From & To Sathish #6 - Page 40

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6TvYzWjRqA

“My yesterdays walk with me. They keep step, they are gray faces that peer over my shoulder.” John Connolly

An alter ego (Latin for "other I") means an alternate self, which is believed to be distinct from a person's normal or true original personality. Finding one's alter ego will require finding one's other self, one with a different personality.

In the beginning, I was lost and lonely. Looking back at those moments, I wonder if something of the old that belongs to the previous life got carried over to this life or just accidentally slipped through and gained a foothold in the present.

When faced with darkness in ambience, and in relationships, the human mind rich and fertile in its illusions creates an invisible companion that I now know as my alter-ego. The funniest thing about this rather vague situation is that I grew up but my alter ego did not and stayed put at an age that is sometimes three and at most times six or seven years of age.

I use that number with a fair certainty for this was about the age when I stopped fearing loneliness and embraced it as solitude. Mind you, loneliness and solitude are two extremes. One of the advantages of having a younger alter ego is that you are blessed with the ability to see everything and experience everything with new eyes, and full of wonder. Again and again.

I will let you in on a secret and that is I have suspected for a long time that my alter ego is mildly autistic.

Now in my middle age, I see life with a different view and thought process. I see this voyage called life as a sort of discovery channel. An opportunity to see, learn, and become aware.

For what and why? I have no idea as of now. But, nowadays I have started to understand that asking, seeking and questioning are more important than the answers, even.

Because, even though all our subjects and syllabus feel similar, the process of calculation and sum result vary and differ when tallied.

Life is a beautiful problem that is given to everyone and the same questions asked and yet all of us approach it in our unique ways and so end up with our unique answers.

That is why I don't believe in Gurus and spiritual leaders who are but brokers that stand between you and your creator.

Why do we need brokers to talk to our mother or father?

I prefer to stand in line, in queue and wait for my ticket and my slot with my creator rather than buy it in black through a so-called Guru and leader.

I used to aim for perfection and happiness but now I am at peace with imperfections for I find more joy and adventure in it than the former.

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/one-ingredient-makes-rice-100x-213000154.html

Avan, Aval Adhu 524

Boleji asked Ravi what his thoughts were about the late " Amma " and put the same question to Madhu who answered instantly by saying, ' Bold lady. Learned, articulate and fearless even.'

When both looked at Ravi, he smiled and said, ' Madhu has answered for me.'

' Don't you have anything to add, Master sir?'

' No. Not right now. But later after you are done using her as an example.'

Boleji looked at Madhu who said, ' I am not sure where I figure in this example and in what context, Boleji. But, I am curious to know what you are thinking and why you think there is something similar between the great Amma and me.'

Taking a sip of the freshly brewed filter coffee, Boleji said, ' I thought of the other great woman Indira Gandhi but it would not have done justice to either you or the late Amma. Our later prime Minister Indira Gandhi was born into power and luxury and was born with a golden spoon. She was groomed to take over after her father, Pandit Nehru, and had an unfair advantage.

Placing the expensive bone china cup on the table, ' The late Jayalalitha on the other hand had none of that for she was born into an average family and then pushed into films at the age of 16 and that too opposite the late MGR himself. Poor thing, for all the dreams that she had of a great academic career were dashed and she was forced into a career that she hated. Yet, she endured and persevered in a career she abhorred and ruled for many years as the numero uno actress.

Then she is once again groomed by her mentor MGR and brought into politics and she soon begins a meteoric rise in the party. Her non-stop hard work in campaigning for the AIADMK party in 1984 when her leader MGR was fighting for his life in the USA is still spoken of with reverence. Then the man dies while in power and a violent power struggle begins and when things get out of hand, the elected govt is dismissed and elections are held once again and the late Karunanidhi becomes the chief minister once again.

But, his govt is dismissed too citing terrorist activities and links and the AIADMK sweeps back into power under their new leader Amma herself.'

Boleji looked at Madhu and Ravi and said, ' Just imagine the lady, alone, in a world dominated by men and how she sustained,kept her party under control and retained her vote bank even after she lost the 1996 elections and was drowned in several criminal cases concerning financial gain.

MGR was good, but let us not forget that he had decades of experience in politics and was an active member of the DMK party. Even when he was driven out of the party, a lot of experienced DMK leaders followed him and joined his new party.

He sustained the party that he started in 1972 and kept an iron grip on it and did so until his passing in 1987. But, this lady, this " AMMA " did more and went further than her leader and mentor. She kept the party going from 1987 to 2016 until she finally succumbed in December of that year and the very same year that she retained power and with a good majority and that too despite the 2015 floods that everyone had foretold with certainty that it would be her nemesis and would lead to her defeat.

