Vaanathai Pola 90
There is your father and the love that you both share and then there is that man who looks at you and you know that he is seeing right into your soul and sees everything.
Just like her mother who had left them alone and had retreated quietly, Kavita too sat next to her dad and told him everything.
Everything, but who Radhu was and how they had met each other.
Durai Pandi Arumugam sat quietly without any questions, absorbing everything that Kavita had just told him and then both of them heard the door open and saw Sharadha walk in with a tray that held coffee and the sweet that her husband had requested and served them both and stood quietly besides them.
Durai Pandi asked her to sit down and then reaching for the sweet eagerly, began to eat it with great relish and soon wiped the plate clean and sighing with pleasure, placed the plate and spoon on the trolled next to him.
' I am a diabetic and I have been suffering with it for many a year now. I have just recovered from a heart attack and after having undergone bypass surgery have been promised a few more years now, if..' pointing to the empty plate that had held his favourite sweet, ' if I control my diet and if I deprive myself of all that which makes for a good life.'
He looked at the two most important women in his life with a smile, ' what kind of life is one which means having to let go of even the smallest pleasures in life. How worthy is it in the end and what difference will it make to me and to things in general in the grand scale of life?'
Kavita had never heard her dad speak in this manner, reflective and in such a deep manner and she gently reached and touched his hand, ' But, what about me and mum?'
Durai Pandi looked at her in a curious manner, 'what about you and my wife, Kavita? is my life only about you and your mother and not about me and my little desires and needs, too? Am I supposed to starve myself of everything that is called life and live like a prisoner, deprived and depressed? Is that the life you want for me, and is that the life that you would want for yourself? Answer me and honestly, please.'
Sharadha looked at him sadly, ' How is one supposed to counter this kind of logic and reasoning?'
' We all have one life. We all are given a little time and if blessed, a purpose along with it. I have lived my life well and have hopefully completed my purpose.'
The last rays of the sun illuminated their room they were in with its light through the window and shed its rays and grace on all their faces and Durai Pandi gazed fondly at his only child and asked her, ' Do you trust me, Kavita?'
' Appa, what do you mean by that? Of course, I trust you and completely.'
' If that is so, then tell me what is this new change that has come upon you and why it started from yesterday?'
Like anyone of us whose eyes go wide and momentarily freeze when a vehicle coming towards us hits us with its high beam headlights, Kavita too froze and just stared at her dad unable to say anything.
' It is not Raman for we all know that is over and was just an illusion that you were seeing and also he is not here in the city. That being the case, then someone has reached into you, touched you and in the process lit the candle in your soul for I noticed it yesterday itself but did not want to talk about it and intrude into your privacy. But more importantly, did not want to ruin your happiness and the great mood you were in then and also right now.'
Sharadha looked at her husband with new eyes and new understanding and both of them looked at their daughter for an answer.
Minster Durai Pandi gently took Kavita's hand and enveloped it in his and asked her in a soft voice, ' Is he the same person who boldly took on those thugs in the hotel today?'
Kavita nodded and her father asked her, ' who is this man? what is his name?'
' Radha Krishnan.'
Radhu stood on the fourth floor of the Apollo Hospital where he was being treated and was being kept overnight for supervision and looked at Chennai as the night covered it with a black blanket.
' The night sky with stars twinkling faintly overhead on the city that is drowning in its own darkness in which all its lights shine so brightly like the morning sun.'
He heard the door open softly and saw a high ranking police officer walk towards him and turned to face him.
The police officer's eyes saw all the scars on the body of the man who stood facing him without the slightest hint of emotion on his face and introduced himself, ' Good evening Mr.Radha Krishnan. I am Chennai's Commissioner of police and my name is Viswanathan.'
All of us want to go to heaven. But, none of us want to die.
Why, because, dying means, it is all over.Period.End. Nada. Clean bowled.
Why, because, none of us know for certain, if one is eligible, to enter heaven.
Why, because even if most of us believe in God, none of us are sure or have enough faith in God and still doubt if it will be there when we die.
Why, because most of us know that dying means, lights out and secretly tell ourselves that it is the truth and there is no escaping it.
Why, because in our own mammoth false ego we humans want to live, exist in that ego even after death and are unwilling to surrender to earth and its elements that will either burn by fire or decompose by soil.
My thought about death is that it is all just build-up as we watch in terror, the doctor with the syringe that he is going to shove into the fleshy part of your B.M and even as adults we close our eyes and wince and then it is over and we watch the doctor look at you and smirk and say, ' Babies are much better than you adults.'
The doctor I refer here is God.
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