*From & To Sathish* - Thread 4 - Page 66

Jannal Oram 338

' Sandhya, I want you to do something for me and that is pack right now and leave Chennai and go somewhere, someplace far away and stay there until I tell you it is safe to come back. Call me after two days, and we will take it from there.'

Sandhya's eyes opened wide ' Karuppu, Enna aachu.will you be all right?'

Periya karuppan ' I have seen worse but what is important right now is the safety of you and our child. So listen to what I said and please follow them carefully.'

Sandhya looked at him in surprise ' you said our child. Do you really mean that karuppu?'

Periya karuppan hugged her with a tenderness that she had never experienced before ' yes,I meant it and we will talk more after a few days. Now, let's finish lunch and I will leave and then, you wait until it turns dark and disappear as I have told you to do.'

Sandhya remembered every moment and every word of Periya Karuppan clearly for they had burnt and branded themselves in her memory. A few minutes before he had left, he had made her sit down had had given her a folder containing some documents and Sandhya opening it saw that the first one was a registered document on stamp paper which stated that Sandhya was the owner of a two-bedroom flat in Madurai and the other documents contained bank details, account numbers and fixed deposits in both hers and her sons names and the amounts ran to a few crores.

The vastness of his generosity had been too much to bear and she had placed back the folder in his lap and had said ' Karuppu, you are enough for me. This small, one-bedroom flat is more than enough for me, you and our son. I don't even want us to get married but all I ask is a small place in your heart and that is enough for me. You know that I have slept around for money but it was only my body that the men with money took and nobody saw my soul or even my eyes. Even, when they were on top of me grunting their lust, my soul remained clear and pure and there were many a time when I too dreamt of a man for myself, who would love me for me and not just for my body and then you entered my life.

From the first touch, I knew that there was a child inside you and that you too were searching for true love and here we are now.'

She placed soft kisses on his lips and cheeks and said with tears ' I don't want anything from you, karuppu. I have some money put away and that is enough for me and my son. All, I want is your love and respect and that is enough.'

Periya Karuppan began to cry and Sandhya knew that these were not tears from his eyes but from his soul and they came pouring out and he mumbled ' I am scared sandhya. I have been scared from the time that we terrorized two kids near Gingee fort and I am scared for I think me and my men crossed a line that should have never been crossed. That girl cried for mercy and that boy said kill me and spare her but we did not and did something worse than even rape and that is we stripped them and made them stand there naked and took photos and videos of them. I was told to do so so that it could be used to blackmail someone who was getting in masters way.'

Then he had given her a small piece of paper, and had said ' If by any chance anything should ever happen to me, and if you ever feel that you need help then call no one else but this gentleman.'

Sandhya took the piece of paper and looked at him ' Karuppu, there is no name here but the number. What is this person's name?'

' Raman. His name is Gothanda Raman and he is the kindest and the most honest person that you will ever meet. More importantly, he will protect you if you ask him for help. But, remember to call him only when you feel it is an emergency.'

Sandhya had looked at him ' Raman. what does he do for a living karuppu?'

' He is an advocate and the best' and then began to sob like a small boy and had continued ' those two kids were part of this Raman's family.'

Sandhya gasped in fear ' Enna Karuppu. You have wronged this man terribly and yet you give me his number to contact in an emergency. Why would he want to help me and would he even respond if he knows that I am your lover?'

Periya karuppan smiled ' he will respond and he will come and he will do all that you request of him for he is not an ordinary human being but a kind-hearted angel looking for answers and he will not stop looking until he finds those responsible for what has been done to his family.'

Periya Karuppan had never come back and Sandhya knew for sure when all the papers confirmed his brutal murder and even she had known that it was not Raman who had killed her Karuppu but his master, Minister Vaidyanathan.

And when he had traced her and had called her two hours ago, Sandhyas whole body felt like it had been drained of blood when she heard his familiar voice. He had spoken and had spoken for a long time and she had agreed to meet him at the location that he had given.

" Raman, Gothanda Raman" Sandhya remembered the name and number and she made the call and a voice had answered and even from his voice, she knew instinctively that he was indeed a gentleman and trustworthy.

' Sir, Raman sir' she had said and the advocate had answered ' Yes. Raman here. Neenga yarunga madam?'

' Sir, myself friend of Karuppu, sir.'

At the entrance of Vijaya hospitals, Raman's feet froze in place as his mind flashed the name Periya Karuppan and Sandhya and hurriedly answered ' Sollunga sandhya madam. How can I help you?'