Raising his hand to indicate Madhu, he looked at Ravi, ' When her late husband Premji passed away she was just 28 and yet she boldly stepped forward and took control of the company. At the time of his demise, Premji Associates was worth 50 to 60 crores and yet today it is worth thousands of crores.

She took their private company and went public and it is now one of the fastest-growing companies in India. The company's shares are supposedly worth their weight in Gold and are grabbed and gobbled up when a few come on the market after they are placed by somebody either mad or desperate for quick cash.

' And unlike the late Amma ' Ravi said and when both Boleji and Madhu looked at him, he continued, ' Madhu has never been accused of corruption or any malpractice and I am sure, her company is viewed among the public with immense respect.'

In a rueful tone, ' What saddens me the most is that even with all that power, knowledge and motivation, she could not keep her government corruption-free until the very end. Her proximity and dependence on a few people who were mistakenly absorbed into her inner core tainted her reputation and those cases haunted her even after death. Luckily, she passed on or she might have been forced to spend a few years in jail along with her close friend, aide and partner in crime, Sasikala.'

' So' Boleji asked and Ravi replied, ' In the end, your actions, and the results of those actions, speak for themselves and speak about you. It is not what you say but what you do and prove that stands and lasts forever.'

Boleji nodded, ' Was I wrong in comparing the late Amma with our Madhuji?'

' No. Not at all. We all belong to the same species and many a time, our actions and words may reflect others, even great leaders but at some point parallel lives diverge at a fork in each of their lives.'

' Meaning ' Boleji prompted Ravi who stared at the crimson flower-laden Gulmohar tree and answered, ' All of us look up to Bapu, Mahatma Gandhi as our guide and mentor but even he made a few sentimental mistakes that this country is paying for till today. When the entire party voted for Sardar Vallabhai Patel to be made Prime Minister, Gandhi blundered badly and forced everybody to accept Pandit Nehru.'

Turning his gaze on Boleji, ' Our Madhuji on the other hand, has lived her life with discipline and honesty and has led her company from the front by setting high standards for herself and for others to follow. Most of our leaders speak about manners, discipline and honesty in public but very few of them follow it in their personal lives. They are two-faced and that instantly screams danger and corruption. But, Madhuji is clean in both her personal and public life and has no secrets to hide.'

Smiling, he looked at Boleji, ' There will come a day when people will try to live their lives like our boss here and maybe they already do. Like myself.'

Boleji rose to his feet and slowly placed the coffee cups on the tray and finally looked at Ravi, ' Just envision the future of her and your company now that you are by her side. The sky is the limit, master sir.'

Bending his head slightly, ' Please excuse me while I go ahead and work out a menu for lunch and dinner.'

https://youtube.com/shorts/SKxQyoIMKWk?si=1XDGKePVtaQsdRSq

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Avan, Aval Adhu 525

' Madhu ' Ravi said her name and from just the way he said it, she knew that he wanted to say something.

Ruffling his soft, wavy hair, ' Jaanu, I am yours, head to toe and that includes, every cell of my body. So, ask, take whatever you want of me and from me. It is all yours.'

Thanking her Ravi told her how blessed and happy he was to have her by his side and when he looked like he was again struggling to speak freely, Madhu made an exasperating sound and puffing her cheeks, blew a sudden storm of air at the strands of hair that had quietly crept back to their rightful place—her soft cheeks.

' Baby, if you don't tell me what is eating you right now, I am going to yell my head off ' she groaned her frustration and surrendering by raising his hands, he said, ' Will it be possible for both of us to go to this famous Dakshineshwar temple right now?'

' OMG! Is that it? Is this what you found so difficult to say? ' Madhu exclaimed and jumped to her feet and Ravi grabbing her hand asked, ' What about work and your company stuff?'

' All that can wait. For God's sake, Jaanu, I just got married and newly married people are entitled to a honeymoon and a decent holiday? Is my logic correct?'

Getting up, Ravi replied, ' Your logic is impeccable. As always.'

They went back to the room to change but the little rest and food had done their work and in a blink of an eye it was back to the bed for both of them.

He undressed her slowly, placing a soft wet kiss as each part of her skin revealed itself to his mouth and then slowly unbuttoned her blouse and released her beautiful breasts from their cloth cages and took turns in sucking each of her strawberry-colored nipples.

When she began to moan her pain and pleasure, Ravi fell to his knees and placed his mouth on her sweet-smelling wetness, and spreading her legs, began to lick her from top to bottom and unable to control herself, she grabbed his head and forced his mouth into her wetness and erupted her creamy orgasm into his throat.

Ravi got to his feet and looked at her with eyes glazed and numb with lust and desire. He pushed her roughly onto the bed and with one rough thrust forced his huge, swollen C.ck into her and she gasped as it stretched her and filled her entire body and she came again and again.

