Story Discontinued On IF - Page 16

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Gems.musingsRN thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: Penfolk

Aaradhya, Shreya, thank you so much for dropping in.

RATNA, you are my darling. I know I can't live upto your expectations at the end maybe, because I myself don't know the plot. But thanks for boosting me up to update.

I'm sure you'll exceed my expectations my dear author😳!

And haan I want this to be a novel..ready for publishing 😉..so don't you even think of stopping it with some 20 chapters. Remember it's a novel...minimum 30+ chapters 😉

Can't wait for the next update!
Penkie06 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
" Why did you lie? "
Devasena stared, calm.

Avanthika took sometime, and then slowly uttered, " when a book you were searching for goes missing, and when you eventually happen to be there before it went missing, you are ought to feel insecure of being suspected of stealing it. "

" Ohh come on Avanti! Now you remember that they have CCTVs and the securities have seen you too. But you blatantly lied to Ella! And me too that night! Had you told her the truth that you were there for some thesis purposes, what would be the harm? Now they would totally suspect you! "

Avanthika cupped her face for sometime. And then as if shaking off everything stood up, "whatever. I know I'm clean. So I shouldn't worry. "

" great that way too. " , Devasena smiled.

Avanthika got dressed and before leaving for work, warned, " Deva, for god's sake please don't roam around elsewhere. Stay at home for today if you feel not so well, but don't...please... " , Avanthika didn't complete the statement but cleared her indications. Devasena nodded.

Devasena spend the day idly, trying hard not to think of anything related to the man in question. But everytime her mind went diving into things she didn't want to think about.

After scribbling lines on canvases yet creating nothing fruitful, after listening to the same songs a million times now, Devasena sat at the window and logged into her Fb.

And spontaneously typed Amarendra on the search bar.

Quite a number of profiles popped up, but none matched. A single profile though didn't have a display picture and the bio was minimal.

Anyways, Devasena suddenly realised that she was actually diving into very vague things, once again.
She almost threw the phone away, and it began ringing the very moment.

BD sir calling

Shit.

" What's wrong Devasena? You have not turned up for two days now! I hate to see the 'Ladybird' half done whenever I visit Ethnicity. You know I hate unfinished things... "

" I am a bit not so well sir. I informed Joshita. "

After this the man blabbered for some more time and Devasena waited for the call to disconnect.

The man was in his sixties almost, and Devasena had an unexplained dislike for the man who otherwise behaved very decently with her. But maybe was way too much concerned about her. He had a name no one knew, but someone had rumoured that the expansion to his shorthand was something extremely funny. His son had sculpted 'The Blissful Soul' and received a scholarship from the president and now was in Paris, and the man almost every hour reminded his students of his son.

Crap.

Devasena suddenly felt choked. She set up her mind to stroll below the PG. But an uncertainty gripped her. If she went down to see the man in question standing with his bike, what would she do?

Ignore. Ignore? How even!

Devasena came out of the room to the corridor and shouted out for Bablu, a little boy who stayed downstairs and brought the necessities of the inmates. He came dancing.

" Babu, please go and check if someone's standing with a bike below the PG. "

The little boy was gifted with a sense of humour everyone knew of, and was way too mature for his age. " Ooo... Boyfriend. " , he stretched.

Devasena showed a slap and he ran away laughing. And Devasena stood at the door.

Boyfriend! Meh!

Bablu had brought the good news of his absence, and Devasena had been strolling down the road for quite sometime now. Their PG was situated at a height, and the road sloped down, covered by canopy.

The bike stopped by her side when she took the thirtiest round, shaking her from within.

His eyes covered with shades, Amarendra looked taller today even while sitting on the bike.

" How are you madam? " , he smiled.

Devasena squeezed her brows. Fear of the tiger, and he'll be here.
" F.. Fine. " , she couldn't move though.

" Come, let's go for a ride. You'll feel better. "

" No... ", Devasena shrieked almost, tightening the shawl around her body. " I mean...my friend will be home anytime and she doesn't have the keys. "

Amarendra silently shifted his gaze to the ground, though Devasena couldn't see his eyes.

And then without a word, he drove away. Devasena couldn't even react.

" What? He left! " , Devasena blurted out loud.

Though she didn't exactly know what else could he do, yet an immense anger gripped her and she thumped back into her room.

He left. He just left!

Devasena sat on the bed, still, trying to control.





Avanthika was stuck in work today. So Devasena had kept their keys next door, and taken her White Club card with permission. She had liked the place a little too much.

As Devasena entered her name as a guest of Avanthika Mohan, she asked for a list of the purposes she could visit.

The Musician's gallery.

She came to know it's a hall housing a huge number of musical instruments, in cubicles, and also together. The cubicles too had a few seats for the listeners, and apart from that the entire hall had seats.

Devasena pushed the door to the gallery. The place was semi dark, and music was born every moment, at every corner. The huge hall housed a huge number of instruments and people, but everything seemed so well coordinated.

After hunting down the entire hall, Devasena chose a cubicle for herself. The Santoor Cubicle.
She got in. The cubicle was empty, and she was relieved. She sat on the musician's chair and took up the Santoor, adjusting her scale.

Once done, she drove her fingers through the string, and the world's most soothing sound reached her ears and soaked her soul.

