Aastha and Shaan

I am not able to connect with them. Their reason for staying apart is pathetic. How shaurya had to suffer because of their selfish decisions. When u have kids they should be prioritised.

I feel for shaurya. He is not a bad person. He still craves attention he didnt get from his parents during childhood. Even now his mom just left without saying anything to him after defending a girl. And she was spending time with her husband instead of her son. She should have atleast asked him to go talk or something. She asks too much of shaurya. Expects him to give her respect of his mother but is not acting like one.

Playing the devil's advocate here. Please bear with me.

Astha could have stayed back and taken Tej's money to support her parents. In that case she would have forever lived in the shadows of the haveli as an ideal bahu and mother. Then she wouldn't have become the mentor and inspiration for girls like Anokhi. Not many people go out of their way to help others like Astha did. Good mothers are found everywhere but teachers like Astha are rare. And I am sure Astha would have become a good mother if she was allowed to be one. But she was faced with a difficult choice. Most of us would have chosen our child over our parents.

Or, she could have taken Shaurya along with her to live with her parents. In that case she would be depriving him of a father. She would also have to face many practical problems. She already had a job and ailing parents to look after. Where would she find the time for Shaurya. And in the initial days as a lecturer, she would not even be able to afford a caretaker for him. So maybe she thought Shaurya would have a better life with the Sabharwals. She was not leaving him with strangers but his own father.

Or, maybe she did try to take him along but the Sabharwals did not allow her. She could have approached the law but given that they were not divorced, the question of custody does not arise. Also, seeing how obsessed Devi is with Shaurya, the eldest Sabharwals would have used all their power to keep her away.

As for Shaan, he says during the library conversation that he tried to give as much time as he could to Shaurya. Maybe, bade papa and badi maa are too overbearing. He could not have a say over the upbringing that they wanted to give Shaurya.

As to why Shaan could not move out with Astha. In the original story, Shaan also shared the sexist views of his brothers. He too did not want his wife to work. He wanted her to stay at home and take care of their kid. Even when Shaurya rejects Shagun, he doesn't oppose it. His attitude changes once Astha returns to his life. The Shaan here is different from the original. He was not a drunken devdaas there and had a more proactive role in his son's life as well as the college functionings. So I too don't understand why he couldn't leave that house as he seems to share Astha's views from the beginning in this one.

All said and done, I would still like them to show that Astha tried to fight for her son. This one flaw is undermining her struggles as an independent, working woman.

I do hope they provide more explanation for Astha and Shaan's actions in the past. It could be that Shaan's Tej and (and later Devi) may have taken their parents's place for Shaan and even that chachu. Shaan did say Tej and Devi are his 'wajood' so he might be too grateful to leave them.

She chose her parents over her child & family

I know she felt obligated to help her parents but completely leaving your child and husband...I too have trouble swallowing this

yes the SWs are CP but Shaan seemed decent

conversely Shaan allowing his son to be raised by his brother and SIL also doesn’t sit well with me either

I feel both parents failed Shaurya so a part of me gets his hate ...just hope they keep him balanced and grey

I don’t want OTT hate towards Anokhi either cause then it gets hard to emphasize with the leads

Finally!! Someone made this topic. I was not able to connect with aastha at all. Frankly speaking if this is end of backstory then I don't want shaurya to ever accept her. She doesn't deserve it. If she was never going to prioritize her own child, she shouldn't have one. I would not even bother giving her benefit of doubt that the family pressurized her because look at her. Does it look like anyone can pressurize her?she wants shaurya's respect but hasn't done anything or want to do anything to deserve it. Respect is earned. Khairaat mein nahi bat ta respect. Even now she is here fighting for anokhi. Did she ever think of finding a way to keep both or just chose easy way out and picked a side as soon as sabarwals didn't let her work. She loves her independence and that is ok but when child suffers because of choices made by adults, everything just becomes wrong. Nobody especially aastha has any right to say anything to shaurya. I really hope anokhi doesn't try to become a bridge between aastha and shaurya and leave them alone to figure it out themselves so shaurya can make his own choices independently and freely.

Originally posted by: silvermoonlight

She chose her parents over her child & family

I know she felt obligated to help her parents but completely leaving your child and husband...I too have trouble swallowing this

yes the SWs are CP but Shaan seemed decent

conversely Shaan allowing his son to be raised by his brother and SIL also doesn’t sit well with me either

I feel both parents failed Shaurya so a part of me gets his hate ...just hope they keep him balanced and grey

I don’t want OTT hate towards Anokhi either cause then it gets hard to emphasize with the leads

In joint families, it’s not uncommon for the kids to be raised by grandparents or aunts and uncles, even with the parents around. Even though Devi and Tej were traditional and overbearing, Shaan probably assumed Shaurya was in good hands with family. That was probably better than being raised by a stranger or nanny.

