SSEL - a tale of selfishness vs selflessness

Firstly a note to Apu and to all who have commented in her post - brilliant 👏👏👏 you guys have penned your thoughts really well.

Beautiful post, Elita. Supposed to be working now *winks shame-facedly* so will reply later.

A brilliant post, Eli! ⭐️ Thanks so much! 🤗

What particularly spoke to me was how you described what women in our society go through after marriage, where a ton of expectations are foisted on them, but no empathy. 😭

Am sure most of you like me started watching SSEL as to how CV' were going to handle this color discrimination in our society which has plagued our people for decades. Education has not refined our society in any way...sad to say so but I feel it's the truth.

Yes, I watched it for the same reason. Its first promo was so intriguing and brought up an issue that afflicts many across our country. However, we have only been disappointed, because this issue has become lost in the Suhani vs Phateechars slugfest.
Coming to Suhani, I feel very sorry for her, because at this point, other than Bhavna, I feel there is no one who cares for her and can guide her properly. I won't include Pankaj and Lata in this list, because they have very regressive attitudes on how a woman should behave with her in-laws. She is truly alone. It saddens me, that a bright spark of life like her, has been all but snuffed out by a few people who choose to degrade and humiliate her. Suhani comes from a traditional set up, and perhaps, I notice her oppression more, because I come from a liberal family. My mother would never give me the kind of bullshit advice Lata gives her and ask me to tolerate people like Dadi and her Phateechars. 😡

The best part of this post was how you said that everyone has played Lord Brahma in Suhani's life. They have taken away the power to decide on her OWN life from her and molded her fate to their liking. 😭

Pratima, like all the others, has used Suhani too. It's the bitter truth that we all have to accept. This line sums it all up-

She recognized Suhani's free spirit attitude and still let ppl cut her wings...?? Really sickening...if you ask me.

She thought Suhani was the solution to all of the Birlas' problems, particularly Yuvraj's attitude, and expected her to magically breathe life into BH. She never thought about how Suhani would survive in the hellhole that is BH. She threw Suhani into a burning cauldron of viciousness, hoping she would emerge victorious, and do what Pratima and Sharad couldn't do all these years.

As for Yuvraj, I agree with you that what Pankaj and even Pratima did to him was abhorrent. In fact, I had made a poll about how many were in favour of YuvAni's forced marriage and I voted for a 'no'. I feel what happened to him was gross injustice, because no matter how disgusting his beliefs were, no one should force a life-changing decision like marriage on someone. 👎🏼 I don't have a problem with his initial attitude and how he took the marriage.
My criticism of him began when he joined ShaTima in lying to Suhani, keeping her in the dark, while not wanting to take their marriage forward. 😲I also have a huge problem with how he let Dadi and her goons torment Suhani in front of him, without saying a word. He let Dadi actively pick away at Suhani's self-esteem and dignity, while standing mute. In today's world, nobody would let someone speak to their friend (won't say wife) like that. He wanted to remain in neutral and not take any decision regarding the future of his relationship with Suhani, knowing it would lead to unhappiness for her. He's a Birla too, and all the Birlas have a habit of brushing things under the carpet and pretending problems don't exist, instead of dealing with them. I think that was a mistake he made and it was very unfair to Suhani.

As for SSEL, I doubt things will ever improve and looking at their writing, I feel they are not equipped to deal with all these serious issues maturely. They can only come up with cliched TRP-fetching slugfests and nothing more. These CVs aren't capable of dealing with colorism, prejudice and discrimination, unfortunately.

Originally posted by: Elita

Education has not refined our society in any way...sad to say so but I feel it's the truth.

And then Yuvraj too...the brash, arrogant young man who had a typical teenager's idea of beauty and love.

But his upbringing is so strong and deep rooted that his mind refused to accept the inner beauty...he just acknowledged it, but never accepted. Like fools we too failed to see his rigidness. Few concerned words from him and we mistook it for love and raised our hopes. But none of it turned fruitful so far.

This is the fate of many women in our society...no matter how educated you are, or how worthy you are...your life at times is at the mercy of such in-laws. They decide and dictate your life depending on how well you fit into their frame...they never value what you are, but how profitable you'll be to them all.

Marriage is a gamble...a deal. If the deal's worth it your life is bearable...else misery keeps knocking every other day. You need to keep them all happy...and your happiness matters to none. This I have witnessed in my own circle of relations and friends. And all in-laws are highly educated ppl who have held good positions in their careers and are financially very well off too. A DIL can never be the daughter and MIL can never be a mother ( again a personal opinion).

She could have requested Suhani to put some sense in her son as friend too...but why marriage only? She recognized Suhani's free spirit attitude and still let ppl cut her wings...?? Really sickening...if you ask me.

As of now am more angry and hurt by Pankaj and Pratima than am with dadi. I feel they betrayed Suhani more...of well Soumay too. Each, for their own gain played 'Lord Brahma" (God of Destiny in Hindu mythology) in Suhani and Yuvraj's life.

