The rain had finally stopped. The sun came out and everything looked bright and fresh again.
"Mumma, can we go to the park?" Kiya asked her one morning as they were eating breakfast.
"Sure, sweetie." She smiled at her daughter. "We can go today since it finally stopped raining. I know how much you love the swings."
She smiled and went back to eating her chocolate cookies.
Bharti watched her from the other side of the table. Her daughter was so precious to her, such a beautiful, special little girl. Her eyes dark brown eyes were so attractive.
She had Fahad's eyes and his nose too. She looked so much like her father in many ways. It was so sad that she didn't know her papa.
"Mummy, how come I don't have a daddy the way the other little girls do?" she had asked her this one day when they were playing in the garden.
The question had taken her completely by surprise and she didn't know how to respond to it. She had pointed to someone walking their dog then just to get her mind off of the question. It had worked and Kiya hadn't asked her again. It still burned a hole in her memory.
"Mumma, how come I don't have a daddy..."
She thought about her own father. She hadn't spoken to him in four years. She knew she had done a horrible thing by leaving him that way but he had hurt her so much too. He had worked so hard to raise her the right way and she had let him down by getting pregnant at 16. But she had loved Fahad and she was a good mother to her daughter. If only he could see her, he would be so proud of her. Tears burned in the back of her eyes. She had struggled so many times with calling her dad but she knew that it wouldn't do. He would probably be so angry at her and wouldn't forgive her for what she had done. He would probably tell her never to bother him again and then he would hang up the phone. Her dad always had a bit of a temper.
The doorbell rang and she knew that it would be Kunal. She went to let him in and he was holding a huge bouquet of flowers for her.
"Good morning." She wished him.
"Hey." He grinned at her and kissed her cheek. "I've got to get to work but I wanted to bring you these." He gave the flowers to her. "Can we have dinner when I get home from my shift?"
She nodded. "Just swing by."
"Bharti..."
She looked at him.
"I love you," he told her.
"Kunal..."
"Ssh." He kissed her again. "I'll see you in a few days." He touched her face and then left.
She clutched the flowers and felt herself shaking. She liked Kunal a lot. He was great to her and Kiya but she knew that she could never love him back. She still loved Fahad.
**********
"I love you," Fahad had told her for the first time when they were out on their date. He had taken her to a movie and then for McDonalds. "I really do, Bharti." He reached across the table to cover her hand with his. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me." He reached into the pocket of his jacket and took something out. He put it on the table in front of her.
"It's my grandmother's ring," he explained to her. "She gave it to me before she died and it means a lot to me. I was real close to her and... well, I'd be real proud if you wore it."
She picked it up, blinking back sudden tears. "I don't know what to say, Fahad."
"Don't say anything. Just know that I love you. I really do, Bharti. I can't stop thinking about you when we're not together. When we are together I'm so happy. I've never felt this way before and I like it a lot. Thank you for making me happy." He reached across the table and gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
She smiled as she wore the ring.
"This means so much to me," she told him as she squeezed his hand back. "I love you, Fahad."
**********
I love you, Fahad.
"Fahad, did you hear me?"
He opened his eyes and turned to Krishna(aka Juhi). "I'm sorry?"
"I said I love you." She cuddled close to him and sighed.
They were lying in bed together. Fahad was completely distracted. He had tried so hard to make her happy but he had failed. She had wanted to make love and his heart hadn't been in it. Ever since he had that conversation with Maria, he couldn't think about anything else except Bharti.
Krishna grazed her long, red fingernails on his bare chest. She was a beautiful woman, stunning in every way. He was lucky to have her. She was a gorgeous blonde with a perfect figure and he was the envy of every man that he knew. And most importantly, Krishna really cared about him. She was a decent woman who really loved him. He knew this and yet all he could think about was Bharti.
"What is it?" Krishna asked him in a soft voice. "You've been in another world ever since you picked me up. What's wrong?"
He looked into those pretty chocolate brown eyes of hers. "Nothing's wrong, honey, really."
She smiled at him, revealing perfect white teeth.
"I thought maybe you were mad at me for something." Asked Krishna
He shook his head. "Of course not. Why would I be mad at you?" He sat up and the sheet fell to his waist. He ran his hand through his short hair and looked out the window. Night was falling fast. "At least it stopped raining."
"Thank God for that." She sat up next to him, the sheet stretched tight over her ample breasts. "Fahad, I know something's bothering you. I wish you'd tell me what it is."
He had told Krishna about Bharti a long time ago but he hadn't gone into too much detail.
They had a conversation about past relationships that had been more lighthearted than anything else. He had never told her about how he still thought about Bharti and his baby, how he was obsessed about her day and night. He knew he had to tell her. It wouldn't be fair to go on the way they were when his heart was still with someone else.
"Fahad?" she said his name softly and put her hand on his shoulder. "Just tell me. I need to know."
He turned and looked at her. "You're a great girl, Krishna."
She smiled. "Is this the 'you're a great girl but I can't see you anymore' speech?"
He sighed. "I care about you a lot but... remember when we were talking about our past loves that night? Remember when I was telling you about the girl Bharti I used to date?"
She nodded. "Your high school sweetheart."
"Well, there's a lot more to it than that. I... I got her pregnant and she... well..."Fahad found himself telling Krishna everything. He owed her the truth.
When he was done, she tried to smile but tears threatened her eyes. "What will you do, Fahad? You have no idea where she is. You don't even know if she's met someone else. At least I'm here. I love you. I want you, Fahad. I want to make you happy."
"I wish I could make you happy too but it wouldn't be fair to you. I've got to find Bharti. I don't know how I'm going to do this but I have to try. I'm going back to Mumbai to see if her dad is still there. I've got to do something. I can't live like this anymore with the not knowing. I hope you understand."
"And if you do go back and she's not there and he's not there then what will you do? Will you come back to me?"
"I don't know, Krishna. I couldn't give you what you need, what you deserve. Please try and understand that."
She shook her head. "But I love you, Fahad. I don't care if you do go to Mumbai and find her. I'll still love you. I'll wait for you if she's not there."
"Krishna..." He reached out and cupped her face in his hands."You're really special to me. Please remember that. I want you to know that."
"I do. Thank you."
He kissed her lips tenderly. "I know she was your sweetheart," Krishna said quietly.
"She'll always be my sweetheart," Fahad replied and lay back down again.
**********
Jhanak
