Chapter III
“Yes Noor, the Trustees approved the project today. Anokhi will be our new Program Director.” Shaan’s excitement was greater than Aastha’s.
“I’m happy for her but are you sure that this is the right thing to do Shaan?” Aastha questioned, unsure how she felt about her student being back at SIAC. In this bitter separation between her son and the girl she considered no less than her daughter, Aastha could never pick a side. They were both dear to her and she worried that her husband’s actions would hurt both of them.
“They need it. The way they act around each other, it’s no different than…” before he could finish his thought, Devi’s voice cut him off.
“Shaan,” Devi called, mind whirling with the possibilities of all the things that could go wrong. “Shaan,” entering his room, Devi found him sitting by his desk, talking on the phone as though he hadn’t just sent a storm through their life. Shaan of course had been expecting her to come as soon as she heard from the Trustees who the new Program Director would be, so he turned to face her with no surprise, grateful that she didn’t seem to hear his previous words.
“We’ll talk when I come again on the weekend. Good night.” He hung up and gave his attention to Devi who raised a brow.
“Oh, so the two of you planned this. She sent her student to mess with Shaurya’s life the first time and now you brought her back to do that again?” Shaan looked away in irritation at the outlandish allegation. In Devi’s eyes, it seemed that Aastha and Anokhi would never be perceived as good. And so long as he supported them, he wouldn’t be either. Her words were the same as those that Shaurya had thrown at him in his cabin. That he always supported everyone but him. And he was staring at the woman who likely planted such thoughts in his mind.
“Shaan, how could you bring that Anokhi back into SIAC and into Shaurya’s life?” She demanded, clearly disturbed by the news. “Do you not remember how she humiliated him? How devastated Shaurya was when she left? And now, you hired her? What kind of father are you Shaan, who doesn’t see his son’s pain?” She threw all the worst that she could and Shaan stood slowly to face Devi.
“Bhabhi, talking about people’s pain doesn’t suit you. Since when have you cared about Shaurya’s pain?” His words never went so far as to cross the limits imposed by the relationship they shared. Shaan hadn’t been able to do anything for his son growing up and for the past five years, he watched Shaurya sink deeper and deeper into an emptiness.
“What are you implying Shaan? If not me, who cares about Shaurya? If you’re trying to say something, just say it.” She challenged, knowing that no one would be able to contest that she did care for Shaurya. After all, no one understood him like her. She knew what was best for him. She always had. And she ensured he only ever had the best, without leaving chances for people to point fingers. Shaan wouldn’t be able to go so far as to make the accusation she knew he harbored.
“I’m saying that you know Shaurya better than anyone of us, right? You’ve said yourself that he’s nothing like me, he’s not so weak to lose himself over a woman. So, you should have nothing to worry about. Have some faith in your upbringing bhabhi. If you know Shaurya as well as you think you do, then he should have no problem with Anokhi working at SIAC.” They both knew how true that was, but neither would come right out and admit that Anokhi’s presence would bother Shaurya. Because while Shaan’s intentions were to mend, Devi’s were to keep broken.
“You shouldn’t have done this Shaan.” She said with the slightest threat coloring her tone. He could not know what was going on in her mind but Shaan knew that this perhaps would be one of the only things he could do to save his son. To make up for all the years he hadn’t been able support him in any way. Devi left in agitation, images of reconciliation and abandonment flashing before her eyes. No, she couldn’t let this happen. She needed to find a way to make sure that no matter how long Anokhi was here to stay, there would be no chance of the two of them getting back together.
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Shaurya wasn’t in the mood to go home early that night. He would face all sorts of indirect inquiries from Devi who would be trying to figure out if he was upset. Shaan would most certainly ask him for his decision since his Monday deadline was quickly expiring. As soon as he heard the project was a go, Shaurya knew that he had to make up his mind. Was he going to stay or was he going to leave? Would he be involved with this project? Though it was his proposal, was he going to be okay working with Anokhi on this? Given her demeanor, he knew that she would be perfectly fine. She carried herself as though nothing in the world mattered to her. But would he be able to keep the same pretense up around her?
