Sita's pain and new perspectives..

I was wondering - why is no one understanding Sita's pain?

nice one and an opt one as well. hope you don't mind if I put in my few words.

@Jaya
Ram also promised Sita that they will be together in practicing all the dharms. Here he gives more importance to Rajdharm more than putra dharm or his promises to Sita during Saath Phere. So like wise can't Sita give more importance to her patni dharm more than her duty as kulvadhu.
Her husband is not going for a war or for some state affairs but he is banished from the palace and that too for 14 years. As his wife how can she live in the palace from where her husband is banished.
She is not the only daughter in law there n her husband is not the only son also. Her sister's are there in the palace n she doesn't know that Lakshman is going to accompany them. So why can't she decide to follow her husband.
Jaya I understood what you were trying to tell I am just playing a devil's advocate😆

I think Ramayan as an epic answers these questions beautifully. It's not just Sita who faces the dilemma but Urmila too. Ramayan shows us that both decisions were right in their own places. Sita's was right as well as Urmila s. One cannot argue whose love for their husband was greater.

Their argument is that they don't want to send bcos they can't bear it. Everyone is talking about themselves and their pain and rightly so. Kausalya doesn't want sita to go as she loves her bahu. And sita is not part of the promise.

But they should have based the argument on their love only. They brought Maryada and 'log Kay kahenge' etc. Some in this forum would say it's all well integrated into a plan. But we should also look at if its right or wrong. After all, this is about dharma. At every step.

And this is an Skr twist. Kausalya talking about this when Rama's decision is pending. Wrong in my pov.

in all this, Dasharatha's grief and his scenes are great to watch and are well written. Kausalya-sumitra scenes have been below par.

Isn't sita also talking about her own dharm n feelings? The dharm part cannot be questioned but she is also talking about her own feelings. Just like the mothers. Everybody is in same boat except Rama.(Sita to an extent). But makers have not been able to bring it out in case of the mothers.

😆

Originally posted by: gmgi

@Jaya
Ram also promised Sita that they will be together in practicing all the dharms. Here he gives more importance to Rajdharm more than putra dharm or his promises to Sita during Saath Phere. So like wise can't Sita give more importance to her patni dharm more than her duty as kulvadhu.
Her husband is not going for a war or for some state affairs but he is banished from the palace and that too for 14 years. As his wife how can she live in the palace from where her husband is banished.
She is not the only daughter in law there n her husband is not the only son also. Her sister's are there in the palace n she doesn't know that Lakshman is going to accompany them. So why can't she decide to follow her husband.
Jaya I understood what you were trying to tell I am just playing a devil's advocate😆

Geena thanks for understanding my points. 😊😊 but I didn't say anything about the vachan they shared during their marriage. There are some duties beyond the promise and one has to follow them. Yes she had all the rights to follow her Patni Dharma. But with that she has left behind her other Dharmas as a DIL, SIL, Sister & a Queen. Her husband was capable of taking good care of him even without her company but without her the others will be distraught. If we come across a person who is a minister and also a husband, we expect him to give his minister's duty and serve the people and not to his wife. The same is the case with a Police Officer, a military man etc. We expect them to adhere to their post and not to their family. Likewise, Sita had other responsibilities to fulfill other than her wifely duties. Anyways, lets not debate too much on what should have been done as it is past and she did follow her husband to forest 😆😆

See Sita's POV I will say as her husband is banished from kingdom. So as a wife as his ardhagnini it does not look right for her to stay in the palace. That banish part is important. Dasrath vachan is to send Ram for vanvass for 14 years. So in a palace or state where her husband has no place for the next 14 years how can a wife stay. Will we as wives stay in place where our husband is not allowed to enter. Answer is no. That's why Sita sticks more to Patni dharm.

Originally posted by: Justlikethat1

I think Ramayan as an epic answers these questions beautifully. It's not just Sita who faces the dilemma but Urmila too. Ramayan shows us that both decisions were right in their own places. Sita's was right as well as Urmila s. One cannot argue whose love for their husband was greater.

Both women took decisions based on what they considered was right and followed their heart. How can one find any fault in either decision?

Both these women stood by their husbands in their own ways. It's beautiful how the epic does not dictate one way but multiple ways to dharm.

I really love Swadharma in Ramayana. in kumbakarn and Vibeeshna scenario also, Swadharma beautifully written. In fact Ram's one quote in Ayodhya Kaand is my all time favorite.

"Mother, father and teacher are at our own disposal. By negelecting them as such, how can we worship god, who is not at our disposal, by various modes?"

Ram explanation of respecting others.