Devi is more about instilling hate in Shaurya for his mother. I do wonder if Shaurya knew the truth from the start, would he have felt differently about his mother. But we’d have no show then. Anyways I get Shauryas frustration. In all of this mess, he’s the one who lost out on parental love.

With Anokhi, the show’s message is of treating a daughter in law as a daughter, vis a vis Shaan and Aasthas support. Unfortunate this is the thing that makes them look like bad parents in front of Shaurya. At the same time, they need to counter the Sabherwals belief of treating their DILs differently from their daughters. Same for Babli and her in laws. Montys awful parents.

Shaan and Aastha will never be anything close to ideal parents. But they will probably end up being great in laws. And maybe down the online, they will be the ones who support Shaurya and his decisions. Who stand by him when he himself goes against the Sabherwal tradition. It won’t make up for past mistakes but it will maybe reconcile things just a bit.

I do hope there’s more to the backstory. All Aastha wanted was to support her parents, the people who raised and supported her and bought her into this world. Remember how progressive her parents’ thinking was in that episode when Anokhi visits them on the eve of her wedding. Aastha wanted to be a good daughter and continue to be a good mother. Aastha didn’t have to make a choice. Unfortunately she was forced to. It’s awful to not be there for the people you love when you most need them and that goes for parents and children and spouse. Maybe they need to show Aasthas internal turmoil with this.

I know in joint families kids are kinda raised with common parenting

However Shaan is shown as a drunk and kinda outta it ...it wasn’t a joint effort ...he literally gave up wanting to be a single parent and stayed in a drunken stupor after Astha left ...rather than being strong and being the primary parental figure , he became a shadow

Astha knew what kind of pple the SW were and so for her to be ok with leaving her son with very narrow minded pple ...I dunno ...maybe they need to show what Astha went through after she left her son and husband ...did she try to reconnect? Did she try to come back ??
If she left and never looked back ...then that’s a bit hard to swallow and justify tbh and I get Shauryas anger in every way

Originally posted by: silvermoonlight

I know in joint families kids are kinda raised with common parenting

However Shaan is shown as a drunk and kinda outta it ...it wasn’t a joint effort ...he literally gave up wanting to be a single parent and stayed in a drunken stupor after Astha left ...rather than being strong and being the primary parental figure , he became a shadow

Astha knew what kind of pple the SW were and so for her to be ok with leaving her son with very narrow minded pple ...I dunno ...maybe they need to show what Astha went through after she left her son and husband ...did she try to reconnect? Did she try to come back ??
If she left and never looked back ...then that’s a bit hard to swallow and justify tbh and I get Shauryas anger in every way

definitely agree! He’s the only one I don’t get out of this. Either he should have left with Aastha or stayed back and been a parent to Shaurya. If Aastha couldn’t be there, he should have been there for Shaurya.Shaan was neither here nor there.

Originally posted by: somewhereover

definitely agree! He’s the only one I don’t get out of this. Either he should have left with Aastha or stayed back and been a parent to Shaurya. If Aastha couldn’t be there, he should have been there for Shaurya.Shaan was neither here nor there.

And because of Shaan's this behaviour Shaurya feels that his parents don't want him. As we can see how he burnt with jealousy seeing Anokhi's bond with his parents. Infact Shaan too never tried much to understand his perspective. Remember that scene when Shaurya asked Shaan to check on his son's success rather than be a drunkard Devdas and Shaan blatantly said that this is the reason of his life . And then when Shaurya thought that Shaan came back to work because of him and again was proven wrong. I believe Shaan miserably failed as a father.

And as for Aastha less said will be better. She is a good woman, teacher and daughter but definitely not a good mother. A mother can go to any extent for his child just like Rama did for Anokhi but Astha never tried enough.

Aastha is Shaan’s strength. And weakness too. She brings out the best in him. Without Aastha, he is really nothing. Aastha managed to live her life without Shaan (she couldn’t afford it any other way) but he couldn’t. The second she came back into his life, with a single phone call, he became a changed man overnight literally. No wonder Shaurya was upset. His own dad was drunk on his engagement day and not that attentive. What Shauryas presence couldn’t do for years, one phone call from Aastha changed it all. Aastha managed without Shaan all these years. It’s unclear whether she thought about Shaurya and tried to gain custody.

I feel there is more to the story that will come up soon. The creatives are saving part of it for later, there is more to unfold I believe. Let see.