Chapter IV
She was meticulous. That was all Shaurya could think as he paced in his room, flipping through the many pages she handed off to him. He heard she was good. Now he was witnessing it first hand. And despite everything, seeing her brilliance still made his heart swell with pride. But the years of mounting bitterness counteracted that momentary satisfaction. Not because he didn’t want her to be successful. No, that was all he ever wanted for her. But he wouldn’t be able to see what he really wanted—what that was, he himself didn't know. So, he grasped for the next best thing. Finding something to nitpick about her proposal until he could figure out what he actually wanted from her.
Throwing the file onto his bed, Shaurya fell into an armchair. Head buried in his hands, he desperately tried to push the negativity from his mind. If he needlessly found fault with the things she did, how would this project ever move forward? He confidently declared to her that he would stay on the initiative because her arrogance bothered him but now that he had, would he be able to follow through? Would he be able to put his personal differences with her aside to focus on the good of the project? Shaan's concerned voice interrupted his troubled thoughts.
“Shaurya? I heard you left early today and you didn’t attend any of your meetings.” It was the first time in years that he had seen Shaurya not work overtime. "Are you okay?"
“Yeah, I just had a bit of a headache, so I came back,” Shaurya muttered, running his hand through his hair to push the pesky thoughts of Anokhi out of his mind. Shaan briefly glanced at the bed behind his son, noting the way the papers were scattered messily across the duvet. His frustration was apparent in his condition, even if he refused to express it. “Did you want something?” Shaurya asked, bringing his father’s wandering eye back to him.
“No, I just came to check on you. How’s your headache?” Since a fate akin to his had befallen his son, Shaan became far more attentive. Shaurya couldn’t help but read more into the act because the father who had neglected him for over 25 years of his life couldn’t change overnight. At times Shaurya wondered if it was because Shaan saw himself reflected in his son or if it was because his father suddenly pitied him. Neither of which he wanted. So, his concern was often unwelcome. “It’s fine. I’ll just sleep it off,” he responded to gently nudge Shaan to leave him alone.
“Okay,” Shaan wondered if he should bring up what he had come to say in the first place. Knowing that Shaurya would be even more disturbed if he didn’t tell him, Shaan stopped at the door. “One other thing Shaurya. The staff organized a welcome lunch for Anokhi tomorrow and they invited everyone to come. They asked me to see if you’d be willing to say a few words since you were her advisor.” He looked over his shoulder, figuring that he wouldn’t have an answer. “I’m only telling you so you aren’t blindsided tomorrow, in case some of the other staff members bring it up. Good night.”
Shaurya was left wondering what words he could say about the woman who the world knew as his advisee and he knew as much more. What would he say to welcome her when he wished she never came back?
❈~❈~❈~❈~❈
Anokhi had insisted that they don’t bother to welcome her. After all, it wasn’t like this was her first time in SIAC nor would she be there for long. But she caught wind of the party the other staff members were throwing and decided to play along for their sake. With a big smile she feigned surprise when she got to the break room to find snacks and a banner that read “Welcome Anokhi Bhalla” hanging on the wall. The room buzzed with excitement though she couldn’t help but notice a few of the other professors looking at the door periodically.
She was just about to thank everyone and let them know they were free to go about their business when Shaurya walked into the room, holding a bouquet of flowers. The very people who had been shifting nervously seemed to let out a sigh of relief in seeing him. “Sorry I’m late,” he said with forced politeness, “I hope I haven’t missed all the fun.”
“No, no sir. You’re just in time. We were just going to ask you to say a few words since Ms. Bhalla was your mentee.” He nodded, grateful that his dad had informed him of this the night before. Otherwise, he likely wouldn’t have been able to control his expression.
Anokhi on the other hand was surprised that he even showed up in the first place. After all, she doubted that he wanted to be welcoming her anywhere near his university. Keeping her expression neutral, she watched as he effortlessly stalled. Even if no one else could pick up on it, Anokhi knew him well enough to know when he was doing something he didn’t want to do. And right now, his body language screamed of reluctance.
