiced in foreign dramas and real life can't be the same for a country like India which is known for its vast traditions and culture.

Adeeti I don't understand why so much of groupism is happening here on a mere issue of the show.Why are u addressing yourself as WE?Can I please know exactly all the people that belong to this WE?
I'm really upset with the fact that people are fighting here over few particular scenes in the show.Gosh!! Why do we forget that IF is public forum and all of us have the right to share our opinions,no matter whether others agree/disagree to it.We really need to respect each others opinions.I'm so sad that once again there will be two sides on this issue and the controversies shall re-begin.

I completely understand your point of view and I believe that you do the same for my views too.
I had no intentions to offend you or anyone by replying here in this thread.
Dilshad must have failed as a mother to many people but I have not lost hope on her yet.

The last thing I would like to say is that NOTHING IN THIS WORLD IS RIGHT.IT'S ALL ABOUT PERCEPTION.

Thanks a lot for replying to my post in such a wonderful manner.I could really get a better view as to what disturbs so many people regarding the harsh scenes in the show by your post.
Please keep replying to me and sharing your views like this sweety.
Take care!
🤗

Originally posted by: crazy4KASH_AR

Asma,

Just because slapping aka physical violence seems ok to a majority and is justifiable under certain circumstances, doesn't make it right.

By that logic, khap panchayats could say in the circumstances that a girl and boy from the same gotra marry, we can take action against them.

Years ago, sati was an acceptable practice to many. But that didn't make it right. Yes, I am preaching but the point I'm trying to make here is that a majority justifying something does not make it right.

Coming to the second para highlighted,the logic of "spare the rod, spoil the child" no longer works in today's situation. Increasingly our attitudes to parenting need to change.

That part highlighted bold is just one of the many reasons why Indian kids in Norway or elsewhere are taken from their parents and sent to child protection services. Physical violence begets violence. Why teach our kids wrong?

You don't have to agree with what we believe... That's fine. That's your view. But try to understand why a person is saying what they say. We totally get what you're saying. Heck, that's what mainstream society thinks. But just cos a few think differently, that doesn't make it wrong.

To add, even Rashid's venting his frustration by choking Razia... Doesn't work for me. Physical violence...

Whether its dadi being arm twisted by Razia, Rashid choking Razia, Asad slapping Zoya, Dilshad slapping Asad.. Asad pointing the gun at his father... I condemn it all.

Only dysfunctional families need violence or physical manifestations of anger to vent IMHO.

I know Rashid is estranged from Dilshad and family.

But Rashid and Razia's families are one unit today and Dilshad and her kids are another. So sorry, doesn't cut it for me.

I totally understand the issues related to violence or whatever in the show Adeeti.I get it from where it coming for sure.
You see different people have different psychologies.
A slap may not be justifiable under any circumstances to millions of people but it may appear right for a few people as well.
OK I get it that right from Asad slapping Zoe,Rashid holding Razia's neck and a son shooting is father is too much VIOLENCE in your eyes.
Emmm after watching FSFFE Indian tv soaps and movies,I think I've begun to not take things so seriously especially in fiction shows.

Murders and hundreds of crimes are shown in movies and daily/reality soaps and if I start screaming that everything that is presented is VIOLENCE and should be prevented from shown onscreen then I'm targeting at the fundamental rights of the show makers for sure. 😆

You have full right to condemn what is not acceptable in show,so please carry on darling.
I'm also not much happy with Dilshad today...Infact she disappointed me too.But then when I sit down and look at the complete picture that led to this slap,I think I can connect with her emotional turmoil a bit and feel that the slap was 50% justified.
I wished she had first understood the whole matter before raising her hand infront of a guest in the house.

And yes Qubool Hai is an INDIAN show and not a foreign drama where logic and practical aspects are given more attention than what is done in India.
Emm let's not talk about the practices prevalent in foreign countries.