Posted:
Heya Guys!
I am back with a Rahi OS!
It is very emotional!
She was child-less. But she always took the pain bravely. At 32, all doctors had refused her to have any hopes now and any number of visits to the best specialists, gynaecs or clinics brought only 1 thing - more bills! Ranveer, her husband had often discussed adoption procedures with various orphanages where they could possibly go, which to her meant that even he had given up any hopes of having a child of their own.
But Panchi was unfazed. She had not lost her hopes until today when 1 of her doctor-friend visited with their reports and broke the bad news, "Its not about him Panchi, its about you. Unfortunately, your body betrays you and it just cannot bear a child. Sorry but god didn't design it that way."
Hearing this, her world shattered. She cried and cried, and cried more. Her friend tried to console, but couldn't succeed and so she dutifully called Ranveer to come home immediately.
Ranveer , along with Panchi's family tried a lot to cheer her up but she started getting worse from that day onwards. She started losing interest in life and used to remain lonely. Ranveer who loved her very much tried bringing up the topic of adoption again to which she meekly responded, "I would feel worse if you have to live with an adopted child, especially after knowing that you are perfectly capable of having one!"
"How does it matter Moti! Its not about me alone, its about us. If you cannot bear a child means I cannot have one. we must look ahead now."
"Yes we have to look ahead. But adoption is not the' solution. My heart wont accept it. besides what will i tell my mother? what will everyone else think?" she retorted.
"You are being ridiculously orthodox! Let them think what they have to."
"No Ranveer. If you love me, you would not adopt a child."
"Fine. we will do as you say. Please get back to a normal life now. I love you very much." saying this, he assuringly hugged her. Panchi promised that she will try to think of a solution and also resume her professional life etc which was on a sabbatical. Ranveer assumed this episode to be over.
However it couldnt. Even though Panchi resumed her work as an architect, she wasn't her chirpy self anymore. She talked very less, including that to Ranveer and her interest in activities subsided, except for reading in a far corner of the house. Ranveer tried but eventually succumbed to her behavior, and hoped that time will be her healer.
Couple of months later, Ranveer threw a party for his colleagues, as a celebration for his promotion. He was basically responsible for a new technology, a new product that their company had successfully launched. Many juniors and new recruits etc came to congratulate him in the banquet hall where the party was hosted. A pretty young girl who had joined their company just a month back walked upto him to congratulate. She noticed Panchi, standing sombrely with him so she asked her, "Is everything okay mam, you must be very proud of him"
However, Panchi curtly replied, "Proud, oh yes very. 6 years of our marriage and he couldnt give me a child. and in 3-years time, he already gave your company a new baby to show off! I am so proud of him indeed!"
The girl was embarrassed, and so was Ranveer. He turned to her and said, "Panchi what's wrong with you? Can we please not talk about all this here."
She was still upset and just said, "I am leaving."
"Panchi stop..." but she didnt listen to him and walked out.
"Listen ummm..."
"Rukmani, sir."
"Yes Rukmani. Listen, I am very sorry about that. She is just not in the mood today.."
"I understand sir. I can totally understand her..her grief." Rukmani said smilingly. She was actually very cute too, Ranveer observed.
"By the way sir, if you don't mind me asking, why don't you guys go for those test-tube babies and all." she asked.
"We have explored all options. But it didn't work out. The only option left was to adopt a child but Panchi doesn't agree." and then he quickly switched the topic, "Which department are you in?"
"I am in product development sir. Infact i am supposed to be in your team only. Its just that you were keeping busy for last month or so because of which, we weren't introduced!" she said smilingly.
"Very well then! I would like to know you more today." And offered a drink. She agreed. They talked a lot for the rest of evening and developed a friendship of sorts.
Back home Ranveer again tried to talk to Panchi. "Listen Moti what you did today was very wrong. We all understand, we totally do. But you shouldnt have said this in front of my junior. this girl is totally new to the company. think about the gossips she could do!"
"Well, isnt that true Ranveer?" Panchi asked.
"Not all of it my dear. Look I never say its your mistake or my mistake. Its god's wish. We shall accept it." He purposely said it diplomatically, not wanting to hurt her emotions.
"I dont know all this. All I know is i cannot have a child!" Panchi said angrily and went off to sleep.
Now Ranveer was a very reasonable person but he felt that this is getting too much. The next day he called her mother and told everything, '' Aunty, please help Panchi understand. Its not that only she is childless. I am too. But if she behaves like this all the time, then even i can get hurt." Her mother promised to talk to her and convince.
That day in office, his office mates were all over him and thanking for the party. Particularly Rukmani who couldnt stop beaming ear-to-ear as she saw him enter. She got him a nice card which said Congratulations, and placed it on his table. When he saw it, he called her in.
"Thanks Rukmani but you already congratulated me yesterday." he smiled.
"Yes sir, but this 1 is for a different reason. You did a great thing yesterday too." she remarked.
"What?"
"Sir you made a great friend, a friend for life. and her name is Rukmani!"
