From & To Sathish #5 - Page 77

https://youtu.be/Trp5w_ydInY

Avan, Aval Adhu 253

Has this happened to you? You thought of something and your wife or partner of many a year would have echoed it by exclaiming, " I was thinking it and you said it. You took the words out of my mouth."

Telepathy. Na. stop that sentimental crap right now. It is just not possible to read any other person's thoughts. Just not possible. But wait, there is a better way to know your loved one's thoughts and that is through, understanding. But to know and understand someone, let alone a loved one, you need to have patience, sympathy, and empathy in your own mind and also do a reasonable job in observing him or her and the signs and messages that they are expressing through their eyes and through their bodies.

It might surprise you to know that all of us are capable of doing all this and more but don't in certain and or most occasions for our own need to be understood and sympathized with supersedes the loved one's needs.

It never fails to amaze me or surprise me when people who have been married for 20 years or more exhibit behaviour that shows that they don't understand each other and sadly never will.

Yet, many of these marriages and relationships last until one of them is termed " The late so and so " and runs smoothly like a well-oiled machine.

A good marriage is just a machine in the end. A well-oiled production machine. But, in its favour, such oiled marriages ( Machines) are what is required to keep life and civilization running smoothly, in peace and harmony.

Two people come together and over time, they manage to smooth out their rough edges and fit themselves into a shape that will last until they are old and their time is up. Give and take. Push and pull. I sacrifice a bit and you a bit.

Easily said than done, my fellow travellers of life for we know better about that bitter truth don't we? In many relationships, it never is two but one who takes the brunt of the load and weight and carries it right till the end. It could be physical or mental or both and that is the truth.

Forget Ravi, for Daksha would not have sat quietly without doing anything, while her husband was being insulted and worse hurt by the very person he had come to care about.

But this was no person. This was Gayatri and she was their best friend's gal. Then again, Ravi was not just a friend but more and what they felt for him could never be captured in words.

If Partha had felt hurt by Gayatri lashing out at him and also using the F word, he did not show it and instead looked at Ravi and smiled seeing the subtle smile that flared in his eyes.

He glanced at Daksha who nodded and stayed silent.

It is not only married people or people who have been together in a relationship for a long time who sometimes exhibit telepathic kind of behaviour for it regularly happens among people who care deeply about each other. They too happen to be in a relationship. That relationship is called friendship and like marriages their bonds too last a long time. But sadly, like marriages, friendships too break up and end in a divorce.

With just a look, Ravi conveyed to Partha and Daksha what he was thinking. Gayatri was upset and hurt about something and that was the reason for her unusual and erratic behaviour.

By just blinking his eyes once, Ravi conveyed to his friends that it was okay and that he would take care of it and also conveyed to them to stay out of it.

Meanwhile, Gayatri who sat quietly drowning herself in shame and sorrow for she felt tremendously guilty for having spoken harshly to Partha took a deep breath, cleared her throat and in that time, cleared her mind and said in a clear and loud voice.

' Partha, please forgive me for poor and uncouth behaviour. Trust me when I tell you and all of you that this is not me. This is not who I am. I am just tired and I am just scared and worried sick.'

Even before she could finish saying what she was going to say, Ravi had already leapt to his feet and crossed the distance between them and kneeling before her, hugged her and held her in his arms.

' Gayatri, there is no need for apologies for you are among friends. We know for sure for we can see with our eyes that something is preying on your mind and heart.'

Gayatri tried to say something but Ravi hushed her by patting her back and said, ' Talk only when you are ready to talk. Until then, just relax and feel free to curse, scold and lash out at all of us.'

Moving back, he cupped her face and gently kissed her lips and said, ' But whatever you do, please promise me, promise us that you will not shut yourself from us and that you will not forsake us.'

Ravi saw the tears sparkle like pure diamonds as they welled up from her soul and he said, ' Remember Gayatri, that I am still your friend and I will remain that until my last breath leaves me. I don't know what the future holds for both of us but I know this right now. I love you and I will do anything for you.'

He gently wiped her tears away using his thumbs and whispered softly, ' Anything that you ask I will do ' and smiling naughtily, ' and I say that with full trust and complete faith in you for I know you will not ask me to do something that is not to my liking or which makes me uncomfortable.'

Gayatri nodded and thought to herself, ' Ravi, what will you do if I ask you to forget me and let me go and what will you do if you meet Madhu again? What will happen when all three of us stand in the same space finally and realize who each of us is and how we are related to each other? What will your response be when I tell you that the woman you loved and still love is my stepmother? Will you still love me then? Will my stepmother Madhu still love me then or will you both end up hating me and abandoning me?'

https://youtu.be/0F-FBWryQrE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBh9mE38D9A

Avan, Aval Adhu 254

Ravi dropped his arms and gently backing away asked Gayatri, ' Is this the same Gayatri who swung her expensive camera and broke the face of a person who was trying to kill her? No, I don't believe it. The Gayatri I know and who I am proud to call my friend is not this person who is sitting in front of us with tears in her eyes and with anger in her heart.'