“Well as you all know, there’s no greater honor for a teacher than when their students thrive. And, having had the good fortune to teach Ms. Bhalla when she was at SIAC, I am very proud to say I had a student like her." His speech sounded generic and disingenuous to her ear, something he'd say about any student. "She was a bright and determined woman when she was here and her record speaks for itself as to what she’s accomplished since. She’s truly reached remarkable heights and I can't imagine anyone is happier than I am to see how much she has achieved." Now he was just lying and Anokhi closely monitored her expression so it wouldn't betray her scorn.
"And I’m sure that in no time at all," his eyes flashed to her as he continued, "she’ll leave this mentor behind and attain even more success.” Eyes lingering on her for a second longer, he looked away with a hollow laugh that, to the rest of the room, was sincere. Anokhi recognized the praise for what it was—a double-edged sword. If she used her presentation to throw a jab his way, Shaurya used his welcome speech to return the favor. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from scowling, forcing a grateful smile on her features when he called for her to come.
“It is my great pleasure to be able to work with her now as our new Program Director. We are all very excited to have you Ms. Bhalla and on behalf of the faculty, staff, and all of SIAC, welcome back.” He wore a plastic smile that could fool everyone but her as he extended the bouquet of colorful flowers towards her. And because she wasn’t a master of deception like he was, she doubted her smile looked nearly as heartfelt as his did.
She accepted the bouquet and his hand immediately dropped the second hers wrapped around the stalk. Leading a round of applause, he moved out of the spotlight. She noticed him slinking out of the room when the attention was on her. After a few more pleasantries, she excused herself as well.
Heading up to her cabin, she was surprised to find Shaurya waiting outside her door. Approaching him cautiously, she cleared her throat to announce her presence. He was blocking her path to get into her office. Throwing a lazy glance at her, he instead began studying the bouquet in her hands. There weren’t any particular thoughts running through his mind, but reality was slowly setting in. The reality that she was here to stay. Anokhi wasn’t sure what to make of his gaze on her, nor did he seem to be at all self-conscious at the fact that he was studying her. She cleared her throat again, louder this time.
“You’re blocking my door,” she complained, motioning for him to move. But he remained in place. Following his gaze, Anokhi wondered what was wrong with him. Did he want her to return the flowers? Was he here to clarify that he hadn’t given them to her of his own volition?
“Are you going to move? I need to get to my office.” She pointed out the obvious, not really understanding what he was thinking, and frankly, not really caring.
“And what if I don’t? What then?” It sounded like a challenge to her and she could only interpret it as him trying to pick a fight. She knew that when he began talking in vague terms, something else was on his mind. He was building up to something and he expected her to play along. Unfortunately, Anokhi didn’t have the time or patience for his theatrics.
“Are you just here to bother me or did you have some work?” She asked, choosing not to take the bait. Usually, his verbal jabs pricked her sensibilities and she’d spiral into a heated exchange with him. But no more. She was done giving him more attention than he merited. Shaurya continued to just observe her, trying to decide whether he would be able to work with this version of the woman or not. Seeing him not moving, she tried to walk around him, but he adjusted his position such that he was directly leaning against her door.
“Shaurya, are you kidding me?” Despite her best efforts, her frustration at his immature behavior got the better of her. He interrupted her lashing out with a statement related to work, much to her annoyance.
“Your cost projections and fundraising timelines are too aggressive” He stated calmly, bringing her attention to the file that he had in his hand. After his initial outburst, Shaurya had managed to view the proposal with an unbiased eye the night before. He presented his assessment, untainted by his desire to find fault with her.
“If you want this program to start this year and start right, I have to be aggressive.” She countered, confident in the numbers and times she gave him.
“The Board has never approved a grant like this for any programs in the past. Nor have donors ever given this much in the first year. It should start small and once the foundation has been established, it can be scaled.” Shaurya knew that while the Trustees were on board, they would still be apprehensive about reallocating any resources. And regardless of what she thought, he suspected that they would need to dip into the college’s endowment.
