Your marriage based on Dharm, Karm, Karthavya and Prem- Vishwamitra

shruthiravi thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#1
I would say this was the most profound line today given in blessing to Ram by Vishwamitra. A marriage that will be based on the dharm and karma ie actions in the right direction. It will also show the path of duty and that of love.
Actually it is a message to every youngster who is going to set in their new life with the partner. Many youngsters believe that if they love, love is enough to sustain marriage. But what they dont understand is the meaning of love. Love doesnt mean spend all your time with each other, talk with each other and be possessive about each other.

Love has a broader meaning. It is the understanding of one's responsibilities and duties towards family, towards society. With the rules of society, you as a couple are going to start a new journey. A journey where the actions has to happen in the right direction. A journey where conflicts of relations happen and you have to understand what choice to make. You have to take care of conflicting duties and complete them. You need to know when conflicts come they need to resolved and you need all the love and patience in the world to move forward.

When a man and woman get married basic unit of a family is formed. And each individual brings to the relation some perspectives. Good has to be taken from both perspectives, bad discarded and in the mix of things a new path has to emerge. That is the duty of a married couple towards the society. Remove bad things, usher in good things.

But sadly in our society when a girl gets married she is stripped of her identity. Good or bad she has to follow whatever is at the boy's side. Whether she believes in it or not doesnt matter. And that's the reason our society is still stuck.

Because marriage is the biggest movement one culture to another. The bride brings with her wealth of knowledge from her maayka. She usher in changes in the family she goes. If she is well mannered with good values the family she goes also gets the benefit of her knowledge. Infact it is by transforming her husband's family positively a woman uphold her parents sanskaar.

But our society expects a woman to be a doormat to uphold parents sanskaar. If she speaks her POV didnt your parents teach you how to behave. Look at her. How can she wear those dresses after marriage. People will be waiting to nit pick a new DILs problems than try to see what is good in her.

It is exactly this attitude that has led to extremity on the other side where girls are not trusting their in laws and would exactly do as their parents say. Good or bad. Independance means not listening to in laws.

If only we knew the message and allow the mix of cultures than do power games, marriage will have its meaning back in the society.

Edited by shruthiravi - 9 years ago

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radianteyes. thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#2
Another enlightening post shruthi di
Its true that nowadays people think not following their in laws is the right way to change the social norms but that's completely wrong . we use the word counter culture to describe this thing but the fact is counter culture doesn't bring changes in society it brings conflicts , if we need to break the unrighteous barriers we need to revolutionize through our knowledge and love if I specifically refer to the intimate institution of marriage .
Others may need a revolution .

I loved your post di
I wanted to share that today my mythological and historic knowledge was recognized , my sociology teacher gave my example and told to understand the Indian context we need a knowledge in this and appreciated .
When your passion gets recognition it feels great .
jayvenk thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#3
The meaning of love for the present generation has been reduced to materialistic things. Gifts roses love notes. Physical proximity.
Expectations, promises, repeatedly saying the 3 words.
That is what love is reduced to.
Love means respect, faith ,letting go, no expectations,
Lovely post for the episode shruthi
TOTAL-ROMANTIC thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#4
Absolutely true, Shruthi, that moemnt when lakshman expresses his happiness & the way Ram smiles wide for his bro aww & The aashirvads he gets from everyone & TOP CLASS from Vishwamithra..wohaaa..you have explained it so well. God Bless you yaar;.. Awesome🤗
milinda.shreyz thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#5
Shruti ! I love your posts, I have always liked them. Your writing is always so iinsightful and thought provoking that I find myself falling short of words...like I have nothing more to add.
Today I think you surpassed yourself...ur thought on what a marriage should be and what young people,society have made of it, is so bang on.

