SWARON SS; I DONT WANT U BUT U R MINE updt page 11 - Page 3

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ToujoursPur thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#21

Originally posted by: deep_Tanha

Hey Medha...

That was just amazing...i loved the way u pictured her pain..her pride..her concern..her jealousy ..her each and every emotion..which is related to HIM...loved this line...u portrayed her pain of not dancing and his control over her..so beautifully...

But my heartbeats? They dance, they twirl, they waltz...no longer under my control...when he, in one of those unsettling, startingly sudden manoeveurs  of his pulls me into his arms and under those tufts of his schoolboy hair...obstinately refuses to let go...my heart beats..to the rhythm of his breath...they are under his power ,then not mine.

Her fear..of loosing him...her pride as a girl frnd..her swayam won..awww...her pain of not dancing any more ...how dance connects them...to each other ...u conveyed it all..perfectly

Maybe i wont be able to dance anymore...but he , started dancing only for me...in his dance...i will be there silently...twirling with both my loves...dance and him.. Sharon will never have given dance up,

Even if dance has given Sharon up...






just beautifully u sketched sharon's character ...lovely..thanx for the pm dear..

oh thank you ...i just thought sharon's emotions needed a better outlet than being portrayed currently...a lot was left unsaid
Pooja-J thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#22
Hey Medha please update the next chapter I am eager to know what happens next, please😳
ToujoursPur thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#23

Originally posted by: Hoppy

Hey Medha please update the next chapter I am eager to know what happens next, please😳

 
yeah dear...working on it...will post it as soon as i'm done. nice to see ur eagerness...hope i can meet up ur expectations
Pooja-J thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#24

Originally posted by: medhasarkar

 
yeah dear...working on it...will post it as soon as i'm done. nice to see ur eagerness...hope i can meet up ur expectations


I will be waiting, you have a unique style of writing so no doubts on how amazing the next update would be😳
_bellaSwan_ thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#25
its amazing one i loved u r writing . u have beautifully written sharon monologue its awesome one please update it ASAP 
ToujoursPur thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#26
guys update about sharon's pov i'm a bit late...sorry😳😳 hope u like it and do tell me if u do

Those days i was away from my college, trying and failing to come to terms with this disaster; from my friends...from him...when i got to know that i had asthma and would have to stay away from dance..

.i somehow died.

You know when a branch rots from within and withers away...but ignorant of that fact, has still been clinging on to the tree...as if still in the hope of sustenance; and then one day it simply falls off...with a sudden finality...wizened and decayed...uselessly just flatly present...detached.

Sharon raiprakash. My entire life has been dance. Dance is my dream..my friend..my outlet..my expression..my crutch when i am sad..my amplifier when i am happy.

I was taught to dance before i could walk by my father. It has always come naturally to me. People said i was brilliant...i believed i was brilliant. I have always been very voluble about what i want..its mostly all about me, i the diva with the swollen head...a spoilt person by all means. I have never believed that i can ever be second best in dance...so i have never stopped in declaring myself as the best, cause i knew i was the best. I knew i had and could top any dance challenge.

Who knew...i would one day not be able to even sit for the exam? Let alone top it

 I looked down upon other dancers , turned my nose up at them- preferring to remain an unaccessible goddess with a caustic tongue which can bore the pants off anyone.poor swayam...just how many times did i lash out at the guy...just to show him that he did not deserve me...etc etc bitchiness i laugh at myself for having that attitude. The truth has always been the otherway round.

When did i ever really do anything to deserve a perfect guy like him?

I started questioning myself...and my ego...my feet-not-touching-the-ground attitude, when swayam decided to give me some of my attitude back to me. I have changed a lot ever since the guy entered my life and the years of knowing him and then gradually when i learned to love him...i actually like myself much better now. As rey once said 'koi bechare se angry young man ban jata hai, koi angry woman se non angry woman...love changes people...jab ye changes ho toh samajh lena chahiye ki jiske vajah se ho raha hai...vo bohot hi special hai.  people have admired me, i have been popular, they have even coveted me, but barring very few, like rey, and my other friends who bear my gussa daily...they don't like me. It was not possible to , then. But swayam, swayam's presence in my life has made me a better person...and for that i will be grateful...always

You know the first thing which came to my mind when the doctor passed the verdict of my incapacity was why? Why should this happen to me and suddenly like a blaring echo i heard what swayam once admonished me"your ego will one day be the cause of your disaster"

And i could not help wondering: does pride indeed go before a fall? Was this a judgement on my ego? Is it a payback for all my lashing out at swayam for years...undeservedly and deliberate hurting of him that today, finally when i want to be with him...i am inhibited, forever?

