~SwaSan Story ~ A Bound Relation ~ Updated Epilogue - 10/04~ - Page 63

Chapter 44:

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Same Day...

Priya: Go... (whispers)

Veer: Priya, please, don't make me do this. Not yet at least. He's not in a good mood. Besides, it's never good to do anything in haste. You need to be patient...

Priya: (hotly) I have been patient long enough Veer Mehra... Now, will you go in there and apologize to your brother or not? (demands)

Veer mutters under his breath for a whole minute, cursing his wife for making him do this, as he is pushed ahead into the direction of the Study. He walks down along the hall slowly, feeling anxiety build within him by each step he takes. Just as he reaches the door, he turns back and sees his wife mouth, "Good luck," and gives him an air kiss before abandoning him there. Taking in a deep breath, Veer knocks on the wooden door...

"Come in," he hears Sanskaar answer in a rather distraught tone. Veer hesitantly opens the door...

Sanskaar: Laksh... I will be there in thirty minutes... Just handle things there until I arrive... I will see you then.

Sanskaar cuts his call and drops it into his pant pocket. He looks up and his face hardens from being faced with the image of the reason for all his current problems and he sneers, looking away from him.

Veer: Bhaiya... (nervously)

Sanskaar: Don't call me Bhaiya... It sounds filthy when you say it... I am nothing to you... and you are absolutely nothing to me.

Veer: Bhaiya please... (pleading)

Sanskaar: (growls) What do you want? Do you wish to take anything else from me? --- You've already taken away my happiness... Would you now want me to give you my life?

Veer: No... I don't want anything... I never meant to take anything from you.

Sanskaar gives a short laugh, as if this is the most hilarious thing he has ever heard.

Sanskaar: Of course you wouldn't... You obviously have no idea what you are doing, do you? ---You take away from others...and feign innocence in the end... How brilliant. If there were an award for the best deceiver, then it would be you Veer Mehra.

Veer becomes infuriated by his inability to give him a chance to explain since the past couple of days and being constantly accused, also he is greatly misled into believing Sanskaar speaking of Priya, his ex-fiance.

Veer: I agree that I have taken something from you... I also agree to sneaking behind your back and snatching her from right under your nose... But what I did was out of helplessness... I love her... I love her so much that I am willing to do anything for her and to have her... You never loved her... I wasn't going to afford losing her to a man who didn't even love her to begin with...

Sanskaar glares at him, seething with fire, and absolutely livid at his accusation towards him. He blasts at him in an enraged tone...

Sanskaar: How could you possibly accuse me of not loving her? I have loved her more than anyone else! She is my life, she is the sole reason of my happiness, the only woman who I have ever truly loved, and you have taken that away from me! ---- What have I ever done to receive such a deception?! I had brought you to my home, gave you everything that you have ever asked for, treated you as a brother, provided you with a luxurious life and yet you continue to deceive and take from me!

Veer is literally shaken into a shock on hearing his words. He is in love with Priya? When had he ever loved her? How does he still love her? --- He had been so sure, so sure that he was starting to love Swara instead. How did he miss this? How did he become so mistaken?

Veer: Bhai, I did not mean to take anything from you! I did not do this intentionally! I was too much of a coward to admit my love for her in front of you. The very last thing I wanted to do was take away your happiness... You are not just my brother, you are my everything---- I could never imagine ever doing something like that to you even in my wildest dreams!

Sanskaar: But you have---- (cutting him short) You have Veer.

Veer: Bhaiya, I do not wish to argue with you. In fact, this is the very least thing I want to do. I only seek for your forgiveness...

Sanskaar: (scoffs) Forgiveness...

Veer: Yes, forgiveness...I have returned home just for that... And to take the woman I love back with me... where she belongs.

Sanskaar: (outraged) She belongs here! Here with me, dammit! ...But you have already succeeded in taking her away from me... Tell me Veer... Was Priya not enough for you that you had to come back here to take my wife instead? To ruin my life all over again?

Veer, who was ready to shoot back an equal reply, loses his voice just as he hears what his brother shouts at him. He stands motionless, staring at him completely astonished.

Sanskaar: You already damaged my life once... By stabbing me behind the back and running off with Priya... But slowly I came to accept it as a part of my fate... and began to think of Swara as my present and future... I began falling in love with her, but before I could even make an attempt to build my life afresh with her in it, you came along only to break my dreams and hopes all over again... Tell me... Are you satisfied in taking away from me yet again? Or will you always be coming back for more?

