Lakshmila OS- Tum Sang judi hai saasein Piyaji

shruthiravi thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#1
Sulochana was standing with the aarti thali. Mandodari stood by her side. Indrajith was going to do the homa and then fight the most important battle of his life. The man on whom Indrajith has used the Brahmastra has survived. Sulochana's eyes didn't betray the fear she was feeling. She started doing the aarti.
Lakshman got ready. This was the do or die battle. The man who had defeated Indra had to be defeated today, if they were supposed to win the war. He went to Ram to take his blessings. As he was walking he remembered the aarti Urmila took. Yes she should have given him the Vijay thilak today. His Urmila. He closed his eyes.
Urmila woke up early, dressed and came to Mahadev mandir kept by Sumitra. Sumitra was already there. As she was about to take the aarti thali, Urmila asked " Mata can I do the aarti of Mahadev today"
Sumitra smiled at her DIL. Urmila never asked anything. She was always understanding others and selflessly doing her duty. And Sumitra knew why Urmila wanted Aarti thali.
" Putri do the aarti, Mahadev can never turn away from you. Let your wish be fulfilled". Urmila touched Sumitra's feet and Sumitra blessed her.
Sulochana finished the aarti. She gave the sword to her husband and then was trying to put Vijaythilak. Indrajith could see his wife's hands were shaking as she took the vermillion. He shouted
" Cowardly lady don't put Vijay thilak on me like this. I am better off without this. Before she could say something Indrajith turned and walked off leaving a teary eyed Sulochana who collapsed in Mandodari's arms.
Urmila finished doing the aarti of Mahadev. And she put a tilak on the Shiv Linga and prayed " Mahadev my heart tells today my husband is going to fight the battle of his life. As a wife I should have done his aarti and put the Vijay thilak. But unfortunately I cannot do it. So Mahadev I have done your aarti and put tilak on you. Take my wishes to my husband. Make him know Urmila is with him. Never away from him." She stood steady and prayed joined by both Sumitra and Sruthakirti.
Lakshman bowed in front of his brother " Bhaiyya bless me to come back victorious"
Ram lovingly put his hand on his brother's head. " Lakshman yes I am blessing you to come back victorious. But understand that real your protection is coming from Mata Sumitra's blessings and Urmila's love. Come back victorious my brother. I have to return the treasure Mata Sumitra and Urmila has entrusted me with " saying this Ram put Vijay thilak on Lakshman.
Lakshman smiled at his brother and once again remembered Urmila, her love and he felt strong inside as if Urmila was just with him, whispering to him to come back victorious.
Lakshman walked out followed by Hanuman, Vibhishan and vanar sena. The battle lines were drawn.
Even when present a man couldn't see his soul, and even while away another carried his soul with him. That was the difference between them and on the decisive battle it made all the difference.
Edited by shruthiravi - 9 years ago

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Shivam... thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#2
Extremely emotional OS shruti
In fact I would like to add that it was not just the brahmastra of Bhrahma , Indrajit actually fired all the trinity's weapons

Brahma's Brahmastra

Shiva's Pashupatastra

vishnu's Vaishnavastra


Only indrajit and Parshuram possessed all these weapons together , but none could touch Lakshman.
It was only after the failed outcome of firing these weapons that indrajit was convinced that he will now eventually be killed by Lakshman , and it indeed became true when Lakshmana slained him with Indrastra , , the prime weapon of the king of gods.

It is also said that Indrastra's power was increased several times when lakshman invoked a mighty prayer while firing it :

"If Rama, the son of King Dasharatha, is righteous, true to His promise and unequalled in prowess, let this arrow kill Indrajit."

Edited by shivam030291 - 9 years ago
shruthiravi thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#3
Thanks Shivam for this piece of info. I knew that Indrajith fires Nagastra but was not aware of Pasupathastra and Vaishnavastra.
DilMereSuntaNhi thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#4
Amazing one !
You line the characters pretty well 👏
I heard a lot about Indrajith and Lakshman's Yudh .
But never , I read something as beautiful as this .
Extremely beautiful . Keep writing .❤️

Trinaa thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#5
Amazing story👏
I liked the story and the concept was very unique and different
Do write some more
shruthiravi thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#6
@Sruthi Lakshman-Indrajith battle is a treat to the eyes. The fiery son of Ravan and the fiery prince of Ayodhya
Thanks Trina.
Meself thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#7
How do you come up with such amazing OS di? It is beautiful by any standards!
Priya. thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: shruthiravi

Sulochana was standing with the aarti thali. Mandodari stood by her side. Indrajith was going to do the homa and then fight the most important battle of his life. The man on whom Indrajith has used the Brahmastra has survived. Sulochana's eyes didn't betray the fear she was feeling. She started doing the aarti.