Sandhya was taken aback and asked in a shocked and scared voice' sir, how you knowing my name sir?'

' Enakku theriyum. Because your Periya Karuppan's dying wish was that I promise to watch over you and your son when the time came. And the time has come, finally, come.'

' Sir, karuppu very guilty and bad about what he had done to some girl that belonged to you.'

' I know, sandhya madam because he asked me to forgive him for his sins as he took his last breath and I forgave him and like I promised him, I will protect you and your son even if it means sacrificing my life.'

Sandhya sobbed quietly ' He told me you will sir and he also told me that you were not like other human beings and that you were special.'

“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of the earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, more than before, more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude and more gentle.”― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

Every day, between 6.30 AM and 7.30 AM, my feet are either leaving the gates of the apartment building I live in or returning back home and it matters not whether I am coming or going for I always stop for a moment at the gates.

For, on the compound wall, where the lights are kept, are also kept two large clay pots and the same are populated by many souls of green bodies with white and pink faces. On, tender stalks, single limb and torso in one they are tiny, tender and yet they dance in each gust and beat of the breeze that rushes past them.

Sometimes, I circle around them as I am feeding Kim-jong the bully of a mongrel dog and his mangy army and although my arms are handing out biscuits to the four-legged friends, my eyes are always on the pots and their little green shoots.

'Earth, water, air, along with the fire our sun but where is the fifth element' I used to ask them via my soul wi-fi and then one day standing very close to them, their green stalks tickling my nose, I again asked them ' where is it, this fifth element?' and they whispered ' soul, our fellow soul, and traveler, it is the soul and the so-called spirit that is the fifth element.'

Something moved in me and I stepped back and the green stalks were suddenly turned and twisted in my direction by the moving air and they asked ' why do you retreat, Satish?' and I replied ' you live, bloom, wave, and dance with so many colors and you do all that taking and using so little and here I am, taking so much and giving back so little.'

I often worry that I would pass on without telling other souls who reside in me and are a part of me as to how grateful and thankful I am for their love, friendship and kindness that they have bestowed on me.

That is why I often flog you by flogging myself to never ever forget that all of us are angels and messengers disguised as human beings. Only, when we really see, really feel that gratitude, do all those human disguises fall away and we see the souls for who they truly are, God's creation and our own personal angels.

To be man, to be human is to see only the color of the skin, the hair, the wrinkles, the voice but to be an angel of God is to see the light, the soul in all of us.

Jannal Oram 339

From the moment he had finished talking to Santoshi Lal, Minister Vaidyanathan felt something move inside him and he knew what he had to do next and looking at his daughter Sudha's large photo, he spoke to her ' Ammadi, chellam, I know you have come back to reside in your fathers soul for this change I feel, this unburdening that I am experiencing for the very first time in my life is because of you and your energy. I will set things right and try to set it right as best as possible. This I promise.'

Although Periya karuppan had never confided to him about having a woman stowed away somewhere, Vaidyanathan had known from the beginning who sandhya and her son were and being the Home Minister, he had used the CB-CID to gather information on everyone who worked for him and their movements.

Begging for forgiveness from the dead Periya karuppan, Vaidyanathan made the call to Sandhya and introduced himself. When Sandhya remained silent, he had spoken to her in a kind and soft voice ' I know that a great number of questions must be racing in your mind right now. Like, you must be wondering how I got hold of your number, why I am calling now and also that you are worried about the safety of you and your child.'

Clearing his throat and softening his voice, even more, he spoke to her ' Please listen to me very carefully. I know that you have a lot of questions about Periya Karuppans death among many others. I promise to answer every one of them when you are face to face with me.'

He heard her gasp in fear and shock and quickly added ' we will meet in public and you can bring anybody you want for help and support and I will only be happy if you do so. Please trust me when I say that I am not the person that you think that I am and also that I don't have much time to set things right. But, I am starting with you for on hindsight, I realize now that Periya Karuppan was my best friend and apart from my wife, the only other person in my life who willingly sacrificed everything for me. I think it is fair and right on my part to start with him and his family and see that they are well provided for and taken care of.'

Sandhya asked him what he wanted her to do and where they were supposed to meet and Vaidyanathan told her ' I will be in the Buffet room at Taj Connemara exactly at 12.00 pm and I hope to see you there.'

Raman told Sandhya that he would call back in ten minutes and spoke loudly ' Gentlemen, I mean both you old men who have been snooping on me and using me as bait, did you hear the conversation between me and the lady just now?'