Like all the time you look around you would see an invisible tug of war going between older and younger generations in the families. In laws cribbing about how much nuisance the new family member is, how she is unworthy of their affection and patience, and the young Dil boasting to her friends / family how she care two hoots about her inlaws. Thatz where it all goes. And funnily if you don't want to play that dirty game, u r a bore, backdated to your friends. This has to stop some where right ?
avalonhigh1234 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#6
When Vishwamitra was saying that line, I had an inkling that this would be the title of your post as its relevance is even more, in our present times. One of the oaths taken while walking around the ceremonial fire by the bride and groom in broader terms is 'ek dusre ke rishton ko saath lekar chalna'.Basically it means that both the bride and groom have to respect each other's family and care for them equally. Sadly somehow it got distorted and began to be confined to only the bride. If she speaks about changing something it may not go that well with her husband's family and she may be labelled as a 'modern girl'! One of my younger cousin had this problem till time and patience helped in every one finding the golden mean. Wouldn't it be a perfect world, where every couple along with their respective families succeed in finding the perfect balance in this complicated mashup...I really hope that this happens before my daughters' grow up and get married!😆
Coming to the episode I loved the scenes between the siblings on both sides, clean light hearted fun😊. Those trio of difficult men reminded of the stooges you are unfortunate to meet in every marriage😉.
Savita
shruthiravi thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#7
@charvi great to know that you have managed to get appreciation on your thinking. And I always believe if you present Indian mythology the right way it will always have appeal. We can keep them divine not by keeping them on pedestal, but trying to understand the wealth of knowledge that is in them and then spreading it.
@jayashree today we have days father's day, mother's day, valentine day, friendship day etc etc. In college I also used to celebrate friendship day and all. Post marriage when valentine day came I causally asked my husband a gift. And he told me, do you want to celebrate love only on feb 14th. It doesn't matter how we treat each other any other day. I would say from that time feb 14 lost its relevance, because when we try to respect and love each other everyday why we need a special day. It is not that we don't celebrate. We do celebrate each other's b'days and our wedding anniversary. But the days that marketing companies use for their benefit we have moved away from them.
@Hema Lakshman is the most open character of Ramayan. His emotions of both love and anger maybe at extremes, but his loyalty and sense of duty cannot be surpassed.
@milinda the problem is lack of accountability from man's side. Our patririachial society has put rights for man, duties for woman. A man who is supposed to support his new bride on the ways of his home, support her in building a relation with a member of the family who belongs to the same generation or a younger kid who will be her ally even if he is not there, it is not done. Men bring women home, have relation and kids and then think their responsibility is over. A man is always a bridge between a MIL and DIL. If he comes in between them, relations can run much smoother as he is important to both women 😃.
shruthiravi thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#8
@savitha the last scene had me in splits😆😆. Waiting for their comedy in the coming episodes. Those rules people who will find fault with each and every thing. Can imagine Shatanad's worry and Janak's face 😆😆
Ramyalaxmi thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#9
@Shruthi: Nice post. We used to say "if u want others to practise some rules, first u start it from ur house". Yes, to teach people about dharm in krishna avatar, lord vishnu first followed this hard dharm path in his life in Ram avatar. As per Vishwamitra, prem follows dharm, karm and karthavya. So for me, Ram always followed dharm before prem.


shruthiravi thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#10
@Ramya true love is the ultimate you can call it moksha or liberated kind of feeling. After going through so many conflicts, hardships in life Siya Ram belonged to each other.Not even for a split second Siya thought about another man, and Ram thought about another woman. If Sita took the test by fire, he also didn't bend to the rights given by society to a man for second marriage even in extreme circumstance. Instead to satisfy the rule he got a golden statue of her, not another woman. To belong to each other in such extreme circumstances without cribbing, complaining and comparing makes their marriage divine with life lessons.
And Dharma is the first in line ie right knowledge, Karma comes next or actions which are needed for sustenance signified by wealth, then to do your duty you need to power, strength so that you keep senses in your control or kama in your control and then true love will happen to you.
Edited by shruthiravi - 9 years ago

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