“What’s the point of starting small when I know that we can launch a full-fledged program?” She demanded, refusing to relent on this. Somehow this moment felt like it would define their entire working relationship. If she backed down now, she’d have to back down indefinitely.
“You’re trying to do too much too quickly,” he warned. “If this fails, you’ll just move on to your next program. I’ll be the one left behind to sift through the rubble and build it up again.” The words that had been professional only a second ago were colored personal. Maybe she was being hypersensitive to everything that he said, but she felt she understood Shaurya well enough to know when he was taunting her indirectly. And this most definitely blurred that line.
“I know what I’m doing,” she began firmly, eyes burning with the very frustration she said she wouldn’t feel. “This program will not fail nor will there be rubble to sift through. Besides, I don’t leave others to clean up my mess.” Shaurya didn’t hide his scoff at her brazen lie. He no longer bothered to conceal the very personal nature of his comments. He was quickly appreciating the difficulty of maintaining a purely professional relationship with her. Because her mere presence was a harsh reminder of issues he kept suppressed for years.
“Overconfidence is a dangerous slope, Ms. Bhalla. And it seems like you’re slipping.” Anokhi was hardly surprised that he would take her mere self-assurance as overconfidence. After all, any woman who didn’t immediately accept his word as gospel would be appear arrogant to his eyes.
Anokhi reached her own breaking point with that so, not thinking too much, she reached beside him and turned the handle to her cabin. The flowers in her hand and the file in his both fell to the ground as the door he was leaning on suddenly moved and he stumbled. Before he could grab anything for support, Anokhi’s hand already circled his arm to keep him from falling back. He looked at her with a mix of anger and confusion, trying to figure out if it was truly unintentional or if she was trying to make a point.
“Sorry,” she offered for her haste, removing her hand once he was stabilized. Bending down, she picked up both the flowers and the file before standing back up and continuing.
“But I can handle myself and this project. You should worry about yourself. Because right now, it looks like you’re sabotaging this initiative with your need to prove me wrong and yourself right.” Shaurya’s eyes narrowed but Anokhi wasn’t yet done. He had managed to get under her skin and now, she was going off. She roughly placed the bouquet of flowers in his hand. The ones that he had been eyeing from the start.
“And here, I don’t need the flowers. Especially those that are insincere.” With that final word, she brushed past him and into her office. He lingered for only a second longer before going to his own office. Both doors simultaneously slammed shut. Inside the privacy of his cabin, Shaurya’s seethed as his grip on the bouquet tightened. A thorn from the flowers pierced his skin before he flung them across the room into the dustbin. Yes, there was no way that he would be able to work with this woman.
Anokhi, similarly agitated, flipped through the file that he marked up, scoffing at each place that he thought needed revision. Tossing the file onto the coffee table that sat near the door, she collapsed into the sofa, trying to calm her growing irritation. She had expected him to not acknowledge her capabilities, but she would not allow him to belittle her every day. Casting a glance over to her desk, she knew she’d have to start working immediately to prevent his predictions from becoming reality. But there, sitting on her desk, she found a unfamiliar box wrapped beautifully.
She walked to her desk curiously, carefully opened the lid. There was no added note and yet as soon as she saw the contents, she knew who the sender was. She rubbed her brow, feeling a sense of defeated regret wash over her.
“I have to go back earlier today,” she shared, disappointment apparent on her tone as she played with the strap of her bag.
“Why?” Shaurya’s question was unsurprising since she knew he wouldn’t like hearing it. It was already so difficult for them to find time to meet, despite being in the same college.
“One, because unlike you Mr. Professor, I still have assignments to complete.” She was chiding because of course he wouldn’t remember what it was like to be a student. Yes she was his girlfriend, but she was a student first and foremost, right?
“So? Do them. When have I ever stopped you from studying?” He countered, not quite seeing the issue. In fact, it would be better. He could help if something didn’t make sense. It felt like a win-win.