Commissioner Vishwanathan who had been standing there next to Raman all through this smiled, and then Raman's phone rang and placing a finger on his lips, he took the call and at the same time quickly pressed the speaker button.'

General V.K.Singh, Additional secretary, office of joint operation, RAW spoke in beautiful and convent-educated English ' Raman, I am not good at gambling but I am sure that the Commissioner is a great friend of yours and must be the one who informed you about your mobile being tapped and monitored by us.'

Raman laughed loudly ' sir, you are right for you are not definitely not good at gambling for it was not the Commissioner who sneaked to me for the gentleman surely has no clue about what you have done and all the laws that you have broken in the process. Snooping, wiretaps and God only knows what else and all this on private citizens and all done without any permission from the Government or warrants from the courts.'

Commissioner Vishwanathan was stuck between the devil and deep sea and felt like he was in the middle of a frying pan and a blazing fire and the only thing he was most certain was that both the devil and the blazing fire were Raman himself.

He thought quietly ' deep sea, at least we have a chance to float and swim but with the devil you have none. Frying pan at least you will have some time before being scalded, roasted and fried to death but not with a blazing fire' and said in a loud voice ' Gentlemen and I mean both of you, the one who made the call and the one who took the call, this is where I get off, and leave you, gentlemen,'

He looked at Raman ' when you are done, come see me in my office.'

Raman spoke into the phone ' okay, how shall we do this?'

Brigadier Sooryanarayanan growled ' First we take down this Minister and then we use him to take down that fugitive Santoshi Lal.'

' Agreed, but not before you both agree and accept the fact that this lady's safety comes first and there will be no compromise about that and also the fact that you will follow my lead and orders. Say yes and I will tell you both what I have in mind or else, I will use the Commissioners help and also get a new mobile number that will be unregistered and then you will be in the dark.'

After both had agreed, Raman called Sandhya ' Madam, listen to me and follow my instructions carefully and don't worry you will be watched and protected all the way and until this is all over.'

' Raman sir, there is something else.'

Raman remained silent, and Sandhya continued on ' I have a phone that Karuppu told me to give either to you or the minister and use it only as a last-ditch effort and in exchange for me and my sons future.'

' Theriyum Sandhya, Periya Karuppan told me about it as he died in my arms. The phone has his statement about all that he has done for the minister and also details about what he did to our child Sujatha and her fiance Mohan. But, I also have his dying confession in another phone that also has a video recording of him being killed by his own men who were told to do so by the minister himself.'

"The best endings resonate because they echo a word, phrase, or image from earlier in the story, and the reader is prompted to think back to that reference and speculate on a deeper meaning." -James Plath

Good morning. I wish you a beautiful day. All the best.

Rettai Vaal Kuruvi

For the past few months, my ears have been picking up strange calls of a bird and it starts at the time that I am on my second cup of coffee and that is sometime between 3.30 and 4.00 am. A week ago, I heard the same weird vocals and looked up and saw a twin-tailed small blackbird perched high up on the telephone cable and realized it was this bird that was the composer and singer of both the morning and evening ragas.

I asked Shanmugam, our building's man Friday and he said " Rettai Vaal Kuruvi sir" and then when I was at Bajji's place, Sanjay told me it was called " Drongo".

The smallish bird is very brave, and fiercely defends its nest and territory and Sanjay also added that when a Drongo builds its nest in a tree, the crows breathe a sigh of relief for the drongo also watches over the crow's nest without even being aware of it. Bird babies Creche with drongo Kaavalkaaran.

My mornings and evenings are filled with so much fun and that is the only time that I too become the vaalu that I was and both my favorite vaalus step out and I too become a rettai vaalu paiyan. Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn in one tin of adult flesh.

I see the hummingbird chirp and tweet, a tiny form flitting among the branches, small, tiny and just the size of a leaf and my souls swells in a song for its life. Many a time, I stand mesmerized by the window, my eyes straining to see tiny things and eventually see them. The dirty colored lizard stealthily creeping on the dirty compound wall and the new arrivals, kittens, moving their heads after having been in a wary trance and now move seeing their mother moving towards them like a lioness.

I see lost faces of students peeping out of the windows of yellow school buses as they come and go and wonder what they will be and become and I send a prayer and wish them best as the buses leave me darker with their diesel fumes.

I stop sometimes to greet the gentle, fat and sweet blonde labrador whose name is Julie and sing to her and she responds with a whine to my song " Julie, I love you" and graces me a kiss from her cold and wet nose through the gates that separate us both.

