Redemption: A Swara/Sanskaar & Ragini Story [Pt10-Pg33] - Page 4

Part 3

For the first time Ragini noticed the clothes she had discarded earlier in her post-consciousness daze. She saw a bright red lehenga and lot of jewelry that she didn't recognize, including a mangalsutra. Her heart skipped a couple of beats as she stared down at the black beaded chain in her hands. This was supposed to signify her marriage to the Man in Blue, but was it really worth anything if she had no memory of it?

An internal argument raged between her traditional upbringing and the logic of the current situation. He was her husband, regardless of whether she remembered it or not, and she had been taught that she should wear her suhaag ki nishani proudly. Her suhaag ki nishani displayed her status to the world and stamped that she was someone's, that she was loved and taken care of, and no one but Him had the right to even look at her. However, her logical side argued that it felt wrong to suddenly claim herself as someone, a wife and a daughter-in-law, when she had no recollection of donning these responsibilities.

Ragini jumped and the black beaded chain slipped from her fingers when she felt someone place their hand on her shoulder.

The person turned out to be Swara, who caught the mangalsutra before it fell to the ground. Swara placed the chain back in her hands and curled her fingers over it to secure her grip.

"I don't know what to do with it." Ragini whispered this admission to her sister.

"Keep it with you, but don't wear it." Swara suggested in a matter-of-fact way. "There's no need to stress yourself over something small like this Ragini. Give yourself some time to absorb everything and you will have your answers."

Ragini felt a smile come to her face at this simple advice. This is why she had wanted a sibling her whole life.

She noticed that Swara had changed out of her lehenga and into a simple but elegant green salwar-kameez. It was very different from her usual western skirts and tops. "You look very nice in Indian clothes Swara. I have never seen you like this."

Swara smiled at the compliment and smoothed down the edge of the dupatta, as though still unused to the presence of that particular garment. "Thanks Ragini. I had to change my style a little after marriage. Our sasural is a little bit traditional."

Ragini recalled the multiple family members she had seen, and yes, they did appear to be quite traditional. Just the kind of family her dada and dadi would pick.

"Why did you stay here Swara?" Ragini asked with concern. "Why did you not go back with Jijaji? Sanskaar Jiju? Bhaiya? Sanskaar Bhai?" Ragini tried different variations of his name with a frown, trying to find something that sounded correct.

Swara smiled at the younger girl's efforts. Her face reflecting the confusion she felt. "You and he were friends before marriage. You call him just Sanskaar."

Ragini watched her silently, waiting for a response to her question. But how could Swara answer her? How could she explain to this innocent Ragini was a mess the current situation actually was, all thanks to her? What would she say? Well Ragini, Sanskaar and I are actually just friends that never intended to get married, but you forced our hand because your obsession with Lakshya tore our parents apart and left their relationship in ruin. Not to worry though, Sanskaar is actually an amazing friend who has genuine feelings for me, but I am such a broken and dysfunctional person, burned by every single man in my life, especially your husband, that simply can't bear to let another man in, even if he is someone as perfect as Sanskaar. So I am here, away from him, so the poor guy actually gets some breathing room and some space on his own damn bed!

Swara let out a bitter huff without realizing that Ragini was watching her carefully, her face twisted in concern. "Is everything alright between the two of you Swara?"

Swara forced a smile on her face for the sake of her recovering sister. "Yes Ragini. All is well. I just wanted to stay here with you while you recover. Come, Maa is calling us down for dinner."

Ragini didn't look convinced, but followed her silently anyways. Swara had forgotten the lost little lamb that Ragini used to be once upon a time.

Dinner was awkward at best.

Swara was disappointed that her family was unable to pull themselves together even for a simple meal.

She understood that Ragini had said and done terrible things in these last few days and they were all very disappointed in her but her family could at least make the effort to appear normal.

Ragini felt the tension around her and kept her eyes on her plate, picking at her food silently.