“True, but you also don’t let me study in peace. You either nitpick or distract. Besides, how much can I get done in this cramped car or in your cabin where anyone can walk in at any time? So that’s the first reason,” He was going to interject to respond to the nitpicking commenting, but he figured this was an argument they could have another time. “Whatever. And the second?”
“Aastha ma’am. I haven't seen her in a long time and I think she's worried. She asked me to come for dinner and I think it'll be good for her, and me, if I pay her a visit.” Outside of the social call, Anokhi did have something important she wished to discuss with her mentor anyways. She didn't bother asking him to join, knowing he wouldn't want to. Shaurya was now used to the constant mention of his mother in any conversation they had. They didn’t necessarily center around his equation with her as much, but Anokhi's relationship with Aastha didn’t change, so of course she’d be concerned.
“So, because of your assignments and your Aastha ma’am, you’re leaving early. Despite knowing that during the day, I already don’t see you, now you want me to split even the little time I do get? Great.” He was sulking again and Anokhi really wondered where he found the energy to switch between hot and cold so frequently.
“Obviously I don’t want to, but I have to.” She leaned forward to try and catch his eye, but he was avoiding looking at her completely. “Is this what you want to do right now? You want to fight over this?” It wasn’t like she was thrilled about this either, but that was just the way things were. They needed to ration their time because they both had other obligations. “Instead of just telling me what you’ve been hiding all night?” She tossed out the bait, smiling to herself when she could tell he was going to bite.
“Hiding? What do you mean?” He played innocent and Anokhi could only tut her tongue.
“You’re terrible with surprises. Who hides a gift in the backseat?” Reaching her arm around, she pulled out the flowers that were hidden in the pocket behind her seat. “These are for me, right?” Shaurya looked at the bouquet and his slight annoyance at their date being cut short influence his response.
“No, they’re for my other girlfriend. The one that doesn’t leave me for work or other people. I’m going to give them to her after I drop you off.” His sarcasm was met with a light punch to the shoulder. “When you know the answer, why are you asking? Besides, the surprise is ruined anyways. So, let’s go, I’ll just drop you off.”
“No, no, wait!” She quickly grabbed the keys from the ignition, not wanting him to drive off just yet. “Let’s pretend I didn’t see. Here,” she put the flowers back where they had been. “Okay, there, I didn’t see them. What were you going to do?” She faced forward, acting as though she had absolutely no idea that the flowers were there. “What do you mean what was I going to do? I was going to give them to you.”
She complained with her expression at the obvious statement. “I know that! But how? Give them to me and show me.” Anokhi requested with a slight excitement in her voice, curious to see what he had planned before she unceremoniously announced that she knew he had flowers. She really was an idiot sometimes! She shouldn’t have revealed that she saw them.
“This is not how romance works Anokhi. It has to be organic. In the moment. That moment is gone now.” Shaurya shook his head at her ignorance. First, she spoiled the surprise herself and then complained?
“No, it’ll be organic. Watch, I’ll start talking again and then you do whatever you were planning. Okay? Here I go. I’m going to start. So anyways, today,” he let her keep going, watching the way she would occasionally peek from the corner of her eye to see if he was going to give her the flowers or not. Rather than moving, Shaurya just sat back and enjoyed her lovable impatience as she ran out of nonsense to talk about. He witnessed her go from apologetic to annoyed very quickly.
“Are you going to…” At the peak of her frustration, he leaned over to capture her lips with his, cutting off whatever complaints she had for him. Her mind went blank as she reciprocated the spontaneous display of affection. He reached behind her to grab the flowers and pulled away sooner than she would have liked, placing the bouquet in her lap.
“For you.” Short and sweet, no nonsense. Anokhi looked at the flowers with a renewed appreciation. He was right. Romance was about the moment. It was only then she noted that the flowers were red roses. Laughing softly she gently ran her fingers across the petals. “Because it’s Rose Day?”
Shaurya nodded, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. She could tell that he didn’t necessarily get the custom, and truth be told, she didn’t either. But she liked to pull his leg and a thought occured to her in the moment.