Veer rewinds throughout their whole conversation and starts putting things together, finally realizing that he had been talking about Swara all along. But how did he get the misconception that he (Veer) was after his wife? Swara has and will always be his best friend and sister...And now his sister-in-law...who he has begun to respect as equally as his brother. How could his Sanskaar Bhaiya possibly think he was after Swara? He wouldn't... He wouldn't steal the love of his life from him; he knows how much she means to him... He had seen it in his eyes.

Veer: ...Bhaiya... (his voice dropping) You are terribly mistaken... I never intended on taking anything from you... Including your wife... In fact, I would never even think about taking her away from you... or intentionally hurt you in any way...

Sanskaar: The bloody hell you don't------

Veer: Sanskaar Bhaiya,... I had been speaking about Priya the whole time, while you spoke about Swara Bhabhi...

All the anger inside of him comes to an abrupt halt as he absorbs in what Veer had said. Sanskaar's face slowly relaxes and he gazes at Veer in a clear, surprised startle...

Veer: I mistakenly assumed you were speaking of how I had taken Priya away from you... Not realizing that you were accusing me of stealing your wife instead.

Sanskaar: ...What do you mean to say?

Veer: What I mean is... All that you had said about me and Bhabhi are false... We are not involved in any sort of romance... In fact, nothing like that has ever or will ever occur...

Sanskaar: (further stunned) Bhabhi?

Veer: (smirks a little) What else will I call my brother's wife if not Bhabhi?

Sanskaar feels dazed from what he has heard and sits down onto his chair, feeling the need to, and rests his head into his hands.

Sanskaar: Do you mean to say that you have never held feelings for Swara that were more than just friendship ever before?

Veer: Yes... Bhabhi has always been my best friend and in some way a little sister to me. I would never think romantically or inappropriately about her... The only woman who I have ever loved is Priya... and I had come back to take her with me.

Sanskaar takes this in and shuts his eyes, feeling like a fool for accusing him unabashedly of being involved with his wife. But suddenly his eyes open on a thought...

Sanskaar: You two had gone out a lot this past week... I had thought...

Veer: You had thought wrong... Bhabhi had been helping me throughout the week in how to win Priya back... She was just as desperate as me to re-patch my marriage with her.

How could this make any sense? It wasn't adding up at all. Sanskaar had thought Swara was in love with Veer, which is why he had made the difficult decision in letting her go. And now he finds out that she had only been with him for the past week to save his marriage with her sister?

Veer: ...Bhaiya... I only want to say is... that I never wanted to hurt you... I love you too much to even do so... because by hurting you, I only hurt myself...and I am sorry for bringing you only pain and troubles... I am trying my best to not be a misery for you anymore... If it is possible, I hope that you forgive me... I am willing to do anything to receive your forgiveness...Even if it means to wait for it.

Leaving that as his conclusion, Veer exits from the Study abandoning Sanskaar behind in confusing, debatable thoughts...

Uttara, who had been listening closely by, moves aside as Veer comes walking out from the door and does not meet his eyes as she slowly makes her way into the Study... Veer disappears from sight after being ignored from his sister-in-law.

Sanskaar's whole body tenses with distress over the happenings in his life. Nothing was making sense to him. For the past week he was convinced that Swara was still in love with Veer and that Veer reciprocated her feelings back. But now he finds out that no such thing had happened and that she had only been helping in with his marriage. However, he clearly remembers his wife muttering to him in an almost unconscious state, confessing her love for her best friend. Does she or does she not still love Veer?

"Mr. Maheshwari?..." he hears a distant soft, quiet voice call for his attention. Sanskaar raises his head up and finds Uttara standing across from his desk, looking politely back at him.

Sanskaar: ... (clearing his throat) Yes Uttara, what is it?

Uttara: May I tell you something?

You might as well... Seems like everyone has something to say to me today, he answers mindlessly to himself but says to her instead, "Yes... you may."

Uttara looks unsure of whether to sit, come near, or just stay in her place. She decides on the latter.

