Should divorce be quick/easy or hard to obtain?

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

In the previous thread, hooked and Vrish have a minor disagreement on the terms of 6 month waiting period imposed on anandi and jagya to divorce.

The question is

Should divorce be quick and easy to obtain... or should it be long drawn out and hard to obtain ?

Vrish stated that in california there are many provisions for "no fault divorce" which just involve both parties coming to the table, having a clear out discussion on child support, alimony, child custody etc. and then coming to a mutual agreement and being done with it. The divorce is immediate, and over and done with quickly, and if both parties have come to an agreement, the court doesnt bother mediating or asking them to work it out. This is quick and easy and saves everyone both emotional and legal and financial hassles.

Hooked states that she prefers the Indian version which does draw it out for some time, so that spouses think before they enter into marriage, and think before they want to exit a relationship. Divorce should not be as easy as just doing a tub of laundry. The long drawn out nature of the process is great for being a barrier to easy dumping of women when a man no longer cares for her. We are not talking of child support or alimony here ... those will be taken care of anyway... but the simple longer time frame will act as a deterrent to people wanting to opt out of marriages like Jagya did for flimsy reasons.

What do you feel and why?

I have my own views but not enough time to type them out now, so will swing by later.

But i thought it would be an interesting discussion.

Thanks!

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Monamie

@monamie111

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

nice topic😳

Well..i don know about other countries...but in India when a marriage breaks the relationship between two family breaks...and it is a big thing for us as we Indians do believe that its saath-janam ka bandhan!😛...or at least this will be for life long! that is why Indian law system gives the couple a second chance to think twice about their relationship! i don think it is bad thing to give a chance to think again...

also, in India, till today people blames the girls more for a broken marriage or a broken relationship!...when a man marries for second time no one question him much! but when a woman marries for second time question arises and everyone treats her like some other kind of a gal and not an ordinary gal!😕 and all these are bcoz in India we are still not treated equally! i have no idea about other countries...how we are treated...i guess this is also a reason that the law system ask to think again!🤔

Edited by monamie111 - 13 years ago

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753037

Suspended

Posted: 13 years ago

I agree with hooked. 6 months is a reasonable time for a couple to think over the pros and cons of their existing relationship. Besides these cheating cases, even for a normal couple this helps. At times people take decisions in haste and repent later, when give a chance to re-think they might put all their egos aside, evaluate their misunderstandings and re-consider their past relationship nd eventually may decide to stay together. I have seen a few couples who decided to give a second chance to their relationship in this period and succeeded in that.

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Monamie

@monamie111

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

if you will ask me what i would want if such situation comes in my life...i would prefer to have a quick divorce and not a delayed one!😊

though i think Indian law for divorce is fair enough...but there are many holes in this system! telling from a true story of my fren's sister!

that gal got married to a "gunda" without knowing the fact that guy is not literate, do not have a job and have spent many nights in police lock up for his wrong deeds! without informing family and without any proper en-query that gal registered her marriage, spent night with that guy. i don know if God forgot to put her brains in the right position!🤓...anyway!..after marriage when that guy started torturing her she came to know the truth! she told her family everything and they went for a divorce! she has so many solid proofs against that guy and she can get the divorce easily and can send the guy in jail! but as the guy doesn't want to divorce her😡, their divorce case is going on since last 2 yrs and still the gal didn't get it!!...and the gunda continuously threatening that gal and also my fren too!!😡 and i guess there may be many cases like this! so i think for such cases Indian law should act fast!! also, there should be some special law for such cases!🤔

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Anmol Jain

@intruderfast

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

i would prefer a quick divorce re , faaltu kaa time waste nahin pasand

and they r adults , they r capable of taking their own decisons

agar woh child hote toh court kaa unko 6 months ke liye time dekar sochna would have made sense

and anyways the girl would get protected she would get alimony from her ex husband so i see no problem in express divorce😆

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Payal

@payalibm

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: -Perseus-
I agree with hooked. 6 months is a reasonable time for a couple to think over the pros and cons of their existing relationship. Besides these cheating cases, even for a normal couple this helps. At times people take decisions in haste and repent later, when give a chance to re-think they might put all their egos aside, evaluate their misunderstandings and re-consider their past relationship nd eventually may decide to stay together. I have seen a few couples who decided to give a second chance to their relationship in this period and succeeded in that.

quit a fortunate couple here u talkin bout...really quit understanding and in real sence a educate couple...coz this is quit rare ...this dsnt really happen...this is truly a dream world if it has even happened and both relaises mistake and want to try again and coz they realy want to try thts y they get sucesss...