Even, when I am walking, my spirit steps away from my body to enjoy every song and every story that surrounds us while my body shyly walks on. We join and we share our thoughts and a new song and a new emotion is created.

I turn my face towards the sun and let its angel rays caress and warm my being and whisper to the " Eye in the sky" to watch over me and my loved ones.

As a boy, I stood before all the gods and prayed for lots of sweets and chocolates and grace marks in physics and maths. Now, I seem to be praying a lot more but now the sweets and chocolates are for others and the grace marks are for those that are fighting harder battles than me and for the one who are literally fighting for their lives. The sweets and chocolates of my childhood are now for better understanding and more peace for me and for those that reside in my heart and soul.

I know now, and the knowing, is growing in stature and that is why I try to sing every moment that I get for singing is better than " Sang and will sing" for it is now, this moment and the only moment that we have control of.

Jannal Oram 340

This world is full of broken things: broken hearts, broken promises, broken people. John Connolly

Now as a man is like this or like that,

according as he acts and according as he behaves, so will he be;

a man of good acts will become good, a man of bad acts, bad;

he becomes pure by pure deeds, bad by bad deeds;

And here they say that a person consists of desires,

and as is his desire, so is his will;

and as is his will, so is his deed;

and whatever deed he does, that he will reap. — Brihadaranyaka Upanishad, 7th Century BCE

Wherever you may have been born and however far away you might have grown up, fate decides your destiny and karma decides the fruit of your action. Karma now reared and stood and strode majestically in all their lives and brought all the players, actors into the hall where the afternoon buffet was about to begin.

At, seven hundred rupees per head, a full buffet in a five-star hotel is considered very good and yet it was going to be delayed by an hour or so.

An hour was all that Raman had requested from V.k.singh and with one phone call to Delhi, from where a call was made to Mumbai where the Chairman of the Tata group, Natarajan Chandrasekaran made his residence and it was arranged.

V.k.Singh spoke into the mobile ' you are on, my lad and I hope it all works out and we get this Minister to confess on record.'

Raman replied ' Sir, this lady Sandhya already has enough proof for us to arrest Vaidyanathan, and moreover I too have in my possession, Periya Karuppan's dying confession and they are more than enough to get our man.'

' Then, why all this drama Raman? and why not simply arrest him right now. You know I have the power to do that and a lot more than that.'

' Sir, I am perfectly aware of that and yet I am saying no because you are failing to see the larger picture. Stop and think of how much damage it will do to my state's ruling party the AIADMK and all the flak the chief minister and his cabinet will have to face from the press and public. Sorry, Mr.Singh, I voted for the late Chief Minister Jayalalitha and even though she is no more, I will not sully her name and please don't forget my best friend Vijay Bhaskar was a famous member of this state. I will not do anything to tarnish his name and his legacy.'

' Raman, please. This is all politics you are talking about, son. We have a duty, a higher duty to this nation young sir. Please, remember that.'

' Sir, We Tamil people are a very emotional type of beings and for us, Politics is a part of our daily lives. All I am asking for is one hour and then we will think of a harsher and a more direct approach.'

Raman looked at his watch and it showed 12.15 pm and he stood near the entrance of the hotel and a car pulled up and a good looking woman dressed in a blue cotton saree got out and began to look here and there for someone.

' God, she reminds me of my English teacher and yet she was a sex worker and Periya karuppan's keep and finally his partner ' Raman thought to himself and going forward called to her ' Sandhya madam'.

Sandhya warily turned and saw the tall stranger walking up to her and all her fears vanished like that for she now knew and understood the words spoken by her Karuppu. ' Raman. His name is Gothanda Raman and he is the kindest and the most honest person that you will ever meet. He will come to help and he will do all that you request of him for he is not an ordinary human being but a kind-hearted angel. The moment you see his eyes you will know what he is and what he stands for. Heaven for the good and hell for the bad.'

Sandhya's eyes began to water with the pain and tragedy of the situation and just when she thought she would collapse and sink to the platform, he was there and he held her with his arms and comforted her with kind and soft words ' It is okay ma'am. It will all be okay.'

Just 100 meters away and in the car parking lot, Karma finally decided to meet Gulab and so now it began, the meeting, the culmination of lives, paths as they merge and come to meet at one point and that is Fate and the consequences of bad karma.

Gulab got out of the rented car disguised as a middle-aged Muslim woman and wheeling a small suitcase headed into the hotel and nobody recognized her and she recognized nobody and her aim was to end Vaidyanathan and gift his kill as a marriage present to her teacher, guide, mentor, lover and soon to be husband and father to her child.