Uttara: Mr. Maheshwari... During my childhood, I had always known Swara Didi as a very bubbly, witty, and fun-loving girl who tried to live her own childhood to the fullest. She always had looked down at me and Priya as her dear baby sisters and included us in on everything... But since our parent's death, she began to hide herself in a shell... The girl who always spoke pointless things had suddenly become serious. She no longer looked at her sisters as her friends, but as her responsibility...as her children... It was as if she felt that she had to take over our parent's place in our lives...forcing her to change herself and mature quickly for her age. She became into such a natural mother and father figure in mine and Priya's lives that we never missed our parent's absence...

She sees that she has confused Sanskaar by not giving him any lead on where she is taking this conversation... Uttara lightly smiles on what she says next...

Uttara: ...Mr. Maheshwari... I have seen my old sister alive whenever she is around you... She seems to come out of her shell and forget her responsibilities... Forget that she has to think of other's happiness but her own... I see the same old smile that she used to always wear on her face when she is with you... Swara Didi has finally become what she really is... Herself... And that too, only because of you... You have taught her to think of herself as well... You have brought back the witty, fun-loving person inside of her that she had kept locked inside of her... Only you have been capable of doing this Mr. Maheshwari... only you... I see that you are confused... You are unable to follow what I am saying... So I will put it in simpler words... My sister is hopelessly in love with you...

Sanskaar feels his heart race fervidly and his insides turn in a somersault. Everything around him seems to whirl around, making him feel a little lightheaded. He stares, perplexed and stupefied by Uttara's statement...

Sanskaar: (stammers) Your sister... Your sister---- she loves Vee---

Uttara: (intervening) Mr. Maheshwari, Didi had never loved Veer...

Another powerful blow...

Uttara: I will not lie to you and say that she had never felt any feelings for him before, because she had... But what girl does not have her share of crushes? ...and that was what Veer was to her...A crush...A stupid crazy infatuation. She had thought it was love... but it was only up until she began falling hard for you that she realized she never loved Veer to begin with... You are the man that my Di has ever been truly in love with Mr. Maheshwari... And perhaps may be the only one.

Sanskaar can feel himself literally choke from smothering emotions stirring inside of him... Shock... Regret... Relief... Joy... all at once. He does realize though that he has screwed up big time. Ruined his own chances of being happily married with his own two hands... What is wrong with him? Why couldn't he have asked Swara this himself? Why is he always messing up whenever it deals with her? Oh God... what had he not said to her since the last ten minutes... He had told her that the most memorable night for him and for her (he now realizes) was a huge mistake... He has even told her that their marriage is just a compromise... What a fool he has been...

Uttara: Everyone can see the love Swara Di has for you... Everyone, but yourself... You were too oblivious to notice what everyone else could... how much Swara Didi is in love with you.

Sanskaar is quiet for a long period of time and finally speaks up in a cracked voice and eyes full of tears, "Uttara... I have made a terrible mistake."

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"That night was a mistake"... "I release you"... "Our marriage has only been a compromise"... "just a mistake"... "I no longer have any right over you"... "I know what I want" ..."It shouldn't had happened"... "just a mistake"... "Perhaps this is the best for the both of us" ... "I release you"...

Swara walks in a deranged manner along random streets to absolutely nowhere...having no particular destination... and no home... She had once believed her home was with her husband... but how can she possibly believe in that now when her own husband speaks of breaking their marriage? ...Who doesn't love her? Believes she is in love with another man? And is willingly giving her up without any hesitation? ...Does he hold no feelings for her at all? Had he not experienced the same passion, bliss, and magic that she had in their marriage?

"That night was a mistake... just a mistake... It shouldn't have happened."

She had heard regret in his words when he had spoken them...a certain restrained anguish... Does that night really torment him that much? That same night which had meant everything to her? Will he only think of her as a constant reminder of that "dreaded" night? Yes... Why else wouldn't he meet her eyes? She will always be regret for him... keeping the memory of that night alive for him...

Tears pool in her eyes and she unashamedly sheds them, not caring whether anyone sees, not caring if she cries in a crowd of thousands. All she knows is that her heart has been wounded... wounded so severely that she is unsure if it will ever be able to heal...

I cannot go back... I can't... There is no home for me back there... He doesn't want me there... He wants me to go... He regrets that night when we had become one... He thinks of our marriage as a burden... He doesn't love me...

I don't wish to remain there as a bother... If he doesn't want to remember that night, I will stay out of his sight... If he wants me to go...I will go... I won't trouble him anymore...

