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CHAPTER 5
I searched for her, but she was nowhere to be seen. I ran a frustrated hand through my hair. It was then that I felt something wet in my hair. I looked at my hand only to realise it was blood. I looked over to find my shirt collar drenched in blood. She was bleeding. NO. She couldn't be. I went back to the basement to check if there was any blood there. I searched for the light switch for the one bulb that was lighting the room was not providing enough light. I found it and turned on the light. The floor where she was dancing had dry blood all around. As I turned to leave the room I saw a crystal angel kept at the shelf beside the door. It was all too familiar, I gave it to her. It was then I realised that the room was full of the things I gave her.
She kept it all.
She loved me.
She still did.
How can she just run away? I needed answers. She had no right to run away from me now that I know she still loves me. I could feel her love in her kiss. I won't let her do this, not to herself not to me not to our love. She will have to answer me at any bloody cost.
It was then I saw that picture on the wall---
------*--------*-----------*-------*--------*--------*-------*---------*--------*----
What did I do?
Now he will never ---.
What am I going to say if he---
What if he finds out---
God, what did I do? How could I let myself become so weak, how could I ruin everything for him. He will not be able to bear the truth---
It will break him and I can't let that happen, I won't let that happen. Why god... why are you doing this to me... first you take him away and then send him back. Why---
I crumbled to the ground hoping it would simply tear off into two and engulf me. No...No... I have to live... for her...I have to... she needs me.
As I sat there cursing my life he called out to me---
"Geet"
I wiped my tears and braced myself to be indifferent, to be as rude as I could be. He has to leave me. He can't know the truth.
"I knew you would be here" he started to move towards me
"Why have you come here" I asked.
"I need answers" he stood behind me.
I wish I could tell him, I wish I could run into his arms, I wish I could tell him everything but I can't do that to him--- he won't be able to face the truth and even if he will be I can't risk it. I'm so sorry Maan but I have to this "well then I don't have any, you may leave"
"I won't"
"You will have to"
"I will not"
"Fine... then I will" Saying this I turned to leave but I didn't realise it was already dawn and he would see my cuts. And he did see them.
"Geet... how did you... what are these" he asked as he came rushing towards me.
I tried to walk away avoiding his questing but he hauled me by my shoulders and forced to face him. I kept looking at the ground. He cupped my face and forced me look at him "look at me Geet"
"What are you hiding...how did you get hurt"
"I slipped in the bathroom"
"Do I look like some school going kid... one doesn't get such deep cuts by slipping"
"It's up to you believe it or not"
"Stop lying"
"I'm not lying...there is no need for me to lie... why I would... who are you to me... no one... now let me go"
"Who am I... you are asking me what I am to you... I'll tell you... I'm the man who is in love with you... I'm the person whom you love"
Please Maan. Please don't look at me like that. I won't be able to let you go. I can't do this Maan. I love you but you have to go. I love her too and I can't risk her life "no I don't"
"Don't lei Geet, I know you do"
"I hate you"
"You love me"
"I hate you"
"You love me"
"DAMN it don't you get it once... how many times I am to repeat myself...I hate you"
"why don't you get it you can't lie... you can never lie to me Geet...you're forgetting I always catch you... so there's no point trying coz you won't succeed anyway"
"Let me go"
"Why did you break your promise?"
"It's my wish... just who are you to question me"
"I'm not here to tell you who I am... both me and you know the answer very well... so you better answer me"
"Why are you doing this Maan... please don't... please let me go... that's best for you"
"And you get to decide what's best for me... no Geet... I have an equal say in the matter... this is not the best for either of us"
"Maan...please... don't do this to me"
"you say you don't love me then why are you crying...why have you kept everything I gave you...why did you hug me... why did you kiss me...why Geet... give a valid answer and I'll leave you alone"
"I'm married... and this is not the way you behave with a married woman"
"I give a damn... I know you don't love him... so stop this I'm married thing right now"
"How can you be so certain?"
"How can I not be?"
"I do love my hu ---, let me go"
"Say you love him, you're his wife right, then say you love him, why are you hesitating, say it"
"I...I....I don't need to say anything to you"
"You don't have anything to say. You love me and stop denying it coz you do"
"It doesn't matter"
"That means you do"
"It doesn't matter"
"Of course it does"
"Please"
"I love you... I love you Geet"
"I hate you"
"I love you"
"I hate you"
"I love you"
"I...I... I love you... I missed you... missed you so much...so much" I finally gave in to my feelings. I can't keep running from him.
He brought his face closer to my cheek and kissed away each tear that escaped my eyes. He let his forehead rest against mine while cupping my face.
######Maan's monologue######
"Tell me Geet...please Geet... tell me what's wrong... tell me once and I'll make all the pain go away...I promise... tell me"
She looked at me once and hugged me. "I can't bear it any longer Maan; I can't live like this anymore... I LOVE YOU... love you so much"
"I know... I love you too" I kissed her to stop her sobs. She kissed me back.
We just stood there in each other's arms. Time went by and none of us broke the silence.
Then she fainted.
Precap: I beg you... she needs me...
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