Leaning forward, he gently wiped the tears from her eyes and said, ' My Gayatri, the woman who I have fallen in love with would not throw such temper tantrums like a child but would boldly state her problem and demand an answer and an explanation.'

Ravi reached forward and took Gayatri's hands in his and kissed them both tenderly and whispered in a soft voice, ' The owner of these hands that saved two children is a hero. A superhero and a warrior who will not hesitate to put her life on the line if it means saving another person's life.'

He looked at her sadly, ' And yet, right now all I see in my hero's eyes is fear, pain and anger. How is that possible?'

Gayatri's eyes filled with shiny tears as every loving word spoken soothingly by Ravi had the opposite effect on her heart and only served to tear open the small tears and make them gape as deep and dark holes.

A small song, a secret poem of an interlude that can only be heard by you and me and by Gayatri

Tears in my eyes are from the several tears in my heart

the liquid diamonds that sparkle in my eyelid traps

are but my pain and my sorrow and my defeats

that are welling up from the blackness of my heart

I am a warrior and a brave one but

not when it comes to me but when it comes to others

I have nothing, no fight, no strength left

to fight for myself for these hands are cursed

I close my arms around me now

to encsonce myself in my own shroud of grief

and to protect myself from more pain and from more loss

Wiping her tears, a sad smile spreading on her beautiful but dry lips, she looked at Ravi, ' I did not understand it then but I do now. I always complained to my dad and mum about my name and kept bitching that I deserved a better and more trendy name. But now I know why I was named Gayatri and I fully understand the meaning behind my name.'

Ravi stared at her with confused eyes and waited for her to finish saying what she had in her mind even though he knew what the name Gayatri meant. He was confused and a bit lost as to why she was bringing up her name now but knew very well that it had nothing to with the name but the meaning of it.

' Enlightenment. Yes, Gayatri means enlightenment ' and saying that she wiped her tears and bending her head, stared at her clenched fingers for she did not have the strength to speak her mind and see his eyes at the same time. She knew very well that in her desperation there was a chance that she might unburden their painful truth and confess everything to him. She did not want that for him. He had suffered enough all his life and deserved a chance to be happy again, and if possible, with Madhu herself. For that, she would have to leave. Disappear from his life. No, from both their lives.

She slowly looked up with a sad smile that was laced with pain and Ravi saw her eyes shine with some new knowledge and read the look and realized that Gayatri who had been unsure about something all this while now seemed to be sure of it. For her eyes radiated that her mind was made up and that she had answered her own questions that had been plaguing her soul.

He did not know why his heart began to gather speed and he did not know why his instincts began to tingle but he knew that time was up and something had to give and that something had to break.

The man could not hold it any longer and stopped the car in a spot that was safe and from where the vehicle could be easily seen by others going up and coming down. He hurriedly got down from his cab and ran to a secluded spot to pee for he could not hold it any longer.

Most men prefer to hide and pee in private and in as much privacy as the situation will allow. If he is able to, your average man will always leave a urinal in between himself and another guy. Because some dudes get weirded out when others stand directly next to them to take a leak when other urinal stalls are open. Men like their space, and there’s no plausible reason to pee right next to someone else if you can employ a gap urinal.

The stench of urine hit him and informed him that many men like him had stopped and unloaded their bladder just like he was doing and cursing all of them and cursing the bad day he had suffered due to the landslide, he shuffled a few steps and deeper into the shadows and walked into the arms of fate and his destiny.

Grumbled loudly to no one in particular but to his own fate, 'Nearly everyone must have turned back and returned to their homes and hotel rooms praying that the landslide would be cleared by tomorrow morning. My bad luck, that I was the first on the scene and so the last one able to make a U-turn and return home empty-handed' he unzipped and began to empty his full bladder.

Sighing loudly he chuckled and announced to the trees, ' My granddad told me a story about Tenali Raman. One day in court, the King asked everybody what was the happiest moment in their life and everybody gave their version of happiness. Many of them said, money, power and a few said, worshipping God, and finally when all of them including the King looked at Tenali, he smiled and said, ' I feel most happy when I empty my bladder and take a good dump in the morning.'

Needless to say, his answer left everyone scandalized and embarrassed and the king himself did not look kindly at Tenali for answering so flippantly to such a serious question.

A few days later, Tenali invited the king and all the ministers to his place for lunch and all came and all ate their fill not knowing that the food had been laced with a mild laxative.

The laxative began to work on everyone's tummies and all of them began to run towards the bathrooms only to find that all exits had been shut.

The King roared in anger and asked Tenali what was going on and why he had locked the door. Tenali replied that they would find the answer and the meaning behind his answer to what real happiness was in a few moments.

Just like he said, the mild tremors that the King and the others were feeling in their tummies now began to shake and quake and threatened to explode without their owner's permission.

Then the doors opened and everyone ran screaming to the bathrooms and stayed there for a long time.

The king who came out looked at Tenali and said, ' You are right. Nothing beats a good dump and that too when you really need to go.'

In the cold foothills of Kodai, the trees stood silently, shivering in the darkness and stood as mute witnesses as Shadows moved through them.