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Sanskaar drives around the city in a frenzy with Uttara in the passenger seat. He curses himself continuously, calling himself bad names, and promising never to forgive himself if anything happens to his Swara.

Sanskaar: You are sure you don't know where your sister can be?

Uttara: She rarely goes out... And she hasn't known the city well enough to know a lot of places... The only time she had ever gone out was when she had been working... and then she would only go straight to the office and back home.

Sanskaar: Sh*t... (slamming the wheel)

He steps on the brake, bringing the car to a slow halt before the red light. His shoulders become tense with stress and his whole body shakes slightly with nerves, worrying over where his wife can be and whether she is safe. Sanskaar looks into his rearview mirror then over his shoulder, and decides to take the car elsewhere to continue looking, not having the patience to wait. He cuts across a couple of cars, earning himself a few angry honks, and zooms again onto other roads.

Oh Swara... where are you?...

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"Do you have any idea how cute you look when you blush?"... "I never want to see tears in your eyes again" ... "I want to see you happy" ..."You're too good to be true"... "You are my wife God dammit" ..."You're beautiful" ...

"Hey! Watch it lady! Don't you know how to walk?!," she hears a man distantly yell at her, almost bringing her out of her deep trance... This is when Swara begins to notice the sound of the thousands of chitty voices surrounding her, cars rushing past her, and occasional honking. She doesn't bother apologizing to the angry man and follows absentmindedly where her two feet lead her to...

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Uttara: Mr. Maheshwari! --- Mr. Maheshwari! Wahan dekho!!!--- Swara Didi!

Sanskaar follows the direction in which Uttara excitedly points to... About two roads over, there stood his wife, dressed in the same red saree from before, walking unconsciously in the medium of the roads, her hair blowing softly in the air, and her arms dangling to her sides. Relieved on finding her and worried of her unawareness towards her surroundings, Sanskaar abruptly stops the car and dashes out from it, leaving Uttara behind, and runs to his wife... Uttara gets out from the vehicle as well and stands nearby, watching her brother-in-law rush to her sister...

"Swara!," he calls out to her, trying to speak over the noisy environment around them. He sees her continue walking on, oblivious to his voice... "Swara!," he tries again... His heart stops and his feet momentarily stop as he sees her move on into the road in a daze, where an approaching car speeds ahead in her direction... Immediately Sanskaar breaks out into a fast, speed run as his head pounds hard with terrible thoughts and anxiety. "Shona..." he screams on the top of his lungs this time and sees her stop in her tracks, turn around, and stare at him as if she has just woken up from a captivating dream...

Her face begins to brighten on his appearance... "Sanskaar," she whispers... He comes closer to her in fast strides. "Sanskaar!," she calls back earnestly and smiles in relief on seeing him coming to her... Perhaps she had been wrong. Maybe there had been a misunderstanding... She knew that somewhere inside of him...he had begun to love her as well...knew that he wouldn't let her go...

"Shona, nooo!!!," Sanskaar yells in terror as the car meets his wife into a full fledge hit, causing her to fall like a rag doll, laying on the road absolutely lifeless. Heavy sobs arise in him as he nears her, coming to a slow stop near her fragile body, and lowers down next to her. He wraps his arms around her, places her head onto his lap, and stains his hands with her dark blood in the process... Stroking her hair as he cries helplessly, Sanskaar gathers her close against himself, and pleads desperately to her...

Sanskaar: Shona... Shona...

Seeing her eyelids open slightly and stare up at him wearily, Sanskaar tries hard in reassuring her well being...

Sanskaar: --N-nothing's going to happen to you... You're going to be fine... (his voice stammers with clear fear and hysteria) ----- Somebody please! Call an ambulance!!

Feeling her breathing cut short, Swara begins gasping for air, and feels her eyes water on seeing the tremor on her husband's face... She reaches out to him, cupping the side of his face, and musters up all the strength inside of her to be able to say her last words...

"Sanskaar...," she calls out to him breathlessly... Sanskaar takes her hand and kisses it sweetly.

Sanskaar: I'm right here... (tears falling fast) I'm right here... (murmurs soothingly)

Swara: ...Sanskaarrr... (she whispers softly)

The final words she hears her husband say to her before slipping into a never ending darkness were, "Stay with me... Stay with me."

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