Posted:
Hello all,
My first post on this forum and a fairly long one, so my apologies for that at the outset. Also, I would like to clarify that I am not a fan of any of the actors, be it S1 or S2. In fact, I am not even familiar with any of their works, except for Shakti and Drashti.
Anyway, I am choosing to write about Mishti because she is the only character right now that has layers begging for interpretation. The rest are fairly uni-dimensional or straightforward.
I just have a few points to make here. The first being in response to Mishti being 'fake' or 'dishonest'. Well, the girl certainly isn't, simply because her motive here is not to deceive. If at all, she is desperately trying to mold herself to fit in with her 'perfect man's' image of a 'perfect partner'. Although we have no background on how her relationship with Veer came about, it is fairly obvious that she saw in him the 'perfect man', who would give her the stable family life she sought. As I see it, stability is what mattered more to Mishti rather than an all-consuming love. Veer made her feel safe, he did not unsettle her, he came from a stable family background, he was attractive enough and, in all probability, he pursued her and professed to love her. The sensible girl that she was, Mishti made the decision to love him with her head, because he ticked all the boxes on her list of a perfect life partner. She grew fond of him too, no reason for her not to, and so she accepted his proposal. She worked on matching his expectations and becoming a 'perfect wife' to him.
Now where did she get these ideas of what his expectations or those of his family were? In all fairness, she probably got some of them at least from him/ his family and despite their mild protestations, they clearly did not actively disabuse her of her notions. Let's talk of her engagement ring to begin with. The astute Veer understood that Mishti wanted to be the dutiful daughter-in-law and please his mother. He understood that her preference was something else. While he was thoughtful in his own way and wanted to indulge her by buying her what she wanted, he never thought to delve deeper even in private into why she wanted to please his mother so much that she chose to be silent on her preference. Why did she not feel confident enough in their relationship to be able to express herself freely and honestly? I am not saying her lack of confidence is his fault, but I am certainly saying that he is also at fault for not recognizing her insecurities or fears and putting them at rest. He read her expression but he failed to read beyond that, or maybe it suited him that she remained an 'adarsh bahu', so he could reward her in private for the same like he did by buying the ring of her choice. So he is fine with her wearing short clothes or downing tequila shots or dancing with strippers, but he does not question why such a seemingly modern young woman is behaving the way she is in front of his parents and making the choices she is making. Why is this smart young woman, who is running her own business, choosing to give it all up for marriage? While she is entitled to her choices, he is not making an effort to understand what compulsions are pushing her to make those choices.
When confronted with a version of Mishti that is not in sync with his image of her, Veer is fumbling. Instead of scratching the surface and looking underneath for the reasons why she is cracking, he is willing to accept superficial reasons and is coming up with quick-fix solutions. Instead of noticing the deepening fissures, he is trying to stick band-aid on superficial wounds i.e the long drive to calm her after the dumb charades fiasco and the decision to get her to hand over her projects to Pari to relieve her of work-stress.
Now, the question may arise as to why Veer should try so hard? Is he not asking her at every turn if she is fine with his choices? The answer is right there for him and the audience to see. Mishti will do nothing or say nothing contradictory as we saw in the ring episode. So why does he imagine that she will now tell him if his choices are to her liking?The girl has psyched herself into being what he wants or at least, what she thinks he wants. He himself has not tried hard enough to get her to let go of her reservations and be completely open and honest with him. To put it simply, despite everything else, Mishti does not trust him. She does not trust that he will accept her with all her flaws, all her insecurities and all her reservations, and so, her guard is always up around him. The fool that she is, the girl thinks she can go through the rest of her life like this, being what she thinks he wants her to be, rather than who she really is. She thinks this behavior of hers will guarantee her a stable and happy marriage. Veer is the embodiment of the perfect husband and she is desperate to do what it takes to hold on to him tight, be it the romantic dates or the protestations of love. On his part, Veer is satisfied with her superficial responses. It is unlikely that he is not aware of her parents and her upbringing. It is surprising then that he is looking deeper into her behavior and trying to understand her impulses and triggers better.
Mishti might well have got through life and even have had a happy and successful marriage with Veer, if Ruhaan had not crossed her path. Suddenly, there is this force that makes her feel extremely unsettled but is tempting in the possibilities it offers. She is desperate to reject this force, for it has the power to uproot her life and take away from her the stability and comfort of the solid relationship that she has worked on so assiduously. The more attracted to Ruhaan she feels, the harder she is going to cling to Veer. Because, in her mind, sticking to Veer will make her Mauli's daughter, while giving in to her overpowering attraction to Ruhaan will make her Kunal;s daughter. So she is going to do her best to be Mauli's daughter, even if the process may well destroy her and people around her.
Right now, she is cringing at Veer's touch, not because she finds it abhorrent so much but because, she is hating herself for her inability to feel more. To feel what Ruhaan's physical proximity evoked her in maybe, or maybe her inability to feel what she felt before. It is this discomfort that is manifesting itself as squirming rather than any revulsion for Veer. Sadly for Mishti, Veer's touch is no longer comforting but rather, it is destabilizing as it reminds her of her physical response to another man.
Is Mishti's behavior fair to Veer? The answer is obviously not. However, how do you expect a person who is unfair to her own self to be fair to others? She thinks she is doing the right thing. Her mind is so full of the phobias that are a result of her upbringing that she does not possess the clarity of thought that alone can result in logical decision making. She needs to make peace with her past before she can embrace her future with clarity. She needs to stop viewing Kunal's actions as a betrayed, hurt child and instead, approach the issue as an adult. She cannot punish herself for what she perceives are his wrongs. He lived his life and paid for his actions. She needs to move on and live her life, unburdening herself of the guilt she feels for being his daughter. She cannot atone for his actions with her choices. She needs to free herself of the past before she evaluates her options and makes the choices that are right for her.
Sadly, Mishti is going to do none of this. Things are going to get a lot worse before they can get better. Multiple lives are going to be messed with and hearts are going to get broken. Veer set himself up for this when he chose Mishti as also did Mishti when she chose Veer. Ruhaan is not the reason here, he is the catalyst. Whether he will turn into the all-abiding love that Mishti needs still remains to be seen.
For now, what is clear is that Veer and Mishti are horribly unsuited and ill-equipped to handle each other. It is a good thing that this happened now,. Imagine what would have happened if Ruhaan had happened to them five years down the line and, even worse, what if children were part of the mix yet again?
Veer. Mishti and Ruhaan are confused, conflicted young people that are grappling with the situations that life has thrown at them. Instead of judging them as good, bad or ugly, we would be best off exercising patience and restraint and displaying some empathy for them as they muddle their way through the intricate web that they find themselves trapped in.
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