Shaurya leaned back in his car with his eyes closed, wondering why this girl always came into his life to ruin things. Many times he felt life would have been better if their paths had never crossed to begin with. Regardless of what his life looked like before Anokhi, he could say with confidence that he liked that better than whatever he was living now. The spiteful side of him refused to give her the satisfaction of chasing him away from his own institute. But the weaker side of him wanted to escape. In his frustration at his own confusion and fragility, Shaurya hit the dashboard with the heel of his palm. What was wrong with him? Why, after his many years, did he let her affect him? Unintentionally, the radio turned on and his mind flooded with memories at the sorrowful melody. Moments that they had spent together, the good, the bad, and the ugly. He was enraptured by the tune for a second before he harshly turned it off. Shaurya was not like his father, nor would he ever be. He refused to sit around crying to sad songs over a woman who left. The past was best left in the past.
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“Yes di, I’ll be here at least through the summer. I promise,” with her phone pressed between her shoulder and her ear, Anokhi stirred the mixed veggies that would have to suffice for dinner for the next week.
“Nikki you’re definitely staying right? Tell me now if not and I’ll cancel my trip and come see you tomorrow. Don’t lie. If you’re going to fly off somewhere else tell me. I missed you last time you were in town as well and I don’t know when you’ll be back if you leave this time.” Anokhi chuckled and reassured her sister that she wasn’t going anywhere. Shaan had let her know that the Trustees approved a trial run of the project. Which meant the next few months would be hectic, but she would be based in this city.
“Okay then I’ll come see you after the holiday. We’ve had this planned for months. Otherwise, you know right that I’d come straight to you.” They caught up on how the presentation went, about how Babli’s son was doing. She missed these conversations but between her schedules and her sister’s busy life, it was difficult to find a moment of rest where they could talk. There was a lull and Anokhi sensed that Babli was hesitating to broach the topic that was on her mind which was why she expected the questions to turn towards her past.
“Nikki, you’re sure about this right? I mean, you never stay in Chandigarh for more than a few days. And now all of a sudden, you’re staying back and working in SIAC? Why?” Anokhi hesitated to answer because what could she tell her sister? She accepted out of spite? She had something to prove and said yes in the heat of the moment? Even she didn’t like that answer, as honest as it was. Because she went around acting like she didn’t care anymore and she hated that a part of her did.
“Why di? Just now you were complaining that I never stay back and now that I am, you have a problem with it?” Her tone was teasing, trying to deflect from answering the tougher question. Anokhi was just glad that they were talking over the phone and not face to face so she could hide her uneasiness at the whole situation.
“Of course not, silly girl. I’m extremely happy that you’re here. It’s just, with the way you left SIAC and left things with Shaurya ji, I never thought you’d go back.” Anokhi had also never thought she’d go back. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay working with him?” That was the million-dollar question, one that even Anokhi didn’t have an answer to. She wanted to be okay. She would convince everyone that she would be, but whether things would pan out the way she wanted, she didn’t know.
“Yes, I’ll be perfectly fine,” she lied after a moment of hesitation. She put up the front, reciting the same words she’d been telling herself over and over. “It’s been years since we called things off and I got over it a long time ago. I’d be a fool if I let something frivolous like that keep me from accepting this offer. Besides, Shaan sir personally requested, so how could I say no? Don’t worry di, whatever happened between us, it’s all in the past.” Maybe, just maybe, if she kept telling herself that, she’d believe it too. Because if she was going to face him every day, she’d need all the self-indoctrination she could get.
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Now that Anokhi was officially on staff, she had been assigned the empty cabin on the second floor. They offered to take her input into the décor, but she didn’t bother taking them up on it. After all, she was only a temporary guest in this university. She came as the Program Director and as soon as the program was up and running smoothly, she’d hand it off. So, what was the point of establishing roots in this place?
Which was why she brought very little with her aside from her laptop, a few files, and writing utensils. With all she needed to do her job in her purse, Anokhi headed up to the second floor where her office was. It was roomy enough for her, with the basic furnishings provided covering all her bases. Setting up shop, she began to look through the timeline for their project. It was tight given that they had to submit the grant proposal soon and take care of fundraising separately. During the meeting they had promised to not touch the general endowment as far as possible, meaning they’d have to find external sponsors.