Ranveer smiled again and said, "Lets have lunch together. I have got pasta . Panchi cooks well." Sure she said and promised to join for lunch.
In evening however as he returned home, Panchi was ready to pick up a fight again.
"Did you call mom?"
"Yes i did! I thought she could also try to counsel you."
"What counsel? And why? Listen this is about you and me. this is between you and me. You have no right to drag my mother into this! Besides she had warned me not to marry you, i only was the fool' in this relationship!"
"Now thats too much Panchi. You must remember the doctor's reports! My sperm is doing fine! Its only you who cannot conceive! But did i ever complained about it? NO. Because it doesnt matter to me who can do what. I love you, but looks like you only love yourself!" he shouted back.
In a husband-wife fight, normally 1 person fights while the other one stays calm. However when both shout, things usually get out of control as it happened between them. One thing led to another and the very next day, Panchi left the house leaving a curt note behind - i am going to my mother's place. not sure if i'd be returning soon. go impress your juniors'
Ranveer's ego was also hurt this time. He decided not to pursue her to come back till she herself realizes her mistakes here. Panchi on her part was adamant not to return either.
Meanwhile in office his closeness with Rukmani grew. Very soon, he was promoting her with out-of-the-way assignments etc and hey closeness to the boss was becoming evident. they used to have lunch together almost everyday, while in evening, sometimes went out for movies or dinners or even pubbing; something Ranveer had quit long ago. He started enjoying this freshness in his life once again to a point where he didn't quite miss Panchi anymore. Yes he still loved her, but then he was also irritated of her behavior.
6-months had passed since Panchi left home. A couple of times, her parents tried to reconcile their differences by talking to each one of them individually, but neither of them budged from their position. Eventually, Ranveer's closeness to the young & vibrant girl, Rukmani came to a level where one day she came to his house and cooked a meal for him. During their meal, she told him, "Sir, can i tell you something. I love you." Ranveer smiled and kissed her. They made love that night on the bed which Panchi used to rule...
Two days later, Panchi's mother called up. Ranveer picked the phone. She sounded tense but just called him home. As he reached there, he saw a lot of people gathered outside. Somehow he made his way to the main door where there was an ambulance parked and from its back-door, 4 men took out a body on a stretcher and placed it there. Ranveer was puzzled. Just then, his mother-in-law came out running and crying, "Panchiii!!"
Ranveer was rudely shocked. He went ahead and slightly removed the cloth from that body. It was indeed Panchi's. Her eyes were shut and it looked like she was sleeping. He said, "Kya hua isko??" nobody replied. He grabbed the collar of a guy from the ambulance, "I said what happened to her?"
He said, "We are very sorry sir. She died in an accident this morning..."
Ranveer stood there, dumbfounded. After a minute's shock, his knees sank to the floor. He couldnt believe it, neither could he cry. Rest of the events that followed didn't occur to him as he eventually fainted. The cremation was carried out by Panchi's family and Ranveer couldn't be a part of it as he lied on a bed at her house for next 3-days straight, without eating or drinking. He could never imagine Panchi could die like this. Yes he now had a new girl in his life, but Panchi's space was irreplaceable.
When he finally got up, his mother-in-law was sitting besides him. She was sobbing very lightly still. Ranveer didn't know what to say to her. He just started getting up, to go back to his home. Yet, he told her, "Aunty, my biggest regret in life will be - that i didnt come to make-up to her this time. So many times we had fought before and every time, i came to get her except for this time. And look what happened" and he started crying too, for the first time since her death's news.
But she said, "Dont worry son, thats life. But don't be stuck to your biggest regret now, just like my stupid daughter did - her biggest regret being that she couldn't give you a child..." and added, "else life will be meaningless. Go on. Move on. You need to. Your Panchi also wanted it."
Ranveer looked at her with questionable eyes. She handed him a diary and said, "Panchi used to write this diary since last few months that she stayed away from you. This morning only i found it and read it. As i said, your Panchi also wanted you to move on."
He started reading, "Day 24 (without you) - my dear love, i feel so alone living away from you. Today only i realized that the biggest joy to me will not be the child that we did not have. But my greatest joy was to be with the person that i love the most - you Ranveer. I know you also feel the same for me. But trust me; fighting with you and then living away from you is perhaps the only way that I could think of, which will give you a chance to forget me. And find someone else. Who can complete you. In this lifetime unfortunately, i know that its not me. But i pray that in all my lives to come, i get you and only you."
He turned on the page.
"Day 26 (without you) - my dear love, i called your office and found out that you had gone out with your colleague Rukmani. On enquiring more, i have come to know that she is the same pretty girl from that party. I sincerely hope something happens between the two of you. i will feel jealous, but nevertheless happy for you. I know if you will ever come to know, then you feel upset about why i did so. but really i love you a lot and thats why i am doing this, just that my love has a different meaning."
Ranveer understood everything. He got up and went home. the same day he proposed marriage to Rukmani and she agreed. 2 years later, they had their first child born.
Kumkum Bhagya
Anupamaa