For, Gulab had not told Jamun that she had missed her period and as any woman will know her body pretty well, she knew that she was pregnant with a child, his child, their love child.

"Yada yada hi dharmasya glanirbhavati bharata

Abhythanamadharmasya tadatmanam srijamyaham"

Paritranaya sadhunang vinashay cha dushkritam

Dharmasangsthapanart- hay sambhabami yuge yuge

"Whenever, O descendant of Bharata, there is a decline of Dharma, and rise of Adharma, then I body Myself forth. For the protection of the good, for the destruction of the wicked, and for the establishment of Dharma I come into being in every age."

Every day somewhere in the world

another unsung hero is born.

Someone who is willing,

to lay his or her life on the line

to save other lives

on this wonderful planet of ours

going out of their way,

risking life and limb to protect and defend

into danger and into certain death.

These unsung heroes don’t want medals,

glory or even fame.

In fact, most would walk away afterwards,

without anyone ever knowing their name

it is not that they feel guilty.

They just feel that they haven’t done

anything that is special

or something someone else

wouldn’t have probably done.

Therefore, to all those unsung heroes

this poem is just for you.

For all the lives that you save

each and every day.

Jannal Oram 341

“Happiness, you see, its just an illusion of Fate, a heavenly sleight of hand designed to make you believe in fairy tales. But there's no happily ever after. You'll only find happy endings in books. Some books.”

Fate, karma prompted Gulab to get out of her car, disguised as a middle-aged Muslim woman and to follow her prey, Minister Vaidyanathan into Taj Connemara, Egmore and after pretending to be window shopping, she stopped a staff member and pouring her charm into her eyes and smile, asked sweetly ' Is the restaurant open right now?' and the staff member answered ' yes ma'am. The buffet meals have just been opened' and pointed her in its direction.

Gulab slowly pushed open the door and wheeling her small suitcase casually entered the restaurant and her eyes scanned the place and then she looked away after spotting the Minister and she thought ' all alone and just waiting for me. Thank you for I couldn't have asked for a better scenario to kill you.'

In the few seconds that it took for Gulab to reach the table that was parallel to the minister, she had already scanned the entry and exit points and how she was going to kill him.

She would sit parallel and to his right side and when the time came, she would use the silenced handgun under the table and shoot him dead and in the ensuing chaos make her escape and also remove her disguise and get into a new one and slip away.

Placing the small suitcase to her right, she took a sip of water that was served and let her eyes take in more information.

It was only 12.20 pm and Gulab knew that the place would get crowded only after 1.00 pm or so and decided that she would get this done as quickly as possible and leave the place and then call Jamun to inform him about what she had just done.

Jamun who was at Vijaya hospitals realized that it was too late to get to the CCTV tapes for suddenly the place began to crawl with armed policemen and he knew that Gulab had been recognized by Raman and that it was now pretty dangerous for him to be there.

He thought of calling her and telling her to be careful and even telling her to back away from the minister for his instinct told him that it was better to retreat now and attack later when the time and place was perfectly safe for both of them.

But, everywhere he turned, Jamun found armed commandos gathering in strength and decided that he would call Jamun after leaving the hospital grounds.

It took him nearly twenty minutes to get out of the hospital and then he called Gulab and at the same time that she got his call, Fate, karma, destiny entered the connemara restaurant in the guise of a tall man and Gulab knew who the man was and what his name was, Raman.

She spoke in hushed tones ' baby, great news. I am inside the restaurant watching the minister and guess who walked in, our enemy no.1 himself. The advocate, Raman himself.'

By the time Jamun could take in and digest and process the information his lover and soon to be wife had just given him, she spoke ' he is coming towards me and I think he is coming to meet the minister. Got to go now baby and I will talk to you soon.'

Jamun opened his mouth to yell a loud no when he saw an Assistant commissioner coming towards his direction with some armed police commandos.

He stood calmly as they passed him and then he heard the ACP asking the policemen to barricade the hospital and allow people only with proper ID and purpose.

Fate, Karma decided to play with Jamun and it came rushing past in the guise of a hospital nurse who was running towards the hospital and collided with Jamun and the phone that he had been tentatively holding flew out of his hand and crashed to the ground and broke itself.

The nurse quickly apologized to Jamun who would have broken her neck for what she had done if the armed police commandos had not been there all around him.

The Assistant commissioner came towards them and picking up the broken phone, handed it to Jamun ' I am sorry sir. I don't think the poor nurse did it deliberately. Please forgive her.'