Lakshman got ready. This was the do or die battle. The man who had defeated Indra had to be defeated today, if they were supposed to win the war. He went to Ram to take his blessings. As he was walking he remembered the aarti Urmila took. Yes she should have given him the Vijay thilak today. His Urmila. He closed his eyes.
Urmila woke up early, dressed and came to Mahadev mandir kept by Sumitra. Sumitra was already there. As she was about to take the aarti thali, Urmila asked " Mata can I do the aarti of Mahadev today"
Sumitra smiled at her DIL. Urmila never asked anything. She was always understanding others and selflessly doing her duty. And Sumitra knew why Urmila wanted Aarti thali.
" Putri do the aarti, Mahadev can never turn away from you. Let your wish be fulfilled". Urmila touched Sumitra's feet and Sumitra blessed her.
Sulochana finished the aarti. She gave the sword to her husband and then was trying to put Vijaythilak. Indrajith could see his wife's hands were shaking as she took the vermillion. He shouted
" Cowardly lady don't put Vijay thilak on me like this. I am better off without this. Before she could say something Indrajith turned and walked off leaving a teary eyed Sulochana who collapsed in Mandodari's arms.
Urmila finished doing the aarti of Mahadev. And she put a tilak on the Shiv Linga and prayed " Mahadev my heart tells today my husband is going to fight the battle of his life. As a wife I should have done his aarti and put the Vijay thilak. But unfortunately I cannot do it. So Mahadev I have done your aarti and put tilak on you. Take my wishes to my husband. Make him know Urmila is with him. Never away from him." She stood steady and prayed joined by both Sumitra and Sruthakirti.
Lakshman bowed in front of his brother " Bhaiyya bless me to come back victorious"
Ram lovingly put his hand on his brother's head. " Lakshman yes I am blessing you to come back victorious. But understand that real your protection is coming from Mata Sumitra's blessings and Urmila's love. Come back victorious my brother. I have to return the treasure Mata Sumitra and Urmila has entrusted me with " saying this Ram put Vijay thilak on Lakshman.
Lakshman smiled at his brother and once again remembered Urmila, her love and he felt strong inside as if Urmila was just with him, whispering to him to come back victorious.
Lakshman walked out followed by Hanuman, Vibhishan and vanar sena. The battle lines were drawn.
Even when present a man couldn't see his soul, and even while away another carried his soul with him. That was the difference between them and on the decisive battle it made all the difference.


@Bold- i literally had tears in my eyes...

This is just so beautiful Sruthi.

@Red- how i wish Ram would say exactly those words to his lil bro in SKR.
LakshMila thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#9
The title is so beautiful itself!'Tum sang Judi hai saansein piyaji'Truly there is this another reason to love LakshMila.Urmila was an even greater pativratha,believe it or not.
Loved the line'carried his soul with himself.'
And as my mother says"Jis ghar me Lakshmi(lady) ka sammaan nahi hota,vahaan Lakshmi(prosperity) reh kar bhi nahi rehti"
Keep up the good work Shruthi di.
shruthiravi thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#10
@meself it depends on how much I connect with the characters. In Ramayan from the time I knew the story I have been deeply connected with Lakshman and Urmila. As I grew up and read various versions my respect for them grew. And yesterday's scene just blew me away. It brought out the essence of Lakshmila relation. After EHT forum, this is the forum I am writing OS and all. To be frank EHT also I wrote less as there were not many readers in the forum for romance. So I was not sure. DABH forum was the one where my ideas flowed like anything because the CVs didn't give any proper romance. And of course readers like you who appreciate my work make me write more 😃@Priya, yes I also wish Ram says some dialogue similar to that when Lakshman goes for decisive battle
@Mili the title is from the title track of DABH. For another OS I have used another line from the same title track 😃. Feels like some lines of the song suit Lakshmila so much. Thanks for liking. Yes if you don't respect the Lakshmi of the house one way or the other prosperity will walk out.
One more thing. I would like CVs to portray the character of Sulochana also. She is yet another prominent character, known for her chastity, but just like Urmila quite sidelined.

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