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Suchi-

@Suchi-

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

in India, even though sometimes its not good , like for Anandi's case, usually its better as the men always try to escape responsibility ( majority) and would want to get rid of their wives easily to marry another.

ANd our society is not very kind to divorcees nor do they give opportunity to women like here in the west.

And its better, this way couples can work out their marriage -specially if kids are involved.

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753037

Suspended

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: payalibm

quit a fortunate couple here u talkin bout...really quit understanding and in real sence a educate couple...coz this is quit rare ...this dsnt really happen...this is truly a dream world if it has even happened and both relaises mistake and want to try again and coz they realy want to try thts y they get sucesss...

It happens and so this 6 months period is necessary atleast in India.I wasn't talking about one couple. I was talking about a few couples among many i have seen cause i work in a field where i see depressed people .. some of them are people with divorce issues. The root cause of these problems are usually egos, complexes and arrogance leading to mis-understanding ...which could eventually be solved when taken a proper guidance whether it comes through ones parents,friends or counselors. Of course things can be solved only when the couple is open to suggestions and when they do not hold grudges on each other.

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hooked

@hooked

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

Hi Tinoo - good u opened a new thread for this topic

My problem with the CA law had been that either party cud file a motion for divorce and it wud be granted.

See this is what Vrish says :

They should have 'no-fault' divorce decrees, like in California. There, either of the spouse files for divorce, it becomes automatic, no questions asked. This law was introduced to reduce the runaway legal costs of divorces. Had something like that existed here, either of these 2 - Jagya or Anandi - could have had their marriage terminated the first time s/he wanted it.

The way I understood it - it means either person can apply for the divorce and get it - mututal consent to get a divorce is also not a requirement !!

That is downright unfair ! The divorce can come like a bolt out of the blue for the other partner in certain cases. What if someone was studying and the other supporting them for it, or someone needed hospice or some other care and the other one bails at that very instant ?

The other party shud have a say in getting a divorce, same as when the other party has to say - "I do" when getting married. It has to be a twosome affair. And I agree it may make sense in CA where most people are financially independant and/or atleast acquire marketable skills in high school to make them financially independent. But CA is far far away from Jaitser where a marriage is thought of as a bond for not just "till death do us part" - it is for 7 lives !!

Our culture (and it can use serious reform - I agree) does not allow even a widow to get married as easily as it allows a widower. Also - a divorcee woman specially - is always considered stuck-up or difficult and basically "not right" and finds it very difficult to settle down again. A guy will never face as many hurdles as she does.

My parents generation had never used the word divorce. People hated each other and deserted each other but did not approach a legal seperation which thankfully this generation does not mind getting.

Divorces are sometimes necessary - my friends too had a tough time getting hers coz her hubby was a lawyer and did not want to live together but did not want her to find someone else either. Our laws need to be eased to the extent that a divorce shud be available in max a year, but instant 2 minute divorces I'll never be able to approve of...

Edited by hooked - 13 years ago

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Picasso9

@Picasso9

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#10

One teeny observation I have extending from what Asru says is that in India, couples usually stay with extended family and privacy and intimacy among couples can be compromised. This can lead to a lot of misunderstandings. Especially, and I have seen this, for example, the MIL doesn't want to see her son helping his wife with household chores and to prevent his ego from getting hurt, the husband and wife start having friction. Little incidents like this can multiply, escalate and lead to complete breakdown in the relationship. So a cooling off period of 6 months can help rethink, refocus and realize that sometimes divorce is not the solution and the relationship is worth saving. Especially if it is over petty stuff.

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Should divorce be quick/easy or hard to obtain?

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