Jamun looked at the ACP whose name tag announced him as P.Damodaran and smiled although inside he felt like he just wanted to smash both the nurse and the cop for having broken his line of communication with Gulab and that at this direst of circumstances.

He looked at the nurse and then the Assistant Commissioner and shrugged ' Bad luck. It is okay' and slowly shuffled away all the while praying to god and hoping that she was safe.

' Gulab, please remember your training and remember my words. You are not ready for this battle and you will never be ready for the man is just too good and too strong for you to face in single combat.'

In total panic, he ran out to the road and hailed an auto and screamed ' Hotel connemara, please as fast as possible.'

He placed a 2000 rupee note in the auto drivers hands and the driver smiled ' Sit sir. I drive like namma superstar speed in Baasha.'

Malik aka Jamun asked the driver 'the shortest route please' and the driver smiled ' sit sir. I go straight and go over Kodambakkam bridge and come down and take left and go straight down Sterling road and enter Egmore via college road and then into Commander-in-chief road and into the hotel. Fifteen minutes sit, vaanga sir.'

The Auto carrying Jamun sped towards the Kodambakkam bridge and Fate, Karma folded her hands and smiled.

In the saddest moments of our life, and when at the lowest ebb of our strength and courage, we ask in despair ' What is the purpose of my existence, this journey, this miserable and painful life?'

I know that you all know as to how many times, yours faithfully and unfailingly has asked these questions in articles, thoughts, poems and stories over the past 13 or so odd years.

Funnily, sadly and a lot more happily I will state that I am still in the dark as to the why and whats of life. But, as to the question of purpose, I have struck on this rather simple and yet a miracle of purpose and that is, be there, live and breathe for your loved ones and for those who have difficulty breathing and by that I mean living and simply existing.

A few months ago, I was sitting on the wall near the beach with an empty bag after having fed all my doggy pals and crows and who I have realized seem more happy on seeing me than some of my so-called human friends and have taken to recognising me and my biscuit bag. Some of the bolder crows fly around me gently tapping me with the tips of their wings and caw and make a huge ruckus and the dogs on cue join the chorus and soon the bag is empty and they quieten down and just sit and stare at me.

Some of the dogs use these moments to lie at my feet and roll on to their backs and plead with me to scratch their bellies and moan and groan when I scratch them and the lazy paws fall asleep with their feet sticking up in the air.

Some of them will sit and stare at me and smile with their jaws wide open and I return their smile with a tilt of my head and ask them ' enna pakare?'

An old man passed me by and I greeted him and he smiled and then sat down and we just stayed like that for ten minutes and it was he who got up first and left with a smile on his face. I did not get up and leave for somehow my heart told me to stay back.

Every day, the old man going on 85 seeks me out and sits by my side and we take turns smiling pleasantly at each other and then we smile and nod and go our ways.

A few days ago, he told me ' Sir, my wife passed away recently and I am all alone. My only son lives abroad in Europe with his wife and children. I have been coming to the beach for some company and found none although it is filled with so many like me. But, I find it nice and comforting to sit by you and just sit in silence.'

I spent the whole day thinking about him and his words and realized that even I had something to give, to offer and I had been doing that for a long time, maybe all my life and at the same time asking and tormenting my creator with questions concerning my arrival.

Calmer than before more, prepared than before, for I know now that even if my purpose is only to feed dogs and crows and smile at old people, that is enough, more than enough for a lifetime.

Jannal Oram 342

The first mistake Gulab had committed was following Minister Vaidyanathan into the restaurant of Taj Connemara. The second mistake had been her decision to take matters into her own hands without consulting her partner and mentor. The third mistake had been to remain seated when Raman had entered the restaurant along with Sandhya. The fourth and final mistake, the most serious one had been her arrogance and overconfidence in her own skills and experience and so it unfolded, the happenings which would be mostly hidden from the public but for the most crucial ones.

Vaidyanathan rested his head on his arms and stared at the table and hearing slight voices, looked up and was surprised to see Raman coming towards him with the woman called Sandhya, of whose presence he had been aware of in periya karuppan's life but had turned a blind eye to it.

He slowly got to his feet and folded his hands and greeted both of them and said ' Vanakkam. Please, sit down.'

Raman who had expected a totally different reaction and that which he was used to from the Minister was taken aback and for a few moments lost for words.

Fate and Karma made Raman to pull a chair and allow sandhya to sit down first and then sat facing Vaidyanathan and in the process and unknowingly shield her from Gulab who sat just a few feet away from their table.