Santoor was her long time love. More than any western instrument, she felt Santoor held greater sweetening index. And Devasena had always played it with skill.

As Devasena created streams of tunes, the cubicle got slowly filled up, because that's how it worked in there. Music attracted music lovers, and Devasena was a pro.

However, today, Devasena as if didn't create the music herself. Though her fingers moved above downwards and throughout, as time passed she felt she was loosing control. Devasena, kept brewing up the music with her eyes closed, oblivious to the gathering crowd, but the truth was she herself was listening to such a maddening tune for the first time.
Suddenly her heart went to a turmoil, something erupted within, and she felt as if words pushed themselves up her throat and banged on her lips...ultimately throwing them open...

Suni jo teri murli
Chali Re Chali Re Chal De
Piya more O jhulmi...
Gaaun tere hi geet kyun
Le main teri ho gayi
Chadh gayi teri preet re...
Ooo Mohna...
Kya huaa...
Kyun mat-maari gayi mori jaise
Chhoda bail ke pag tujhe aise
Hai Ye Saara Dosh Mera...


Devasena's eyes almost burst open , her heart pounded, her head banged. Her fingers had stopped moving, so had her lips. A deafening silence as if engulfed the entire hall, leaving everyone dumbstruck, including the creator of the streams.


Only one human...stood at the door, smiling.


++++
Imagine the song in a language you're comfortable with.
Edited by Penfolk - 8 years ago
tweetie19 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
Poor Devasena...she cannot ignore Amara even if she wants to 😆
I love the way u recreate the scenes from the movie... I was visualizing Devasena playing the song kanha so ja Zara and Amara standing at the door and smiling...so magical

Even after so many chapters, amarendra still remains a mystery...I hope they find the book soon...I'm eager to know what's written in it 😳

Waiting for the next chapter now..thanks for the pm dear 🤗
Penkie06 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: tweetie19

Poor Devasena...she cannot ignore Amara even if she wants to 😆

I love the way u recreate the scenes from the movie... I was visualizing Devasena playing the song kanha so ja Zara and Amara standing at the door and smiling...so magical

Even after so many chapters, amarendra still remains a mystery...I hope they find the book soon...I'm eager to know what's written in it 😳

Waiting for the next chapter now..thanks for the pm dear 🤗

That's because I myself still don't know Amarendra's mystery 😆😆😆
So please bear with me.
sonalisharma1 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
Wowww , just loved the update , so AM stands for Avantika Mohan, BD BIJJAL DEVA , HIS SON BHALLAA? ? Ab to bhadra kaa W8 h 😆
poetic thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
Oh Kaushi,

This is becoming so interesting with every passing day. Parts of their present and past worlds are colliding and Devsena is going through the pangs of this explosion. Amarendra has already been there, done that - so he is he giving her the much needed space.

Avanthika's concern for D is genuine. After all that is happening, she wouldn't want her friend to be in that palace once again.

And then the bike stopped by her, on her thirtieth round! And he invited her for a ride, which she alarmingly declined. He drove away, pissing her off in the process.

I am so loving all these. SO eagerly awaiting the next part.

And of course the santoor rendition and the song. This is bliss! ❤️
Edited by poetic - 8 years ago
aaradhaya1688 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
Awesome update
Lovedd it
Thanks for d pm
Gems.musingsRN thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
Oh no BD Sir =bijjaladeva. .and the son is there too .
She should've gone on the bike ride *wink. .but yet we got kanha soja zara moment (and that too on the day of janmashtami )..I hope devasena remembers everything soon..before the villain from Paris makes an entry.

More than amarendra, its madam AM, Avantika Mohan is the mystery.

Eagerly awaiting the next update!
PriyaKABHI thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
Thanks for Update,Dear.😊
It was Amazing Part.😊
Devasena and Avanthika Part was so Interesting.😊
BD Sir part was so Nice.😊
Amarendra asked Devasena for Bike Ride but she said no he disappeared,So Interesting.😲
The way Devasena thinking about the things happening to her was so Interesting.😊
Devasena went to Musician Gallery and play the Santoor and sang the "Kanha Soja Zara" song without her Knowledge,it was so interesting.😊
Amarendra stood at the door with smile,it was so Cute.😳
I hope Devasena will remember her Memory soon.😊
Please Continue soon.😊
PriyaSweety-Anu
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Posted: 8 years ago
So BD Sir hates unfinished things! Point to be noted.

And is the man on the bike Amarendra B? Or another one from the series of look alikes?

Avantika Mohan has memberships of all interesting places! 😃 Plus she is caring. I'd wanted her for a roommate. There's more to her that what we're seeing right now. I'd like to see she too getting De Javu.

I loved loved the way you described Santoor. And also the very fact that you decided to describe it! It's an amazing instrument that creates soulful music, but sadly not as popular as it deserves to be. Such a mood upper! I could picturise that scene well. She playing it, looking clueless as to how, and finally the man himself at the door.

I'm now excited to see Shivgami and Kattappa!

As always, an update that showcased and effortless flow of ideas. There is this liberty and freedom of a fiction, but if overused it can mess up the whole story. But you very well know where to draw the line and you know how to give an unexpected twist to the least significant line. It happened in Jigsaw, I want it to happen here too.

As always, hungry for next!

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