Its like having an appendage cut off...i have like lost a limb or something.

Thats what i feel most...INCOMPLETE. and stuck...stuck in the doldrums, because those dancing shoes he once gifted me have been ousted by my shiny new inhaler...those shoes wont aid me on my dream anymore, that inhaler though will pull me, in the opposite direction from my dream...promising me a wiff of breath, but rendering me suffocated without my dreams at the same time.

It took just one moment to lose everything i had...a sudden cripplement...and a dark finality.

I am incomplete, without dance, there go my feet. Maybe i could crawl using my hands

But i cant offer swayam anything less than the perfect love he deserves, not the hollowed version which might just cause him to leave half of himself...his dance behind. I cant use him as a crutch and stunt him in the process, even if he would do it and more for me. I love him. Cant see him as anything less than what he can be. But then,

I am crippled without swayam...there go my hands.

What remains?. All my dreams have shrivelled up...and all colour is gone. Existence without meaning

Dance had meaning; swayam was meaning. I am losing both.

Countless times have i called people  losers, and today...?

I am lost.

What aches most is...i wanna cheat and dance a bit...i wanna go back and say yes to swayam long back...so i could have been with that perfect person, in my personal paradise, uske saath jhoomte hue, a little while longer...before hell broke loose. That hurts most...possibilities...not Sharon raiprakash's...i have actually started accepting the dance ban for life part...working around it occasionally ;the possibility of being swayam's Sharon...it aches worse.

 

ToujoursPur thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#27
this was so bad guys???????????
Pooja-J thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#28
Hey medha the update was amazing.
It was really heart-touching to see Sharon going through so much, remembering the olden days and regretting the fact that she couldn't be with Swayam long back.
Few lines really touched my heart 

I cant use him as a crutch and stunt him in the process, even if he would do it and more for me. I love him. Cant see him as anything less than what he can be. But then,

I am crippled without swayam...there go my hands.

There was a pain flowing in these lines, really amazing

Waiting for next part, thanks for PM

Anomic_loner thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#29
Hey Medha,
Count a new reader for this ss...😊
I wonder what took me so long to find this work...its just so beautiful...

I always like stories being narrated on someone's pov...and when it is sharon's monologue, then its really a treat to read...
sharon is itself a girl who is too cryptic...and many fails to understand her...
and the one who understands her really well, she is not able to be with him...
sharon's pain, fear, annoyance, remorse and above all her love...u were able to emote all her feelings through ur write-up...and i was really able to relate them with the current track...😊

As i read all the chapters only now...i couldn't reply individually on any updates...so just highlighting few lines which i really liked:

"Maybe i wont be able to dance anymore...but he , started dancing only for me...in his dance...i will be there silently...twirling with both my loves...dance and him.. Sharon will never have given dance up,Even if dance has given Sharon up..."

Sharon was always a strong character, atleast she want others to believe that she is strong enough to face anything...she don't want anyone to see how vulnerable she is...she can't accept anyone challenging her...and its the same thing with dance...she know that she wont be able to dance again like before...but still she wouldn't give up on it, she will still give a chance for dance...precisely for her dream...😊

"And i could not help wondering: does pride indeed go before a fall? Was this a judgement on my ego? Is it a payback for all my lashing out at swayam for years...undeservedly and deliberate hurting of him that today, finally when i want to be with him...i am inhibited, forever?"

This line really touched me...the poor soul is thinking this is a punishment, a punishment for her egoism...a penalty for bashing swayam...and finally when she realizes all her flaws, she is not able to rectify them...another cruel game of destiny...

All in all, really really loved ur writing style...u depicted Sharon Rai Prakash's feelings in an appropriate way...

next time when u update...do pm me as well...😳


luv,

binju







pehlanasha. thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
#30
This was one awesome update dear! ðŸ˜ƒ

I really enjoyed reading this, really. But i think it's time that now you end Sharon
s point of view and show some Swaron as this is just a SS not a FF.

Lovely update. I liked the part in which Sharon said "Dance had meaning, Swayam was meaning. I am losing both" I really loved it.

Thanks for the PM sweetie.

Update soon and keep sending me PMz on this SS.