Minister Vaidyanathan closed his eyes and sighing opened them and looked at both Raman and Sandhya and smiled ' I was not expecting you Raman but I am glad that you are here. If you are here with Sandhya, it is obvious that Karuppan and you were indeed aware of each other and somehow made contact and established some kind of trust before he died.'

' I am sorry sir but I have to correct you. Periya Karuppan did not just die but was murdered, hacked to death by his own men and under your orders' Raman interjected and Vaidyanathan nodded ' yes, I gave the orders for his death at that time but now, I regret that decision.'

He looked at Sandhya ' I am sorry and I know that saying sorry is not going to bring Karuppu back to life and give your man back to you. yet, I say sorry and apologize for what I have done to you and your life.'

Sandhya's eyes were full of tears ' You ungrateful man. You evil man. Forget about me for I would have been happy if he was just alive somewhere, even if it meant far away from me.'

She looked at him bitterly ' Do you remember how many crimes he committed for you? And that too over many decades. So many fights, murders, kidnappings and yet you had him finally killed by his own men.'

Something moved against Raman's skin. A familiar touch, a voice he knew so well and it whispered deep in his soul and from the voice, he could make out that she was scared, really scared and that she was trying to warn him and he said her name ' Suja, suja, ennama ' and Suja whispered ' Raman, to your left, to your left.'

Gulab held the silenced handgun under the table she was seated in and held it steadily aimed at the table at which the three sat, with her left side of her body covering her right side movements and she whispered ' Jamun, baby, it will soon be over with just three bullets and tonight while you are buried deep inside me, I will tell you about our child inside me and the father you are going to become.'

The auto sputtered, choked and came to a halt at the foot of the bridge and Jamun knew that fate was conspiring against him and Gulab and screamed and tried halting another empty auto and he finally did but after nearly ten minutes.

Death and dead ones come unannounced and unheralded. It will come early in the morning when you are fast asleep. It will take you in its cold arms when you are in bed with your loved one, watching tv, walking your dog or just when you are at peace and one with your maker.

For, death is Judge, Jury, and executioner.

Jannal Oram 343

Raman had loved and cared for Suja very much and now even long after she had passed on, he still trusted her and held on to her memory for he also felt responsible and guilty for her death. Maybe, this was the reason that only he felt her presence and heard her thoughts whisper to him or maybe it was just Fate and plain old Karma that was reaching out to him in the guise of Suja.

But when she said ' Raman, your left, your left, move now ' his eyes swivelled to the corners of the left direction and he saw an old lady and his eyes first went to her eyes and Raman knew who it was and then his eyes dropped to the table and he saw the silencer slowly peeping out from under and ready to spit bullets at them.

Raman's first thought was safety and he made the move without any thought and raising his right knee lifted the table and sent it flying towards the woman with the handgun.

Gulab had planned to shoot and kill both Raman and the Minister and then shoot the woman for good measure for there was no point in leaving any witnesses and just when she was about to pull the trigger, the advocate turned in her direction and met her eyes and she knew that he had somehow recognized her and that moment when she was surprised and at the same time wondering how he had recognized her, she saw a slight movement from him and then she saw their table flying towards her.

Gulab sank to her knees and let the table fly over her and aiming her eyes and the gun at Raman pulled the trigger.

Vaidyanathan moved as fast as his aging body could move and yet he moved for in his heart, he thought not about himself but the safety of Raman and Sandhya.

Raman who sat still using himself to shield Sandhya now found himself being shielded by none other than the man who had wreaked so much destruction in their lives and then he heard the cough of the handgun.

From the way Vaidyanathan's body jerked and from the gasp of pain from him, Raman knew he had been shot and shot many times and again moved and this time his movement was to throw the minister at Gulab and he followed behind it.

Gulab had not expected the table to fly at her and that had caught her totally by surprise and now seeing the body of the minister flying towards her, she ducked when she should have instead stepped back or sideways and kept shooting at what had thrown the minister's body at her.

' Training, more training and now I know why you insisted on that Malik' Gulab told herself but by then it was too late for Raman chopped at her hand and although Gulab pulled her hand back in time, her handgun was hit and it tumbled away and then he was on her.

Raman made the only mistake in those few moments of fighting with Gulab and that mistake was to look at her as a woman and so he landed on her and tried to smother her.

But, the woman instead of panicking, stuck her right foot out and held him away from her and then she delivered a solid and painful kick with the other left and at the same time holding his hands and twisting it, tossed him over her and sprang like a lioness and faced him.

