Who wears the trousers in a r/ship? matters?

6508 thumbnail
Posted: 16 years ago
#1
Tried to find debate on it with all keywords - nothing so sorry if there are similar topics. Yes right now, on going debates how men and women are treated etc etc So not sure if this is similar.
The image of a woman "wearing the trousers" in a relationship isn't a pretty one. This description is usually an insult to the man and a dubious compliment for the woman at best. Online, trouser-wearers are described variously as dictators, calling the shots, in charge of the relationship, and worse. Their counterparts are doormats, under the thumb, and "suckers".
Its a cliche phrase that the man should wear the trousers in the relationship.
But Who wears the trousers in a relationship? Does it matter?
Should it be equal (after all give and take in a r/ship) or Should it be the man ?
Your take?
[P.S Americans ,Trousers = US Pants [=)]]
There are a lot of jokes about wives bossing their husbands ' but the truth is, in order for a relationship to flourish, there needs to be leadership from both partners? In diff areas? Like supporting husband's decisions - Women feels protected safe if the man wears the trousers? She is no doormat but is fine with partners decisions and doesn't feel that is controlling.
There are lots of celebs where it is seen the women is wearing the trousers in a relationship...
scenario edited - sorry i realised i had mixed two different topics of mine up - copy/paste haha sucks.
What about your r/ship - equal or one is more dominant than other?
Edited by anon - 16 years ago

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return_to_hades thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#2
I don't think she is making the decision for both in that scenario. She does not believe in LDR's thats that. It is a personal choice. If she was to continue the relationship, won't it be an imposition on her. Would it not be him making the decision for both.

I think the continuation or end of a relationship, when one person changes their mind will always be one sided. When one person wants out, the relationship is meaningless if it continues.

Traditionally, men have tended to call all the shots. Whether its starting or ending one, the direction it takes, men tend to call the shots in a relationship. Women have started putting their point of view forward too, and be expressive. I would not call it taking control of the relationship, but more of taking control of their own life choices.

Psychologically in any relationship there will be a leader and follower. But when one person takes charge most of the time it becomes a lopsided affair. Ideally, each takes charge depending on what their strengths and comfort levels are. One person maybe good with the finances, the other person with handling kids, one person maybe good at handling emotional situations, another person maybe good at physical situations, you take turns being in charge based on the need of the hour.


*Woh Ajnabee* thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#3
Hmm, nice post.

I think that a balance is required of the two, there will be aspects of the relationship where the man will be in charge, and there will be aspects where the woman will take charge. There's nothing wrong with that, a balance is needed, and most of the time it naturally occurs, and allows the relationship to be healthy.

As far as the phrase "wearing the pants" goes, I don't think there's anything wrong with the men wearing the pants in the relationship. The phrase comes from the traditional view of men going to earn the money and the women staying at home and taking care of the kids. Although the times have changed, human nature hasn't, I think most women like having a man they can depend on, someone who will take charge and be able to provide for her and the family. Its not that the woman can't do that herself, but its just a natural tendency that most women, who are secure about their relationship, and their status in the relationship, want. Of course this doesn't apply to all women, but I think its a generalization we can make. Likewise, most men are happy knowing they can provide for their families and be able to support their significant other. Again, something that is inherent in the male gender.

Plus in most cases, men are happier wearing the pants, and women are happier letting the men think they are wearing the pants ... you know sufficing both the ego and the need to take control. 😆

As far as your example goes, of the woman breaking off the relationship, well I don't think it has anything to do with "wearing the pants" ... its a matter of a relationship breaking, and those usually are one-sided. It won't be fair to either if she continues the relationship just because she doesn't want to hurt him. She shouldn't have to put herself through that and the guy deserves much better than that. But that's a different issue, IMO.
qwertyesque thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#4
see i wear the lungi so i am not sure why i need to wear the trousers....
raj5000 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#5
Similar topic opened by Maya_M, even I am unable to pull it up. Have all my views there..Basically the conclusion was balance in life, nothing gender specific matters. Will try to find ti tomorrow. Thanks!
There is one more that was based on mswnbc - money article...digging..😳
Edited by raj5000 - 16 years ago
apux thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#6
So what do you guys think of stay-at-home dads and women going to work?

Also, I was listening to the radio, a topic came up about how men always like to drive when in the car with their wife/girlfriend. Does a man look "whipped" or "pantless" while sitting in the passenger's while their girl drives??
Edited by apux - 16 years ago
402587 thumbnail
Posted: 16 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: apux

So what do you guys think of stay-at-home dads and women going to work?

Also, I was listening to the radio, a topic came up about how men always like to drive when in the car with their wife/girlfriend. Does a man look "whipped" or "pantless" while sitting in the passenger's while their girl drives??

That's one heckuva smart dad. He'd be even smarter if he can get his woman to toil in the field while he takes a nap on a charpoi. 😊
I dont much care who drives. In fact, it's much safer they drive. I dont want to be hitting an elephant or sumthing on the road just because i am totally sozzled.😊
-Believe- thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

see i wear the lungi so i am not sure why i need to wear the trousers....

^😆😆
SuperMan style try karke dheekna dha pant ke ooper lugi😛😉
6508 thumbnail
Posted: 16 years ago
#9
Thanks for responses, will read soon, i have no internet of my own right now. Edited scenario - just realised copy/pasted wrong one - was working on situation of week for AC Corner. 😳
Mods- if its repeated topc, you can go ahead and close it.
Thanks.
qwertyesque thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: Believe

^😆😆
SuperMan style try karke dheekna dha pant ke ooper lugi😛😉

😆😆

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