A knock brought her attention up and she saw Aastha standing by her office. Anokhi immediately stood up, rushing to hug her teacher. They had kept in touch because Aastha was not someone who Anokhi could cut out of her life just because things had ended poorly with her son. But those channels of communication had only recently reopened. Initially, Anokhi had wanted to speak with no one that could even accidentally give her any information about Shaurya. Because if she heard he was doing well, she would be devastated but if she heard that he wasn’t, then she’d be shattered.
“Ma’am, I wasn’t expecting you. Please come sit.” She said to which Aastha shook her head. “I can’t stay long. I’m on my way to work myself, but I just wanted to come and congratulate you in person. Shaan told me how you impressed the Trustees and got approval for the program.” Anokhi accepted the compliment graciously, and they talked about the project, about her travels, about how far she’d come since Kapurthala. She learned that Aastha and Shaan had decided to give their relationship another shot, despite the many years they spent apart. For reasons that weren’t fully divulged to her, it was mentioned that Shaan alternated staying at the Sabherwal house and at his place with Aastha. The conversation flowed easily, as though no time had even passed.
“Anokhi I really should get going. Otherwise, you won’t get any work done and I’ll never make it to work.” Aastha joked, and she offered to walk her to the gates but Aastha declined, insisting that she’d already taken up too much for her time. As she was headed out, Aastha remembered the gift that sat in her purse.
“Oh, I forgot. I got you something. It’s obviously not your first office, but it’ll be my first gift to you for your new job. Congratulations, once again.” Taking the carefully wrapped box from her teacher, Anokhi gave her another hug before she left. On her way out, Aastha considered stopping by Shaurya’s cabin to see if he was doing okay. But she still didn’t know how he would react to her appearing unexpectedly. Their conversations were mostly through the phone and preplanned meetings. So perhaps her visiting without notice wouldn’t be taken too kindly. Deciding she’d try and reach out to meet with him later, she left campus.
Shaurya arrived late for the first time in years, not at all pleased with the announcement that went out to the faculty and staff about the new member joining their team. No matter where he went, someone or another was talking about her. At home, everyone avoided taking her name in front of him, but he knew they were all thinking it. Here, because no one knew what transpired between the two, plenty of people discussed the new Program Director. It was giving him a serious headache.
Walking up the stairs, he made his way to his cabin. Only then did he realize that Anokhi had been assigned her office. And it sat right beside his. As if the universe hadn’t hated him enough. He caught sight of her form by the door, her back to him with a box in hand. He subconsciously cast a glance around, before curiosity got the best of him and he waited to see what was in the box.
Gingerly, Anokhi tore the wrapping paper and opened the gift her Aastha ma’am had given her. In it was a picture frame and note that read “Never forget how far you’ve come Anokhi. Congrats on your many successes.” Turning the frame around, she found a picture of herself from years ago. With pleated hair and a bright blue suit, a young girl smiled at the camera brightly from her bicycle. Anokhi barely recognized the face that stared back at her, and Shaurya, who saw the image as well, barely recognized the woman who stood in the office now. Where her memory had erased this side of herself, his had preserved only these parts.
She walked to her desk and hesitated for a moment. It was a gift from her teacher who had clearly given it to her to serve as a reminder of her roots. But Anokhi didn’t need the reminder, nor did she want it. So rather than place the frame on her desk or anywhere in her line of vision, she opened the drawer of her desk and left her old self where she belonged. Locked away from the world.
Sighing she looked up and discovered Shaurya standing in the hallway outside her office. His expression was undecipherable as his eyes were blocked by sunglasses. But she felt exposed, as though he had caught her big secret by seeing her leave the present in her desk drawer. Shaurya on the other hand felt that this woman was unreadable. What was she trying to prove? Why did it feel like every action she took, whether intended for him or not, was still a jab in his direction? There was a moment of mutual discomfort before both of their masks were back up. Without any words, Shaurya stalked off to his own office.
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Hours passed and he had yet to get any work done. The headache that had been a slight pulse in the morning was now pounding. His meetings for the day were shifted around because he very much intended to stay inside his cabin. Until this excitement surrounding Ms. Bhalla’s hire died down, he didn’t want to talk to anyone. With his chair turned away from the door and eyes closed, he pressed his thumb and forefinger to his temples. The sound of footsteps shuffling outside his office interrupted his peace and before the person could announce themselves, Shaurya called out.