Raman landed on his feet, sure-footed and with the agility of a cat himself and stood facing his enemy and watched fascinatedly as the woman in front of him flung her skirt and top away and stood dressed in a jeans jacket and a tee inside and tight-fitting stretch jeans and then circled her hands and drew them in and at the same time breathing deeply.

With a sad smile, Raman relaxed his arms and keeping them to his side, slowly bent and bowed his head and upper body and raising himself again whispered ' Warrior, I see you and with this bow pay my respects to you and your master and all those masters who came before him. But, I also see that you are a woman. As a fellow warrior and a martial artist myself, my teachings and training forbid me to fight a woman, a child and anyone who is weaker than me.'

Slowly folding his hands on his chest, he looked at her and in a pleading voice ' Please, I beg of you, don't do this for it will end in your defeat.'

The kick she had delivered to his stomach and the way in which she had tossed him over her had filled Gulab with a sense of bravado and arrogance and she growled ' Raman, I am equal to ten, twenty men and maybe more and believe me when I say that for I have taken down men much bigger than you and stronger than you and as you die, you will see more of me and my skills.'

Good morning. I wish you a beautiful day.

Driving to shooting locations situated in and around Virugambakkam and Valasaravakkam is bad enough for driving back home, in the night is a real pain and I also mean the pain in the shoulders, wrists, and feet. If the traffic is bad enough to negotiate, then people whizzing from left to right and right to left is the cherry on top of the nightmare drive.

The story in the serial is at a crossroad and so to add twists and turns, the writer decided some action scenes that end in a tragedy. This required shooting amongst tall mountains although, in the end, the Producer decided that Yercaud was too tall an expense and so the shooting was planned near a small village called Tiruvadisoolam.

My production manager sent me a GPS location and so it began to guide and nearly took me for a long ride via Tambaram. I stopped, got it right and set my sights on Tiruporur and then took a right at the Ambedkar statue and straight towards the location.

Adhu enna, Mr. Ambedkar, why I am asking is for often, he stands guard in his paavam traffic cop and guiding duties with his arm raised and finger extended, thankfully not the middle finger.

Just to make sure of the village location, I called up my Production manager and he repeated the location and said " Sivan kovil sir, yaaru kettalum solvaanga. Old temple sir" and I yelped and said " Yeah man".

For me, old temples and historic places get me really going and leave me feeling blue with nostalgia and melancholy. Well, the so-called amateur writer in me just plonks his sorry arse and sits and dreams and imagines all the people who would have walked there and what they would have been like. Would they have had good lives, someone to love and someone who loved them dearly?

Yenna panrathu. Vayasachu. early onset of some unknown neuro disorders.

The place was crawling with monkeys although the males looked like mini King-kongs and many mummy monkeys with baby hanumans clinging to their breasts.

I stood and sent up a prayer and entered the temple compound and was immediately assaulted by different fragrances of flowers and following my nose went up to the garden, a large garden with varieties of flowers in full bloom.

I sighed and touched each of them and said hi, vanakkam and then told them how lucky they were to be with and around GOD and also end their voyage at his feet. Fanatic, no. Not at all.

There was just an old priest who was decorating the lady Shakti, Sri Imayamadakkodi Ammai, Sri Govardhanambikai and after paying my respects to her, turned right and walked into the master's domain, Sri Idaichuranathar, Sri Gnanapureeswarar and said " Shame, shame. puppy shame" for he was just getting bathed with milk, then curd sandalwood paste and it went on.

There was a lady sitting in front of the Lingam while a constable sat behind her and I knew the lady was a high ranking cop and turned out to be the DSP of that area.

The priest looked at me and folded his hands and said " Iyya vanakkam, vaanga" and as always I refused and he smiled and said " Kapaliya paaka kooptaale ulla vara mateenga" which made my eyebrows go to the top of my receding hairline and squinting my eyes I looked at him and realized that he was one of the priests at Mylai Kapaleeshwarar kovil and we greeted each other.

He looked at me and said " Good time for you to come here, sir. Today being Pradosham and just when we are doing the special abhishekam".

Afterward, I walked around the temple and then fed all the monkeys and a few doggies with the biscuits I had and then it was mountain climb in scorching hot sun that burnt all of us to crisp until late afternoon.

But, standing on that small hill, my eyes kept turning towards the temple throughout the day drawn to it like all those baby monkeys clinging to their mothers and with a goofy smile I got my work done.

It was going to be a two hour drive back home and so saying by to the master, I set off home and well, the skies opened up and rained, cooled and parched the thirsty skin of the earth below and along with the rain, I had Ilayaraja performing for me and to keep me company all the way home.