I had recieved several request to write something along the lines of , what if Arnav did not show up at the mandap! So here goes.
OS: Fire To the Rain
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[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBcMKwbMEcQ[/YOUTUBE]
She crumbled the piece of paper in her hand and threw it in the giant pile of un-mailed letters assembled by the dust bin. She rose from her bed and walked towards the giant window. As she sat on the ice cold sill placing her cheek against the frozen glass panel a tear rolled down her cheek. She sat there in the cold, stark room. The only light making way into the darkness was that of a streetlight that she stared into. A horde of moths flew in and out of focus, happy in their little world. She remained there for hours and as all the energy in her drained she rubbed the tears off her face and ran into the restroom. She splashed cold water onto her face to wake herself to get rid of the numbing in her entire body.
"Make me forget him, make it go ways, make this pain go away. Please God! Please" she begged tightening her grip on the sink as she erupted into tears till she began to choke.
She turned on the shower and stripped her clothes; throwing them in a heap. She stood before the mirror to look at herself, to pity herself, a mere skeleton of bone and flesh, drained of life. She ran her hand over her lower chest over a scar of his love.
She ran her hands through her hair and finally looked towards the floor, but her vision was encumbered by her belly. She protectively snaked her hands around her stomach, her baby, her only hope and reason for existence. She closed her eyes and slouched on the floor, as the water continued to wash over her, soothing her pain. She hugged her knees and closed her eyes.
"Humein apke Pyaar pe bharoosa hai Arnav Ji, Aap pe bharosa hai"
"Khushi don't ever leave me! I won't be able to live without you"
It had all happened in a matter of two nights, the two nights that changed her entire life's course. One night he had made her felt complete, whole, loved and cherished and the next, broken, low, filthy, hated and lonely.
She had begged him, waited for him at the mandap for hours, till the last coal in the holy fire cease to light her life. She had faith that this man was her world, who would never let anything bad happen to her. Trust! was all that this love was about and he had shattered it into a million little pieces. He stripped her of her purity, her innocence, her dreams and her happiness. She went to his house, his office stood in the rain for hours just for a chance, just a mere opportunity to talk to him, question him, and perhaps beg him for her love.
She was willing to take it all, she knew him well to understand his anger, she was willing to deal with it till one day when she saw a side of him she had never seen before. He had dragged her out of RM and thrown her out of the house.
"Khushi Kumari Gupta a woman like you is not worthy of love. You are just like your mother a home wrecker, a beautiful swindle."
"Arnav ji please don't leave me alone. I can't live without you. What about all the dreams we have seen together, of all the time we have spent together."
"OH! I see you want the price for your services." And he threw the money on her face, equating her with a prostitute. Cursing her love by putting a price on it.
That day something in her broke, that day something in her died. It was the respect she had for him, the compassion she had for him, the love she had for him flew away. And she knew that was the last time!
Turning of the shower Khushi stepped into her night gown and dragged herself out of the room. She walked downstairs to her kitchen and placed the kettle on the stove to make some coffee.
She would have perhaps died of depression but then she discovered that she was pregnant. As much as she hated Arnav she could not come to hate this baby. He brought to her life a reason, a hope. Despite the fact that everyday this child reminded her of him, of what could have been she did not have least bit of bitterness, only tender motherly affection.
With her pregnancy she thought would come a new chance but instead even before her little angel made way into her gloomy world her family began to insist on killing it.
"You were not married to him Khushi. Why don't you understand people will consider this child a bas***d? Your father will die of shame Khushi"
Everyday Bua ji enchanted the same lines to her augmenting her pain. They had even tried forcefully to take medication in order to abort.
But she was not going to let anything in the world hurt her baby. She was going
to protect him. And one night she quietly packed her belongings and left the
house. She had walked to the train station and hoped aboard the first train she
found.
"Shimla!" was what she called home now. The coldness of her surroundings comforted her. The place was nothing like Delhi, here there was no one to remind her of everything. No one knew her so she never had to fear the questioning gazes and pitiful looks. She had grown a sense of independence living by herself. She was stronger than she had ever been but never before had she been lonelier.
Khushi sat on her bed and sipped on her coffee and picked up the alarm clock from the side table and set the alarm for 6:00 AM. She placed the cup down and folded her hands for a prayer but as usual did not pray for anything, perhaps her God could hear her heart and grant her wishes that she herself had forsaken. She pulled over her blanket and lay on her bed as sleep evaded her eyes as usual. She was afraid of closing them in fact, because whenever she did she was taken back to those same visions, of a life with him. For deep down she always kept her eyes at the door for the heart he had cut was still wishing that one day he will come running in and sweep her off her feet and beg her for forgiveness.
***
"Chote please have dinner with us tonight" begged Anjali as Arnav returned home from his trip to London.
"Di I am not hungry" said Arnav as he walked inside the house to find his family gathered around the dinner table.
Everyone become quite the minute he walked in. For he was the same old ASR that everyone feared. Khushi's Arnav Ji had died that night she left his life. He was once again the lonely, lost soul in his crowded world, for he himself had pushed her away, the only girl that understood him.
He walked inside his room and threw his coat on the bed and ripped of his tie. He had buried himself in work to keep his mind occupied. It had been six months since he had last seen her, but her smell, her touch still lingered in every corner of this room which is why he hated it. He hated himself for there was never a day that he did not wish that he could have her back, to hold and to love.
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