"Laddo." Her mother crooned gently and ran a hand lightly over Ragini's head. "Why aren't you eating beta?" Ragini looked up at her in surprise. Her mouth fell open and she seemed unable to find a way to respond to the motherly affection showered upon her. Maa served some more food onto Ragini's plate. "Finish all your dinner beta, then you should take your painkillers and sleep."

Swara could see her sister's eyes misting over as she stared dumbstruck at the older woman. Her heart went out to this girl who had never before experienced the love and affection of a mother and had been completely blindsided with it.

"Ok-okay Aunty." Ragini whispered, awed.

"Maa." Her mother corrected with a smile.

"M-m-m-maa" Ragini hid her face in Maa'a side and sobbed.

Maa rubbed her head to soothe the crying girl. "What's wrong Laddo?"

Ragini shook her head. "Nothing," she mumbled. "I'm just so happy."

Swara was disappointed once again to look around the table and see the impassive faces of everyone else, the people who were actually Ragini's blood relatives. At this tender a moment, they still could not distance themselves from the actions of someone, who at this point was but a memory. Ragini would find no support here.

No matter, she was there for her sister.

Ragini heard the clinking of bangles from the next room as she toweled her hair dry. Curiosity got the best of her and she silently made her way over to what she realized was Swara, her sister's room.

Just like her, Swara was getting ready for the day already dressed in an orange salwar kameez. Ragini watched as Swara picked up a little silver box and filled her maang with sindoor. She had seen a similar silver box on her dresser and she realized with a jolt what it signified.

Swara spotted her in the mirror and smiled a greeting. "Good morning Ragini. Are you feeling any better today?"

"Yes, but I still don't remember anything." She replied with dejection, waking this morning with the same confusion that she felt yesterday.

"It's alright; the doctor said it could take some time." Her sister assured.

"Shona, come downstairs beta. Sanskaar is here." Both sisters heard the call from downstairs and Ragini observed the instant brightening of Swara's smile as she quickly excused herself.

She smiled at her sister's excitement at seeing her husband and resumed drying her hair. Back in her room Ragini spotted the silver box once again. She discarded the towel on a chair and gingerly opened the innocuous little box.

There is was. Sindoor.

Ragini looked at herself in the mirror and saw that the sindoor from yesterday had not completely washed out, but it was barely visible. It was her duty to apply some every morning.

She looked down at the red powder. Just a little bit, a pinch. That's all it took.

Then why was her hand refusing to move?

She closed her eyes and pictured the revulsion of the Man in Blue, her husband. She couldn't do it. Surely her family, him, his family, they would all understand?

Ragini was brought out of her thoughts when she heard escalated voices from downstairs. Hastily pulling on her matching dupatta she rushed downstairs to see what commotion was about.

"Are you crazy Lakshya! What is wrong with you?" She heard her sister yell from the sitting room.

"Why Swara? If she is faking it, then she already knows this is coming. And if she isn't faking this, as you claim, then none of this will matter to her anyways! I want her off my back!" Ragini watched as the man in blue fumed at her sister. This was the first time she was hearing him talk.

"Ragini is sick, Lakshya. She needs us. She doesn't know what's going on. We can't shock her like this." Swara tried to reason.

"Ragini is not the fragile doll you all think. She is a twisted witch with an innocent face. You thought the same thing last time Swara and you saw what happened, what she did. I want her out of my life before she does it again!" Ragini's heart thumped wildly at the venom in her husband's voice as he spoke of her. She felt tears prick her eyes as she watched the scene. Why did he hate her?

"We have to give Ragini the benefit of the doubt this time Lucky. Just give her one chance." Her brother-in-law, Sanskaar tried to soothe.

"My decision is final bhai. Come hell or high water I am getting her to sign these papers." Her husband exclaimed adamantly.

Ragini couldn't bear to hear any more. She got a good taste of exactly what her husband thought of her. She stepped further into the room so as to be spotted by the three occupants. "What are the papers? I'll sign them."

***