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Good morning girls and boys !!!
Hope everybody is good. A few episodes ago, while Veer is trying to hug her, she is recoiling. I was wondering why she had done that. This is the best way I could explain to myself. Again, no expert in psychology, just some observations only, so please take this with a pinch of salt or TOTALLY IGNOREđ. I won't take it personallyđ So, I will try:
The situation is that, Veer did his hungama, dragged the issue best known to him for a couple of days, then comes and tries to fix Mishti's life, and hugs her. Cut and dry from his side,he is the person wronged, he got mad, but being ever understanding Veer, he found it in his heart to forgive Mishti, he is the bigger person in the relationship to come and FIX Mishti's life despite her behaving recklessly with him, or leaving angrily from his office ( his words, not mine )and so he deserves a hug and he will take it. His understanding of why she behaved as such is because she was overworked ( this is either his perception or somebody else's idea ) Too simple, right?
Now, let us look at it from Mishti's side. How does she look at this issue? She has many things going in her mind at this time. 1. She was ruthless, heartless with Ruhaan and misbehaved with him out of no fault of his, so feels very guilty. 2. She had ANGERED Veer by going against his orders. 3. Ansh is going down the wrong path.4. Dhadkane becoming fast with Ruhaan, and why her head is not taking control, but I don't think this is affecting her as much now. 5. This is against a back drop of her all pervading, life consuming fear of FAILING like her bio-papa, who failed his wife, child, parents. The #5 simply consumes her, whatever she does, whatever she thinks, wherever she goes. She unfortunately attributes this to every damn thing in her life, be it a game, interaction with people, everyday emotions, actions, she weighs herself against this. This is a horrible situation to be in, guysđ¤˘, to always second guess yourself. NOTHING is worse than this. Nowhere in here, the concept of "overworked" factors in her conscience. So, right there, there is a big disconnect between her and her fianceeđđź So, why doesn't she speak up ? Well, as we discussed this to death yesterday, she just had to go through hell and highwater with a mammoth tantrum from the gem, Veer. Again, please look at it from her fear of failing relationships and commitments.
So, in marches Veer, who tries to " fix" her life to his likingđđź or what he thought was right. Let me give you an example putting myself in this place. Let us say, I complain to husband that I am overwhelmed with child responsibilities, work, home chores etc. etc. etc..., I am just verbalizing and airing out my gripes, so I hear what is bothering me, so me and my subconscious mind can start working on amicable solutions. NOT for him to call my secy and ask to clear my calendar or hire a nanny. What if I want HIM to take some more child related responsibilities and my work is not a problem for me but household chores are the problem? He doesn't understand my priorities, which honestly speaking, I don't expect him to. That is why, I expect him to ask me HOW he can help. So, if he didn't ask me any of this and did the above mentioned stuff, and comes to give me a hug as he is feeling smug about himself, I would chew his head off and ask him to stay away from me. This doesn't mean I am attracted to somebody else, and that is why I am asking to stay away. I AM HOPPING MAD AT HIM. But, because I am aggressive and it it my husband, I can do this. But Mishti is passive aggressive, she second guesses herself constantly, she doesn't feel that she is understood or heard by Veer, why can't she feel the same way as I feel about physical proximity? But because she is about to get married, she is unfortunately bound by certain expectations, (unlike me who had been there and done that ) and therefore can't blurt out STAY AWAY to him. Because, we know what follows after that... Veer on a business trip to SwitzerlandđĄ, where he is busy 25-26hrs a day, where there will be no phone, internet connection, and she gets to rot awayđĄin guilt...till he obliges the next timeđđ¤˘So she feels uncomfortable, and she shows ( of course dramatically, so we all understand). This is my explanation guys.
I didn't feel that she was recoiling from his touch because she felt that " woh kissi aur ki ho chuki hain" and therefore can't tolerate gem Veer's touch. She hasn't even been thinking about wanting to be in close proximity with Ruhaan, nor is she enjoying those encounters. She is in fact deathly afraid again because of her # 5. So far, I didn't feel that there is actual attraction ( physical ) from both the sides. After the orphanage story of Ruhaan, even her monologue is about how she understands the loneliness. I had to disclose, I totally scoffed at Ruhaan being an orphan. What a cheesy story? Not to digress, she had been emotionally, psychologically lonely her entire life, even though in a family, she is hounded by her issues of abandonment, which is where she can connect strongly with Ruhaan. An orphan with abandonment, is something she can understand very well. Of course, Ruhaan turned it around to embrace everybody. But Mishti recoiled into her shellđ of pervading loneliness and feeds into her fears by her constant introspection. Well, no two people are alike as we can see around us.
So, why is Ruhaan not getting himself out of the house, away from Mishti? His background makes sense here. Him, being an orphan, he really has to put in an extra effort for anyone to accept him into their family. He puts his all out there. He has this one girl he cherishes deeply, though can't be his, he wishes to be close to her, share her pain or make it go away, be there for her whether she is his or not, but he guards this secret with his life. He had not given an inkling to anybody, nor did he act in such a way at anytime, whether trying to take advantage. Or physically provoke her. Even yesterday's balm application or pulling that ankle straight ( please don't try this guys, I cringed so hard at that crack we heard ), it was about how to make that pain go away or cinematically put, how do I "take her pain" I wish there is such a thing, so all women can give their labor pain to their partners Again, digressing ... Following that thought process, so now it makes sense as to why he is keeping that lipstick smeared tissue or whatever else, as an orphan, he has NOTHING to fall back on, he is making his own memories in a very unobtrusive way. That is his deepest secret which he holds very close to his heart, he is not hurting anyone by doing this. So far, I don't see anything wrong in what he is doing.
Anyway, I will stop there. My brain is totally shot. I hope I made some sense to some of you. For others, I might sound totally loonyđ˛ But, these are just my observations/opinions, interpretation. I don't mind if there are others who want to weigh in with different perceptions.
Have a great day !đ
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