He took his time making love to her and also took his time f.cking her. Madhu lost count of her orgasms and lost count of her tears as she kept dying and going to heaven and coming back to earth and returning to heaven.

Then when she felt his orgasm begin to build and flood through his large c.ck she begged, ' Please, in my mouth. Let me suck you and taste every drop of you with my tongue.'

Pulling his wet and hard cock, he stood up and when she fell to her knees and took him in her mouth, he screamed as he fu.ked her mouth and as she sucked him dry and kept sucking him until there was nothing left for the moment.

Totally spent, both slowly collapsed into the bed and fell asleep in each other's arms

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Avan, Aval Adhu 526

They lay side by side gazing into each other's eyes. Her big beautiful brown eyes bored into his soul through his coal black eyes and without even conscious of it, her lips moved in a gentle murmur and whispered, ' I love you, Ravi. I knew that in the very first moment, our eyes caressed each other all those years ago. I did not know what to make of it back then but I see it and feel it completely.'

' What is different from back then in school? ' he asked and she said, ' So much. So much more, Jaanu ' and as he watched her struggle for a better way to explain herself, he used his left-hand fingers to slowly lift her wild curly hair away from her cheeks and told her that he felt her too.

' No, Jaanu. No. Wait for I have the words now ' and her eyes glittering like twinkling stars, she said, ' The seed is everything. It is from that the tallest and mightiest of trees grow. But, only when the tree is in full growth and bloom do we see its true and full potential.'

Our love back in school was a seed and now our love is in full bloom and will continue to grow on and on....'

He pecked her lips, eyes and nose with soft kisses and whispered, ' In your arms, in your love, I am now fully alive and aware ' and took her hand and placed it on his heart, ' Can you feel it, Madhu? My heart feels different and somehow free of some burden. It feels like a ship unburdened by a heavy anchor and is now free to roam the oceans without any encumbrances. Christmas is around the corner and it only reminds me of the power of love, faith and devotion.'

She smiled, ' Jaanu, why the reference to Christmas and the birth of Jesus?'

' For without Jesus, Lazarus would not have returned from the dead, Madhu. Even when you went away, your love kept me going and helped me endure and then when I fell into a deep Coma and was getting ready to leave this world, you returned and kissed me and raised me back from darkness and from certain death.

So, you are my Christ and I am your Lazarus.'

They spoke, kissed, touched and loved, oblivious to time and a world outside their world.

Ravi Kumar raised his head and looked at the large digital clock and saw that the time was 10.30 am and turning her head, Madhu saw what he saw and asked him what he was thinking.

' I was just wondering if we had enough time to go to Dakshineshwar temple..'

Madhu smiled and said, ' Now. You want to leave right now.'

He nodded and then said, ' Only if it is possible and then again maybe it is too late and it might be shut by the time we reach the place.'

Kissing him softly, she smiled and said, ' Baby, let me take care of that and don't worry too much about the timings for the temple remains open until 12.30 pm. So, we have enough time to bathe and it is only about 10 km from our home.'

Raising himself on his elbow, he looked at the bathroom and winking an eye, asked ' You or me or both?'

' You first and I will join you in a moment. I have a few calls to make before that.'

She watched him enter the bathroom and picking up the phone quickly told Boleji what she wanted done immediately. Then she made another call and the man in a very polite and respectful tone told her that it would be done.

' Ma'am, you have called on the right day and at the right moment for today is Saturday and a special Pooja is being done for Kali ma after the visiting timings for the public is over. As one of the main benefactors of this temple, you and your family members are entitled to be present for this special pooja that is going to be conducted. You might not remember this but your late dada used to attend this pooja every Saturday without fail.'

Madhu thanked him and closing her eyes, spoke to her late Grandpa and thanked him. ' Dada, I know you are always there for me. But from now on, I want you to watch over Ravi too. Don't worry about me and let him be the first priority. Please protect him and see that no harm ever falls on him.'

Ravi turned the shower off and was just about to step out of the bathroom when it opened and Madhurima came in and asked her what had kept her for so long.

' The phone call took longer than I thought it would take. But, it is done now. Give me a few minutes and I will be out.'

Since the temple was now on their minds, Ravi nodded and stepped out of the bathroom when his eyes caught sight of something on the bed. Wrapping the large towel around his waist, he walked towards the bed and saw a brand new silk Kurta and dhoti laid on top of it.

Hearing the bathroom door open, he turned and saw Madhu peep out and say, ' Jaanu, I hope you like my selection and hopefully the size should be correct.'

The label said " 42, regular fit " and raising the Kurta, Ravi held it at arm's distance and approving her selection, told her that it looked perfect.

' Everything about you and all that you do is perfect. Thank you.'