The man zipped himself and stopped and strained his ears, for he thought he had heard some vague noise behind him and his senses prickled and screamed an internal message of warning.

He quickly turned and nearly died of fear and shock seeing a dark-complexioned man standing there. His Kodai-born mind registered, ' A tribal. A Paliyan.'

Many a time, I find myself down and blue for no rhyme, reason and no clue. Music is the glue that keeps my mind and soul intact and keeps my bones warm.

Their certain pieces of music that lull me like my mother did when I was young and I play them to chase away the blues that huff and puff and batter my already weak walls.

Sometimes, I think I will lay down and never get up but I do for there are a few who need my presence for themselves to be present in this present called life.

So, I turn to music and let them carry me and wash away my blues and lull me and refresh me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwXBN-TPdiM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0596L_5n-S4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36Y_ztEW1NE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEd3UrwI3dQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Uee4OkP1Bc

Avan, Aval Adhu 255

What I am about to write is true and happened a couple of days ago. What I am about to write may or may not be connected to our story directly but I am sure you will home in on what I was trying to say here.

On Sunday that just passed us by, I stopped at the Shiva temple near my house and sitting in my car, God and I looked at each other for a few seconds. I smiled and nodded while God did nothing. I whispered, ' I hope you see me and read my mind. Bye ' and went my way. I turned right and then crossed the short straight and was about to turn left onto the main road when I found a few dozen people blocking the road. A few police officers who were standing waved to me and returning a salute and I headed towards my location. The time was 6.45 AM.

Time went by and after finishing two scenes, I returned to the room and picking up my mobile checked for missed calls and messages. I, to much frustration from people around me always leave my phone in silent mode and always leave it in my bag. To top that, I to much anger from people trying to reach me when I am home find my mobile switched off. ( Well, thats me. Home is home and nothing, nada, zip are allowed without my say so.)

My friend JP aka Jayaprakash had messaged me. " hi, have you heard that Veerappan sir is no more.'

I felt a sense of pain in my heart and a sense of deep loss and I sank to the bed talking to JP and then it got worse when he told me that the 80 year old Veerappan Chettiar had died in an accident.

' Accidenta? Where? Was he driving?'

' Yes. He was in his two-wheeler Honda activa when he was hit and he passed away in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.'

' So sad, JP. Where did he meet with an accident?'

' Just near Vishranthi and just close to that coffee shop where he stops everyday for a cup.'

My heart stopped, nearly stopped as my mouth squeaked, ' WTF! What time was this?'

' 6.30 or so.'

I ended the call and sat drowning in sorrow realizing that I had passed the accident spot where Veerappan chettiar was taking his final gasps of unconscious breath as he bled out.

I cursed God and wished that I had stopped and had held my old friend's hands in mine as he passed on and comforted him and told him that he was not alone and that I was there. Sadly it was not to be and I was not there. All I am left is those final moments and those moments when his brain registered the vehicle coming towards him and slamming into him and throwing him onto the ground.

Death comes to us all in the end. But how it comes and when it comes is the curse and the blessing. I wish if it is even possible, a peaceful death, for even the worst of my enemies. For, in the end, death conquers all. Good and bad.

முடிசார்ந்த மன்னரும் மற்றுமுள்ளோரும் முடிவில் ஒரு

பிடி சாம்பராய் வெந்து மண்ணவதுங் கண்டு பின்னும் இந்தப்

படிசார்ந்த வாழ்வை நினைப்பதல்லால் பொன்னின் அம்பலவர்

அடிசார்ந்து நாம் உய்யவேண்டும் என்றே அறிவாரில்லையே.

The man who had stopped to pee in a hurry was a cab driver. He had been on his way to Madurai airport to pick up a couple and return to Kodai when the landslide had happened and just tens of metres away from where he had brought his car had braked to a screeching halt. He had sat cursing his bad luck for he had just lost a two-way fare and then his luck worsened when he found his rearview mirrors filling up with vehicles and soon the jam stretched all the way up for several km.

It had taken him all these hours to make a U-turn and head back home to Kodai when he had pulled over to empty his bladder.

The cab driver Nalla Muthu's eyes opened wide in shock and fear seeing a man standing near him ( I myself have nearly peed in my pants many a time seeing my own reflection in the full size mirror) and then realizing it was not a ghost or some vengeful spirit that stood before him and was just a tribal man belonging to the Paliyan community, he relaxed and smiled a very slight smile when in the corner of his left eye he saw something shine and turned instinctively to see what was going on. But it was too late.

In the final seconds of his consciousness and in those final moments when his brain was trying to desperately oxygenate itself and keep on working without any blood supply, Cab driver Nalla Muthu saw the Paliyan standing before him with a long shining knife. Just as darkness filled his life permanently, he saw a few men come and join the Paliyan and then he knew nothing for he was dead. The dead once dead stay dead and might come back as the undead. But that is for another story and after I have finished with this tale.

Soon, once this story is over, I hope to return and walk that bridge that connects the living and the dead and ask that important question. Who is really alive and who is really dead and what does living and being dead mean to all of us.

https://youtu.be/jYswFn2ZQwE