Ram - Raj Dharma

Ram and RajDharma

I'm new to this forum. These are some random musings based merely on my perception.

Like many of us , I grew up hearing Ramayana ,reading and watching it .I like all forms of Ramayana as every time it brings in a different perspective a different dimension to the story and something to learn about like here the shanta the sister of rama which I have never heard about.

In our custom, we do present the girl with a book of Ramayana after marriage to keep it as a remembrance of how a couple should be ...The love ,devotion and the absolute trust they have for each other should guide us through the trying times... yet a lingering doubt I had is about the most debated part of the Ramayana "the abondment of Sita ,that too when she was carrying a child" as its even unthinkable to me. The rama I so idolize ,who is the embodiment of, devotion,love ,honor and duty ...

So for long prefer to go by the version that the whole part was written later as an added perception .

The famous verse in kamba Ramayana putforth rama's love for sita

"Kanden seethaiyai" (Saw seetha) - Why is it significant ? because hanuman was last hope for rama.Rama's life hungs by a single hope that sita is alive somewhere . hanuman knowing the extent of their love was so afraid that if he first said the word sita would rama be able to even hear the next word so put it as saw her which would breathe life into him...

So this whole abandonment stands as a sore thumb in whole of this portrayal.

Even without this what confused me more is the saying that rama did this for the sake of rajdharma

Yes a good king should always take into consideration of his citizens feeling .but how could he endorse a thought that he himself feels as wrong and punish an innocent on behalf of it.

The one answer always given is rama is an ardent follower of rules . yes he is but not merely the rules he follow the right path - the path dictated by his conscience that's y he was ready to kill tataka or even vaali.. he changed the system and established ramarajya ... He never fear to question what is wrong

Then came the realization .. the answer for me is its not rajdharma that made rama do it but its pathidharma.

The answer lie s in not how could rama do this ? but in what rama could have done?

So I revisited the story and saw a happy prince and princess are coming home , the whole of ayodya lits light and welcomes them and rama was crowned as king... lets take either he dressed as a commoner to see how his citizens are or as some version says he hears there is a gossip and went to investigate though I lean on the former and was unfortunate enough to hear the argument of the dhobi.

At this stage what rama could have done?

He should have been deeply pained and shocked that there is such a doubt on his citizen's mind ..

Could he order and punish him ? and what would it really gain? As respect is to be earned and not could be ordered or brought upon by fear ..., if so it would never be real respect

How could he ask sita to be here still when her own selfrespect and dignity are in question.. How can he put his happiness above the dignity of her?

When hanuman request mata sita to come with him sita chose to remain there as her sorrow and freedom mean less to her,before her husband's honor and dignty. and how could rama's love could anywhere lesser than sita's for him?

He know his life would be nothing but dark ,when he separates from sita ,yet he did as he can't condemn her to a ill fate rather he would have her and his children far while doing his rajdharma - the dharma demands taking care of his people even when he is not complete ,when he lost all the happiness of his life as when we are parents if our child has a deep misconception or accusation we are pained but we never abandon our children but we would be deeply pained yet we would continue to do what's good for them

So rama and sita stand tall as an epitome of what love ,devotion,honour and duty is all about ..

And today when I give my son a book of Ramayana I could say without any lingering doubt that we bow before this great lord rama and mata sita to guide us through to give us strength to follow our conscience in the greatest time of crisis too... and when he grew up to say this is what love is and a couple love is not alone about the happiness you bring to each other but to always put the other half's respect and dignity above your own needs and wishes and that's y we give you Ramayana - journey of rama which would stand as a pillar of support during the most trying times...

Originally posted by: prav2

So rama and sita stand tall as an epitome of what love ,devotion,honour and duty is all about ..

And today when I give my son a book of Ramayana I could say without any lingering doubt that we bow before this great lord rama and mata sita to guide us through to give us strength to follow our conscience in the greatest time of crisis too... and when he grew up to say this is what love is and a couple love is not alone about the happiness you bring to each other but to always put the other half's respect and dignity above your own needs and wishes and that's y we give you Ramayana - journey of rama which would stand as a pillar of support during the most trying times...

Originally posted by: pree_28

In orange- This is for what Ram and Sita journey is all above 😊.. It gives us a lesson,
In bold- Ramayan give life teachings and will do so always and its up to us how we incorporate
good things in life and learn a lesson from our short comings.

You wrote this very well 😊

Originally posted by: adi2512

Beautifully written !

In fact, I was also one, who had this lingering question in my mind, reg the abandonment of Sita in her pregnant state.

None could answer this to my satisfaction., I do not blame any other, but only myself, for its a fact that I didn't delve deep into it, it had just been a superficial question ...may be if I had read a lot more perceptions, by great people, I would have got an answer.

Now, after beginning to watch the show, I feel, I can understand Rama a lot better than earlier.

Most of the credit goes to the track of Rama - Jabali , interspersed with Shanta - Dasharatha - Kausalya.

A lot of the story shown, would have been fictitious, I do not dis agree. But it gave a whole lot of learning into the psyche of Rama., why we should revere his acts and what we need to learn, for the actions and reactions of Dasharatha and Kausalya in that track, represented, nothing but we average humans.

Separation from Shanta, was taken by the King and the Queen in different perspectives, each of them not willing to see, the other's.