“By the way," she stole a look at him mischievously while studying the flowers. "Did you have all this back in your day?” Anokhi did her best to sound serious, choosing a subject she knew was touchy for him.
“Excuse me? What do you mean back in my day?” She worked extremely hard to suppress her laughter at the horrified expression he gave her at the implication. Yes, she had hit the right nerve.
“I mean back when you were in college. Let’s see, when you were in college, I would have been,” Shaurya immediately cut her off, not in the mood to talk about this topic at all. He would never be in the mood to address this. In fact he hated it whenever she brought it up.
“Don’t you have assignments and Aastha ma’am to get to? Give me the keys, I’ll drop you now.” He reached over to take them from her and Anokhi laughed, holding them farther away from him, trying to calm her Hulk down.
“Relax, I’m joking.” She said with a playful grin, pleased that she was able to get back at him for even suggesting another girlfriend. “And thank you for the roses.” She reached into the bouquet and took one out, offering it to him. “Happy Rose Day.” He rolled his eyes with amusement before cracking a smile, accepting the gesture. She also gave him back his keys and he began to drive her back.
The silence was comfortable between them for a while, only broken by a random thought that occurred to her as she observed the bouquet. “You know, why do people give flowers?”
Shaurya, not quite sure what to make of the sudden statement, looked at her with confusion. “I don't know. Because they’re nice to look at?”
“I guess, but they also wilt in a few days and then we just have to throw them out.” It was an absentminded musing, a reflection on the Rose Day she had seen, when the flowers either ended up in the garbage or the ground the next day.
“Did you not want the flowers?” He asked, not sure where this stream of consciousness dialogue was going.
“No, of course I do. I’m just saying that if people wanted to give a gift, it should be something that lasts right? Like…” she racked her brain to come up with something that would make for a suitable gift that was still in the same realm as flowers. “A cactus! You know they’re resilient and long lasting. They also bloom.” She looked at him with obvious excitement at her suggestion and he returned with a look of amazement.
“Wow Anokhi,” he started with a shake of his head, “you’re truly one of a kind, you know that? You don’t know the first thing about romance. You want me to give you a plant full of thorns? That’s your idea of a gift?” Though she could tell he was amused by the suggestion, Anokhi nodded, standing by her justification. “It’s resilient. Permanent. I won’t have to toss it after a few days.” It would serve as a reminder of the person forever. And when she got like this, all he could do was acquiesce.
“Okay madam, you know what? Next time, I’ll be sure to get you a cactus.” He responded with a chuckle, still observing her like she was the craziest woman in the world.
With a sharp inhale, Anokhi looked at where she pricked her finger on the sharp edges of the cactus. Easing the pain with the warmth of her mouth, she contemplated the words she had thrown at him and the meaning of this gesture. Though she could not decipher what he meant to convey by leaving this on her desk, she wondered if perhaps she was the one letting her emotions to interfere with work. He had clearly moved on, enough to casually give her a gift that was sure to trigger a memory of their past. Maybe she was the only one still clinging to the bitterness of the separation. Maybe she was sabotaging the program because of her need to prove herself right and him wrong.
With a heavy sigh, this gift went into the same drawer as Aastha’s. She was nowhere near ready to actually feature it on her desk and see it every day. But even if she couldn’t yet bury her personal grievances, Anokhi could separate them from her working relationship with Shaurya. Which was why, with a less critical eye, she gathered the papers from her report and seriously considered the recommendations he made.
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A/N: That's the chapter! So sorry it took me a while to get this update! I've been trying to get back into a normal working schedule but I'll try and get chapters out as quickly as I can. I hope you enjoyed the little glimpse into their past and their struggle to put their personal differences aside to work together. As I mentioned, this is going to be a bit of a slow burn story so thank you for bearing with me and giving me so much love!! Any and all feedback is much appreciated ❤️🤗
Music Corner
Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee
Advocate Anjali Awasthi
