PROLOGUE...
Just like it had been then, I am standing here admiring one of the most spectacular wonders of nature, listening to the music of water midst the greenery covering the surroundings of the cascade but he is not here with me this time.
I come here often to forget, to try put behind everything: my existence, my pain, simply everything; this place which was once our secret hideout is now my place of escape, from me. Exactly this day four years back at this very place I happened to meet him, by chance literally. Call it twist of fate or coincidence, both our cars broke down at the same place , at the same time, fortuitous as it sounds; maybe it was meant to be like that, we were destined to find each other and so we did but -----
I am absolutely clueless as to why did we meet only to-----.
It hadn't been a few hours since we met and there I was already in love with him. How could that be, how can someone fall so head over heels in love with a stranger within a matter of hours, this question was and still remains as it is, no matter how hard I try I can't find the answer. Well I guess that's just love, it happens on its own and once you are hit by this bug there's no going back. Sometimes I laugh at the irony linked with this place, I first met him here and I last saw him here. This place is the witness to my love for him, to his love for me, to my promise which has lost its relevance at the cruel hands of time.
In the past three years not a single day has gone by when I've not thought of him and certainly there would never be one. Had it not been for his love I would be dead by now, my memories of the time I spent with him are the only rays of light in my otherwise dark life. I know this is wrong, I know I haven't the right to think about him, I am a married woman, goddamn it and that is my reality which will never change , I like it or not that's my life and destiny as atrocious as can possibly be yet it is true.
Never once did I imagine myself to be so helpless to even dare to dream. Everything is so true from my love for him to my appalling life, I am still breathing but my soul died long time back, though to everyone's eye I am a lucky girl married to well established business man, living a life any girl would want, little do they know 'every shining thing is not silver' this is the worst life a girl would ever dream of.
How I wish he would come and rescue me, how I long to be in the embrace of his protective arms, how I miss him, how I love him, how I dream of him coming back to my life. But these are just one of those many wishes which are too good to be true; these are far better dreamt of than anything else. I know no will come, I have accepted my fate yet sometimes just sometimes I get to thinking what if he does come back, what if he takes me away with him to a far off land where no one will ever separate us, just what if. But there's no place for a 'what if' in my life, I'm no princess, my life is not a fairytale rather it is a living nightmare which seems to have no end.
When I was a 15 year old teenager, I dreamt of my prince charming coming on a white horse, sweeping me off my feet and taking me away to my happily-ever-after; I was a hopeless romantic back then.
When I was a girl of 19, he came in my life and everything changed. It was like a waking dream fulfilment, like my own fairytale. He became my life, my reason to live; he defined my existence to its core. He was my prince charming. I was living my dream.
And then, when I was a woman of 20, my life took a sharp turn and changed for the worse. My dream turned into a nightmare, my life was snatched from me, and my reason to live no longer existed.
Now I'm a 23 year old married woman, living like a stranded ship half filled with water begging to sink but the water is to shallow.
I still believe love exists but just not for me. I wasn't born to be loved. Love is not meant for me, I realised it the hard way though.
Cricket
Pati Patni Aur Panga
Jaane Anjaane Hum Mile
Tum Se Tum Tak
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