Extrapolating this to the future event of Rama 's abandonment of Sita , it was very apparent in all renditions, that he suffered as much taking that decision, but his soul mate was none other than Sita, who didn't blame him even for a fraction of a second, for she is completely in sync with Rama and so, did not disapprove the decision.

He followed Raja dharma to take the decision, abandoned the physical proximity with her, but was never apart in his mind and heart., and so was he for her. Distances did not matter to either of them.

Now the question remains for me - does he have to abandon her ? Was there no other option ?

Hope I will be able to get an answer for this too., in the due course.

Originally posted by: -Mano-

First of all

Welcome to the forum

And it's really great to see many Tamilians in this forum😃

thanks for the warm welcome..

U have pointed out one of the popular

and my fav part of Kamba Ramyanam

"Kanden seethaiyai"

The other most popular one being

"Annalum nokinan Avalum nokinal"

(He saw her and she too saw him)

very true ...

As far as "Kanden seethaiyai" (Saw Sita)is concerned

More than Hanuman understanding Ram's feelings

I see it as a conscious effort on Kambar's part

to explain"Surunga solli venga vaithal" (short and precise)

All of us needs to follow this in life

Many a time we would be at the place of Hanuman carrying some important info

For someone who is really anxious to know it

First convey the exact point precisely, then go into elaborate details

Which will save few anxious moments and fast heart beats for the receiver

Though not very relevant to the topic

I felt the need to say it😊

the topic as it's even a random musing . so nothing could be irrelevant here .. i wholeheartedly agree with you here ... it offers a lesson on effective communication... But here my intention was to put it as a reference to show how painful was the seperation of sita to rama and how he was hoping that she is well and alive to putforth a point that keeping her away would come at a great cost to him .. yet to carry on his duties towards his praja is something i find astounding and there by set an example...

And as far as Ram abandoning Sita is concerned

It was interesting to read yet another point of view

Though it contradicts to my view

If Sita without Ram's knowledge leaves the palace

just that her husband or herself may be

spared by the accusing eyes of Ayodhya then

its sacrifice(though it's absolutely unnecessary)

But Ram sending Sita to save her self respect and dignity

is not acceptable to me

Here it's not only Sita who suffers

When a queen faces such banishment it sets example

It effects all the women in the Kingdom

It sends the message that if the same scenario arises
in future for any other women

This could the solution

This is injustice for Sita and to the women of Ayodhya

Here Ram fails not only as a husband but as king too(according to me)

I understand your question and believe me this is how i feel if its really a banishment or abondment as we put it...

may be i didn't putforth correctly but the point i was trying to convey was

1) people say he did it to follow his rajdharama - the question i have is where could be dharma in this ? if ram is going to give in to every wishes and whims of people irrespective of right or wrong it would be great injustice ...ramrajya could be truly established only if justice is equally served to all... so i couldn't accept the argument that he did abandon sita just because he felt he has to concede with his people's mindset.. rama is continously shown to be a man who followed his conscious than what is wholly perceived as right and wrong by the society. and its not that i feel he couldn't err only for me it doesn't logically follow with what rama believes ,practices and does...so in my heart i believe if ever rama has done what is followed ,it could never be an abondment as shown or percieved and the only answer i could percieve with my limited ability is to uphold her selfrespect ... and its meerly a layman perception

i would be very happy if someone could give an alternative of what rama could have done and would accept is a learning

if its really a punishment then yes its , but the whole idea was what if its not an abondment or punishment as we generally percieve .. but rather a husband's effort to put his happiness and well being aside and let the love of his life seperate from him so she is not forced to live in a place where she is not respected like another famous tamil verse (" madhiyathar thalivasal mithikathathe - never enter a place your respect would be in question )and again this is merely my perception and a different perspective.. i do respect your perspective and others too... it was not an attempt to show ram is faultless merely an attempt to find from logical answer as to why it could have happened,

And u might ask me only why these few things about Ram is being discussed

Bcos this is the controversial part

while other things about Ram being a great son and human is well accepted one

If a paper is filled with different colors

it's less possibility that u focus on a single color

But on pure white paper u find one or two black spots then

Sure u notice it and notice it better than the white region

But that doesn't change the fact that rest of the paper was white

Ram is sure credited for all his good qualities,divine nature

That is why we pray to him

But things that are wrong/mistakes needs to be addressed too

and friend the whole point of the thread is to discuss this controversial part and offer a perspective and y would i ask u such a question? and neatly put very true ..on the whole Journey of rama's journey ,this stands as a sorethumb and that's y we r still debating on this single point...

PS:This is just my view

I am open for discussions

But don't bring religion into it and make it sensitive

I am not forcing my view on anyone and I expect the same in return

Thanks for such a detailed reply ... i would never bring religion into my discussion.. if it's somewhere it not intentional and it goes the same with me .. my view is only for open debate .. like we can't really force it on anyone .There was an interesting whatsapp circular a few months before which showed how color of a dress is being percieved differently by everyone.. the point is not all would come to the same conclusion on reading a situation and there lies the beauty isn't it.. else what will we have to discuss and learn or shape about.. a point or two some where brings in an inspiration or newer idea to all of us.. isn't .. very well written 👏👏 and it was a pleasure conversing with you... hopefully the serial might offer us a lot of avenues for positive discussions in future...