"I wanted nothing more out of life than I did to keep my family together and make sure they were safe. The memory of those days reminds me of how exhausted I had been, but my brothers gave my life purpose, they were my bridge from pain to healing, from past to future. They are as much the authors of my survival as I am of theirs."
Ruth Wariner, The Sound of Gravel
Dear Swara didi
The other day you asked me what did I need as a wedding gift. I asked you to wait for my answer. I thought about it for days but than I looked at him and realized I needed him to be happy. I need my brother's happiness again if you are willing to give that. Ever since you have gone he hasn't smiled genuinely. I know he doesn't sleep peacefully and often drinks at night. His dark circles betray him he tells me that he is fine but I can see in his eyes how much he misses you. You are his salvation. Didn't he save you countless times both literally and figuratively. The first time when your dear sister for whom you left my brother tried to kill you he was the only one who was there. I am not going to judge you for helping your sister. You were only fulfilling your sibling role but what about your role as a wife. He both silently and verbally pleaded with you to stay that day. You disregarded his pain and his anger. I am not saying my brother is a saint god knows he has made a lot of mistakes but I thought Swara you were always the one who readily forgives. So why couldn't you forgive my brother that day. Do you even have an ounce of an idea how much he suffered in the past six months? Your departure tarnished his reputation Badi Maa refuses to talk to him. Nobody values his opinion anymore the other day he apologised because he couldn't say anything to Mom about my wedding. He has been looking for Laksh Bhai like a mad man. Often he comes back home bruised and battered and I always ask him if he is fine. He always says he is but he clearly isn't. He needs you Swara Bhabi. Oops I can't call you Bhabi anymore you took that right away from me. Why is it that when anything happens you always blame my brother? Gosh the way he loves you always leaves me awestruck. He was so patient with you in your entire memory loss ordeal. He left the comfort of his house for you twice. He even changed his appearance to get close to you. You know how much effort he put into all your events and dates? I always used to look at him and pray that I could find someone who loved me like he loves you. You are his princess but he was never your prince. He is your knight a useless piece that you can throw away any time you want. You have broken his heart so many times but he still loves you. You know he still can't hear any nonsense Mom says about you. You know if I was at your place I would have never let him go. I would have stayed. I know he doesn't show it but my brother yearns to be loved. You see he was the middle child. Laksh was always loved for being the youngest and I was adored for being the only girl he was just forced to grow up quickly. Maybe that's why he looked for love outside. Maybe that's the reason he loves so intensely. It was so easy for you to wipe your sindoor and break your bond that day. Need I remind you Swara that you ran away from jail to marry him. What happened to that Swara? Is she lost somewhere in trying to make everyone happy? I just have one request stop thinking about all of us for once think about him. Unfortunately, you are the only one who can fix him. So please fix him. Come back he needs you. Don't wait for Laksh to come back and for everything else to fall into place. Be there for him when everything else is in shambles to show him that you will always stay no matter what.
"I want to hold his hand, but I know he will shake it free. His eyes are too full of guilt to really see me, to see his reflection in my eyes, the reflection of my hero, the brother who tried always to protect me the best he could. He will never think that he did enough, and he will never understand that I do not think he should have done more."
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Purple Hibiscus
Yours Sincerely
Uttara Ram Prasad Maheswari
A/N: Another drabble set in the future. I couldn't stop thinking about it after the Uttara and Sanskar scene in the previous episode. Hope you like it:)
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