I don't blame Yuvraj much. Sure he has angered us all since past few days/weeks with his insensitive actions...but tell me one thing gurls - If you were forced to live with a person for whom you have no feelings for...would you have been any different from Yuvraj?

He has always been honest and clear about his feelings for Suhani with Sharad and Pratima. Yet these two never stopped playing cupid in his life...either love happens or it doesn't. It has to come from within...it cannot be forced, and ShaTima were doing just that.

Yuvraj values Suhani...and only time can convert this value and respect for her into love. he trusts Suhani more than his dadi...for this at least he deserves some credit.

Yuvraj may have forgiven him for the blackmail but not forgotten...forget Yuvraj, even Pankaj himself has not forgotten his blackmail. Being a father he failed in his duty...and hence I feel he has no right to show his anger at Yuvraj.

Amazing post Eli...
Claps * Claps *
And a big hug 🤗
Agree with each and every word of your...
So true...
I really wish if CVs could read it...

Great post the title says it all

Originally posted by: clarity

A brilliant post, Eli! ⭐️

What particularly spoke to me was how you described what women in our society go through after marriage, where a ton of expectations are foisted on them, but no empathy. 😭

Am sure most of you like me started watching SSEL as to how CV' were going to handle this color discrimination in our society which has plagued our people for decades. Education has not refined our society in any way...sad to say so but I feel it's the truth.

Yes, I watched it for the same reason. Its first promo was so intriguing and brought up an issue that afflicts many across our country. However, we have only been disappointed, because this issue has become lost in the Suhani vs Phateechars slugfest.
Coming to Suhani, I feel very sorry for her, because at this point, other than Bhavna, I feel there is no one who cares for her and can guide her properly. I won't include Pankaj and Lata in this list, because they have very regressive attitudes on how a woman should behave with her in-laws. She is truly alone. It saddens me, that a bright spark of life like her, has been all but snuffed out by a few people who choose to degrade and humiliate her. Suhani comes from a traditional set up, and perhaps, I notice her oppression more, because I come from a liberal family. My mother would never give me the kind of bullshit advice Lata gives her and ask me to tolerate people like Dadi and her Phateechars. 😡

Pratima, like all the others, has used Suhani too. It's the bitter truth that we all have to accept. This line sums it all up-

She recognized Suhani's free spirit attitude and still let ppl cut her wings...?? Really sickening...if you ask me.

She thought Suhani was the solution to all of the Birlas' problems, particularly Yuvraj's attitude, and expected her to magically breathe life into BH. She never thought about how Suhani would survive in the hellhole that is BH. She threw Suhani into a burning cauldron of viciousness, hoping she would emerge victorious, and do what Pratima and Sharad couldn't do all these years.

As for Yuvraj, I agree with you that what Pankaj and even Pratima did to him was abhorrent. In fact, I had made a poll about how many were in favour of YuvAni's forced marriage and I voted for a 'no'. I feel what happened to him was gross injustice, because no matter how disgusting his beliefs were, no one should force a life-changing decision like marriage on someone. 👎🏼 I don't have a problem with his initial attitude and how he took the marriage.
My criticism of him began when he joined ShaTima in lying to Suhani, keeping her in the dark, while not wanting to take their marriage forward. 😲I also have a huge problem with how he let Dadi and her goons torment Suhani in front of him, without saying a word. He let Dadi actively pick away at Suhani's self-esteem and dignity, while standing mute. In today's world, nobody would let someone speak to their friend (won't say wife) like that. He wanted to remain in neutral and not take any decision regarding the future of his relationship with Suhani, knowing it would lead to unhappiness for her. He's a Birla too, and all the Birlas have a habit of brushing things under the carpet and pretending problems don't exist, instead of dealing with them. I think that was a mistake he made and it was very unfair to Suhani.

As for SSEL, I doubt things will ever improve and looking at their writing, I feel they are not equipped to deal with all these serious issues maturely. They can only come up with cliched TRP-fetching slugfests and nothing more. These CVs aren't capable of dealing with colorism, prejudice and discrimination.

Originally posted by: drummedup

👏 👏 👏 👏 👏

Elita, seriously one big 🤗 for this post and specially the bits in bold.

You have said it all. This is the root of problems and it is a very REAL problem. I hope the creatives understand the sensitivity of the situation and deal it with maturity and understanding that it deserves. If they handle it well, it will truly become a remarkable show for addressing so many stereotypes!

I really hope creatives read your post and get an idea of what they are driving at and what they should do. This is a much more fascinating individual journey than a mere love story... a beautiful love story will make it more heart-rendering!

Once again, fantastic post! ⭐️

Originally posted by: anita_m

Beautiful post, Elita. Supposed to be working now *winks shame-facedly* so will reply later.

Originally posted by: rbb1

Great post the title says it all