“I already told you not to disturb me today. How many times do I have to repeat myself? Go, leave. Don’t bother me unless someone’s dying.” His tone was rude as ever and Anokhi was hardly surprised. This was who he had always been, and she wasn’t lying when she said he hadn’t changed. She cleared her throat, understanding those words weren’t meant for her.
“What? What is it? Who’s dying?” He demanded, whipping around in his chair to unleash his fury on the innocent staff. Instead, he was met by Anokhi who wore a neutral expression. If she had felt exposed that morning, now the shoe was on the other foot. “Ms. Bhalla,” he began, cooling the anger that she wasn’t supposed to see. “Not the person I expected to see.”
“Clearly,” she retorted calmly with obvious disapproval in her tone. The very temper that he was trying to suppress flared because of her judgement. Who was she to disapprove, regardless of what he did? Then again, this was her old habit. Apparently, this was one thing this Anokhi hadn’t changed about herself. Rather than let her see him falter, he decided to get this conversation over with as fast as possible. The sooner she told him why she was here, the sooner he’d be free of her.
“What can I do for you today?” He sat up and motioned for her to take the seat before him. Anokhi however, hesitated to enter the cabin. She was intimately familiar with the space that had once been their haven from the world. These four walls housed their secret rendezvous and witnessed their love induced foolishness. Now this cabin was nothing more than a relic of her unpleasant past. Perhaps he was able to work in this memory laden space without faltering, but she couldn’t bring herself to take another step in. Without giving him a chance to question her pause, she supplied a sarcastic reason instead.
“Are you sure?” Her tone held an icy bite, projecting her annoyance with herself onto him. “No one’s dying.” Shaurya let out a restrained stream of air, releasing the pressure that her words were clearly building inside of him. The headache that pounded before was now splintering. He knew that sooner or later he would lash out and he didn’t want it to be at her. He didn’t want to give her the satisfaction.
“When has that ever stopped you?” He threw back mockingly. It was her turn to be annoyed at the reference to a past she didn’t want to discuss. “I just came to ask if you’ll be working on the project or not. If so, I have an updated timeline and cost projections for you to review. Also, a draft of the grant proposal. If not, I’ll go directly to Shaan sir.”
Shaurya had yet to make a firm decision on this matter. He knew he wouldn’t let her run him out of his own college, but did that mean that he was comfortable working with her, day in and day out, to develop this project? It was only day one and he was already getting a headache. A few more months of this and he worried he would develop an aneurysm. Yet another part said why should surrender his initiative over to this woman. Clearly, she had no reservations about working with him. No, rather she very casually came to ask him if they would work together. It didn’t slip his notice that she hadn’t come into his office despite his invitation to do so. And somehow that especially bothered him. This whole morning he had been on edge and her presence, her presumptuous question, and now her refusal to even be in the same space as him sent him over.
“And what makes you think I wouldn’t?” He began, rising from his seat and timing his words with his strides towards her. “This project was my idea. I’m the one that laid the foundation that you’re using. I’m the one that convinced most of the trustees before you walked in.” She noted how every sentence undermined her efforts and suggested that it wasn’t her work, but his, that won approval for the project. “So, after hours of hard work,” Shaurya now stood in front of her, dangerously close. She looked up at his towering form, hyperaware of his proximity to her.
“What reason could I possibly have to back out now?” He practically spat the last question at her and she met his glare with an air of apathy. It was her mistake to even bother asking him. He was right. What reason could he possibly have?
“So that’s a yes?” The slight inflection at the end was unintentional and what she meant as a statement, instead came out as another question. She cursed herself internally for the slip-up and saw his expression change slightly. “Do I need to spell that out for you?” It was her turn to glare and his turn to meet her with triumph.
“The reports,” she stated, offering the documents she had in her hand to the man. He kept his gaze trained on her for a second longer before taking the reports she held out for him. And as soon as the files changed hands, Anokhi turned to leave, wishing to spend no more time than necessary in his presence.
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A/N: Thank you all for reading! Sorry that this is a slower chapter that is more focused on story building and exposition. The next chapter will have more ShaKhi moments I promise. I hope you all enjoyed and please let me know your thoughts!! Please excuse any grammatical errors as I didn't have the chance to fully proofread this chapter.
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